Why you should make your intentions clear (x-post from TIFU)

zevah · 2015-09-26T13:18:39+00:00

fuck.

You don't get to dwell on this, it won't do any good, and just forget what she said, it's pointless now.

You'll find the right women soon enough.

You learned your lesson and that's all you will ever get from this.

meukow · 2015-09-26T14:54:03+00:00

Funny how you even said that thing there because you knew she wouldn't reciprocate and you're 'safe' from having to do anything once again... you need to man up asap.

thispostgivemecancer · 2015-09-26T13:40:28+00:00

this shit makes me cringe for real.

classic 'nice guy' syndrome

Im_not_lonely · 2015-09-26T13:46:22+00:00

what a cunty thing to say at a wedding dude. Let her go that was a dick thing to do.

recyclablebantha · 2015-09-26T14:09:06+00:00

TIFU by realizing I'm in love with my best friend - at her wedding

You didn't realize this at her wedding. You knew early on, but talked yourself out of acting, EVEN when she made moves on you.

....I just thought hell, she'll never like someone like me.

.....never once reciprocating her drunk advances. I always figured she only wanted me while drunk ya know?

(Plus she had a bad habit of being an absolute heart breaker)

Excuses.

Her husband is a fantastic guy, and he'll make her so happy. But I fucked up, by letting my insecurities get between the one I always really wanted.

In the end, ~~she wasn't the one you were supposed to be with, or it would have worked out~~ if you had truly wanted her, you would have made it happen. The truth is, you weren't ready for a girl like her. If you were, then you wouldn't have worked so hard to shoot yourself down, while she was bending over backwards to make opportunities.

You weren't ready to date someone like her until you went through something like this which drives home the consequences of inaction.

She wasn't "the one" you always wanted. She is a signpost on your path. A call to action.

EDIT: There isn't really such a thing as "the one." But this is a side point next to the fact that you simply weren't in a place (emotionally, etc) where you were ready to take action. Maybe you will be soon and you'll be ready for the next opportunity.

BravoPUA · 2015-09-26T15:04:20+00:00

Horrible move for a "friend" to pull on her wedding!

Making it about you instead of her and her husband.

Total AFC bitch move.

Don't post advice, you aren't qualified to give any.

Pan0ptimist · 2015-09-26T15:30:52+00:00

You have forgotten the face of your father.

JBiebers · 2015-09-26T13:17:52+00:00

To be honest this is very anecdotal and usually doesn't happen. Sure, you should make your intentions clear from the get-go, but it takes someone very socially oblivious to pass up on a woman hitting on you several times. I'm sorry for you, though.

JLeww69 · 2015-09-26T21:31:48+00:00

FYI this story was originally posted by a female and a few lines were taken out for the repost. It's got an important message regardless.

RavithePowerful · 2015-09-26T13:57:37+00:00

Great white buffalo.

On a serious note. Life lessons are hard learned.

perdipp · 2015-09-26T15:03:22+00:00

man that's sad... I kinda had that situation but it wasnt marriage but she went abroad.. knowing that they liked you all along but none of you dared to take the step, is more painful than anything.. but fuckit. it's been like 2 years and now i'm with other girls and i forgot her in six months though it was fuckin wet pillows on the first week... DOnt worry brother, things will be fine and just start doing more approaches... cold approaches if youre in a good country ;)

merlestreep · 2015-09-26T13:43:57+00:00

Just apply this learning to next girl. Life goes on.

HerbertMcSherbert · 2015-09-26T14:25:00+00:00

Watch "One Day" and have a bawl.

But apart from that, realise that you're likely also feeling like this only because the option is no longer open. It may in reality be nothing more than that.

Kingofawesomenes · 2015-09-26T15:37:02+00:00

It will be painfull for a couple of weeks, but you have to move on. "When you go through hell, keep moving.'' We have all gone through this, we have all moved on. The only difference is that this happened with the girl you loved the most, not just a random crush. That will make this extra hard. But it will also make you harder. Dont drown in your sorrow, but start doing things, right now. This is the time to start taking action, do things that make you feel better. May it be lifting, learning, socializing, anything that you want to do that gets you closer to your goals. You missed an opportunity, dont miss any others.

Turlast · 2015-09-26T19:31:37+00:00

That was a tough read.

JLeww69 · 2015-09-26T20:35:30+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Copycatz0r · 2015-09-26T23:46:06+00:00

That was so painful to read, I feel the regret oozing through the screen (always wanted to use that word, oozing). A moment of silence for our fallen comrade.

People PLEASE learn from this and work through your insecurities. If she says no then you at least tried. If you don't try and later realize you had a shot, you will regret it for the rest of your life. So by default, you have nothing to lose in the first place if you tell her how you feel.

theCHAMPdotcom · 2015-09-26T14:08:23+00:00

Shitty...but I am of the philosophy that there is ALWAYS someone better out there.

bluePMAknight · 2015-09-26T14:40:04+00:00

Fuck dude, that's heavy.

ComfortableComa · 2015-09-27T01:41:27+00:00

Not gunna lie that just tugged on my heart strings.....

LUClEN · 2015-09-26T17:27:22+00:00

That's the first step to avoiding the friend zone

100plusclub · 2015-09-27T01:20:01+00:00

Should have fucked her bro.

shrimp0MASTER · 2015-09-27T01:56:21+00:00

I just cringed into a black hole. Dude, you have to be so oblivious to have passed on so many blatant advances on her part. You also said that ''she'll never like someone like me'', not realizing how auto-destructive this sounds. By having this train of thought, you literally project an image of a person that's not good enough because your own SELF believes that. Stop playing the victim, realize that one of the main objectives of a human is to have sex and a mate and there's nothing wrong with being attracted to someone. Jeesh.

davevd · 2015-09-27T02:53:38+00:00

Jesus H. W. Christ.

This physically hurts to read.

Men should be educated about nice guy syndrome in schools.

neverending0 · 2015-09-27T03:11:27+00:00

Something about this post clicked for me. Although now knowing that it was originally written by a female, the message is still the same. I realized how many opportunities went away for me simply because I thought I wasn't good enough. I never made the move even though there were so many situations and signs there.

Maybe I'm just dense or something cause remembering those times I truly had no intentions to make any moves.

But thanks for this post I really realized how many times I just play the victim and think I can't when I really could've. It's so weird that it took me this long to figure it out.

YippyKayYay · 2015-09-27T04:16:36+00:00

Drunk text her and try to bang

spartan1337 · 2015-09-27T05:43:36+00:00

He fucked up twice, he coulda had a comeback when they were dancing, like her banging him on the side at least, oh well

Phantom03 · 2015-09-27T06:31:10+00:00

FeelsBadMan, hope you start feeling better, I have had many fuck ups you can't dwell on it.

adriansd · 2015-09-27T07:02:37+00:00

My best friend was crying one day after a bad breakup with her boyfriend and said, "why can't I find someone like you?" I told her that I was madly inlove with her and that I want to be more than friend and what not. She said, that's weird, I'm like her brother. That was the end of our relationship.

bones_and_love · 2015-09-27T09:07:11+00:00

Nice, keep in contact with her and slam her cheeks when she's drunk

dantex47 · 2015-09-27T15:00:25+00:00

In my experience they are interested as long as you are not. Really it's hard to tell if you could pull that relationship if you started to care about her.

Say you ended up in relationship 2 years ago. For that relationship to work you must treat her like she is no better than you, not praise her and feel lucky.

And I feel that would have been hard for you. At least it is for me.

jimmiereese3327 · 2015-10-01T19:41:37+00:00

It happened and you can't change the past anymore. It happened and you can't do anything about it to change it. The only thing you can do is learn from it, that's it. Learn from it and hopefully you'll realise the lesson: Act in the now and never doubt yourself. If you want something, go get it now, if you doubt yourself just realise this: It might be the only chance you'll get. If you fail at least you tried and you won't feel terrible. Good luck!

oswaldorichardson · 2015-09-26T20:36:19+00:00

the post was written by girl they lesbioan

KarmaRiver · 2015-09-26T14:37:19+00:00

This is a growing experience, you were a backup plan to another backup plan. She wanted to make you feel shitty on her wedding night what a troll, if she had something to say or real intention she needed to woman up. Insread she chose to drama queen it out to her friends and you on this wedding night. Female douchbaghery. This poor schmuck. He will soon be sleeping in his bed knowing other fellas have been there as well. Remember. Its not the face you f##k, but the f##k you face. When your single that means one thing. Later it means another, careful what you wish for.

Title	Why you should make your intentions clear (x-post from TIFU)
Author	NedStarkyStark
Upvotes	406
Comments	96
Date	September 26, 2015 12:30 PM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/3mghz2/why_you_should_make_your_intentions_clear_xpost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-you-should-make-your-intentions-clear-x-post.1394870 https://theredarchive.com/post/1394870

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