Really struggling with cold-approach. I'll notice a hot girl I want to speak to just as she's passed me and then I struggle to turn back because I've already made eye-contact/smiled, etc.

VisionsOfVisions · 2022-07-20T13:05:50+00:00

I believe you are putting too much pressure on yourself to be always ready to impress. It is totally fine to be doing your own thing, meet a beautiful person, and 30 seconds later recognize, “Oh shit, this girl is really pretty and it would be exciting to get to know her more.”

Take your time. No one expects you to be locked and loaded, ready to charm at a moments notice. Take a breath, notice what is happening inside you, notice what is happening around you, notice what the woman is wearing/doing, and take a shot.

“Hey, I noticed ____, what does ___ mean for you?”

Asking an open ended question gives the woman the opportunity to display her interest. If, in her instant work up of you, she is slightly interested, she will give some indications by her answer.

Calamity__Bane · 2022-07-20T17:49:29+00:00

Take the interaction for what it was and save your energy for the next opportunity. Chances are, you’ll even run into that one again, so there’s no rush.

LilSkills · 2022-07-20T18:01:17+00:00

My anxiety takes shape in the way of:

- you won't look natural now so best leave it
- you already said 'hi' and she didn't give you any strong IOI's
- what if I go back and start fumbling over my words

It is when you hesitate that these thoughts show up. Try not to think about it, just go. That way you won't even give the brain time enough to process these thoughts.

Empty-Afternoon-3975 · 2022-07-20T16:07:20+00:00

I remember a technique called The Sacrificial Lamb. Technically you're supposed to do it just on the first set but I usually do about 2 to 3 sets or until I feel good and ready. So what you do is know that your first few sets will suck so just open as badly as your brain is going to anyways. Sacrifice the first few sets to failure and treat them like warm ups. This doesn't mean fail on purpose, just like stretching is an ease into a workout, stretch your approach game.

So in this particular scenario, I would have been like "Hey miss! I missed the perfect opportunity to talk to you but I'm gonna try to save it. Not like I'm gonna get your number by walking away forever. Anyways, you look hot, you should cool down with me and get some ice cream". Or something like that. Point is don't expect much and just say anything until your brain wakes up with better things.

potatoeswithfries · 2022-07-20T13:10:33+00:00

I make most of my daygame approaches AFTER the girl already passed me. I don't know if that's the best way to go, but it's what I do and it worked for me already in the past.

I walk past her, I turn around, run back to her, get in front of her with my hand extended in front of me to stop her (note: my hand is low, not at eye level) as I pivot to face her, and I tell her something like "excuse me, I know this isn't exactly typical, but I just passed you over there and I thought you look cute, so I want to meet you".

You will have various excuses in your head and you will have to force yourself to turn around and go for it in the beginning, but you know what you have to do and the only question is: how bad do you want it?

cronasminate · 2022-07-20T19:44:09+00:00

It's not weird to say hello to a neighbor or any other human respectfully and then see if they shows signs of interest. You can literally do this any modern country unless the culture does not permit it for whatever reason.

It's weird if you try to start trying to pick her up like some fuckboi and then not getting the clue once she shows you she's not interested. Or if you make it a big deal and get all nervous and shit because you are overly valuing the interaction.

SleepyBeast89 · 2022-07-20T18:03:43+00:00

Get off your phone when you’re around people and in the mood to cold approach I guess?

Dumpster_slut69 · 2022-07-20T20:55:12+00:00

Practice more with all girls you just sound shy and a beginner

Ok-Talk-4303 · 2022-07-20T21:28:10+00:00

I do daygame and I struggled with this as well. Simple answer is, do it anyway. You are just discouraging yourself with a non-issue. I know this because I had the same issue and approached in the same scenario often enough with the girl responding positively. Then I realized what an irrelevant concern it is.

Jasonhardon · 2022-07-20T18:01:13+00:00

If those are the type of pick up interactions you want to excel at then you have to practice. A LOT! I personally wouldn’t do moving sets. I’m not good at them unless they were giving me strong eye contact and good ioi s. It’s like you are stopping them from going about their day and what they need to do in that moment. Also you need a certain level of rapport to get a second interaction from them if you can’t close in that moment. Very Joey Tribbiani’ish opening and closing on the spot. Very few PUAs can do this successfully. Especially day game which is already pretty hard to do even with experience. If you really want to be successful at this then research how to do it then practice doing them a lot. & also there is no one girl there are many whom you can practice with

P7o7s7t7a7l · 2022-07-21T03:58:39+00:00

Go to a strip club, get a lap dance. It will orient your senses and reduce remorse anxiety.

That will happen a million times more in your life, and the results will be the same most of the time, but at least you know you've tried. Nothing ventured nothing gained.

Title	Really struggling with cold-approach. I'll notice a hot girl I want to speak to just as she's passed me and then I struggle to turn back because I've already made eye-contact/smiled, etc.
Author	SnooPets1514
Upvotes	114
Comments	35
Date	July 20, 2022 12:49 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w3lijj/really_struggling_with_coldapproach_ill_notice_a/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/really-struggling-with-cold-approach-ill-notice-a.1254018 https://theredarchive.com/post/1254018

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