~ archived since 2018 ~
~ archived since 2018 ~
| Upvotes | Comment on | Subreddit | Date (UTC) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | How do you MAKE yourself more exciting or interesting? (not just for dating, but in general)Gaming is something that definitely won’t be going anywhere; I’m actively looking into transitioning to a career in the gaming industry, as it’s something I’ve wanted to do since I was a child. Definitely will scale back and incorporate more healthy habits, but gaming is very much part of who I am, for better or worse. | /r/seduction | 26/02/25 09:25 AM |
| 5 | If your goal is to meet a woman and start a family in the near future, would your strategy change?It’s something I’ve thought about and wanted for a long time, but a few days ago I just had a weird experience. I was at a level of exhaustion where I was basically teetering between being being awake and falling asleep, and just had this really vivid… I guess “nightmare”, of both my parents passing away and just being completely alone. I can’t put into words just how terrifying that felt. Just completely empty. I started imaging what my life might look like with a wife and bunch of kids, and it… | /r/seduction | 26/11/24 06:50 AM |
| 1 | How would you casually ask out someone you just met out and about running errands?So then, you'd end the conversation with something like "Hey, I've gotta get going but you seem pretty cool, maybe I can buy you a cup of coffee sometime?" and then hand her my phone to add her number? Like... specifics really matter here. I have a really hard time connecting the dots for how you're supposed to ask for someone's number, in a way that doesn't seem high-pressure or anything. | /r/seduction | 25/10/24 06:48 PM |
| 2 | How would you casually ask out someone you just met out and about running errands?When you say "hand them you're number"... what, should I go out and buy business cards or something? I don't exactly walk around with a pen and pad or anything. | /r/seduction | 25/10/24 06:20 PM |
| 1 | How to stop being a "Nice Guy"? How to balance wanting to be fun and upbeat, without just being "platonic and boring"?Texted after a few days, no reply. A bit surprised honestly, but not sweating it. I have a lot of work to do on myself, namely my whole mindset feels “off”. Probably not in the space to date anyone now anyways. | /r/seduction | 20/04/24 09:46 PM |
| 13 | Why aren't you having fun with women?I dunno, I don’t know how much “fun” going out by yourself is. It’s so hard to strike up conversation with people unless I’m just really in the right mindset, which seems harder to even get into. So I’m going places I don’t really want to go, spending money I don’t really want to spend, and it’s ultimately only in the hopes of meeting someone to connect with, which has never happened. I honestly wonder if “being dateable” is more of a personality trait, than a “result” per se. That some guys jus… | /r/seduction | 16/03/24 09:09 PM |
| 1 | Not sure if I've actually matured enough to not "need" a woman, or if I've just grown tired of tryingNot really. One lives halfway across the country, one I work with and we've gotten to butting heads and the friendship is basically dead, and the other just had his second baby, so it doesn't leave much room for social interaction. The one who lives across the country, we at least get on Xbox usually one or two nights a week to chat while we play, and probably every couple of months have an actual phone call to chat about shit that's going on. I dunno, I think I need to do some reflecting on shi… | /r/askTRP | 04/06/21 05:06 PM |
| 3 | Only Fans Hypergamy or Prostitution Lite?I dunno, man; I remember hearing a guy once say "we're all out here just tryna make it", and part of me can respect the hustle. I question how much of a divide there is between selling photos and actually selling her body, but I at least recognize a distinction of some kind exists. I wouldn't want a girl that's promiscuous, sure... but at the same time, I also have a certain respect for women who are committed to making their own money, too. "Respect the hustle", as they say. I mean realisticall… | /r/askTRP | 18/05/21 06:10 PM |
| 6 | Has Anyone here started as an absolute incel but ended up becoming a chad through the teachings of trp? I would like to hear your storyDefinitely started as an "incel". Just very down on myself, zero confidence, genuinely believed that "there's something wrong with me, something that's too late to be fixed". I was like that up until... probably 30? I'm 33 now, and while I still have a LONG ways to go before I'd consider myself anything resembling a "chad", I've also come a long ways. I overcame my lifelong depression, I've become more assertive, I'm willing to put my own needs and desires over "everyone else" now (whereas befor… | /r/askTRP | 11/05/21 02:08 PM |
| 3 | I’ve been a follower of the Red pill for a couple years but my experience with my GF does not align with a lot of the theory hereI would add something to this. Year ago I had "orbited" a girl. We pretty much stopped hanging out, though no bad blood. We decided to meet up over St Patty's, and general advice was "that's not gonna lead to anything good". Well, I wound up banging her that night. Thing is, that doesn't mean that it was BAD advice; in fact, it's still very GOOD advice for guys not to try and change the dynamic of a relationship. It could just as easily have turned into an awkward situation, it could've just bee… | /r/askTRP | 28/04/21 10:46 PM |
| 1 | Is there a version of "Red Pill" for conducting yourself in PROFESSIONAL environments?Honestly, there's a LOT to absorb from this, and I really appreciate it. I'm going to have to mull over some ways to apply some of your methods to my own situation (aside from my very small team, very few people in the office socialize other than cliques of different women), but definitely a ton of ideas here. Much appreciated, man. | /r/askTRP | 28/04/21 10:15 PM |
| 1 | Is there a version of "Red Pill" for conducting yourself in PROFESSIONAL environments?I appreciate that. I just feel like I've run into a bit of a professional brick-wall, because what I do is pretty damn niche, and I'm essentially at the top of my particular niche's industry already. The past few weeks, I've kind of contented myself to the fact, and been trying to put some of those skills to use in the whole "twitch streaming" world, since it's one of the few avenues that I can use skills I already have in new ways. But I'm also not necessarily banking on that becoming by new br… | /r/askTRP | 28/04/21 10:11 PM |
| 2 | Is there a version of "Red Pill" for conducting yourself in PROFESSIONAL environments?I appreciate that. I've read those uncleVas posts, but... well, if I'm being honest, they sort of come off as a self-congratulating circle-jerk. He's high enough on the corporate ladder he can afford to be more bold. I'm not; I'm good at my job, but I'm relatively easily replaceable. I'm honestly quite a lot younger than many in my office, even at 33. | /r/askTRP | 27/04/21 07:49 PM |
| 2 | As I've been building confidence, I've noticed me and my "alpha" friend butt heads a lot, to the point I worry we aren't going to be friends much longer. Any sort of advice?Appreciate the perspective. I checked on him pretty regularly last year, but he seems to act like things are great. More what I've noticed is... about two years ago, he started taking adderall, and I noticed an immediate shift in his personality. But he refused to take my concerns seriously at first, and would sort of get defensive like "Don't worry, I good with it", but months later would pop them like pez and joke about it. Just a tricky situation... he never seems to want to talk, and the few… | /r/askTRP | 08/04/21 03:48 PM |
| 5 | I feel like I'm a kid when I talk to adults even if I'm 28; what to do?Honestly, I totally used to be this way. I'm 33 now, but had similar anxiety until I was probably 31. I also had a lot of social anxiety, including the occasional full-blown panic attack. I can only share what helped for me. I'd always lived with other people. So I had a ton of anxiety feeling like I was "behind" where other people were in life (which sounds like you may as well, when you mention low IQ, despite IQ being a measurement more of social-awareness than actual intelligence). When I mo… | /r/askTRP | 05/04/21 02:41 PM |
| 1 | Asked her out, she replied “Maybe. Just struggling with recent breakup.” Response?100%, I think you guys tempered my expectations enough to really go in with zero expectations. In fairness, I really haven't been out drinking since covid hit, so I was chatting it up with random folks, by the time we left the bar, I literally had folks saying "aww jcorb's leaving!", giving me hugs and shit. I was really at the top of my game, just enjoying the night. As far as the "out of my league" thing, that's why I put it in quotes. It's a line of thinking that's hard to break free of, but … | /r/askTRP | 18/03/21 02:51 PM |
| 1 | Asked her out, she replied “Maybe. Just struggling with recent breakup.” Response?Good news, everyone: I fucked her! She's still hung up on the other dude, so I'm probably just a case of "right place, right time". But we decided to meet up yesterday for drinks, hung out with a bunch of friends, invited me to crash on her couch, then invited me to her room. In all honesty though, I think this is just further proof that TRP teaches good shit. We'd talked earlier in the night about how much I'm "moving forward", that I've also become kind of a big deal at work, just through self… | /r/askTRP | 18/03/21 01:44 PM |
| 4 | It just feel like it's all about looks?I don't think smiling hurts; it's more context. If you're just "smiling for a photo", then that isn't gonna help. But if you're doing something, and you just look like someone who've having an awesome time, people are going to want to be a part of that. I don't think online dating is exclusively for women. Rather it's a tool for top-tier men to get easy access to chicks. I think as long as you're above-average, it's probably worthwhile, as long as you aren't spending a lot of time on it. An old … | /r/askTRP | 16/03/21 04:10 PM |
| 1 | It just feel like it's all about looks?Online dating is like 90% looks. Anyone saying otherwise is selling something. That said, you've got everything you need. The top-left picture sucks, and I would kind of say the bottom-left too; now because they're bad pictures (in fact, the top-left looks perfect for something like LinkedIn), but they make you look "safe" or "normal". That top-right pic? That shit is gold; you look cool, you're smiling, and also you look tall. Good shit. Bottom-right I'd say it "okay"; another good photo, but d… | /r/askTRP | 16/03/21 03:57 PM |
| 0 | Asked her out, she replied “Maybe. Just struggling with recent breakup.” Response?Fair enough. Though there absolutely WAS a time she did; I was just too retarded at the time to make my move (in fact, I really had two chances, though I got cockblocked one of those). But as someone overly self-critical, I’ve definitely realized that if a woman is interested, there’s often a very specific window for you to make a move. Definitely trying to practice a little more self-care and be more mindful how I talk to myself. I’m sure exercising and eating healthier will help, but I definit… | /r/askTRP | 14/03/21 04:06 PM |
| 3 | Asked her out, she replied “Maybe. Just struggling with recent breakup.” Response?Appreciate the feedback, really. I just replied “Cool, no pressure either way”, and that’ll be the end of it. Like I said in another post, I’m just in a mindset right now of “spring cleaning”. I’m probably gonna relocate soon, so all the chicks I previously orbited it whatever, figure I may as well make a move, since there’s no real ramifications, and it’s really been good practice, just getting over the nerves of “what if she says no?”. | /r/askTRP | 14/03/21 04:02 PM |
| 1 | Asked her out, she replied “Maybe. Just struggling with recent breakup.” Response?Fair enough. In all honesty, I’ve just had a mentality the past few days to just do some “spring cleaning”. All the chicks I previously orbited, just sort of rip the bandaid off, make a move and then move on. Odds are good I’m going to be relocating soon anyways, and just want to be able to say at the very least, I made a move. And it’s been good practice, getting used to asking girls out and not being quite so invested. I think I had some particular bad experiences when I was younger, getting t… | /r/askTRP | 14/03/21 03:58 PM |
| 2 | Dentist told me to consider braces at the age of 35. Not confident about it.I'll be honest man, I'm thinking about it too. I just turned 33, also single. Honestly, I totally get the same anxiety, but something I keep coming back to is "I could be one sexy sonuvabitch if I had straight teeth". In fact, I even recently read somewhere that when they're casting extras and shit on TV, pretty much the only factor they look for is straight teeth. Not that anyone here aspires to be on TV, but it really sold me on just how important straight teeth are for setting a first-impress… | /r/askTRP | 09/03/21 07:12 PM |
| 45 | Feelings of Inadequacy due to SalaryIn fact, I've seen more guys who didn't have their shit together banging chicks like crazy, than those who do have their shit together. Just like he says, it's all about that "I don't give a fuck" attitude. If you're trying to "win women over" with "a good salary", then you're playing the game totally wrong. Your salary is about funding YOUR lifestyle. Your goal isn't to be "the provider", your goal should be to have an awesome fucking life, and women will naturally want to be including in your … | /r/askTRP | 08/03/21 04:36 PM |
| 1 | Was previously a beta-orbiter for a chick, lost contact about a year ago. She's now being hired at my company. Just act like nothing happened?Ah. Fair enough. I've definitely been guilty of that in the past, although fortunately a slightly more distant past, and not with this chick. | /r/askTRP | 02/03/21 11:05 PM |
| 1 | Was previously a beta-orbiter for a chick, lost contact about a year ago. She's now being hired at my company. Just act like nothing happened?Good call. You're totally right; thinking about it, I actually didn't even do anything too cringe-worthy, beyond adding her as a friend at some point. I've deleted all my social media at this point (besides reddit, I suppose), so there really shouldn't be any awkwardness. As usual, I'm just overthinking shit. That's always been my kryptonite. | /r/askTRP | 02/03/21 10:03 PM |
| 1 | Was previously a beta-orbiter for a chick, lost contact about a year ago. She's now being hired at my company. Just act like nothing happened?I guess in hindsight, nothing really. Message a couple of times? Thinking about it now... I'm definitely just overthinking it. | /r/askTRP | 02/03/21 10:01 PM |
| 2 | Was previously a beta-orbiter for a chick, lost contact about a year ago. She's now being hired at my company. Just act like nothing happened?I assume she's still hot, so not gonna lie. But I also know not to mess around with a coworker (particularly her, she just seems like the kind of woman who might "report you" just to create drama). So ignore her. That sounds like the best approach. | /r/askTRP | 02/03/21 08:49 PM |
| 2 | Ex/fling just died. Just feel "off".I'm honestly not sure yet. | /r/askTRP | 17/02/21 08:34 PM |
| 7 | Ex/fling just died. Just feel "off".Definitely not. I assume the father had custody, but all I know is she didn't have it. I think she felt like kind of a fuck-up, and she express at times wanting to get her shit together so she could spend more time with him. That part is definitely pretty tragic. | /r/askTRP | 17/02/21 08:33 PM |
| 2 | The 80/20 of Modern Game: Where to Focus Your Efforts to Get the Most ResultsDefinitely a lot of food for thought. Just chiming in with some random musings -- maybe it's useful or maybe it's not... At the risk of revealing a bit too much of myself, when I was younger, my sister and I had to help raise our cousins (their dad was in jail). They were very much like younger siblings, and my male cousin was hilarious. In a lot of ways, he took after me. Similar sense of humor. But where he differed, was he never worried about "looking dumb". He wasn't reserved, he didn't worr… | /r/TheRedPill | 04/02/21 03:12 PM |
| 9 | One trait that distinguishes alphas from betasThing is, people don't come to this sub because they're alpha; but because they're trying to become alpha. Society isn't particularly helpful to men today, or giving them the sorts of lessons they need. My dad wasn't the best father figure, and it's because he didn't have a father at all. So he did the best he could. I don't fault him for that, but it left me going through life without much in the way of confidence, not knowing how to handle myself in different situations. It's what eventually l… | /r/TheRedPill | 14/01/21 03:41 PM |
| 1 | Is it better to be level-headed and always keep your cool, or to be bold at the risk of being cocky or arrogant?Hmm, interesting take. I appreciate that! | /r/askTRP | 14/01/21 02:56 PM |
| 2 | Is it weird (in a bad way) or a "red flag" to be early-30's and NOT have a social media account?Appreciate the reply. I think I’ll probably go through with disabling the social media, but try and get in a habit of taking pictures of any cool shit I do or places I go. If I ever return to social media, at least I’ll have enough shit to post. Otherwise, I think it’s worth getting off everything, just to stop that false sense of fulfillment. | /r/askTRP | 08/01/21 06:44 PM |
| 1 | What music/playlists do you listen to, that help you feel like getting shit done?No worries, I actually appreciate the perspective. It's something I've wondered about, too. Now admittedly, I fucking love music (I've been getting back into playing regularly), and since my day job has me sitting at a desk staring at lines of code all day, not listening to music sounds like a slow, torturous death. But I think that's also a good point, too, being mindful of escapism. For me, video games are the worst outlet for that, as I spent years playing games, feeling like I'd actually ach… | /r/askTRP | 07/01/21 02:49 AM |
| 2 | Club "game"Much appreciated! I'll have to check that out after work, might make a point to start practicing tonight! | /r/TheRedPill | 10/12/20 04:02 PM |
| 2 | Friend suggests taking advantage of "momentum" while I have a date lined up... best method of that?Funny you say that, I honestly just ordered some skincare stuff a few days ago, and just arrived yesterday. It's definitely a learning-curve; I'm 32, I feel like a lot of this stuff I should've learned when I was younger, like "how much wax pomade to use" (in that regard, I miss having long hair; it was work to take care of, but didn't require a much fussing around with). I've used stitchfix in the past, which I was impressed with what I got, which was specifically for vacation. Good point on ma… | /r/askTRP | 10/12/20 04:01 PM |
| 6 | Club "game"Alright, question: I don't know how to dance. I've just... never really tried. I feel like I'd look super dumb or awkward (especially being a bigger guy). How did you learn to dance? How would you maybe suggest someone practice? | /r/TheRedPill | 10/12/20 03:06 PM |
| 1 | Going through some stuff right now, kind of feel like relapsing into beta behavior.Thanks, I appreciate it. Kinda feel like I've been struggling to hold it all together lately, so just trying to take it one step at a time. | /r/askTRP | 24/11/20 05:55 PM |
| 1 | Going through some stuff right now, kind of feel like relapsing into beta behavior.Honestly, I appreciate this comment, and I think this is the route I'm going to try and choose to take. Life moves a million miles an hour, there's no point "taking things slow". It can all change in an instant. | /r/askTRP | 23/11/20 03:58 PM |
| 2 | Going through some stuff right now, kind of feel like relapsing into beta behavior.Honestly, feeling a bit less overwhelmed today than yesterday. But I suppose I didn't explain what was going through my mind very well, either. Basically, I was thinking a lot like "maybe I should call this girl and just ask to meet for coffee, just to take my mind off things a bit". Which is maybe not super productive, but it's the route I wound up going anyways. Not really looking to "vent" or "offload" on anyone, I honestly just feel like I need a distraction. | /r/askTRP | 23/11/20 03:56 PM |
| 1 | Positive and beaming or cold “alpha”I don't think this is "situational" or "one is better than the other", so much as I think it's "which one feels more true to you/your frame". For myself, I'm honestly kind of an ugly guy, and I've been told I'm actually fairly intimidating (and not in a good way; I get the feeling I must look like some kind of "creep"). As such, I've found I feel better and have better luck with people (women and otherwise) when I allow myself to be a little more care-free and joking around. There's obviously an… | /r/askTRP | 21/11/20 03:38 PM |
| 2 | How to stop caring so much about meaningless things and being so hard on myself?What you're experience is what's commonly called FOMO ("Fear Of Missing Out"), and is a very easily-exploited thing. Get that shit out of your head; what's done is done. What you can do is learn from it. Did you have a good time with your other friends? If so, then you've got nothing to complain about. If not, well, just learn your preferences. A coworker and I talked about this exact sort of thing a lot, learning "the power of saying No". Don't let yourself get roped into making plans you don't… | /r/askTRP | 02/11/20 02:28 PM |
| 1 | How do I become obsessed with success and start doing what I need to do to move my life forward?This is definitely something I've struggled with. I suppose what I'm finding is that I'm needing to adjust my thinking: I've always been a "keep your head down and work hard" kind of guy. I can tell you, that won't make you happy. And so when I'm planning "goals" to work towards, I pick things that "sound good on paper", but because none of those things excite me, I wind up losing steam. You know does make me feel kind of excited? Something absurd, like "getting good enough at guitar to play in … | /r/askTRP | 02/11/20 02:16 PM |
| 1 | Why do Red Pill Content Creators appear so shady?The problem is that everyone knows there IS a problem, particularly for young men, but it's also easily exploited. Which, exploiting people doesn't inherently invalidate the advice they might give, but it makes it harder to determine what's legitimate help, and what "advice" might be serving to "sell" their credibility to their audience. Honestly, all you can do is say "Okay, these guys are clearly all trying to make a living off of this. So let me evaluate their advice with that in mind, and de… | /r/askTRP | 22/10/20 04:48 PM |
| 1 | I think my friend may be trying to stifle me at work, to make himself look better, and I have no idea how to handle thisI literally had that exact same conversation, almost word-for-word, last year. He seemed to agree and support the idea, but literally made zero change to his actions. | /r/askTRP | 22/10/20 04:28 PM |
| 3 | Do you think men are pining for women more now than ever before, because we aren't forming the male bonds necessary for fulfillment?Hey, really appreciate this post. Definitely a lot to learn from. I'm incredibly fortunate as, in the past 2-3 years I've found two incredibly good friends. I think where this has been such a positive influence is that, as you kind of allude to, it's not just "bitching and whining" about stuff, but we also actively encourage each other. When my buddy got laid-off recently, I was actively contacting every person I could trying to get him a job (he got one, though not through me), and when I recen… | /r/TheRedPill | 20/10/20 02:52 PM |
| 1 | Do you think men are pining for women more now than ever before, because we aren't forming the male bonds necessary for fulfillment?I honestly wish I had time to reply to all of these comments (maybe I will over time), but this one definitely rings very true! Definitely something I'll be thinking over, as well. | /r/TheRedPill | 20/10/20 02:38 PM |
| 2 | Do you think men are pining for women more now than ever before, because we aren't forming the male bonds necessary for fulfillment?I doubt I have time to reply to all the comments, but I just saw this one, and definitely going to be chewing it over. You may be right. I suppose, just hearing how many men my age all seem to struggle with, putting it bluntly, "feeling alone", I have to think there's more to it than just "they aren't masculine enough". I think there are a lot of great comments that have touched on other influences, too, like not having a "ritual" for "a boy to become a man". But I also think that as we become m… | /r/TheRedPill | 20/10/20 02:00 PM |
| 1 | Does she just want me as an orbiter, or is she actually interested in me?Honestly, just my take, but it sounds like she's interested but doesn't really know what she's doing. Like... she might actually be inexperienced in how to play the game. I'd say, your best bet is to plan something like having her over one night to watch a movie, and just see where it goes. Remember; it's your job to put in the work to escalate, a chick is never going to make a move on you. Just my two cents. | /r/askTRP | 09/10/20 03:13 PM |
| 3 | Are some guys really arrogant because they've gone way too long without someone putting them in check?I used to think "some people are just assholes" or "nobody has checked them", but as I've gotten older, I think most asshole behavior is usually driven by insecurities. "Little-man syndrome", but it can apply to all kinds of things. If someone is afraid of being taken seriously, they're act overly serious. Or in this guy's case, maybe he knows he isn't hot shit, so he acts like he is, hoping to convince everyone else he is, so they don't see the flaws her perceives in himself. That doesn't neces… | /r/askTRP | 06/10/20 06:16 PM |
| 2 | Is there a new wave of RP guys on here who are taking things a bit differently?I think a lot of the thing is, TRP clearly resonates with guys, A) because it rings true and B) because those who really put this stuff to use see results. So guys flock here because they see is as "the font of knowledge", without being fully committed to the idea that at its core, TRP is about accepting personal responsibility. Honestly, it's clear that our society is failing men (especially young men), but they've been conditioned to look for parties to blame, instead of saying "just because i… | /r/askTRP | 30/07/20 05:47 PM |
| 2 | Women Will Only Be Attracted For A Brief Window: Strike While The Iron Is HotOh, I definitely won't see her again. Still, it's good to have a bit of an idea how to handle it, should I ever find myself in a similar situation ever again. I don't "think on my feet" very well when it comes to this stuff. | /r/TheRedPill | 24/07/20 05:10 PM |
| 6 | Women Will Only Be Attracted For A Brief Window: Strike While The Iron Is HotSo, this literally happened just this morning, and I've been wondering what I should've done (if anything?). Just a short interaction; I get on the elevator, I see someone else is coming, so I hold it open. Winds up being a pretty attractive girl (far as I can tell, anyways, with us both wearing masks). She strikes up conversation immediately, asking "what's open" on the floor I'm going to (which I tell her is work), and I ask her the same, and she says "doctor's office for allergies". The eleva… | /r/TheRedPill | 24/07/20 04:45 PM |
| 1 | Brutally Effective Strategy For Dealing With Guys Who Try To Steal Your GirlSo, this reminds me of a situation that happened to me a couple of years ago at a party, and it still haunts me to this day, never quit being sure how I should've reacted. I was talking to these two girls (twins), and I think one other person. A guy walks up next to me, and is clearly trying to peak around me to talk to the girl closest to me; it looks like they know each other, so I kind of step back a bit, to welcome him into the "circle" we'd kind of formed. But when I do that, he just steps … | /r/TheRedPill | 23/07/20 03:38 PM |
| 5 | BP gets laid too?Real talk; how good-looking is the dude? I have a friend who also always recommends some cringe-y bullshit advice, but it always works for him, because he's in ridiculous shape, and manages to make it work. I've literally heard him tell a waitress before we even order "I'm sorry, I just wanted to say you have the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen", and she melted, basically spending the rest of our meal trying to bone him. I've always heard the phrase "the exception proves the rule", which neve… | /r/askTRP | 21/07/20 02:26 PM |
| 4 | Why the fuck are American women so hot? (Compared to the UK)I've spent quite a bit of time on both sides of the pond, so I feel uniquely qualified to chime in on this, because I've noticed and thought a lot about this. The US definitely, without a doubt, have more 8-10's. However, we also have a LOT more 1-4's. A lot of it is simply down to our culture; in the States, if you don't make a conscious effort to work out, then chances are, you get zero physical activity every day. It's something lost on people from most of the world, but in most of the US, a … | /r/askTRP | 17/07/20 09:43 PM |
| 7 | Relationship Advice Post Analysis: "I (24M) accidentally overheard my gf (24F) acknowledge that her ex is more physically attractive than me, and it's killing me inside"Real talk? I'm 32, never been in a relationship, and dread some shit like this happening to me. Even knowing I act very "blue pill", I find myself spinning in that same loop, and I really don't know how to change my mentality. Like the guy mentioned in this post, I fear that at best I wind up as "the nice guy" that a women settles for, instead of being truly desirable. Hell, I can't even wrap my mind around the idea of being "independently happy", I always have this nagging feeling that "man, I … | /r/TheRedPill | 30/06/20 09:52 PM |
| 1 | My Mom is Cheating on My Dad...I would probably tell your mom you know, and tell her you're going to tell your dad if she doesn't. Give her like a week, tops. Just my two cents. It's a shitty situation, and there's obviously a ton of variables (how old OP is, relationship with each parent, etc), but I would honestly probably say this is about the best scenario. | /r/askTRP | 26/06/20 07:09 PM |
| 1 | Read This and You’ll Never Struggle To Lose Weight AgainJust wanted to say, I *REALLY appreciate you taking the time to type all this out. I've literally printed out this entire post and intend to stick it on my fridge when I get home to keep handy. | /r/TheRedPill | 25/06/20 04:20 PM |
| 1 | Any older red-pillers ever gone through a bit of an identity crisis?Something to consider... I don't have anything going on tomorrow. I'll at least take an hour to spend on youtube guides for playing guitar. I'm trying to at least commit 30 minutes a day to playing, but I keep hoping for "inspiration" to strike and it hasn't. Like you say, I probably need more discipline than anything else. | /r/askTRP | 20/06/20 04:24 AM |
| 1 | Any older red-pillers ever gone through a bit of an identity crisis?Listen mostly, though I play a little guitar. I feel like I plateaued at a fairly early stage (I can play a few tunes, enough to 'trick' someone to think I could play, but not really). Thing is, I can't seem to find the motivation to dig in and get better. In all honesty, I think my interest in music is largely spurred by wanting other people to think I'm cooler or more interesting than I maybe actually am. I kind of wish I could play better, and maybe had the skill and courage to sing too, but … | /r/askTRP | 20/06/20 03:59 AM |
| 1 | Any older red-pillers ever gone through a bit of an identity crisis?Good question, honestly. To be frank, I don't think I've ever felt "passionate" about anything in my life before. Closest things would probably either be video-games, or music. "Purpose" is also a little up-in-the-air right now; I've been questioning whether to just pack my shit up and live "off the grid" a bit more, or whether to actually try and get involved in politics more (again). The world feels like it's gone completely insane the past few months, and it's weighed on my mind a lot. | /r/askTRP | 20/06/20 03:31 AM |
| 1 | Where do you actually meet women as an adult?Fair point. I probably needed to hear that. | /r/askTRP | 01/06/20 04:19 PM |
| 1 | Where do you actually meet women as an adult?Good on you, man! | /r/askTRP | 01/06/20 04:19 PM |
| 1 | Where do you actually meet women as an adult?They're married, and have kids. I'm their escape most of the time. Only hobbies either of them have are one plays basketball pretty regularly (in leagues, so there's no chance in hell I could join), and the other does skydiving (and spends a ridiculous amount of money doing so, although I do intend to try to go at least once, after I lose more weight). The closest I came to meeting someone was about a month ago, one of my friends had a party and a woman went over, but she is basically just enter… | /r/askTRP | 01/06/20 02:14 AM |
| 1 | Where do you actually meet women as an adult?All probably sound advice, and I've been putting more effort into consistent workouts. But there's also no beating around the bush, I'm objectively just not attractive. Not by appearance, anyways; I think in-person is a completely different story. Once I can talk and joke around a bit, I think I win people over more that way. As far as hobbies go... I dunno. I've been trying to force myself to spend more time on my guitar, but I have a hard time justifying trying to get into any new hobbies when… | /r/askTRP | 31/05/20 09:25 PM |
| 1 | Where do you actually meet women as an adult?Well, at the moment, "not really". But even before all the craziness going on, my day-to-day life is just "go to work, come home". I'll usually run my errands on Sunday, which generally just consists of a quick trip to the grocery store. Which, I'll be the first to admit, sounds like a pretty sad life. Trouble is, I don't have any reason to go anywhere. There aren't really any "hang-out spots" near me, so unless I'm looking to spend money (which I'm not), there's not really anywhere to go or any… | /r/askTRP | 31/05/20 09:21 PM |
| 1 | Where do you actually meet women as an adult?More like... I don't really enjoy living in a city, which I currently do because of my job. For me, a great time is just getting together with friends around a fire, or even getting together period, playing games or just chatting the night away. To me, an awesome time is just chilling at home with someone, cracking jokes all night, maybe watch something interesting or just talk. It feels like there's this expectation that it's your job to entertain everyone. I dunno. It's not that I don't "get i… | /r/askTRP | 31/05/20 09:16 PM |
| 2 | How do you tell a girl a fling is over without being a dick about it? No ghosting allowed eitherMaybe something along the lines of "This has been great, I've enjoyed our time together. I think we're both looking for different thing, so it's probably time to move on, but let's keep in touch." (even the closest friends have trouble keeping in touch, so you're not actually committing to anything here) Just my two cents. | /r/askTRP | 30/05/20 03:47 PM |
| 1 | What is your (non-Covid) relationship to the weekend?Avoiding screens seems easier said than done; if I'm not on a computer, watching TV, or playing a video game... I honestly don't know what I'd be doing. Still, I think you're right in that it's good advice. I probably just need to come up with a hobby that doesn't involve screens. What would you say, maybe set an alarm for "no more computer screens" at like 8pm? Might try spending more time on my guitar in the meantime... | /r/askTRP | 26/05/20 05:51 PM |
| 1 | What is your (non-Covid) relationship to the weekend?Good advice. I've been working out, but not consistently. I literally have a power-rack in place of a dining room in my apartment, I need to commit to a more strict regiment. You're absolutely right, though; I always sleep better when I'm physically worn out. The lack of activity is probably wrecking my sleep (and health in general). | /r/askTRP | 26/05/20 05:49 PM |
| 1 | What is your (non-Covid) relationship to the weekend?Yeah, I'm definitely not working out enough (I need to have a more consistent regiment), and honestly my diet is shit. I've been trying to force myself to get into cooking (even doing one of those subscriptions where they send you most of the ingredients), but I still just kind of hate it (in fairness, last time I cooked, I misread the directions and literally ruined all of my food, so that was pretty deflating). Probably a good idea on breaking up housework into multiple days. It's just one of … | /r/askTRP | 26/05/20 05:47 PM |
| 1 | What is your (non-Covid) relationship to the weekend?That's actually a really good idea. I'm going to give this a try! Thanks! | /r/askTRP | 26/05/20 05:42 PM |
| 1 | What is your (non-Covid) relationship to the weekend?Decent money, but still getting out of debt. I hope to be mostly debt-free next month (everything but my car paid off), and hopefully have the car paid off by the end of the year. There's no way I could possibly justify a maid for my little one-bedroom apartment. I have thought about one of those grocery-delivery services, but then it's also one of the few non-work-related outings I have every week, so it's probably good for me. Still... it's a thought. It would be nice being able to have zero r… | /r/askTRP | 26/05/20 05:42 PM |
| 1 | Would you guys consider "cooking" to be an essential skill that every man needs to know?I guess in my mind, any time I think about cooking, I just think about how much time is involved with basically nothing to show for it. I have to read up on the recipe beforehand, make sure I have all the ingredients, make sure I have all the tools needed (I just got my own place a few months ago, so I have bare minimum cooking stuff), then I make to go through the process of cooking the thing, praying I don't burn it or that it actually tastes alright, and then I have to go through the cleaning… | /r/askTRP | 12/05/20 06:22 PM |
| 2 | Do the work. You won't believe how good it feels when it starts paying off.....fair point. I tend to type how I talk, but I can see I maybe go overboard with it! | /r/TheRedPill | 08/04/20 10:53 PM |
| 2 | Do the work. You won't believe how good it feels when it starts paying off.Never claimed I'm any sort of "master". Far from it. She definitely seemed to be considering the other guy earlier on in the night, but at some point, just seemed to "pick me", from grinding to making out. We'd have probably fucked if my friend (where the party was at) had actually given us some space. We laid on the couch together, but by the time my friend finally went to bed, she was asleep (I probably should have just told him to give us some space, my fuck up). Even though nothing is going … | /r/TheRedPill | 08/04/20 08:15 PM |
| 8 | Do the work. You won't believe how good it feels when it starts paying off.Absolutely. I'm still nowhere near the man I want to be. But rather, it's the first I actually feel like "You know what? I actually can be 'that guy'. I just need to double-down and work even harder". | /r/TheRedPill | 08/04/20 07:43 PM |
| 6 | Do the work. You won't believe how good it feels when it starts paying off.Unfortunately not; the party was at my friend's house, and he sort of cock-blocked me. We were laying on the couch (because there was noplace for us to go) while my buddy was watching... some fucking documentary. By the time it was over, she was asleep (we were all pretty drunk). We at least made-out. I made the fatal mistake of not getting her number. She did, however, ask for mine that night. I've made peace that nothing's going to come of it. But for me, that was a major break-through. I feel… | /r/TheRedPill | 08/04/20 07:41 PM |
| 4 | Do the work. You won't believe how good it feels when it starts paying off.Honestly, he was going super overboard in all honesty. Just openly saying how much he wanted to fuck her and eat her out. She didn't necessarily seem offended by any of it, but I think he kind of did me more favors by being such a try-hard. I definitely made it known I wanted her, but just kept a more cool head. In fairness, I had quite a few drinks, and had a pretty rare night of being completely on-point with my jokes, also flirting pretty well (ie. when she mentioned she had a Tesla, I respon… | /r/TheRedPill | 08/04/20 07:36 PM |
| 21 | Do the work. You won't believe how good it feels when it starts paying off.Honestly, you don't even have to trust the process; you just have to do it. Even if you don't "feel" any different, just stick with it. | /r/TheRedPill | 08/04/20 07:06 PM |
| 1 | I had a great night this weekend, but second-guessing if (or when) I might have fucked up?That is absolutely true, in absolutely ever facet of my life. I just have a hard time not overthinking things. Especially now that I'm working from home, what with everything going on. Completely irrelevant of this situation, I'd honestly appreciate any advice anyone here has on this. | /r/askTRP | 06/04/20 09:20 PM |
| 1 | How do you choose what "look" you're aspiring to?Well, the tattoo-sleeve I've been wanting for 3-4 years now. I'm specifically trying to book with the guy who did this: https://i.pinimg.com/originals/c2/28/18/c228188e62e5b8621abede5a51192898.jpg Still, a lot of good advice here. I feel like I almost need someone to "pick these things for me". I don't dress poorly, by any means, but I think I dress sort of "safe". Any time I think about buying something that looks "cool", I immediately thing "is this going to make me look like I'm trying to be … | /r/askTRP | 18/03/20 01:56 PM |
| 1 | Can you (or SHOULD you) be friends with a woman you want to sleep with?I mean, she got a restraining order against me, he was found impersonating her trying to get her fired, showed up to her work causing a scene, and even stalked me. I guess he was convinced she was fucking me, which is funny because I've never even met him, prior to seeing him right by my house (took a picture of him there, was submitting as evidence during the hearing). Not saying I'm not in "orbiter" territory, but her ex was completely unhinged. Like, he was getting violent and increasingly cr… | /r/askTRP | 17/03/20 05:54 PM |
| 1 | Can you (or SHOULD you) be friends with a woman you want to sleep with?This seems like sound advice. Would you say, next time we're out, I should just consider more cold approaches towards other women? I'm pretty good about striking up conversations with complete strangers once I've had a couple of drinks, so may ought to use that to my advantage more. And I'm not even worrying about "plating" this woman. I think that would definitely send me down the wrong path. Like I said, I'm honestly happy just having someone who regularly wants to go out. | /r/askTRP | 16/03/20 12:16 PM |
| 1 | Went out solo last night. I hate the person I've become.I feel like any time I drink, I fall into that weird "being nice to people" loop the OP mentions. Like... last week, I have some friends go bar-hopping with me on my birthday, and I wound up just hanging out with and talking to bouncers or bartenders. I had a good time, but... I dunno. I felt like I just sort of "played it safe". Like I didn't even make an effort to approach any women (which in fairness, I don't recall even seeing any that were attractive, but still). | /r/askTRP | 08/03/20 07:54 PM |
| 1 | Thinking about launching "the nuclear option" to set up a date with this girl; yay or nay?Forgot to reply to this, but definitely the feedback I needed to hear. | /r/askTRP | 06/03/20 02:03 PM |
| 1 | Thinking about launching "the nuclear option" to set up a date with this girl; yay or nay?Yeah, I sort of wondered the same thing. If she "walked in on him cheating", it clearly wasn't as her place. Way too many chicks try to make it work (hell, it could be argued that it raised his SMV in her eyes). | /r/askTRP | 05/03/20 06:15 PM |
| 1 | Thinking about launching "the nuclear option" to set up a date with this girl; yay or nay?Good point. | /r/askTRP | 05/03/20 06:14 PM |
| -1 | Thinking about launching "the nuclear option" to set up a date with this girl; yay or nay?Oh for sure, I have no expectation of seeing her again. Just wondering if that's the best play, in case it could lead anywhere. Or maybe I just wait a few weeks, text if she likes the new job, then see about dropping by? That might be a little more organic, and if we had drinks after her shift, maybe it would lead somewhere. I dunno. Not a big deal either way, I suppose. | /r/askTRP | 05/03/20 05:31 PM |
| 6 | Thinking about launching "the nuclear option" to set up a date with this girl; yay or nay?Fair enough. I appreciate the input. | /r/askTRP | 05/03/20 05:28 PM |
| 1 | Thinking about launching "the nuclear option" to set up a date with this girl; yay or nay?I dunno; I've certainly been guilty of that before. I don't feel like that's the case here. More that, well, the chick is really cute, and we seemed to hit it off well (at least in-person). It's no problem is the general consensus is "she's not interested, just move on". But I want to make sure I'm not giving up too soon, either (which is something I've been guilty of in the past). | /r/askTRP | 05/03/20 05:22 PM |
| 77 | Q4RP: Has the dating market changed in the past decade? Is it easier / harder to get laid / relationships? Does game work the same as 10 years ago? How have you needed to adapt? Are the returns better or worse?I used to think similarly. Now, though, I'm starting to feel like we might actually be in a sort of "golden age" for men who put in the work. For the extremely beautiful women, who are instagram models and whatnot, there's probably way too many men competing for their attention. If you stop and look around, though, there are a lot of good-looking women running around. And we live in an age where people are becoming increasingly isolated. This is especially true of men; how many articles have we … | /r/TheRedPill | 27/02/20 03:24 PM |
| 1 | Does therapy work? If anyone been to therapist, did it really help you?Absolutely. I'm still not totally where I want to be, and I only had a few sessions last year, but it made a world of difference. You definitely have to kind of "shop around" for the right therapist or psychologist (not a psychiatrist; at least not initially, unless a psychologist tells you they think you may need medication). But it's absolutely worth it. A post, somewhere here on reddit, is what convinced me to finally seek one out. Some poster described it as "mental maintenance", just like t… | /r/askTRP | 27/02/20 03:09 PM |
| 4 | Why do women let their son become betas when they themselves hate betas?This is only my own theory. My take is that women genuinely want to be romantic. They want to be the kind of woman that chooses "the nice guy", who chooses "love" over "attraction". And I think women think that's actually how the world is. I mean... think about it; isn't that why women are so ashamed to admit they're driven by sex? Sure, they're afraid of being labelled "slutty". But taken further, that implies they sort of think other women must be driven by those romantic interests. So they tr… | /r/askTRP | 04/02/20 02:18 PM |
| 1 | Is there any way to approach friends about being overly negative/critical, or do you just have to suck it up or find new friends?Gotcha... much appreciated (again). I think I just tend to obsess over my mistakes as it is, it felt like these guys were just piling on. | /r/askTRP | 03/02/20 04:10 AM |
| 1 | Next weekend, I'm going to go to a bar I've never been to, totally by myself. Advice for not just sitting in a corner and drinking alone?I appreciate the blunt honesty. Was definitely in a bad place lastnight... but then, been in kind of a bad spot for a while now. I've been working out, and just got back on keto last week. That's probably affecting my mood more than I realize. A big thing for me is definitely feeling a lot of shame about my appearance. I try to dress nice and whatnot, but at the end of the day, we all know it isn't fooling anyone. I think that's why my confidence falls apart the moment I have any sort of interes… | /r/askTRP | 27/01/20 02:35 AM |
| 1 | Supposed to be going out tonight. Instead, I am HAVING a panic attack. And losing any confidence I once had.Well, I went out. Got there, and... wound up feeling even shittier. The sister I hadn't met basically said hi and walked out for a smoke, the sister I had met was dancing with some dude. I grabbed a drink, basically just stood by myself drinking for about 15 minutes, then decided fuck it, I feel even worse now, so I just left. I wish I could say it made me feel more motivated to change. Instead, I just feel like "I'm so far removed from the kind of guy that has any idea what the fuck he's doing,… | /r/askTRP | 18/01/20 05:22 AM |
| 15 | Supposed to be going out tonight. Instead, I am HAVING a panic attack. And losing any confidence I once had.Hah... that actually makes me feel better. | /r/askTRP | 18/01/20 01:51 AM |
| 1 | Tried putting together a "guys' poker night", all but one bailed. Any advice for building a network of guys, or even just "dudes to hang out with"?Well, my goal was to make this a monthly thing. But still, good advice all the same. | /r/askTRP | 16/01/20 03:05 AM |
| 1 | Tried putting together a "guys' poker night", all but one bailed. Any advice for building a network of guys, or even just "dudes to hang out with"?Hey, thanks! I'll check that out today. | /r/askTRP | 15/01/20 04:44 PM |
| 2 | Tried putting together a "guys' poker night", all but one bailed. Any advice for building a network of guys, or even just "dudes to hang out with"?Good point! Thanks for the replies, too. Good to have a more objective perspective on this stuff! | /r/askTRP | 15/01/20 04:29 PM |
| 1 | Tried putting together a "guys' poker night", all but one bailed. Any advice for building a network of guys, or even just "dudes to hang out with"?Hmm, good points. I feel like for a camping trip, you'd want to invite actual friends, as opposed to this poker night, it was mostly just "guys I know". I know at least one guy who would be down for camping, though, so maybe that's a good jumping-off point? Like "Me and <guy> are camping and fishing next week, who else is in?" | /r/askTRP | 15/01/20 04:28 PM |
| 2 | Tried putting together a "guys' poker night", all but one bailed. Any advice for building a network of guys, or even just "dudes to hang out with"?That, that last point hits on something I feel like there's something to. In the past, I've had similar problems (ie. last year, with totally different guys, I'd planned a "Mortal Kombat tournament" at my new place; a bit nerdy, but I thought it would've been fun). Same deal, everyone just kind of bails. Actually, thinking about it... about three years ago, I same the exact same problem when scheduling a paintball group. Hmm... I wonder if I'm just not "fun"? There may be something to that, mayb… | /r/askTRP | 15/01/20 04:25 PM |
| 1 | Tried putting together a "guys' poker night", all but one bailed. Any advice for building a network of guys, or even just "dudes to hang out with"?I appreciate the advice, and also the suggestions! I suppose part of the problem is I don't have many close friends. Used to be three, but really just two now, one of whom lives halfway across the country (plus he's broke, so travel for him is pretty limited/nonexistent). Still, I'll put some more thought into it. Don't suppose you'd have any advice for making friends, by any chance? | /r/askTRP | 15/01/20 04:03 PM |
| 6 | Tried putting together a "guys' poker night", all but one bailed. Any advice for building a network of guys, or even just "dudes to hang out with"?True, and it is mostly 35+ guys. That's why I'd hoped a Wednesday would be good. None of them really mentioned why they were backing out, so I wasn't sure if to treat it as "no harm, no foul" and just continue trying to establish a monthly poker-night, or whether that's just kind of a wasted effort? | /r/askTRP | 15/01/20 03:41 PM |
| 2 | When you're a homless man no one gives a FUCK about youIt sucks. I know; about five years ago now, I was homeless. Maybe a better position, because I still owned a truck, and my own mental issues were more just confidence issues (my dad and I got evicted because he was out of work, and then my cousins fired me because they're assholes). I suppose even "being homeless" is a pretty vague term, because I suspect my experiences were different than yours; I never lived in a shelter, but the I lived in a warm enough climate I could get by sleeping in my t… | /r/TheRedPill | 10/01/20 04:22 PM |
| 1 | What are some examples of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone? Particularly for more "beta" dudes, like myself?Good point. I just have a hard time not getting down on myself, or thinking "I'm not worth the effort". It feels like I'm "missing something", that everyone else seems to innately have or understand. | /r/askTRP | 06/01/20 07:55 PM |
| 1 | Real talk; where is the line between being "masculine" and "looking like a bum"?Hmm, I guess I'm still trying to figure what my "frame" even is. Or at least, is going to be, since I still have a lot of self-improvement to be done. | /r/askTRP | 06/01/20 07:51 PM |
| 1 | What are some examples of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone? Particularly for more "beta" dudes, like myself?Fair enough. I'll give it some thought today, but I will approach at least three women by the end of the week. And thanks again for the advice. I tend to beat myself up, and this sub isn't shy about doing the same, so getting the odd voice of encouragement is really helpful. | /r/askTRP | 06/01/20 07:33 PM |
| 1 | What are some examples of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone? Particularly for more "beta" dudes, like myself?I've already moved across the country once, which is where I'm at now. It helped with some things, but definitely not with everything. I do feel more confident as a person, but when it comes to women, I always revert to feeling... I dunno. Shitty about myself, I guess. | /r/askTRP | 06/01/20 03:35 PM |
| 1 | What are some examples of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone? Particularly for more "beta" dudes, like myself?Fair enough. I did see a psychologist briefly last year, and it did make a positive difference. It's just ridiculously expensive, and juggling my finances has been difficult since having to get my own place. But I hear you, I'm responsible for pulling myself out of this rut. | /r/askTRP | 06/01/20 03:33 PM |
| 1 | What are some examples of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone? Particularly for more "beta" dudes, like myself?I appreciate the reply, man! Approaching three women a day might be difficult (if only because I work in an office and rarely even see three women who aren't married coworkers), but I think approaching three women a week is... well, still difficult, but at least feasible. What might you consider good places to go? I'm very much a homebody by nature, so I rarely go out unless it's with a specific goal (ie. buying groceries, meeting friends, buying some specific thing that I need). Are there place… | /r/askTRP | 06/01/20 03:31 PM |
| 2 | What are some examples of pushing yourself out of your comfort zone? Particularly for more "beta" dudes, like myself?Not that you're wrong, but "doing the work" is just too vague a statement to me. What is "the work"? Working out and eating healthier? Yes, working on both of those. But are those two things going to fix all of my issues? Well, probably not. I wonder sometimes if I just never learned this basic stuff because of having s pretty fucked up upbringing. I got pulled out of school to be "home schooled" when I was still a child, didn't really have a male role model, and was raised in a house of basical… | /r/askTRP | 06/01/20 01:48 AM |
| 2 | What would be some legitimate vacation destinations, for the guy just looking to get laid and sorely lacking experience/confidence?Living in DC. I'd like to keep costs at like $2k or less, total... | /r/askTRP | 27/12/19 09:45 PM |
| 1 | I'm 27, single, and about to make $170k at a remote job. Where should I move in the US?Well, just throwing this out there; Tallahassee is generally kind of a shitty small town, but thanks to FSU, there are always gorgeous girls to be found. Especially at places near the college. I could see a single guy making good money doing pretty well in the area, since it's not a very expensive area. I say that as someone visiting, who used to live there, but now live in DC. I'm doing "okay" for someone in DC, but I could live like a king in Tallahassee, and there are quite a lot of FSU girls… | /r/askTRP | 27/12/19 09:37 PM |
| 2 | Are your married friends happy?To be quite frank? The only married couple I think is happy, is my dad and stepmom. They're both quite a bit older, though (he's 60 or 61, she's early 50's I think). Every other couple I know, though, seems to be unraveling. For various reasons -- one couple is getting divorces because it looks like the hubby may be guy, another the woman is a cokehead and we suspect has been cheating on it -- but it all sort of seems to me that, when marriage becomes an obligation, I feel like it starts to caus… | /r/askTRP | 20/12/19 03:04 PM |
| 1 | If you were going to try and host a gathering of men... how would you do it?Good point. I did, though, hammer in "this is a guys' night thing I'm looking to do". Not even really a "party", just a get-together amongst guys I have a lot of respect for. | /r/askTRP | 18/12/19 01:07 PM |
| 1 | If you were going to try and host a gathering of men... how would you do it?Yeah, that's what I'm hoping. If five guys show up, that's $100, not exactly a ton of money, so hopefully the guy who's really good will kind of chill out and have a good time, maybe even offer pointers. My hope is really just to create an atmosphere we can all just "be men", whatever that means for each of us. Talk about shit that affects us, build each other up, and maybe even eventually build a sort of network of men that are all interested in helping lift ourselves up. | /r/askTRP | 16/12/19 06:16 PM |
| 1 | [Just a thought] Maybe "feminism" isn't a problem at all. Maybe it's a sexual revolution that not enough of us are in positions to take advantage ofHmm, maybe. I've always made an effort to be humble (that's something my dad always pushed, to never be "cocky"), but I think you're right, I have a habit of selling myself short and just accepting "how I am". But you're right, I am absolutely capable of putting in the hard work to achieve success. ...honestly, this is exactly why I love this sub, and think it's so important for guys. No "feel-good" bullshit, you just say it how it is. I need to do better. And I can do better. So that's on me. | /r/askTRP | 16/12/19 05:48 PM |
| 1 | If you were going to try and host a gathering of men... how would you do it?Thanks, I appreciate that! | /r/askTRP | 16/12/19 05:46 PM |
| 1 | How do you have confidence, when you straight-up HATE your appearance?I'm still not sure I'll ever tan, but I appreciate the reply. You're right, I can still do worlds better than where I'm currently at. Hell, I went to a BJJ class last Thursday, and I could still barely walk lastnight before bed. So there's a lot of room for improvement. Like I said (either here, or another post), I'm still needing to overcome a lot of my "beta" tendencies. One of which is having a defeatist attitude. I appreciate guys like you, who keep me in line and remind me, I can still do b… | /r/askTRP | 16/12/19 05:40 PM |
| 3 | You cannot fully appreciate something unless you seek to discover it yourselfHmm, that's very insightful. I really appreciate your reply! I'm going down to visit family this weekend. It's a town I used to live, but now don't know anyone. Really, the perfect opportunity to get outside my comfort zone and make some moves. I'm going to make it a point to push myself during this trip and make moves. Worse case scenario, I look like an idiot in front of college girls I will literally never see again. | /r/TheRedPill | 16/12/19 05:16 PM |
| 3 | You cannot fully appreciate something unless you seek to discover it yourselfHonestly, this touches on something I've been reflecting on a lot the past few weeks. I haven't come to an answer yet, but definitely reflecting heavily on it. I know the resources exist, to help me with my problems. I know I need to stop eating bullshit food that puts be further from my goals. I know I need to invest in myself, and all of my relationships will improve from that. And yet, I keep falling back into old patterns. Patterns that "keep me down", instead of letting me flourish and find… | /r/TheRedPill | 16/12/19 04:58 PM |
| 1 | How do you have confidence, when you straight-up HATE your appearance?Honestly? Not really. It just makes my skin seem more "splotchy". My lower-arms look a bit more tan, and I'm fortunate that my face doesn't have a lot of freckles. Mostly just my arms and shoulders. | /r/askTRP | 16/12/19 04:54 PM |
| 1 | If you were going to try and host a gathering of men... how would you do it?Much appreciated! Especially the buy-in amount. It's something that had kind of been stressing me, and I didn't even think to post about it. I felt like $20-25 sounded right, but I also remember living paycheck-to-paycheck, and didn't want anything that would be uncomfortable. I know one guy showing up I think makes a living playing poker, so I fully expect everyone to lose their ass. But he also sounded like a cool dude in general, and really, my hope isn't just to "have fun", but actually star… | /r/askTRP | 16/12/19 04:52 PM |
| 2 | How do you have confidence, when you straight-up HATE your appearance?If he weren't known for making a living kicking peoples' asses, I'll be he would have a rough go of it. I feel like part of it is that... I actually do have a job, sitting behind a computer screen all day. I used to be a mechanic, and then a woodworker/carpenter, but I code up emails all day long now. And even though I used to have those more, what I would consider to be more "manly" skills... it's like now, when someone confuses me for an "IT guy", it's kind of hard to refute it. | /r/askTRP | 16/12/19 04:49 PM |
| 3 | How SHOULD I have handled this situation (or did I do okay)?That's... surprisingly insightful advice. I definitely need to stop second-guessing myself and expecting to fail with women. | /r/askTRP | 06/12/19 05:05 PM |
| -1 | How SHOULD I have handled this situation (or did I do okay)?Never even heard of Pook (so... no). I'm assuming I should, though? | /r/askTRP | 06/12/19 02:53 PM |
| 0 | How SHOULD I have handled this situation (or did I do okay)?Good advice. I'm not holding out any hope of hearing back, though. | /r/askTRP | 06/12/19 02:49 PM |
| 3 | How SHOULD I have handled this situation (or did I do okay)?Fair point on the business card thing. But yeah, definitely seeing now I screwed up a pretty awesome opportunity. | /r/askTRP | 06/12/19 02:49 PM |
| 0 | How SHOULD I have handled this situation (or did I do okay)?Yeah, I guess so. I've just never had any luck with directly asking someone out, before, so I guess I have a hard time building the confidence to do it. | /r/askTRP | 06/12/19 02:48 PM |
| -8 | Women skeptical on gender equality (1976) | RetroFocusThat's certainly a good point. I just think most of the women in the video come off as... well, more like abuse victims, than just "dating upwards". | /r/TheRedPill | 03/12/19 05:43 PM |
| -7 | Women skeptical on gender equality (1976) | RetroFocusI dunno; I "get" the point you guys are trying to make posting this here, but I still found the video incredibly sad. Like, I think women are happier being different from men, and having different roles. A lot of the women interviewed here, though, seemed to believe that they, as women, are lesser than men. I think that shit's pretty sad. That said, the last woman definitely made an interesting point. And really, we totally see that today; where women who want to stay at home, or be more conserv… | /r/TheRedPill | 03/12/19 03:34 PM |
| 1 | You think it's better to be "objectively more attractive", or just comfortable/happy with your "look"?I'd emphasize the more "more", in "objectively more attractive". I'm not attractive, but I think "pudgy, forgettable white guy" is probably a marked improvement over "heavy-set, long-haired ginger" (my hair seems more dirty-blonde when it's short). I was definitely told I looked a lot more imposing with the long hair, though. People at my work constantly teased me for looking like a viking, and I remember a woman running her fingers through and playing with my hair at a party, her friend suggest… | /r/askTRP | 17/10/19 07:51 PM |
| 3 | Going overboard, or legit good idea to convert my apartment to a "place of self-improvement"?Lemme throw a caveat your way: Another option is I could probably fit the power rack in my bedroom. It would basically be "power rack, and bed" for my bedroom, but it would leave the main "living room" area still looking "normal" enough for inviting someone back to my place. It just... might look sort of weird to go into the bedroom, and BAM! Power rack. | /r/askTRP | 19/09/19 05:27 PM |
| -1 | How to come off less "creepy" at work? Or am I doing something wrong?Cool, kind of what I was already thinking, just kinda "stay the course". Don't be overly friendly, just totally casual. | /r/askTRP | 22/08/19 09:12 PM |
| 1 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itFuck that. As far as I'm concerned, lying to someone's face is the biggest "bitch move" a man can make. I'm not the one who fucked up. And he made this my problem when he brought the woman to where I live, too, to fuck her. I'm not going to say anything. But fuck anyone who thinks that I'm the one with a fucking problem here. Yeah, I think cheating on your pregnant wife is supremely fucked up, but I'm not imposing my beliefs on anything else. | /r/TheRedPill | 02/07/19 01:27 PM |
| 2 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itKind of a long story, but I'll at least give you the cliffnotes version. Basically, they both (my friend and his wife) really helped me out a few years ago, and gave me a place to live rent-free while I got on my feet. I've since paid them back for all the months I lived there, and had moved out for a while. They then looked at buying a second house, but couldn't afford it on their own. Since they have trust issues (how fitting...), they asked if I'd be willing to help them out. I agreed, not on… | /r/TheRedPill | 02/07/19 01:24 PM |
| 1 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itNot at all. His wife is attractive, but I've got no interest in her (in all honesty, the more time I've spent around her, I actually don't think I even like her that much; she's super condescending and judgmental, borderline mean). But although we might not be friends, I've still come to consider her "family" in many ways. They both helped me out when I was in a really bad place (juggling three part-time jobs and taking care of my grandmother in my late-20's, was extremely suicidal). It's not my… | /r/TheRedPill | 02/07/19 01:19 PM |
| 1 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itNot even lying, that's the absolute truth. My post wasn't even meant to pass judgement on my friend, so much as highlight the fact "women know his situation, and simply choose to disregard all logic". For myself, it's a sobering reminder than while I might look good "on paper" (good job, pretty easy to get along with, generally a "good dude"), being "good enough" just isn't good enough. Whatever feelings I might have about the situation itself, it's clear evidence that I have a lot of work to do… | /r/TheRedPill | 02/07/19 01:12 PM |
| 0 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itThen I would say, don't get married, and don't try to have a kid? Because they'd been trying, she got pregnant but had a miscarriage last year. I dunno, "blue pill" or no, seems pretty shitty to me. But the real take-away here is that both women are clearly aware of his past and current tendencies. So they're more than happy to turn off their brains for this guy. In that respect alone, I think that's an important thing to acknowledge. | /r/TheRedPill | 02/07/19 01:08 PM |
| 2 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itYeah, I've definitely had some time (and sleep) to "cool down". I think a lot of it is being so disappointed in him, seeing how hard he's worked, and knowing he could lose everything if his wife finds out. And his situation does impact me quite significantly, because he's both my landlord and my supervisor at work (at a fairly prestigious fundraising organization). Shit could get ugly for both of us real quick. That said, I'm not going to be "playing along". I'm just keeping to myself, and looki… | /r/TheRedPill | 02/07/19 01:06 PM |
| 19 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itYeah, it just feels... I don't even know the word to use. "Trashy" probably works. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 03:02 PM |
| 1 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itFair enough. And yeah, I'm affected either way. At the end of the day, he's basically put me in shitty position of having to "pick" between them. Ultimately, I'm going to give him the space to do whatever he feels he has to do, I'm going to do my best not to interfere. It's not my responsibility to lie for him, though. He created this mess for himself; I'm not going to make it any worse for him, but I'm not going to betray my own values just because it's convenience, either. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 01:38 PM |
| 4 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itI dunno, man; this shit could go up in flames in a heartbeat. I already didn't like living with them anyways, but there is no way in hell I'm going to walk around, perpetuating some like for his benefit. He's the one that fucked up; it does impact me, but I'm certainly not going to be some spineless coward who's too afraid to do anything that "inconveniences" him. I'm not going to tell his wife -- I've already decided that much. But I am going to move out. Whether that means being forced to give… | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 01:36 PM |
| 4 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itFair point, that's honestly one of the lessons I'm taking to heart. That, no matter what positive qualities I might have "on paper", at the end of the day, women really only care about having a hyper masculine guy. Even if it means tolerating constant cheating. The situation itself is super shitty, but that one lesson is something I could learn from. To be a little more "don't give a fuck". | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 01:30 PM |
| 1 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itWell, he also makes a shit-ton of money, owns two properties (well, him and his wife together), and has a fairly prestigious position. And while he may have had some genetic advantages (his father, while a shitty human being, was apparently an actual genius), he basically built himself up from nothing. Well, for the most part; I think his wife kind of "took care of him" when they first started dating, just because he had so much student debt. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 01:28 PM |
| 1 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itI've been living with them, off and on, for about four years. They're about the closest thing to "family" I have (his daughter, a teenager now, feels like my own niece). This puts me in a very, very shitty position. I basically don't have any choice but to cut the wife out of my life entirely. That is, unless he decides to tell her. Not holding my breath on that one, though. So... I just need to get myself taken care of first, and let whatever happens, happen. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 01:25 PM |
| 3 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itTrue. But for me to pretend "everything's just like normal" would be the most spineless thing I could possible do. I'm not going to do anything to try and ruin my friend's life. But I am not going to be put into a position where I have to lie to his wife on his behalf or his benefit. That's why I'm scrambling to find a new place to live, and just cut all ties with the wife. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 01:22 PM |
| 1 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itI suppose, yeah, I didn't do much to convey the qualities that make my friend kind of the stereotypical "alpha". He's very self-assured, isn't afraid to tell really off-color jokes (though he doesn't go out of his way to be vulgar or anything), he's not strikingly "handsome" necessary, and not even ripped, but clearly very athletic. (also, supervisor at a national marketing firm, they actually created a management position for him to be promoted into) The shame is, man, I do love that dude. He h… | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 01:19 PM |
| 8 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itI wonder if it's really "already having a woman", and if it's more "a guy that women want will never not have a woman on call? | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 12:28 PM |
| 2 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itLook, if the wife is cool with it, then there's honestly no problem. I'm sure when I see him today, and I tell him I'm moving out, the conversation is going to come, you know, "Why?". If him and his wife are "on a break", or she's actually aware of it? I've got no problem. But it's the lying and cheating that makes it difficult for me. Frankly, it's not my responsibility to lie for him and pretend he's been a good little boy scout. Doing so would just make a coward out of me. I'll just get out o… | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 09:23 AM |
| 3 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itI honestly don't care, as long as she knows. But like I said, I'm not going to say anything, I'm just gonna move out and keep the fuck to myself. But we're all so ingrained in each others' lives, she's instantly going to know something's wrong. I guess that's really his problem to deal with, though. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 08:44 AM |
| 13 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itI mean, for long as I've known him, women actively hit on him, and he of course reciprocates. Difference was, when he was married, his wife knew he was a flirt, and didn't mind him being flirty. She's been naive to have allowed it, which is now plain to see. Still, seems super shitty on his part. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 08:29 AM |
| -7 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itConsidering that A) I heard the wife yelling at him (a few months back) in what sounded like her accusing him of cheat, B) he has a long history of cheating in his relationships (possibly every one of them), and C) when we were all eating dinner, the woman was talking to the wife on the phone like they were 'besties' or something, it just doesn't seem that way. But maybe -- god, I fucking hope that is the case. Or that my friend tells me "Wife is out of town because they're taking a break". Jesu… | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 06:40 AM |
| 15 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itI'm honestly not; she showed her true colors when she played along like she was besties with the wife, only to fuck her husband while she's out of town. That is a truly sad individual to do something like that. Regardless, my current plan is to try and find a place to move as quickly as possible, and tell my friend I have no intentions of speaking to his wife. If he wants to keep it a secret, then I'm not going to answer any calls, texts, or messages from her, that he better just tell her that w… | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 06:36 AM |
| 1 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itIt's that his wife is pregnant that's fucking with me so much. Like, she's three months away from giving birth to her first child, and -- at least as far as I'm aware -- she's taken a trip to help her sister and brother-in-law to move (well, watch their kids while they move). Part of me is really hoping he comes back and says "Actually, she's not helping anyone move, we're taking a break and she's staying with family". As awful as that might sound, it would be a huge weight off my own shoulders.… | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 06:33 AM |
| 8 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itI guess so. It's just hitting me now, that because I live with he and his wife, and work with him (he got promoted to supervisor), my life is pretty much fucked, over HIS infidelity. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 05:03 AM |
| 54 | This is the real world; don't you ever forget itThe most fucked part, is that his teenage daughter is visiting and is just down the hall from him. | /r/TheRedPill | 01/07/19 04:59 AM |
| 1 | Research article studies Dating Inequality. Majority of women are rating men unfairlyThat's a good outlook to have. | /r/TheRedPill | 18/06/19 02:17 PM |
| 1 | Research article studies Dating Inequality. Majority of women are rating men unfairlyRather, I think it's more than "psychological issues impede them from getting an athletic body". I just recently started seeing a psychologist myself, and it's honestly the biggest reason I'm going; because I know that I keep fucking myself over (any time I get down, I go to taco bell, which only makes my problems worse), and I don't understand why I can't just "do better". So he's just advising me right now to document everything, if I workout and what I do, if I do decide to go to taco bell, d… | /r/TheRedPill | 18/06/19 02:15 PM |
| 1 | I'm a fucking dolt, how SHOULD I have handled seeing this woman again?Well, what would you maybe suggest? Just, if we do bump into each other again, trying to make a better effort then? Or maybe just casually ask the mother tomorrow or something "how the daughter's been" (I get the feeling the mother really likes me), and maybe even go as far as give the number through her? Of note; we are actually facebook friends. So I could ask her out that way, but... I dunno, that seems pretty fucking lame, even for me. Unless maybe I found some event to invite her to? (buddy… | /r/askTRP | 11/06/19 07:10 PM |
| 1 | I don't even think I've posted here before, but one of the mods of AskMenOver30 decided to ban me anyways for followingI'm honestly just a bit shocked. As a guy whose only real "father figure" passed away when I was still young, I always figured that to be a community where you could get real feedback and life advice from, you know, "men over 30". And in my somewhat limited interaction with the sub, it really does seem like a great community of guys. But for whatever reason, I posted a few replies to another thread today and they were all removed. And then I get that. Completely ridiculous. Honestly, it's no won… | /r/TheRedPill | 09/06/19 12:43 AM |
| 1 | I don't think I've even POSTED to this sub, but apparently following is enough to get banned from MenOver30I'm honestly just a bit shocked. As a guy whose only real "father figure" passed away when I was still young, I always figured that to be a community where you could get real feedback and life advice from, you know, "men over 30". And in my somewhat limited interaction with the sub, it really does seem like a great community of guys. But for whatever reason, I posted a few replies to another thread today and they were all removed. And then I get that. Completely ridiculous. Honestly, it's no won… | /r/TheRedPill | 09/06/19 12:33 AM |
| 2 | I have no idea how to escalate! I think my temp-roommate might want to have sex, but no idea how to ask?I mean, at this point, it's clearly not happening, and may have been a bad idea to begin with. But at the same time, I feel like I've been here before. Where I just don't know how to escalate. How do you go from platonic "So, got any big weekend plans?", to... actually fucking. I'm serious. I've literally never been able to cross the border, I don't even know what it's "supposed" to look like. The internet may be full of porn, but I've never come across anything that shows actual conversation pr… | /r/askTRP | 01/06/19 05:20 AM |
| 1 | So basically most women spend their lives fucking muscular assholes and when they become old they want to settle down with some poor schmuck? That’s female nature in a nutshell, correct?Dude; I seriously appreciate the long, typed-out response. I'm definitely trying to take steps towards mentally "getting my shit together" (including finally getting some therapy, which starts tomorrow), and I feel like this is exactly the kind of advice I need. Kudos, man! | /r/askTRP | 30/05/19 01:19 PM |
| 2 | So basically most women spend their lives fucking muscular assholes and when they become old they want to settle down with some poor schmuck? That’s female nature in a nutshell, correct?I have a ton of respect for that. I honestly lack in the "guts" department, I have a hard time even just "being myself" without the assistance of quite a bit of alcohol. | /r/askTRP | 29/05/19 09:11 PM |
| 2 | So basically most women spend their lives fucking muscular assholes and when they become old they want to settle down with some poor schmuck? That’s female nature in a nutshell, correct?That's a surprisingly motivational outlook. Here, have an upvote. | /r/askTRP | 29/05/19 06:46 PM |
| 1 | Have any of you EVER had success trying to meet up with someone over facebook?Yeah, that's kind of my feeling as well. Facebook is like the antithesis of "sexy". Just good to know I'm right about that, and not just bitching out and not making a move I SHOULD be making | /r/askTRP | 21/05/19 11:59 PM |
| 0 | Have any of you EVER had success trying to meet up with someone over facebook?Dude; no need to be a prick. | /r/askTRP | 21/05/19 04:12 PM |
| 14 | Why do women lie about not liking a fit man?I don't think it's born from any malicious intent, so much as a lot of women are sort of in denial (something our society does, to both men and women). They think "being attracted primarily to a guy's physical appearance" equated to "being slutty", and they don't see themselves that way. In reality, though, it's just a natural instinct, the same way us guys are also drawn primarily to a woman's physical appearance. When you're drunk, "the real you" comes out, because you let go of most of your i… | /r/askTRP | 14/05/19 04:13 PM |
| 1 | Mentally, how do you view yourself?I don't think it's whether or not he is that smart, but that he feels he's that smart. Accurate or not, I think it's part of what makes him confident in himself. I'd consider myself pretty intelligent, but there are some things that make me feel like I'm an idiot, and I have a tendency to second-guess myself on pretty much every decision I make. | /r/askTRP | 09/05/19 03:45 PM |
| 1 | Mentally, how do you view yourself?That last line is really what bothers me. It really does feel like something you either "have it, or you don't". I've never known anyone who has ever really changed. Nobody who "started out 'like me', a sad, lonely loser, who turned it all around". And really, I can't see I've ever really seen much of the inverse, either; I've seen guys down on their luck, but never fundamentally different, just in need to a pick-me-up. I worry that maybe I'm just kind of "stuck like this". People seem to like m… | /r/askTRP | 09/05/19 03:30 PM |
| 1 | Mentally, how do you view yourself?So, I've not posted to any responses yet (and you two are clearly in a debate all your own), but I actually appreciate some of the points you bring up. I think I share a lot of the insecurities with the guy you're replying to (in fact, I also had long hair and a beard until last year, and have been debating growing it out ever since). I something I (and it sounds like, maybe him as well) get caught up on is the idea that, "you're either the best option, or you're not an option to women". I suppo… | /r/askTRP | 09/05/19 03:19 PM |
| 1 | How did you kill your betaHonestly man, as someone going through kind of a rough time right now... this is what I needed to see. I'm 31 and still don't have this shit figured out. But posts like this help me get my head on straight, and stop beating myself up all the time. | /r/askTRP | 15/04/19 02:13 PM |
| 1 | Dude in my 30's, considering braces... would that be pathetic?I appreciate that, thanks man! | /r/askTRP | 20/03/19 12:46 PM |
| 1 | Dude in my 30's, considering braces... would that be pathetic?Very good point. I do have a habit of finding reasons not to make moves. Something I've always struggled with, really. Good advice, though. | /r/askTRP | 20/03/19 12:42 PM |
| 1 | Dude in my 30's, considering braces... would that be pathetic?Eh, fair enough. But you'd definitely say braces are gonna hurt my odds quite a bit more? (I'll try and schedule an exam this or next week, just to see in clear braces are an option; it's been a while since I've been to a dentist). | /r/askTRP | 19/03/19 09:24 PM |
| 1 | Dude in my 30's, considering braces... would that be pathetic?I appreciate that, man. Granted, there's a big age-gap, but good to hear it. | /r/askTRP | 19/03/19 09:18 PM |
| 2 | Dude in my 30's, considering braces... would that be pathetic?Eh, probably later? Not sure the best method of uploading pictures anymore, now that imgur requires their stupid app to upload images from mobile (I have to worry a lot about cyber security). My top teeth probably aren't super jacked-up. My bottom teeth are pretty rough, though; my bottom-right canine actually sticks out in front of my top teeth. | /r/askTRP | 19/03/19 09:13 PM |
| 3 | Do any of you guys struggle with thoughts like "I'll never be worth anything, I should just stop trying"?I dunno, man. I get what you mean, but it feels like I just can't "fix" whatever seems to be wrong with me. It's like, after 25 lbs, I've completely stalled. I've been working out an hour a day, five days a week, eating low carb and reasonable calories.... Just feels like I'm spinning my wheels. I know 31 isn't that old, but I feel old. I feel like my life is just kind of "gone", that I'm stuck as this crappy human being I am. | /r/askTRP | 14/03/19 01:44 AM |
| 1 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"I didn't do this lastnight, but definitely doing this this week (maybe today, if it clears up). This actually seems like a legit good "challenge" for me, I definitely apologize too much and move around other people. | /r/askTRP | 23/02/19 02:47 PM |
| 1 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"Well, fortunately I completed all four of yours. It wound up spiraling into a pretty awful night anyways (just a lot going on in life, just kinda got to me), but definitely felt better. Surprisingly, people were all about getting random highfives from a total stranger. | /r/askTRP | 23/02/19 02:45 PM |
| 3 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"I like these. These all seem very doable. There aren't any big bars near where I live, but hopefully shouldn't stop me from completing your "list". | /r/askTRP | 22/02/19 10:21 PM |
| 1 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"Fair enough. Alright, so not committing to the karaoke part, but definitely going to the bar and making a point to introduce myself to at least one woman. Anything you might throw on top of that? | /r/askTRP | 22/02/19 10:19 PM |
| 2 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"Sorry if I was vague on the gym; I work out minimum 30 min a day at home. Used to do an hour a day at the gym at work, fell out of the habit when they closed for renovations, they only opened back up two weeks ago. I should start doing that again, though. Martial arts; Definitely no, I don't even feel bad about shooting that one down. I live near DC, traffic simply won't allow me to go anywhere regularly, let alone another gym that I have to pay for. Bar + talking to girls: Yes. That's what I'm … | /r/askTRP | 22/02/19 10:18 PM |
| 1 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"I usually do 30 min a day. I did an hour a day most of last year, but gym closed for renovations and only just reopened two weeks ago. I probably ought to do both (it was actually a nice pick-me-up to workout in the middle of the day, felt like I went back to work "refreshed"). | /r/askTRP | 22/02/19 10:15 PM |
| 1 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"There's no amount of alcohol that would get me past my nerves of singing. Plus, if I get super drunk, I'm not really sure what my gameplan would be for getting home (not an excuse, just something I need to put some thought into). | /r/askTRP | 22/02/19 09:50 PM |
| 2 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"Eh, real talk; I'm not physically attractive. I can try to work on "confidence", but in my experience, tinder is only useful to really good-looking guys, and I'm a bad-looking guy. I only managed to get a single date out of it years ago, and the girl acted like she was ready to bolt the second she saw me. | /r/askTRP | 22/02/19 09:42 PM |
| 2 | Last weekend at 30, pretty beta... give me a "task"I actually have a home-gym setup, on top of a free gym at work. I legit don't have time to join anything for martial arts (was actually a pretty decent boxer when I was younger). Definitely feel better when I work out, though. Singing karaoke... I'm not feeling quite that brave. | /r/askTRP | 22/02/19 09:40 PM |
| 2 | I feel like I've had a mental "breakthrough", and I thought I'd shareYeah, though I basically fucked up my one golden opportunity. I tried a few more times (she seems skilled at "brushing off plans, but making it seem like she wants to reschedule"), I sort of knew there was no shot of anything but clung to the hope of "Maybe I'm just giving up too quickly". Which is another example of me screwing myself over. Just not having enough confidence in myself to believe "You know, if I keep working on myself, I won't have to worry about if one woman 'likes me' or not". … | /r/TheRedPill | 23/01/19 04:48 PM |
| 8 | I feel like I've had a mental "breakthrough", and I thought I'd shareHuh, super interesting stuff! Where'd you find this, just curious? Either way, it's just interesting, feeling like I have a better insight now. Even this post, I feel like I actually understand this stuff now, instead of just nodding along "yeah, yeah, but what specifically do I need to be doing?". | /r/TheRedPill | 22/01/19 10:06 PM |
| 15 | I feel like I've had a mental "breakthrough", and I thought I'd shareHmm... lot of stuff there to consider. I can definitely agree that, yeah, I'm not personally at the "value" I want to be (I've been making serious headway the past month, though). But really, that's not a new thought for me. Really, I think it's more that my whole mindset has just been "off". Which, I definitely knew, but I feel like I understand more how it's been off. Basically, I've been hinging how I feel about myself on how these women feel about me. So dieting, working out, dressing nicer … | /r/TheRedPill | 22/01/19 09:55 PM |
| 0 | How do you become "sexy", as opposed to simply "attractive"?Well, not gonna lie; part of the appeal of long hair (and the beard I had with it) was it sort of hid your facial features. I felt like I hid my weight a lot more, whereas since going short hair and clean-shaven, I hate looking in a mirror but it also inspires me to stick with this strict diet and exercise more. The only really crappy things about long hair were having it blowing in your face if you had the car windows down, or waking up with hair in my face (something I eventually alleviated by… | /r/askTRP | 03/01/19 05:21 PM |
| 1 | Creating the momentI appreciate the response. That all makes sense. Unfortunately, there's nothing within 5 min of my place, and I doubt my roommates would ever concede to giving the place to myself for an evening. Is the best option, if I'm just chatting up someone new, just to push to go to her place? What would be a good backup plan if she has roommates and doesn't want to bring a guy back? Offer to spring for a room nearby, or just suggest the 30+ min drive to my place anyways? | /r/TheRedPill | 03/01/19 04:17 PM |
| 0 | How do you become "sexy", as opposed to simply "attractive"?Also -- because this doesn't really warrant its own post -- I want to get you guys' frank and honest opinions about something. I used to have long hair (and a beard), regularly teased for looking like "a viking". Last year, I cut my hair, which I've gotten compliments for looking a lot better (and certainly more "professional"). A female coworker (married, nothing happening there) commented at lunch that she was so happy I cut my hair. At the same time, though, I kind of miss the long hair. It f… | /r/askTRP | 03/01/19 03:53 PM |
| 4 | Creating the momentI think he covered that disclaimer. I think he's right, though, or at least not wrong. This is honestly one of the biggest things I need to work on, because I have a lot of difficulty not "being platonic". I'm working on physically improving myself, but I think I fall into the trap of thinking everything is about physically being attractive, instead of acknowledging that it's also about trying to be sexy. | /r/TheRedPill | 03/01/19 03:26 PM |
| 4 | Creating the momentReal talk; how do you transition from "meeting a girl while you're out" to "getting in your cars (because no chick is going to get in a stranger's car, or invite you in theirs) and going somewhere"? Also, I have difficulty grappling with the twin realities that "I have roommates (most women seem instantly put-off when they have to worry about anyone else thinking they might be slutty)", and also "I live far enough away from any bars that going back to my place is like a 30 min drive". This sub s… | /r/TheRedPill | 03/01/19 03:23 PM |
| 15 | What has caused society’s recent (last 10-20 years) emasculinity?I think there are a ton of factors. Something I would point to as something people don't like to acknowledge, though, is that women entering the work-force during WW2 is probably the biggest factor. I mean, think about it; for the first time, women were no longer reliant on men. That, in and of itself, is actually a good thing. The problem is that it left many men without a feeling of purpose. Furthermore, it essentially doubled the amount of people looking for most of the same jobs, making it m… | /r/askTRP | 02/01/19 03:39 PM |
| 30 | Do any of you guys have the desire to be part of a "tribe"?I appreciate your response. I've never served, but it still feels like there's something "missing" there all the same. I wonder, sometimes, if that "tribe" mentality existed more in the past? You know, back before moving all across the country was "normal", before media constantly joked that true friendship between guys was "gay", shit like that. I dunno. It's something I definitely feel is missing in my life, and I guess I wonder if it's just something wrong with me, or if others feel that same… | /r/askTRP | 28/12/18 09:44 PM |
| 1 | Practical advice on where to go or what to do, as a guy in his 30's with no real friends or familiarity?Hey man, I appreciate the advice! Truth is, I'm actually kind of near DC, so there's probably more to do than I give credit for. Still, those are excellent suggestions. I don't think I'm ready for a dog, but the other stuff seems doable. | /r/askTRP | 27/12/18 02:14 AM |
| 1 | I never feel like doing anything or going anywhere. How do I change?Keto. Entirely possible, I suppose. But like I said, I feel more like "This is the only life I know", more like I don't know how to live any other way, and also that I don't know whether or not it seems appealing. It may just be a case of needing to stick with this until I've started feeling these changes. I didn't get fat overnight, so losing weight will naturally take some time, but maybe once I don't hate looking at the person in the mirror, I'll feel more like if I go out, there's some chanc… | /r/askTRP | 24/12/18 11:55 PM |
| 16 | Never watch girls storiesWell, I say this as one of those guys who is insecure... that's kind of why this sub (and the Ask TRP sub) has been so helpful. I'm the first to get defensive about things, but when you see not just the practical knowledge, but also just the culture here, of guys genuinely wanting each other to succeed -- that's something that I've never experienced, and I think I'm slowly becoming a better man because of some of the folks here. The biggest thing is, yeah, reaching that point you acknowledge "Ok… | /r/TheRedPill | 19/12/18 06:12 PM |
| 2 | "Just do better than yesterday."Ooh, that's a good one. I'm going to have to keep that one in mind, too. | /r/askTRP | 29/11/18 05:23 PM |
| 1 | How do you get out of the loop of telling yourself you're a loser and will never get better?I dunno. I've been soda-free for about 4 months now, and until last month, I'd been going to the gym 5 days a week. Hasn't made any difference whatsoever. I mean, I assume my diet is just that bad, but I really don't know how much left I have in me to give. I legit feel like just "giving up" most days. | /r/askTRP | 26/11/18 09:23 PM |
| 1 | How do you get out of the loop of telling yourself you're a loser and will never get better?I was working out 5 days a week; that's been put on-hold because my gym is undergoing reservations. I do actually kind of miss it, as it was a good time to clear my head in the middle of the day. Although to be fair, I could definitely crank my workouts up a notch whenever it re-opens. I just haven't taken to anything else. I don't like doing anything outside (especially now that it's cold as balls), and there are no other gyms anywhere near where I live (I'm already gone 11 hours a day, the nex… | /r/askTRP | 26/11/18 04:35 PM |
| 1 | I basically have no life. Very little time and energy, and no desire to "just make friends". What should I be doing?Oh, sorry; I ride to work with other people. It allows us to use the Toll roads, so a drive that normally takes 1-2 hours each way for one person, we get to drive on roads that cut the commute down to about 30 min (sometimes longer, but you can't predict traffic). So I get picked up and dropped off for work. If I were to back out, I'd spend a lot longer traveling, and so would the other people (unless they found a replacement for me). | /r/askTRP | 28/10/18 10:00 PM |
| 1 | I basically have no life. Very little time and energy, and no desire to "just make friends". What should I be doing?I think that's a huge part of the problem; I don't really like doing anything. I play video games when I can, but I honestly don't know that I enjoy it, so much as use it as an escape from reality. I dunno, I feel like I'm in a funk, but it's been like this for as long as I can remember. | /r/askTRP | 28/10/18 09:22 PM |
| 1 | I basically have no life. Very little time and energy, and no desire to "just make friends". What should I be doing?Not really possible, as I car-pool to work. I mean, I usually go when I get home, which is around 6:30-7, but it is what it is. | /r/askTRP | 28/10/18 09:19 PM |
| 0 | How should I handle (married) female coworker and/or her sister?Even the sister of a coworker? | /r/askTRP | 23/10/18 08:00 PM |
| 6 | When she is interested YOU'LL KNOW.With all due respect... not always true. It just depends on your frame of mind, how you see things. Myself, for example, sometimes I'll see hope where there is none, but more often than not, I am so full of self-doubt/self-hate, I've let opportunities slip by because I was SO sure I didn't have a chance. I was overweight throughout high school, but discovered years later that two attractive girls actually had a thing for me, which I had no idea, because I thought they were just out of my league … | /r/TheRedPill | 23/10/18 11:43 AM |
| 1 | I've been insecure my whole life. How do you even start to build confidence?Real talk? I've legit considered it, if I can ever get my weight down. I'm a pretty large guy anyways, but I feel like my arms and shoulders are small. I don't want to mess with any of that stuff while I still have so much weight to lose, but eventually, I dunno, maybe. | /r/askTRP | 24/09/18 07:07 PM |
| 1 | I've been insecure my whole life. How do you even start to build confidence?Well, this kind of touches on what I mean. I'm not great at guitar, I can only play a few simple tunes, and even though that's probably more than most people, I still wouldn't consider myself "proud". After all, there are other guys who play better than me (and had an experience at a party once where I played a bit, then some other guy asked for the guitar and could really play, making me look and feel like an idiot). I just don't know how to cross this threshold of "feeling like I'm not terribl… | /r/askTRP | 24/09/18 04:21 PM |
| 34 | Confident Vs CockyI think the problem I suffer with -- and by my estimation, a lot of guys here also do (or at least did) -- is grappling with a constant feeling of "not being good enough". It's a vicious cycle, especially when you come from a family that constantly put you down or even directly told you that you weren't good enough. Say you see a girl you like. Well, you start assessing things. "Well, if I think she's attractive, so do other guys. Chances are, many if not most of them are more attractive than me… | /r/TheRedPill | 05/09/18 02:10 PM |
| 1 | I turn 29 in a few weeks, want a night of debauchery but don't really any any reliable friends. Advice on what to do?Perhaps not "drunk", then? I feel like when I'm really tipsy, I have an easier time being myself, joking or flirting, without overthinking things or psyching myself out. | /r/TheRedPill | 08/02/17 02:45 PM |
| 1 | I turn 29 in a few weeks, want a night of debauchery but don't really any any reliable friends. Advice on what to do?Well, a little expensive to do this year (or at least, right now), but this might actually be a good idea. I've never been one for travelling, but it might not be a bad idea, just to have something to work towards. | /r/TheRedPill | 07/02/17 07:34 PM |
| 1 | Well, I'm a whiny little bitch over falling for a girl I knew wasn't available. Please tell me that I'm being a whiny little bitch.I really like that perspective. And you're absolutely right; I need to take control of my feelings, and try to put them towards something more constructive for myself. | /r/TheRedPill | 15/12/16 05:56 PM |
| 1 | Well, I'm a whiny little bitch over falling for a girl I knew wasn't available. Please tell me that I'm being a whiny little bitch.Really appreciate this post, man. Lot to take away from it, but also nice to know others here still get hit with this from time to time, too. | /r/TheRedPill | 15/12/16 01:06 PM |
| 6 | Well, I'm a whiny little bitch over falling for a girl I knew wasn't available. Please tell me that I'm being a whiny little bitch.Fair enough. Maybe if I took control and got my shit together, I wouldn't be in this position anyways. Trying to get myself to use this as motivation to work on improving myself. But goddamn it's a shitty feeling. | /r/TheRedPill | 14/12/16 09:43 PM |
| 0 | Well, I'm a whiny little bitch over falling for a girl I knew wasn't available. Please tell me that I'm being a whiny little bitch.Sorry, I've not seen the term "NAWALT" before. Care to elaborate? Anyways, I wouldn't go so far as to say I "dodged a bullet" -- she's a great person, and I hope to distance myself enough emotionally to still be able to spend time with her from time to time. Still, like you said, it's definitely something I need to grow from. I'm honestly surprised that these feelings are still there. I mean, I've always liked her, but thought I'd gotten over the "being in love" thing. And really, it's not like … | /r/TheRedPill | 14/12/16 09:29 PM |
| 2 | Fuck it. Let's do this. How do I "build confidence" to approach women? And how old is too old to "play the field"?I guess it's more that I feel like I'm in a weird place, where I don't really know where I'm heading in life, but I've found I now regularly refer to people in their early-mid twenties as "kids". Most everyone my age is married and is living the "family life". I feel like I'm kind of this weird outlier, where I'm stuck pursuing women in their early 20's because they seem to be the only ones single, but it's hard relating sometimes. | /r/TheRedPill | 09/12/16 06:19 PM |
| 1 | Fuck it. Let's do this. How do I "build confidence" to approach women? And how old is too old to "play the field"?Body fat is definitely high; I'm 255 lbs now (which in fairness, I was at 318 at the beginning of last year; just having a hard time getting focused again). As far as clothes, probably fairly boring; tends to be slacks with a long-sleeve shirt and sleeves pushed up, long hair sometimes pulled back. I remember getting a comment that I should go for a "biker look", especially since my beard is decently long around the chin (I keep the sides pretty close). I dunno how many women are into that style… | /r/TheRedPill | 09/12/16 06:17 PM |
| 0 | Fuck it. Let's do this. How do I "build confidence" to approach women? And how old is too old to "play the field"?Being ginger is "godlike"? Far as I've ever found, most men with red hair are considered to look "weird" and generally unattractive. I mean, pale skin and freckles can look great on women, but I think are both considered feminine traits, which sucks for being a guy. | /r/TheRedPill | 09/12/16 03:20 PM |
| 3 | Fuck it. Let's do this. How do I "build confidence" to approach women? And how old is too old to "play the field"?That's a really good way to look at it. | /r/TheRedPill | 09/12/16 03:12 PM |
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