Why is getting into a relationship significantly easier than finding a hookup.

naitdawggg · 2026-03-18T06:49:31+00:00

More girls want boyfriends than hookups, especially if you don’t make it clear in the beginning

publicenemyone · 2026-03-18T06:25:36+00:00

Literally the other way around for me. I’ve had plenty of hook ups over the past few years, but I can’t get into a relationship to save my life. Mainly because hook ups require less commitment/emotional investment.

norwegiandoggo · 2026-03-18T09:25:26+00:00

Depends where you meet them. If you're meeting most women when they're drunk at raves / nightclubs / parties. I can assure you, most of them want a hook-up, not a relationship.

If you meet them sober through friends or social circles - it's way more likely that they want a relationship.

MisterMoogle03 · 2026-03-18T11:18:30+00:00

I had a similar issue at your age.

Chances are you’re not as forward/honest when you need to be with who you need to be.

If I want to hookup with someone casually, I’m not spending much time becoming their friend and talking them up. If I already did spend time becoming friends before deciding I want to hook up, I now have to honestly present to them the idea that I would like to get to know what hooking up with them is like.

You’ll have to be ok knowing that making a proposition to some women will disgust them, thus souring the friendship in some cases. Many will have a “ew I knew all he wanted to do was fuck me” reaction. Some might come around after they’ve reflected on it/during a moment of loneliness.

Hooking up is largely a numbers game.

Getting in a relationship is largely a quality game. If you’re good quality and can get relationships easy, getting hookups can also be easy if you’re making your intentions known (in a smooth way, not pushy).

Women do want some sense of security before they’re willing to allow you to get them in a room alone, so you basically gotta get a girl to let her hair down around you before outright mentioning hooking up unless you’re in a situation (party/bar) where you can just drop a bomb like that immediately and it be successful.

Most women have an idealistic view on romance, and would prefer someone to be practically obsessed with them. If you’re a high quality dude at your age, you have to save yourself time by pretty much asking any woman you don’t care for being in a relationship with.

Be wary if you do this in a small area, your reputation may begin to precede you.

throwaway-research1 · 2026-03-18T09:11:14+00:00

Other way around for me

Certain_Process_7657 · 2026-03-18T13:48:26+00:00

Unless you're a top 5% looking guy, you have to at least take them on a date or 2 before getting to the bedroom. And then if you fuck her right a few times, you can try to propose just keeping it a casual thing.

Can't say you just want a fuck buddy before even meeting up. Have to at least insinuate that you're looking for a relationship down the line. Most women don't want to actually know they're primarily just being used for sex.

V3X390 · 2026-03-18T11:17:27+00:00

Understand that every stranger a girl hooks up with is a risk. She doesn’t know what diseases you have, how crazy you are, and if you’re going to put up a fight about using protection. Most girls will choose familiar dick over stranger dick every time.

QuotaCaterpillar61 · 2026-03-18T06:45:21+00:00

Thinking we should be trading places, it’s been the opposite for me for basically forever. Can never find someone who’s willing to commit or be emotionally available. As much I don’t mind doing casual, it’s lowkey kind of disheartening.

SnoopyCactus983 · 2026-03-18T12:50:50+00:00

?? I’ve never had this experience. Can find a hookup 100x easier than a relationship and that’s an issue for me.

Moe_be_flying · 2026-03-18T06:27:43+00:00

Samee!!! I find a girl, shoot my shot, hook up then turn into relationship and then I find myself looking for a way out cuz I feel caged up and now I have weight on my shoulders, idk how I managed 3 breakups in 6 months😭 one of them was 10 months relationship then 1 months then 3 months But yeah they look for relationship and we just be looking for a hook up

Its hard emotionally and mentally

repivone · 2026-03-18T07:23:38+00:00

All my girlfriends could have been one night stands too. I could have never called those women again. Lol

ProfitisAlethia · 2026-03-18T14:10:20+00:00

I feel this. If I were open to any relationship that came my way I would be drowning in it. In the past few years I've drastically raised my standards and it's made finding someone a lot more rare.

I've read studies that show that gen Z is also just having a lot less sex in general. The younger generation doesn't seem as open to hookup culture and I think there's a lot of cultural reasons for that: Gender division due to social media and women becoming more convinced that men are dangerous, the rise in pornography and sex toys, the internet and covid have killed people's ability to interact in person, and the drop in alcohol sales show that people are going out less and less.

Hookups are hard to find directly. It's rarer for women to intentionally seek them out and it's usually something that "just happens". But, it doesn't just happen if people are inside binging Netflix instead of outside talking to each other.

nicoroma0610 · 2026-03-18T14:13:00+00:00

I thing it might be because of context. Depending on where you're from, girls can be more open to having fun. Age is also important, you'll notice as you age that it gets easier and easier to find girls who just want to release anxiety and forget your name.

Hydroplanet · 2026-03-18T14:25:37+00:00

I have the same challenge and it’s a good thing. I could get a girlfriend within a week anytime I want to. Even girls that say they want a hookup change after the first date and “want something more from this connection” Girls hook up with guys they don’t care about that they aren’t worried about attaching to. Girls go slow with legit good guys. They wouldn’t want a relationship with someone unattractive either so you must be decently attractive. If you only want a hookup you need to say that right at the start and be okay with hearing no and moving on to the next. It’s a numbers game.

Human-Arachnid-2592 · 2026-03-18T14:51:31+00:00

Because they have no patience to vet properly and want instant gratification.

Miss_Galoldriel · 2026-03-18T07:35:54+00:00

I believe you are right about most women wanting a relationship. There are exceptions though, and some of us use hook up-apps like Feeld. I know women have it a lot easier on the apps than most men, but perhaps it's worth a shot? At least it won't come as a surprise to anyone on an app like this that people are looking for sex, because everyone does, and it's my impression that the majority is interested in keeping it casual.

Title	Why is getting into a relationship significantly easier than finding a hookup.
Author	Vivid_Discussion2562
Upvotes	55
Comments	62
Date	March 18, 2026 6:23 AM UTC (4 months ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/1rww61m/why_is_getting_into_a_relationship_significantly/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-is-getting-into-a-relationship-significantly.1575785 https://theredarchive.com/post/1575785

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