How to not get friend zoned while texting?

throwdontgo31 · 2020-05-08T05:10:24+00:00

I’m in the same boat and i basically just stopped texting everyone. Haven’t messaged any matches on apps. Can’t meet up, so i’ll try again later, or not and just try someone else. I also need advice on this because that’s the only conclusion i came to.

Text is boring, not you.

soberinfant · 2020-05-08T06:11:46+00:00

This whole thing is so new to everyone and it’s SO DIFFICULT! I matched with this guy on tinder who I went to college with and it’s just really hard to not snapchat or text him all the time, since I’m constantly bored/lonely but I know if I do, we’ll run out of things to talk about and it will get so boring. I think you should ease back a bit and talk every few days, so you can’t reach that boredom so easily.

funnyfaceguy · 2020-05-08T05:14:55+00:00

This is my best advice for not getting friend zoned, treat them like they're already your girlfriend.

Reaver_ · 2020-05-08T09:55:24+00:00

I made a post about this: Set up a time to call.

Be nonchalant about it, don't make it seem like a bigger deal than it is. Send her a voice message beforehand just so she can hear your voice and tonality and get comfortable with the idea of actually talking to you. Keep it short, like a minute and a half: "Hey you. This is really random I'm sure, but I'm just so over texting being the only form of communication I have with people. This is where quarantine has me at now. Hope you're doing well (comment on interests of hers she's brought up before/ talk about yours a bit too, or just tell her about your day) Anyway, I'm not gonna turn this into a 30 minute thing, but you should call me sometime, or even send me a goofy voice message back. Talk to you soon!"

I've been doing this and have only had positive responses. It makes you stand out from the however many other guys that are only texting her. Just have fun with it so she knows you're not taking it too seriously, and then after that first call, assuming yall have some chemistry, set up a virtual date over a video call.

This honestly felt like a cheat code or something from how crazy effective it's been for me. Good luck you guys!

Phenom_Mv3 · 2020-05-08T09:48:18+00:00

To be honest, and especially in regards to millennial girls - they don’t usually like to move too quickly in terms of first text message to “asking them out”. there’s a fuck tonne of beta guys trying to get quick booty calls from girls and you’ll automatically be unique if you do it this way.

After tonnes of experience texting girls, I find that texting is an excellent tool to build rapport - but the key is not making friendly connections for too long. Once you find the girl is “vibing” with you on a conversational level, that’s when you need to start thinking about escalating the conversational mood to a more “man and woman” type dynamic, start small with sneaky innuendos, ask them how long they’ve been single for, and progressively move up to more aggressive escalation like sexual fantasies, experiences etc.

The key is to move things between you and her at a steady pace and go based on gut feel, this takes practice. If when you find she’s not receptive to taking things sexual on first attempt following quality rapport, back off and move back to building more rapport, she’s not ready yet - she knows you’re sort of hitting on her and she’ll respect you more if you recognise boundaries and don’t come across as clingy.

When you think you’ve built a stronger connection, “poke the bear” one more time and the next time for example you might find shes more welcoming of that dynamic. Or not. some girls are tougher than others. Don’t give up! It’s all about good timing, patience and not having the end goal of fucking her, because you’ll come off indirectly as desperate, just enjoy the process recognise the moments you’re in and watch shit grow. She’ll be much more receptive to meet up with you if you can tick all these boxes and you establish the man/woman dynamic and she loves it. Good luck!

Note: This whole process works a lot more smoothly when you create a good first impression with the girl, in an “attraction sense”. Look up good ways to banter, joke and make her laugh etc

davey_1986 · 2020-05-08T07:24:53+00:00

Tell her you love her and want to marry her, and ask to do anal on the first date after quarantine, that should work....

P.s good luck and stay safe......

-BiG_T- · 2020-05-08T05:14:47+00:00

Can't help you with the boring part cause I think I'm boring af, but basically myswell just let your intentions be known. I'm in the same situation and nearly from the outset I flirted then straight up said I'm gonna take her on a date after the whole covid situation dies down. So she knows I don't wanna be just friends. Probably the most helpful way of avoiding being in the "friendzone" don't act like you only want to be a friend, because if you act like one you'll get treated like one. Don't be afraid to flirt.

Doesn't stop you from being a nice genuine and caring person. Just don't also come off as not wanting anything more... nor as if you're treating her like a piece of meat for you own satisfaction. You probably get the gist of it

Caveat: take my advice at your own peril😂 don't wanna feel guilty if I let you down or something. I'm sure others would give roughly the same advice, I don't think there's some secret technique. Maybe don't overly care and come off as desperate is another thing.

FitPandaBear · 2020-05-08T10:00:54+00:00

On online dating apps, I like to set up role-plays that sets the premise that the interaction is man to woman.

Example: The woman says, "What do you do for work?" I might reply something silly like "I sell drugs. Will you still consider dating me?" Then, I'll send another text with lol I actually do... This sets the frame that it's man to woman. As long as she doesn't reject you in a serious way when you throw out a line like that, then the premise has been set of it being a man to woman interaction.

Another example: The girl my say sorry about something, and I reply, "I am not sure that I can accept your apology with how rocky things have been between us."

Don't spend too much time on the dating app. The whole point is to build some attraction and comfort, and then get them to texting or dm on IG or whatever app you prefer to use.

ryan_dfs · 2020-05-08T07:55:34+00:00

Stop texting her and wait for her to come back to text you. That will tell you if she's interested. Or don't respond right away.

SteveSan82 · 2020-05-08T07:55:35+00:00

Logistics only. The more you talk the less interested she becomes.

Paltenburg · 2020-05-08T08:48:51+00:00

What about calling?

BitsAndBobs304 · 2020-05-08T09:11:26+00:00

just don't. there's no point in texting now while we are all in lockdown with no safe date to go out and meet people again.

thedudesmashes · 2020-05-08T08:22:27+00:00

Be scarce over text

Y34rZer0 · 2020-05-08T11:12:54+00:00

Tease her (good natured) and make sure to mirror her interest level, ie don’t text her a lot if she isn’t texting you a lot

Derman0524 · 2020-05-08T11:22:04+00:00

Just be yourself m8, don’t change the way you text to hopefully get a girl to be interested in you.

You think the majority of these girls that are chased by guys change who they are? Fuck no.

You’ll only put yourself in the friend zone if you allow it to. If she’s a boring texter and fails to capture your attention then I say put it on pause until this corona stuff blows over

tresslessone · 2020-05-08T09:00:02+00:00

Ever since I've started using voice messages, my text to date rates have shot up dramatically. Now I'm lucky in that I apparently have a good voice, but I'm pretty sure that anyone who speaks slowly and calmly can convey a sense of confidence and masculinity.

masterprocrast99 · 2020-05-08T09:18:51+00:00

Try watching a youtube channel called Based Zeus, he has good tips on texting/online dating and avoiding friendzone.

Illimitible · 2020-05-08T11:06:26+00:00

I’d dump her until you can escalate to a meet as you are almost definitely gonna run out of road texting.

Something along the lines of “look I’m throwing in virtual stuff until lockdown breaks. I’m just gonna focus on exercise and training - see you on the other side”

Then ignore

Let all the other chumps blow her phone up and inevitably they’ll bore her to tears or wrong step and she’ll block them.

The when things lift just hit her for an insta date ..

ImJustSo · 2020-05-08T11:47:33+00:00

Texting and escalating basically feels like it does when you escalate in person. Sometimes you're not exactly sure they want you to touch them, so you just touch them a tiny bit and see how they respond to it. If they don't seem to be into it, then you don't go further than that.

The goal is this: get her to think about sex.

Right? Right. So you look at everything she says and start spinning it that direction. You can do it a little bit at a time. I will usually ask questions and just escalate the level of question.

Example: Who's the hottest guy on the planet to you?

Oh, he does nothing for me, I like my guy with some facial hair! Okay what about girl? Who's the hottest chick?

Oh yeah? Ever kiss a girl?

Oh damn! What about a threesome?

Lol only with two guys, huh?! Would you ever FFM?

How'd the two guys happen? Were you dating one?

Where's your favorite place to be kissed? How about favorite place to kiss on another person?

Sheriff_Rick_Grimes · 2020-05-08T11:48:05+00:00

IG video chat is the one, my guy

sohero_30 · 2020-05-08T12:55:57+00:00

With insta, what I do is. I send funny videos, memes and dirty memes(only if they are find them funny, otherwise it'sa big no no)

Fishhead146 · 2020-05-08T13:19:20+00:00

If you feel like it’s going good try getting her phone number and setting up a FaceTime with her. If she’s interested she will FT w/ you and it will set you apart from the rest imo

BEERIMIK · 2020-05-08T13:23:39+00:00

You should only use texting to set up a date/meeting with her.

miyagikai91 · 2020-05-08T13:45:06+00:00

Do your best and make it interesting. Even get tastefully sexual. Try not to think too much and psyche yourself out. It’s supposed to be fun.

rustedsteellove · 2020-05-08T14:07:40+00:00

You can’t keep texting back and forth. It shows that you are needy. Get her number and call her. Be bold and assertive. Texting is for kids.

2020-05-08T14:10:45+00:00

Hey man, the fact that you don't want to sound like a nice means you're half way there. Just keep flirting. Develop her sexual/ romantic attraction for you. Ignore her attempts to send you to the friend zone. She is testing you. Just keep flirting. But don't be overly enthusiastic about it. Be subtle and just keep things interesting between you two. Maintain that spark. Don't worry about the outcome too much. Just have fun with her. And remember, being "nice" is not fun for the both of you. You won't get anywhere being nice and there are like twenty other guys being nice to her including you. Be the one who makes her feel things.

dumasophobic · 2020-05-08T14:14:46+00:00

Leave them on read, if its not worth saying in person then don't say it at all. Be patient. She will get bored no matter what you say over text. Complement her or say something saucy then that's it, turn your phone off and wait until you see her next. If she keeps messaging you then give short but sweet replies.

dahMezoh · 2020-05-08T14:23:11+00:00

Bro look, the key of not getting in a friendzone first is, you have to get sexual BUT in a playful and "fun" way not in a straight and needy way. But first you have to build rapport. And don't always ask boring sh*t like "hey, what are you doing? Or how was your day? Blablabla" every now and then you can but not that often. Be a little childish, humorous and like I said sexual. For Example you use the word "thing" instead of "dick". Be mysterious and always make like you said sexual innuendo.

WrecoBlade · 2020-05-08T14:28:27+00:00

I hate texting but it's one of the only things you can do during the quarantine. You can flirt through text just like you do irl. Just type things you would normally say irl when you flirt. You should definitely use some emojis to convey the emotion as it's hard to do that through text

"😏😉😄😂🙃🧐😢🤔😈 " and :) :') ;) are usually what I go for as they convey enough emotion while not being girly. You cannot connect with the girl without emotion so don't be a bloody rock. But don't go "😍😘😍☺️😜" like and idiot either. Balance is key.

When you text for a few days, you can do video chats, voice messages, selfies, sexting, erotic calls ect. The limit is your imagination and how much you enjoy your time with the girl. If you don't enjoy the time please don't pursue just for sex. It's a waste of time. If you just want sex, there are thots in bar whom you can pick up in bars after the quarantine.

You can also be really creative and do some online dates using your camera. This way, you connect with her enough to start a great relationship irl after the pandemic's over.

Good luck my friend!

modidlee · 2020-05-08T14:28:55+00:00

You need to at least talk to her on the phone. Women have been known to fall in love with a man's words. Especially if she feels he has a "sexy" voice.

HoobaDooba420 · 2020-05-08T14:28:57+00:00

Stop texting and ask her to hangout

quinnmcd · 2020-05-08T14:38:21+00:00

This post had to be taken down because it appears to be focused on a specific situation or person. While Field Reports deal with specific situations and people, remember that the focus is different:

A field report explains a lesson learned or demonstrates a Seduction concept.
If the point of this post is asking how to get that specific girl, it belongs in AskSeddit.

No worries though! Though the thread has been taken down, any conversations you have started here can still continue, and if you want to PM a mod to get their opinion on this thread, feel free to do so and they will still be able to weigh in.

For next time, remember that posts about a specific situational advice with a specific person are fine as field should be directed to Ask Seddit (/r/askseddit), not to be confused with Ask Reddit.

thienluih · 2020-05-08T14:58:13+00:00

Well rip this post

Title	How to not get friend zoned while texting?
Author	lolopolo999
Upvotes	177
Comments	87
Date	May 8, 2020 4:54 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gfmnxc/how_to_not_get_friend_zoned_while_texting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/how-to-not-get-friend-zoned-while-texting.1495272 https://theredarchive.com/post/1495272

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