I hate shit tests, especially if they come from very hot girls who think guys are stupid or something.

I was with a group of people in a bar, and talking to a female friend (who has a bf but we have good vibes). She introduces me to two of her friends. They are the kind of easy-going, very open girls who just want to make fun of guys then leave the conversation laughing at the poor beta.

After some minutes of small talk, I ask them "so how did you girls meet each other". Turns out they've been friends since elementary school. Then one of them (a hot but annoying HB9, think of Megan Fox) blurts out

"You know how in every group of girls there has to be one which is the hottest?"

I could see where this was going, but fortunately my brains started working quickly

"Of course, it's simple statistics!", I reply

She grins, thinking I fell in her trap. "So, which one of us three is the hottest?"

BAM! A shit test especially designed to destroy guys. Think of the chances of fucking it up:

  • I say "all you three are gorgeous!". Beta. Game over.
  • I say "HB9, you're the hottest". She wins, because she was probably expecting that answer
  • I say "othergirl (HB8, but smart), you're the hottest". My friend hates me forever
  • I say "myfriend (HB7), you're the hottest". I fuck up my chances with the other girls

It's a lose-lose situation, isn't it?

I looked at them three (nice opportunity to check their asses/boobs out with permission) and I replied, "It's so clear... but I'm not telling you!"

I add "it is obvious that in your group there is one girl which is the hottest." Then I look in the eye to all of them, this is important because if you don't do it you can imply that the asker of the question is the hot one. "But I'm not telling you". "I will bring this secret to my grave"

"Come on, come on, tell us", she begs. She's asking for my approval! Ha ha. I kill the topic, because it's a hot potato which can explode if she thinks of something wittier

So I finish with "fortunately for me I already know the answer, I'm the only guy in the group so I'm the hot one!" and change the topic. "This is boring, tell me, did you say you play basketball... ... "

Othergirl is now eating me with her eyes, HB9 is disarmed, and my friend starts kinoing me. It worked! Ha ha. I disarmed the HB while being classy and not blowing up my chances.

However I ejected after some minutes. HB9 was acting childish because she didn't get enough attention, and kind of killed the mood of HB8. I decided not to ask for their numbers. I prefer not closing with girls which are too bitchy and will probably not return my calls, it just boosts their ego. I felt like a boss, that was enough for the day.

I believe that answer worked because it left the three of them thinking they were the hottest one, but without me acknowledging it. I dunno.

My friend (who knows me since I was an AFC) asks me where did I learn that. I thought "seddit would be proud of me", so here it is. Use it if the occasion arises. Maybe it could be forced in the conversation, but I can't think of anything which doesn't look canned.