Is Cold Approach Even Effective in the Long Run?

TMGP19 · 2026-02-02T19:17:54+00:00

It is single handedly the most effective way of establishing new relationships with women who you can actually see in real time rather than the sad state of swiping and meeting ppl virtually, albeit it has some positives. In order for it's effectiveness you need to put in a great deal of numbers every week and be consistent otherwise neediness and entitlement start creeping in quick.

Useful-Personality38 · 2026-02-02T19:23:32+00:00

It's definitely effective if you become good at it and make it a habit in day to day life. So if you're out doing something else and see a cute girl you can just approach her. I usually approach at shops, libraries, malls, train stations.

That said, it definitely takes time. But even if you don't get her number it's still good because you're getting more experience and confidence.

It's like a skill you're getting better at and each time you do it you get better. Eventually you can approach in groups or in crowded areas with people watching you. When you do that you show a girl immediately that you have balls

Budget-Kick822 · 2026-02-02T19:04:06+00:00

Cold approach is the fastest way to practice learning game, translates well to all other types of game, gives you the ability to start conversations with strangers anywhere, and improves your life in other ways (confidence, social skills, sales, psychological game theory).

Consistent results come from consistent progress. If you are focused on results, you are not optimally improving. If you are not optimally improving, you need a lot of approaches to get results with the average beginner's ability.

You need to re-read/re-watch a guide on learning cold approach. Then focus on getting better. Doing the right things. Pushing your limits.

Realwoujo · 2026-02-02T19:07:06+00:00

Yes. But you need to know how to do it. Most guys are too scared to approach, and when they do approach, they don't spend enough time with her for her to care enough to hang out with him later.

GKoala · 2026-02-02T20:19:35+00:00

My last girlfriend was a cold approach. Didn't last long, and truth is not much different from girls from dating apps. But point is, you gotta meet them somehow and meeting them in person is much easier than online imo.

SoAnxious · 2026-02-03T07:53:28+00:00

Cold approaching is a fundamental to having game

It's one of the few tasks that can intuitively change how you view women and teach you outcome independence

being truly outcome independent is one of the core features women desire in men

hunterpua · 2026-02-02T19:14:01+00:00

I started this 17 years ago, in 2009. My life only began changing in 2012, so that's after 3 years.

Now, I've gotten everything I could ever want from my dating life and I'm at the point where I can reliably get girls that I want.

But if 3 years is too long for you then don't make the same mistakes that I made.

Don't...

Be too proud to make it easy

A lot of guys struggle with staying consistent in the beginning because its always a battle with nerves, awkwardness, or feeling like you come off weird.

I found out the hard way that pushing through that is a bad strategy and a better one is just to make sure you're approaching at all before you try to do the more challenging and meaningful stuff.

So something meaningful would be flirting with a girl and getting her number but something easier that most guys are too proud to do is just approach people asking for directions.

Literally just that. After they give you the directions, leave.

It's easier to make yourself approach and flirt with someone when you're already approaching people in general vs just walking around and trying to psych yourself up.

Don't be too proud to start small and gradually build up from there.

Also don't...

Avoid educating yourself

I can and I have for the most part, broken down everything from open to close on this subreddit.

That's because I again learned the hard way that just going out and approaching is dumb, no matter how many people recommend it.

If you just approach without any sense of direction, with no idea what you're even practicing, then it will take you infinitely longer to make progress.

Read books, watch videos, and be aware of what exactly you're practicing so you will have a clear idea of how you're progressing.

And on that note, you also shouldn't...

Hop from coach to coach

Seduction advice is a lot like fitness advice, program hopping wastes your time, just like coach hopping wastes your time as well.

Now make no mistake, you don't need to pay anyone.

But pick a coach you like and stick with him for 3 months at least, even if you're just learning from his free content.

Dating coaches are individuals and there is no unified method to seduce women.

And the fact that there isn't a unified method to seduce women isn't evidence that Seduction doesn't work.

There isn't a unified method to do woodwork as well. There isn't a unified method to cook as well. There isn't a unified method to defend yourself as well.

Different woodworkers have different tricks.

Different countries have different cuisines.

Different martial artists have different styles.

There are many roads that will get you to your destination but if you wanna get there fast, stay on the road you chose. If you move to a different road, you'll go back to the starting line.

But the biggest thing you should avoid is...

Inconsistency

Even if you're doing everything above right, if you only approach one girl a week, you will be moving at a snail's pace.

Imagine trying to prepare for a dance competition by practicing only once week when you've never danced in your life.

2012 was the year when I approached almost everyday, multiple times a day and that is also when I started consistently getting dates and actually getting physical with women.

Before that a date was a rarity and I was a virgin.

You don't need to do it everyday but at least 3x a week and 3 women each day you do go approaching.

This is different from the guys telling you to just go approach because you should be layering the other things I wrote about on top of this.

If you do that, you'll probably experience a significant difference in your dating life within 6 months to a year as opposed to my 3 years of making all the mistakes I listed here.

SaladZealousideal913 · 2026-02-02T18:50:57+00:00

every relationship i had was off cold approach

Available-Note-9652 · 2026-02-02T21:53:45+00:00

If you play off of excitement and physical attraction it is still the best way to consistently get high quality women. If I’m on tinder almost every girl is passed around and the decent ones only want extremely good looking dudes. If I do cold approach I get hotter girls that haven’t slept around as much.

Back2theCouture · 2026-02-02T18:58:28+00:00

It depends on what you mean by “effective in the long run”. What is your specific goal?

If your goal is to sharpen your social skills, I’d say it’s worth it as long as you really improve the skills not just shooting the blanks and repeat the same steps/ or even mistakes. It can also be good if it’s only for hookups/ons.

But if you wanted to find a serious relationship, I’d say social circles are more reliable.

MorningRain214 · 2026-02-02T19:57:00+00:00

Regardless, you need to do at least 200 approaches to developer social skills and some wit.

IamRocksteady · 2026-02-02T21:25:20+00:00

Yes it is. Because real life interactions can't be taken over by AI or by filters.

TheMrMacaroni · 2026-02-02T23:30:50+00:00

Yes, you’re outcome dependent.

Every random person (any gender) you talk to, you’re immediately establishing masculinity (ability to charm and talk to anyone) and showing yourself that you have balls- and it further drives self-confidence in all facets of life.

Go talk to an attractive woman, no matter what happens, treat it as self-amusement, you took the plunge and you’re amazing for that.

theadoringfan216 · 2026-02-03T02:02:29+00:00

No the true way is swiping on your phone looking down in a hunchback position, in a system that is wedged against you the only way to make dating consistently work is to pay these companies more and more money

Wide-Illustrator2906 · 2026-02-03T09:26:54+00:00

Cold approach won't work for most guys unless they are objectively handsome. The only thing cold approach is good for is learning to read women's behavior and if they are into.you or not. Other than thst it is one big humiliation ritual

GazelleLast · 2026-02-03T09:59:23+00:00

Most effective yet most hardest, it will make you feel tired and lots of rejections in the beginning but ones it starts to click, it starts to click and you get so much sucess that you can't handle.

Certain_Process_7657 · 2026-02-03T23:27:51+00:00

Yes 4 of my 5 last LTR girlfriends I've met through cold approach. But yes it definitely is a numbers game similar to online dating. Can't just do 1 or 2 approaches in a month and expect that you can get consistent dates/sex. Minimum 5 approaches a week is what I recommend.

An approach is equivalent to a swipe. A phone number is equivalent to a match. Just because you get her digits, doesn't mean she'll actually text you. Just because she texts/calls you, doesn't mean she'll actually agree to a date. Just because you get a date, doesn't mean it will go well and lead to anything.

I'd say my yield rate from numbers to a date is about 1 in 6. Very similar to yield for online matches back when I was on dating apps.

ModeoneUk · 2026-02-04T00:03:43+00:00

Of course it is. The fact you've even asked that sh9ws you've never even tried it or not enough otherwise you wouldn't be saying this.

Approaching builds confidence.

The one thing is there's so many different methods and ways to cold approach which can be confusing

ChicoBrillo · 2026-02-02T18:44:11+00:00

For me, it never felt worth it. Here and there I'd get a one night stand, but most of the time it never amounted to anything more. Much more often it was just an awkward experience. I'm not even really into having random sex these days. The STD risk kinda freaks me out and not knowing if the person is a psycho or not.

I take more of a friendly approach now, which I feel like is always looked down upon in subs like these, but I much prefer it. I want to at least vibe check a person and get to know them on some kind of level before being intimate.

WebNew9978 · 2026-02-02T19:06:08+00:00

IMO, No

IllustriousRain2333 · 2026-02-02T18:59:28+00:00

Imagine begging random people on the street to fuck you. FOR FREE 😭

Like, a guy approaches you while you're minding your own bussiness right. And he wants a number, and then he will want to go out with you, and then he will want to meet uo again somewhere more private etc etc.

Might as well just skip a couple of steps and jump straight onto asking me to suck his dick cause what else is the fucking point anyway, not like he knows me enough to like me and not like he has any respect for me or for himself when he's approaching random women on the street.

So as a woman I'd unironically prefer "would you suck my dick" over another "can I get your phone number", at least I'd be able to say "nah I'm good" without being followed and judged.

Title	Is Cold Approach Even Effective in the Long Run?
Author	thecaveman08
Upvotes	12
Comments	75
Date	February 2, 2026 6:32 PM UTC (6 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1qu3bl9/is_cold_approach_even_effective_in_the_long_run/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-cold-approach-even-effective-in-the-long-run.1572558 https://theredarchive.com/post/1572558

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