I'd appreciate some feedback on that topic. I'm getting the result that I want but I don't like the way I'm getting it.

Lord_Augastus · 2021-05-30T10:05:51+00:00

It might be because when you're friendly you're coming off as unintentionally needy or desperate (I don't know you so I have no idea). Women have a weird sixth sense to this. Project confidence.

MattY2005x · 2021-05-30T15:15:53+00:00

Also remember that we see ourselves way differently than others see us. You might feel that way, but maybe they aren’t receiving it that way

NiNj4_C0W5L4Pr · 2021-05-30T18:49:05+00:00

You've discovered the pickup paradox. It's impossible to approach a woman and DHV because your very action of approach has telegraphed that she is the prize. (I.e. SHE has something you want). You've discovered a loophole where you are the prize and you've kept your HV. This makes women work to pick you up. This makes women feel like they have to put in work to win you over. You've stumbled upon the keys to the kingdom. You can be a great guy, but this is the "bait" to lure them in. Women have an idealized version of a man that they seek out and you're ticking all the boxes. Let them enjoy the "book cover" while you both delve into the story. Oh, and don't take this personally, but men & women both treat each other like pieces of meat. Just accept it.

Blue_Ducktape · 2021-05-30T15:49:14+00:00

I've been having a lot of luck doing the same thing. I think some girls kinda like not knowing much about you

ZestyAppeal · 2021-05-30T17:23:32+00:00

Seduction books aren’t meant to work or else you’d stop buying them

jmaman · 2021-05-30T09:30:10+00:00

It’s the type of women you’re going after.

TheMadShaman · 2021-05-30T13:53:18+00:00

Bro this totally goes in with the books, you demonstrate high value, social validation etc through your body language for example

He’s not very polite. Ooooh he has been like this all his life sure he is in power or authority else such behaviour can’t sustain in society.

He said some xyz unconventional stuff. He is bold enough to say that, meaning he has said it before and noone objected maybe its normal and I should comply with it. Wait, he didn’t care about me saying/doing xyz definitely he is a higher value man and bla bla

Basically they’ll dance if you don’t give them attention and validation.

Its just like in a class, Teacher A is generous and gives full marks to all, teacher B is strict and barely passes anyone. Getting 70 with teacher A means nothing, but getting the same with B means everything.

A polite, generous person is usually taken as a simp and the general openion about him is that he is nice to all, complements everyone he sees and blabla A bad boy who doesn’t give a shot about anyone, this is intresting because even if he says something as basic as you’re fine or I like your style means too much because for all others his reaction is null.

They’ll fight harder to get a reaction from you, to have your attention and validation.

The only issue is, if you continue this style, you’ll always have to keep the validation and attention to yourself and never give it away. The moment you loosen your grip and give away the validation, it means mission passed for them they got what they were running after, now you mean nothing to them. They’ll leave you the moment they get it.

All the best for whatever you do, I’m noone to recommend a style to anyone ✨

FairAnalyst · 2021-05-30T13:18:17+00:00

I'm guessing its because your non-verbals are tight when you're in that state and your non-verbals are less good when outside of it.

Basically, chicks have an emotional attrition rate. This is why if you just keep flirting with a girl and don't escalate she eventually loses interest. Most guys need to flirt/spike to sustain emotional interest, but if your non-verbals are tight enough then you don't need to flirt anymore and basic bitch convos can do the job.

In more nerdy terms, most guys basic fluff (non game material) is like constant -0.1 impact to a girl's emotional state, and he needs to flirt or spike to add +1 so she stays interested. The thing with spikes is they lose effectiveness over time. So maybe first spike is +1, next is +0.9 and so on. Its only when they escalate do the numbers climb back up. Thats why if guys don't escalate but keep flirting the girl eventually fucks off, her attrition rate has grinded that dude's game to ineffectiveness.

But if you have good non-verbals, your fluff is more like +0.1. You don't need to game to get/sustain attraction/interest because the attrition isn't there anymore. You just casually talk and she gets more attracted over time.

TZ879 · 2021-05-30T16:03:23+00:00

It's because people can sense when someone is nervous. Self-respect and confidence are key to personal growth and in relationships.

kimpalonen · 2021-05-30T14:35:13+00:00

I'm a person with lady parts and it's possible this varies across countries, but it is my opinion that this is internalized misogyny on part of American women. I'm sexually active, I'm a kinkster and I've had to do a lot of self therapy on behalf of internalized trauma and generally fucked up shit I've come to expect from people. In order to cope I fantasize a lot about predatory and misogynistic men treating me like a fuck toy.

In light of this I've noticed that it's not just me, these are common fantasies of internalized ideas we've made up about romance and seduction in itself being inherently misogynistic and sexist. A lot of people, men in particular, get very upset by the notion mistaking their performance as something charming when in truth it's only charming because we've learned though movies in particular to expect these behavioral patterns from men.

I'm happy you brought it up and I'm happy to engage in this discussion, because we need to change the way we treat, seduce and flirt with each other. As proof of my given opinion on the matter I'm submitting a few interesting YT-links that may be of use to you:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wWoP8VpbpYI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fLdiI6s2Z3o&ab_channel=TheTakeTheTakeVerified

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1r3FkR5rziY&ab_channel=PopCultureDetectivePopCultureDetectiveVerified

stoobmeister · 2021-05-30T13:53:09+00:00

Do you have any interest in this girl, when you interact with her you might treat her as another rather then a person you fancy. And this may influence her engagement towards you.

hob814 · 2021-05-30T15:00:03+00:00

I get exactly what you mean. Being nice is great and all (i am a nice person i try to be nice to everyone as long as they are respectful to me). But the only unfortunately thing is most of the time people view nice people as someone who wants something from them he needs them. Now ofcourse depends on other factors subconsciously they can know if your just nice to them or you are a really nice person and dont want anything from them. The oy problem with that is they dont know everytime and it need sometime to show them.

As for being unattached emotional this shows confidence really high level of confidence, in they mind subconsciously of course they are think this guy doesnt need me he isnt nice to me. He must be great have alot of people like him, he has to be amazing person i need to be with him. I am they women that will make him fall for her, no one can resist me. And so on because you didnt only show confidence you showed that you dont care about her accepting you, infact she needs you now to accept her charm because your hurting her self value.

I think this can explain your view of it. There is only one thing this works great at the beginning, but you have to become nicer to her if your in a relationship but i dont think i have to tell you that as i am sure you already know. The thing i want to tell you is you have to be emotionless to her every once in a while. That will make her feel scared of losing you and think she did something wrong she has to fix it. Dont over do it though it is not an easy game. Over doing it is bad and not doing it enough can in some cases be bad (depends onany factors that are based on the women your seeing).

I hope this got your mind better about it, and i know it is in a way manipulative, but trust me we are all manipulative if given the chance. If you feel bad about it go out with a girl without using it, if it doesn't work, try with it and see the difference. If it does then you dont need it right

the_originalposter · 2021-05-30T14:20:23+00:00

Which books did you read? Seem to be what I need

INowBelieve · 2021-05-30T14:17:36+00:00

what book are you talking about

Redditorsheaven · 2021-05-30T14:27:24+00:00

You mean with cold approaching or girls you know?

Morena-sexycandy · 2021-05-30T17:13:55+00:00

Confident women will not go after this type of behavior. Maybe inexperienced or low self esteem women will get intrigued by this type.

theotherversionofu · 2021-05-30T15:10:48+00:00

Are you even attracted to women?

Morena-sexycandy · 2021-05-30T17:12:22+00:00

As a woman in my late twenties, I dont like men who don't show emotions and empathy to me or not give me the attention I need. If I find a man I really like but behaves like this, then I also don't give emotion and just keep him only for sex. I wouldn't date or make a relationship with an emotionless person.

-nuuk- · 2021-05-30T15:32:43+00:00

I understand.

GotThaAcid5tab · 2021-05-30T16:11:21+00:00

I wrote a long comment about how suprised I was.

But when u think about it it's actually pretty obvious.

Juan7797 · 2021-05-30T16:12:28+00:00

, its masculine,

VDKay · 2021-05-30T16:45:19+00:00

I don't clearly get if this is a bad or good thing. It depends both on your outer image and also on the types of girls you are trying to get with. For example, it is easy to see how if you are a good-looking guy, acting emotionless, selfish and mysterious, can get you good results. On the other hand, you might be targeting girls (e.g. popular) who selfish and emotionless too, and they might get triggered (positively) by meeting someone like yourself. IF you want to test that theory, try to broaden the types of girls you flirt, e.g. widen your target age range

Personal-Brain428 · 2021-05-30T17:42:42+00:00

give examples of how the interactions look.

HOw you open, what you talk about etc

You mean just be mean to them and ignore them etc?

I can only see this working if she thinks you are handsome, tbh

Hayden_Beroc · 2021-05-30T17:54:38+00:00

Maybe just maybe this is just though of my mind but maybe you are just approaching girls you don't find very attractive. And you know I get it hotter girls can be hard to approach especially if the interaction is going well, sometimes we are not even aware but your body react in a different way by sweating like a pig or we find hard to escalate. But if it is a girl we don't find very attractive we act like the chads within us.

So my advice try to approach the girl you genuinely find attractive to you, how to know you find them very attractive? your body will sweat a lot, you will want to bail out of the interaction every secs and you will feel like shit if they don't text you back after that initial text msg.

focus_flow69 · 2021-05-30T18:42:13+00:00

Bar hookups or people you just wanna lay will be attracted to this and if that's what's you want that's fine. But think about whether or not you could have a relationship about someone who's drawn in by this? Wouldn't you rather date someone who finds kindness, openness and warmth attractive?

DragonDinner22 · 2021-05-31T01:33:21+00:00

I’ve been through similar experience myself. What I can say is, it really depends what you want deep down. If you want sex with multiple women, being someone you’re not will increase your bed numbers as opposed to being authentic. Girls get super wet over tough guys which is how you’re coming off. That’s just how the world is. But in the process you may lose touch with your true self. If you feel like you’re not being honest with yourself than take a step back. There is a middle point where you can get some sexual partners without having to fully compromise your authentic self and personal values. Look more at inner game rather than the corny results based pick up advice or take some acid.

Anonymous808 · 2021-05-31T02:04:42+00:00

It's so true. Keep getting reaffirmed being nice which is showing emotions is a turn off. So back to dgaf mode it is. I'll approach females and then leave. I literally don't have interest anymore. Grown Women don't play games with high value men.

diabolosrisen · 2021-06-01T21:06:08+00:00

Yes I can! And yes it works!!! I get the same exact thing. Especially with beautiful women. Thing is they are use to being fawned over constantly. When you don't, they notice. U might not get anywhere with that tactic other than what u mentioned. If it happens again I would look at their body language and if they're inviting u then jump in with some game. What do you have to loose? U have to experiment on your own style and what works for you as an individual. The key to all this is learn all you can and implement what works and loose what doesn't. What the books won't teach you and never tell you is what's gonna work in your particular situation.

Title	I'd appreciate some feedback on that topic. I'm getting the result that I want but I don't like the way I'm getting it.
Author	ICantBelieveIthhh
Upvotes	211
Comments	96
Date	May 30, 2021 9:05 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/no7976/id_appreciate_some_feedback_on_that_topic_im/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/id-appreciate-some-feedback-on-that-topic-im.1283546 https://theredarchive.com/post/1283546

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