Whether you are looking for a short-term casual or long-term serious relationship, you need to focus on having fun.
If you are focused on a tangible outcome (sex, relationship, etc.), you will not get it. You will be disappointed, dating will not be fun, and you will probably get discouraged.
You should go into every interaction with women with the mindset, "can I have fun with this girl?"
"If the interaction was fun, she gets another date. If not, I move on."
Once you use fun as the goal, everything else will fall into place. You will also enjoy the process, instead of having ups and downs when things don't work out.
If you do not have fun with her, why are you even trying to see her again? If a woman has fun with you, she will want to see you again.
Don't focus on "I need to do XYZ on this date so she'll go out with me again." This makes you needy and outcome dependent -- the outcome being another date. She will sense this and you won't get another date. It gives her the power because she gets to decide on whether you get another date.
But when you focus on fun as the outcome, "can I have fun with her?", you are in control of whether you get another date. If you were able to have fun with her, she gets to go on another date with you. If you couldn't have fun with her, move on to another woman who you can have fun with. What's the point of any relationship if you aren't having fun?
Treat every single interaction with her this way ("can I have fun with her?") and the other "outcomes" will fall into place. If she is worthy of a second date because you were able to have fun, she will want to go on a second date. If you keep having fun, she will have sex with you when she's ready. If you keep having fun, she will either be okay with a casual relationship because you are giving her a good time or she will ask you to commit to her because she wants you to only have fun with her.
The above mindset is the biggest single factor which has improved my dating life and mental health. I used to go into every date "how do I get a second date with her?" and I never would get a second date, and I wasn't having fun because of that. Eventually, I said fuck it, I'm just going to see how much fun I can have dating; and if I have fun, I'll go out with her again. I stopped caring about the outcome of a relationship, and just focused on having fun with a woman. If I can't have fun, what's the point of going out with this girl? After I shifted to this mindset, I couldn't not get a second date. I started getting sex and women started asking me to be in relationships with them after several weeks of fun dates. The only "depressing" situations I have are now in my control; I meet a woman who I have a lot of fun with, but I know she isn't right for me and I have to tell her that it's not going to work; I get sad because I lose this fun relationship, but that sad is a lot less than a woman I like not agreeing to another date. If I go out with a woman and can't have fun with her, I move on, knowing that even if I did get more dates, they'd be pointless and boring; and if she did keep going out with me, it would lead to a boring relationship with a boring woman and I would not be happy.
So just go out there and have fun.
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