no teasing or push/pull

jenny4life · 2022-04-27T13:08:16+00:00

Greetings.

Sometimes watching and observing is helpful.

Other times it may bog us down in all the details.

As a quick story, different fishing lures catch different fish.

Trying “different lures out on the lake” can really give insight to the type of fish you seek.

Being yourself is the best “long term fishing technique” I have seen.

As you are deciding, a lot of fish are attracted to honesty, kindness, and compassion. Those are the commonalities I have seen.

“Brave enough to sing a tune until I hear one that matches. Then we will sing together.”

Stay positive ;) Have a productive, fun filled day.

VivaIlSesso · 2022-04-27T13:06:55+00:00

Many will say there is a secret to seduction; there is not.

RoadyCoder · 2022-04-27T14:47:40+00:00

Not to brag, but I do very well with women and I don’t tease much either. I am a huge believer in the lost art of in depth conversation; stimulating and challenging her on an intellectual level whilst keeping things fun and easy going at the same time. I find that this approach often works much better than just mercilessly negging the shit out of her and acting like a clown.

RideTheRim · 2022-04-27T22:21:24+00:00

Teasing is my go-to because it's so natural for me. I developed the wit at a very young age since I was small for my size and needed a way to "fight back" I guess you could say.

A lot of women respond positively to light teasing, sometimes even offensive jokes. I almost never neg, and keep the teasing related to their choices, not things they can't change about themselves.

A lot of women don't respond well to any form of teasing and I scale it back a lot. If I end up with one of these women, it's almost always casual and never amounts to much. Teasing rarely works online since women can't sense tone, body language, facial expressions, etc. I often get ghosted for trying to tease women in ways I'm 100% certain would work in person.

Teasing in general sets you a part from other suitors because it shows you're not afraid to lose her and also makes you challenging. Most guys are afraid to tease/offend.

shipsAreWeird123 · 2022-04-27T19:02:52+00:00

I think a lot of people are just waiting for someone to ask them about themselves and take genuine interest in the response.

It's really easy to get jaded. A ton of people romanticize toxic behaviors and unhealthy relationships.

But people who sincerely demonstrate their interest and communicate directly often do really well.

I always have trouble when it seems like guys are trying to prove themselves. I want a partner, and someone who respects me, not someone with a chip on their shoulder.

Chief-Blackberry · 2022-04-28T08:04:37+00:00

What’s fascinating to me about all this is, what works for one person may have disastrous effects for another. There seems to be a lot of common things that work amongst most people, but there does seem to be a lot of nuance to it. I had a very eye opening experience a long time ago, which proved very helpful to me in the long run.

Had a buddy who was like myself, fit, successful, relatively handsome and well put together. He was recently divorced and was full on making up for lost time. When I would go out with him, he had had it down to a science and would pull some decent women. Generally they consisted of younger women who weren’t incredibly interesting, plenty nice, but didn’t seem to have a ton of depth to them. He was probably averaging about 80% of time bringing a girl home with him. He would talk a bunch, give me pointers, give examples and it was obviously a successful routine he had built.

I met two women through an event I was involved in, and told them to meet us out at this bar later that evening. All 4 of us meet up, we each match up with a girl and start hanging out and having a good time. These girls are total packages, smart, attractive, funny, etc, and my buddies shtick is sort of working, but even with both of us going at it together, the results seemed mediocre. Later in the night it was clear there wasn’t a ton of interest so we left and went to other bars without them.

We both had each got the respective girls numbers, but neither of us received a response when we asked them to come back out the next weekend. We are at the same group of bars the next weekend and run into them. My buddy goes right into his act again, but I don’t pay them much attention and I really didn’t care anymore because 4 days prior they weren’t even responding to a text from either of us. I did what I wanted to do that night…mingled with others, mingled with them, but kept things low effort. Midway through I’m getting a bunch of indicators from the one, but still play it cool. I go outside to make a call and to my surprise, the girl my buddy was going after engages me, make small talk, and she gives me her number. When I go back in, the other girl is asking about going out on a date and I say sure, I’ll text you during the week. Lol, I remember getting flustered by the whole thing, and realize I’ve done something incredibly right, and tell my buddy we should roll and go to another bar without them before I F it up, haha.

We go to another bar, and I try and maintain this facade like I don’t care what happens, but surprisingly, it probably comes off as disingenuous to new women. My buddy goes right back into his successful routine with good results, and my act, which was genuine and successful not 20 minutes prior, now is going nowhere.

It didn’t hit me right away, and I probably still haven’t grasped the full lesson from that experience, but it was eye opening. Some of it’s obvious but—What works for one person may not work for another and To a certain degree, People can spot if you are being genuine or not.

I always felt confident, but I typically did feel invested in different people and how they felt about me. When I finally threw that concern away, the same girl that wasn’t interested in me the week before now wanted to go on a date. We went out and hooked up, but I did struggle some during the date, because I started caring what happened again. As I got older I did find myself being more comfortable with the thought of losing, and it did have a positive effect on my dating life and how successful I was. Once I heard someone say “sometimes to win, you have to be ok with losing” and I always took that to heart and applied it in life, and it definitely helped to keep things in perspective.

MrBlack__ · 2022-04-27T17:09:44+00:00

I'm learning being direct and slow really works. I stopped joking as much unless we actually have a similar sense of humour and it's working for me.

No sarcasm, no jokes, minimal innuendoes just makes you seam like a serious guy. and her choices become either yes or no. and half the time it's yes

Aarondhp24 · 2022-04-27T21:59:05+00:00

Most of you lack the self awareness to know where the line is, and should avoid teasing. Teasing should be like stand up comedy; if not everyone knows you're joking it's a poorly written joke and strangers didn't pay to see you bomb.

Fluffy_Risk9955 · 2022-04-27T14:29:23+00:00

70% is attitude

entitledwank · 2022-04-28T01:22:40+00:00

You don’t need to play games with girls that are already interested.

bandsupjay · 2022-04-28T01:34:03+00:00

I mean no one said it was necessary. Its just something you can do thatll boost her attraction for you. He most likely has healthy self esteem and presents himself in an attractive way. Just be a man, be yourself bro.

BenNewcomb1 · 2022-04-28T02:47:09+00:00

Teasing makes her laugh, or it should....

Laughter triggers dopamine.

Sounds like He is escalating rapidly through voice tone and tempo and bypassing laughter by turning her on. Won't work on all girls but will definitely get ya laid.

r1bb1tTheFrog · 2022-04-28T04:45:45+00:00

A lot of girls already just want a long or short term relationship. Sounds like he just makes it easy for them.

Prestigious-Sense942 · 2022-04-28T08:12:54+00:00

As a woman I can imagine what type of guy you mean. His smoothness creates the calmness/distance and approach at the same time. It‘s a like push and pull but more authentic. Very appealing of course.

ricewheelie · 2022-04-28T11:28:47+00:00

Watch john anthony lifestyle. Are you talking about Tony? Logistics, eye contact, tonality, body language and wear all black everyday. You get these down you will pull twice a week every week guaranteed

Willstdumitmirgehen · 2022-04-28T12:41:46+00:00

Treat her like a normal human person, if you need an explanation like another guy 😂 this isn't seduction but do you understand?

Elegant_Weasel · 2022-04-28T04:55:09+00:00

putting attention on push/pull as a technique can help you get better at it, but it's also something that should just happen in organic conversation by you being authentic. your friend is probably doing it without realizing it.

CS_masters_LS_PS · 2022-04-27T16:37:13+00:00

.....oh yes there is a secret every pick up artist knows and it's being able to handle rejection !!...what I'm thinking here...it's like a bad football play...or the seen of the Mel G. movie where the army guy call the wrong spot for a bombing run and Mel says forget about it your doing good that one got away...as for fishing and picking up women analogys...not all boats and men's egos are equal...I'm wiping clown make-up off my face now...and she saw me waiting and standing there for her...YES...she will do anything I want now !!...

Neo-Rio · 2022-04-28T02:00:38+00:00

Teasing is important, but it's HOW you do it that's important.

You don't want to tease her about her appearance.
You DO want to tease her in the bedroom

YoMiner · 2022-04-28T00:45:44+00:00

There are many fancy cars that are highly regarded, but many people still get to work in busted up Corollas.

WilhelmTrooper · 2022-04-28T17:40:49+00:00

You have to get yourself into a place mentally where you don’t want it that badly. You don’t want a girl more than anything in the world. You have to make this something that isn’t really important to you anymore.

Ask yourself really hard questions like “Why do I feel like I NEED a girlfriend?” “Why am I trying so hard?” Then you gotta look introspectively and find those answers within. It’s incredibly difficult and won’t happen immediately. The question you should especially ask yourself when you’re in these situations is “which head and I thinking with right now?”.

Do you want a girlfriend because you feel like she will complete you? Do you want one because you see your friend and tons of other men around you getting girlfriends? Do you just want to have sex with them? Do you want one because you feel like that’s what you’re supposed to do and that’s how you become a real man?

These are all really bad reasons to want women in your life. I was in this position and it took a lot of time to get where I am now, and I am still going through this growing phase of trying to not want women and relationships as much. Women can smell true intentions from a mile away either consciously or subconsciously.

When talking to women you have to have the mindset of “This would be cool if it works out and she’s interested in me, but if not it doesn’t matter.”

Title	no teasing or push/pull
Author	JohnZoffman
Upvotes	127
Comments	77
Date	April 27, 2022 12:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ud2u90/no_teasing_or_pushpull/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/no-teasing-or-pushpull.1261074 https://theredarchive.com/post/1261074

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