Talking about body count???

2022-05-17T00:29:47+00:00

Don't ask, don't tell.

Trendyhorselips · 2022-05-16T23:10:56+00:00

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Good-Phrase · 2022-05-17T02:33:20+00:00

I’m 25m and I was dating a 26f who dumped me shortly after we discussed this topic. I told her I did not want to hear about her sexual history because I don’t want to potentially be turned off and I’d rather just be ignorant to it. She told me “so what if I told you my number you’d think I’m gross and dump me?” I said I doubt it but id rather not know, why would I have to know anyways? This lead to deeper conversations about casual sex/std’s etc. which I’ve never had an interest in doing/never contracted one and it lead to her saying we were too different… idk weird shit to me it was a nice three months getting to know her more but an odd reason to dump someone I think LOL I could clearly tell she was experienced at sex and it would have been no surprise to me to hear she had a moderately high number at least. I just prefer to remain ignorant to sexual histories. My dick gets soft thinking about other dudes banging the girl I’m currently with no thank you.

Mshalopd1 · 2022-05-16T23:33:14+00:00

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Individual-Rush-6927 · 2022-05-16T23:04:44+00:00

Keep it to yourself. It's not necessary to know. I've been with my bf 3 years. We still both don't know..still both very happy not knowing

Mshalopd1 · 2022-05-17T01:11:56+00:00

Do what makes sense to you. It really fucks with some people. Others prefer the honesty. Best to just go with what matters to you. Fuck whatever everyone else says. It's your life and your relationship.

Janemba_Corvalis · 2022-05-16T23:53:42+00:00

what good is going to come from that?

Iharf · 2022-05-17T01:58:28+00:00

It's better 'not to keep count' if your body count is high, and don't volunteer the info either. Lots of women want an 'experienced man', but the amount of experience can be an issue once it's in the open and she could get very suss of women in your orbit if she knows you've been around.

Ngl, I've been curious too about women I've dated, especially if I'm serious, but unless she comes out and says that she's inexperienced or she's a virgin, I'd rather not know.

Either which way, these can be tricky things to navigate, so sometimes it's just best to steer clear.

Demonarke · 2022-05-17T02:13:24+00:00

If you are a man, high body count is good, if you are a woman, it isn't, and before you scream sexism, it's much more harder for a man to get laid than for a woman, that's why it's seen as an achievement in men, and a disgrace in women.

cashewsaregross · 2022-05-17T02:22:33+00:00

I’m 26 and I’ve got somewhere between 100-150+. I’ve been a hoe though since I was about 18.

MrSneakyPeaky · 2022-05-16T22:54:42+00:00

Just keep it to yourself. That sort of thing doesn’t really matter in the gran scheme as long as you was safe. That’s just my opinion though.

kiramdahanett · 2022-05-16T22:54:42+00:00

I am a 29F

it's high , doesn't need any discussion

Future-Platform8225 · 2022-05-17T02:49:52+00:00

I'm in my mid 30s now so I definitely reflect on it differently than I did in my early twenties. I can lay the wood just fine, it's not rocket surgery... But I don't think the high count is a good look for either men or women, I feel men think of it much more in the negative. I just don't ask questions I don't want the answer to. If you live in a big city probably is inconsequential, in my small town I don't want to talk to the barber, mechanic, old Rick at the end of the bar etc and unspokenly acknowledge they've been in my current GF or wife. In my small town this has happened, just want to sit enjoy and pay for my meal without being reminded your girl blew the cook and screwed our waiter!!! If she banged a thousand dudes while on a different continent... Cool whatever.

LevelUp84 · 2022-05-17T02:53:20+00:00

I'm a thot too. I realized life is just trading one set of problems for another.

You just gotta explain that you liked those guys and wanted to have fun. Add an emphasis on STD prevention and you are good.

Necessary-Worry1923 · 2022-05-17T03:59:41+00:00

OP please read this article...

https://ifstudies.org/blog/counterintuitive-trends-in-the-link-between-premarital-sex-and-marital-stability

Basically sluts have a much higher divorce rate. Than women with lower n count.

Sexually promiscuous women also have poorer quality marriages.

Men love to F sluts, but hate to marry them, because we still live in a slut shaming culture, so best stop self identifying. Promiscuous women are considered damaged by many men, and flat out reject LTRs with them

sortamaybwhatever · 2022-05-16T22:58:02+00:00

Yes absolutely stop lying about your body count to your SO. You should be open to sharing that number with your partner. I was at a bar the other night and guy walks up to girl who’s with her boyfriend. Dude gave her the yeah we fucked before hug and poor boyfriend was on the side looking defeated he didn’t know but his body language knew. I honestly felt so bad for him. Women with high body counts are not marriage/relationships material imo.

cardPlayer312 · 2022-05-17T01:09:27+00:00

+/-5 for me. I can maybe go +/-10 if I REALLY like her but if the disparity is too big, won’t last

Outrageous_Pride6017 · 2022-05-17T02:22:09+00:00

Personally, I don’t care. I don’t think it matters. If they don’t ask, then there’s no reason to bring it up unless you feel it necessary. If they do, be honest.

As a guy, if I have a high body count, I get high fives. As a girl, you get looked down on. What gives?

What’s the difference between hooking up with 50 people one time, or one person 50 times? As long as you get regularly tested (every 4-6 partners, or 3-4 months) then it really doesn’t matter. If anything, makes for better sexy time. If a guy has an issue, move on and find someone that makes you happy, simple as that.

RamthelOneFox405 · 2022-05-17T03:55:15+00:00

I'm 31 male spent most of my 20s in a long term relationship. I have a low body count by choice. Or choices rather. I've turned down more women than I've accepted simply for lack of connection or interest. If she's intoxicated and I'm not then it's a no go. I don't consider myself high quality but I also don't consider anyone high or low quality. If I'm interested in a girl idc about body count and to be honest I'm more interested in her showing me what she's learned from her endeavors. Why ruin something good over the past? Hope this helps.

JXphile4 · 2022-05-16T23:50:02+00:00

Keep it to yourself. The man will always think you belong to the streets if it’s in the double digits. Once men know you were once a “hoe”, you’re done.

Most men know you can’t turn hoes into wives and you’ll be recreational use only. He may even string you along for a year long relationship before finding a nice girl who didn’t ride the cock carousel. Lie or keep quiet.

SpiderBen14 · 2022-05-17T02:19:00+00:00

Really, it depends on if it’s the sort of thing that you or your partner care about. I like to know, just to have some sort of ballpark number. Honestly, I am more interested in the circumstances than the number, though. If you got kind of caught up in trying to do what you thought guys wanted, the number kind of got away from you a bit more than you wanted, but you reigned it back in when you realized that it wasn’t making much difference, then I would not worry about that. Basically, if it’s high because you went through kind of a “phase”, I think it’s less concerning to have a higher number than someone who is a serial dater that is constantly relationship hopping. People equate experience with all sorts of things that it doesn’t mean. My highest number partners weren’t any more comfortable or knowledgeable really than those who had lower numbers. Mostly because guys suck and don’t actually try. But, thankfully for them, I know what I am doing and they usually learn new things about themselves from me.

Dracron · 2022-05-17T02:38:58+00:00

I don't think body count should really matter. I don't know that I would suggest bringing it up, but I wouldn't suggest lying about it or avoiding talking about it with any SO that you want to be with long-term, especially if they bring it up.

Basically, if you don't feel like you can talk about it with them, then either your not fully vested in the relationship or your relationship is not healthy.

Choo_choo_taa · 2022-05-17T03:27:52+00:00

If body count is an issue to either of you, you have bigger problems.

willowbeef · 2022-05-17T03:30:38+00:00

I have a high body count, while I am my fiancés 3rd ever and those first two were his high school girlfriends. I have not disclosed body count, it’s irrelevant. I’m relieved that he didn’t break up with me to “experience other things” while he’s young. I was kinda worried about that when he was 20-21.

Sticy_Jacky02 · 2022-05-17T03:56:50+00:00

Just be honest and don’t try to lie.

LolaBijou · 2022-05-17T04:10:25+00:00

No good will come from it, in either direction. Transparency is good, but that doesn’t mean you need to talk about everything. You also know your partner takes a shit, but you don’t need to talk about it.

StereoFood · 2022-05-17T02:33:24+00:00

I’m in the 20s she’s probably more or less 100. I can’t say it doesn’t hurt often, but you get over it. As long as she doesn’t cheat. If I ever find out, adios.

aacevest · 2022-05-17T02:46:44+00:00

Well, mine is between 300 and 400, and I'm not going to disclose that number to any of my past, present or future partners, but on the other hand I will never ask I don't see the point, I'm with my current partner because I want to be with her, and I accept that she had a past and a life before me, all those people asking "how many" are a bunch of AH, but also, the people that disclose the number, any number, I just brush it of and play dumb, there's no need to open the door to THAT conversation

AE_Ricky_Bobby · 2022-05-17T01:26:38+00:00

Honestly i dont think body count matters, i feel like its bordering insecurity more then anything, cause if a guy had a body county of 40 and his SO 35 does it make a difference if the guy had a body count of only 5 instead of 40, either way she still slept with 35 people.

And besides were not in the 1950s anymore most girls are going to have a higher then normal body count, not as frowned upon to sleep around anymore and theres nothing wrong with it in my opinion!

korkdaddy69 · 2022-05-17T00:51:00+00:00

It's not worth disclosing. Who ever has the smaller number and it's usually the guy will be upset, especially if the number is double theirs or even higher making things worse!

2022-05-17T01:40:34+00:00

Pretty much every woman I date asks and I don’t disclose. I just tell them that it’s private and personal information that is between me and the women i have been with. Additionally i do not want to know her number either.

burncushlikewood · 2022-05-17T02:41:27+00:00

Women care more about intimacy, and emotional connection than just pure sex, men are the other way around just saying, it's quality not quantity

Themrhalo3freak · 2022-05-17T01:40:01+00:00

If it’s a high number and you’re a woman why bring it up, there is no reason you should bring it up or discuss it really. A hookup or FWB with a high body count is fine as long as their clean IMHO, for a serious girlfriend however it is completely different.

manxkarst · 2022-05-17T02:54:36+00:00

If you are a woman do not tell the guy about it

desert_zyphr · 2022-05-17T04:10:27+00:00

Pete Davidson said it best when he said stop shaming women for having sex! We want them to have sex with us! We should all be fucking so much all of our body counts should be over 100! (That last part was me 😹)

AceFiveSuited · 2022-05-17T00:44:56+00:00

If it's particularly low like 5 or less than it's okay to talk about it. If it's 10+ it would turn off most men so I would just avoid the subject. You can also lie as long as you're certain the other person can't reasonably confirm your body count.

MediterraneanBastard · 2022-05-17T02:12:11+00:00

Absolutely, definitely keep it to yourself. It’s very unimportant information that doesn’t help anybody

ThatDamPlatypus · 2022-05-17T03:24:56+00:00

Well I think we will have to agree to disagree on this one. Thanks for the valid response though. I put some thought into trying to respond and probably cause it's getting late for me I can't think of anything to say lol.

dark_dragoon10 · 2022-05-17T03:39:00+00:00

I told my ex and she told me hers. I was #5 or 6 for her and she was #8 or 9 for me but I kept dating around for ~6 months and racked up another 20 because my game was improving but once we went exclusive I told her. Figured if it's a deal breaker she might as well know sooner rather than later.

coachedthegreat · 2022-05-17T03:59:51+00:00

Username checks out. Im asian too but my math sucks

Title	Talking about body count???
Author	Trendyhorselips
Upvotes	39
Comments	158
Date	May 16, 2022 10:51 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/ur8bv4/talking_about_body_count/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/talking-about-body-count.1259440 https://theredarchive.com/post/1259440

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