Overcomplicate

Goruto1334 · 2020-05-01T11:23:56+00:00

That’s like telling someone who is afraid of heights “don’t over complicate things, just go sky diving” or someone who is afraid of spiders “don’t over complicate, just go hold a spider”. People are afraid of different things for whatever reason. Exposure is not the best way to get rid of fear. It in fact can make the fear worse should the experience be negative. If I held that spider to get over my fear, and it bit me or jumped on to my face, I would be even more afraid than before cause I would have verified my fear is rational. If someone who is afraid of women was told “just do it” with no social skills, they will have a bad experience and further push them away from approaching. There’s a process that needs to happen well before actually trying to overcome the fear. It may seem silly to you to be afraid of women, but it is a genuine fear a lot of men have and I don’t think that telling them it’s irrational is the best way to go about it because they will not want to talk about their fear anymore and not seek help or guidance.

SpaceJezuz · 2020-05-01T12:10:41+00:00

Just curious... are you approaching people during the quarantine?

It’s weird seeing so many posts on this sub during the quarantine

Umbran_scale · 2020-05-01T16:07:48+00:00

I swear, if I got even half a buck for the amount of times I see posts or comments saying "Got anxiety? Quit being a bitch and just do it." I'd have enough to live the rest of my days as a sugar daddy for three women.

This doesn't help anyone and you clearly haven't been in the shoes of someone who suffers with social anxiety or many other circumstances that makes a person so reluctant to actually approach someone.

No one wants to feel insecure, no one wants to feel like they don't matter, but until you've experienced their upbringing and lifestyle day dor day you cannot tell them that doing something a certain way is easy just because YOU had an easy time with it and I say this as someone who had those easy times.

The 'overcomplications' you assume are merely excuses people make to get out of doing it because of their depression and anxiety, "I've nothing of interest to offer her" "She's got hundreds more going after her" "Is this really what I want?" Slap me if none of these sound familiar.

What you are seeing as overcomplications are actually a knee jerk response from someone who's struggled with self esteem issues and confidence due to the likes of bullying, lack of praise growing up, small social circles and so on that they become reluctant in opening themselves up to others.

So is it really a surprise when people are so afraid of doing the one thing they've been conditioned not to do all their life and why they protest so badly to advice like this?

khalu1234 · 2020-05-01T15:02:03+00:00

You're confusing something being simple with something being easy. Pickup is simple. All you have to do is be an attractive man, and then vibe with a girl and ask for her number. But you're glossing over a major piece of it by calling it easy. It's a bit like saying: How do you play an amazing guitar solo? Don't overcomplicate it, just become an amazing guitar player and play what comes naturally when you're feeling the music. It's not wrong, but you're glossing over the whole 'become an amazing guitar player' piece.

If you want to get good at seduction all you have to do is get jacked, be dressed well, have your finances in order, have a career that you're excited about with growth potential, be well read, well traveled, go out with a good group of friends, bring positive energy to the social environment you're in, have talked to many girls in the past and learned all the ways you can fall on your face so you know not to do that, then vibe with a girl you meet and ask her for her number. You're right that you don't need to overcomplicate it, but you're not going to get anywhere by just talking to girls if you don't have your confidence in order. And you're not going to have your confidence in order if you're not executing at a high level in your life. Which is why the advice of work on yourself is always the best advice.

vvvrath12 · 2020-05-01T08:24:38+00:00

That's the thing I don't know how to "start a conversation" if I see someone else doing it then maybe

qwertyuiop111222 · 2020-05-01T15:53:23+00:00

r/restofthefuckingowl

miyagikai91 · 2020-05-01T16:24:12+00:00

The thing is, when we over complicate, it’s usually tied to mental baggage accumulated over years. If we think we’re not enough for them, it’s because we don’t feel good enough that much if at all. In other words, there’s a lot to unpack before we get better.

jikol1906 · 2020-05-01T19:39:45+00:00

In January I approached this cute girl on the street and just told her the basic "Hey, I just had to stop you because I found you really cute." We have now spent two months of corona quarantine together and I can now call her my girlfriend. This shit works.

Bigballerway93 · 2020-05-01T20:46:57+00:00

If it were easy this subreddit probably wouldn’t exist. Some of you have it much better than others, whether it be confidence, looks, money or whatever women like these days. Women are too complicated for simplicity

Corchef007 · 2020-05-01T17:32:59+00:00

Soon I will be making a channel on YouTube because I can't stand so much stupidity. Humans ( meat bags capable of reproduction) Humans create overcomplications for one single fact in order for them to act they need to self-talk themselves out of everything that creates discomfort. Is a mechanism that humans call flight or fight response when in reality is the perception of a imaginary fear.

Is funny humans are the only mamals that can create there're own he'll but they can create there own headaches. What way to choose..

About woman. You MUST hit a women indirectly ( you don't think women watches youtube videos) 100% of atracción is iniciete it by her. That's the first thing you guys have to learn ( notice I call you guys for does who feel offended with the assumption I'm calling humans) I know 100% who gets upset or not because must of you live in a dream world and when that world collides you have the needs to regress back to your inner child. Humans can't turn off the emotional side of course sabotaging themselves at every turn. I order to get a women intrested in you , you must give then TASKS to do for you. Is the law of RESIPROCATION. The more tasks you give them the more she will comply to you. Is all friken common sense. The more you exercise the bigger the muscles. As I said before my youtube channel will be up and running is not available yet because I need to come up with a solution on how I can't talk to humans and make then into people without pressing there button's.

DajuanKev · 2020-05-01T16:12:06+00:00

It isn't if she's young asf but has a women build.

Honey_Fool · 2020-05-01T18:40:43+00:00

I didn't know about the existence of PUA strategy. I think I should learn it during this quarantine. Does anyone know about any other strategies that I should learn?

impendinggreatness · 2020-05-01T20:13:11+00:00

So true.

I think people are more so afraid of the steps that come after that but could be wrong

Corchef007 · 2020-05-01T21:26:52+00:00

Is not about been a Superhuman is my lack of emphaty that makes me one.. People you see what I did..your mind created the connection of humans.. Going back People they say they have a heart in reality they don't know how to use it. I see seems as they are without emotional investment.. Blue is blue everywhere but your blue is diferente than my blue because that was taught by others. In a form of association the same way . I mention people and you think the word human.

EGO_PON · 2020-05-01T22:40:42+00:00

This is the very reason why I didn't understand all this things. Because people in these pua sites are overcomplicating the subject

RaymundosConsulting · 2020-05-01T23:28:24+00:00

they're not "over-complicating" anything. many men have done exactly what you've described multiple times, possibly for years, and it hasn't gone over well. so as a result, they, according to you, "over-complicate" things by strategizing before just waltzing over to her and having the same bad results

this reminds me of the quote from the movie "Hitch", where he tells the women, "Does it ever occur to women that maybe a guy might like to have a plan, you know, because he's nervous? He's not sure that he could just walk up to you and you'd respond if he said "I like you." "I like you." "I like you!"

so I completely understand why guys want to make sure they have a plan before approaching. It actually makes perfect sense.

omega_kush · 2020-05-02T00:06:57+00:00

Nobody likes a creepy lingerer...fuckin lingerers man!!

Ancient-Possession · 2020-05-03T11:15:14+00:00

Does having a list of phone numbers give you happiness?

gwbjoyzodj · 2020-05-01T16:04:02+00:00

PUA is ridiculous it’s not methods most guys need to learn it’s just confidence if you’re confident it doesn’t matter what you say to an extent just how you say it

Title	Overcomplicate
Author	steezout
Upvotes	288
Comments	70
Date	May 1, 2020 7:59 AM UTC (6 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/gbe1mh/overcomplicate/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/overcomplicate.1494883 https://theredarchive.com/post/1494883

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