I'm a recovering divorce lawyer - AMA

WartimeDad · 2021-07-01T04:27:09+00:00

When they use the restraining order trick to get the upper hand, and they have no evidence, how often does it still stick?

jaymo54 · 2021-07-01T10:30:55+00:00

I’m in Illinois, our divorce was bitter and she tried to alienate my kids from me. One of them was successful for 2 years but she’s back now. I only have EOW and want 50/50 but she won’t do it willingly. We’re supposed to share financial details for child support. I always have and she never has. When we divorced 6 years ago she was unemployed so they imputed her income at min wage (full time). Since that time she’s gotten 3 different jobs (never reported it to me to adjust CS). Last year she made bank on the 600 extra a week unemployment deal and again never said anything. Do I have any recourse? I’m current on my child support and have never fallen behind

frankb33 · 2021-07-01T10:38:19+00:00

It’s been almost 2 years since she took the kids and left to live with her mom out of state, without my knowledge nor consent. I didn’t initially file a temporary order for custody because I was in the middle of a move(military PCS) across the country and the kids would be in a legal limbo until it was resolved, which isn’t. Can I do anything at this point? She’s also stated that she doesn’t want to do 50/50 custody, to which I have no idea why.

RevolutionaryBar4530 · 2021-07-01T15:41:46+00:00

A) Is filing first really an advantage?

B) I’m in a state that requires one year of separation before filing? Is there any way I can use this to my advantage? Or does this give her the upper hand?

Thanks.

catchpull · 2021-07-02T02:09:39+00:00

I’m reading through your info and comments. Want to say a deep Thank you for putting out your knowledge here to help men.

Richguard23 · 2021-07-02T12:04:53+00:00

I’m preparing to divorce my wife of 29 years. There are no custody issues, one more semester of college for my youngest. I have spoken to an attorney and he indicated that since my wife has not worked for 20 years she is entitled to support up until i retire (I’m 54). He indicated that support would be approximately 1/3 of my net income. We split all the assets, but after the divorce the 401Ks and other retirement accounts are split and that i will have no obligation to contribute to her retirement after that. He said that when i retire we modify the support agreement. Does this sound accurate? What about social security payments after retirement, is my ex entitled to a portion? Thx

EggsForTheBlind · 2021-07-05T16:44:12+00:00

If I’m non-resident of the USA and don’t live there at all, and I want to divorce my US wife, is she able to actually get anything from me? Alimony or any of my assets? We have no kids, shared property or anything. Have you ever experienced anything like this?

fnbob917 · 2021-07-01T02:57:30+00:00

Is there any recourse against bitter women who just wanted to screw me over? I’m broke and homeless and she couldn’t care less. Is there any type of recourse I can pursue?

HelixFish · 2021-07-01T03:06:34+00:00

What state did you practice in? Curious if your knowledge would be relevant to CA?

I came out of my divorce pretty well, used a mediator and things were basically 50/50. We share income information (it’s in the decree) and I run new numbers every year for child support, this always benefits her but I’m still paying very little. What would the consequences be if I just paid what was listed in the divorce decree? I’m assuming she’d need to file a bunch of things and then the court would make the new amount official. I’m not planning on doing this, as she’d just spend money on lawyers instead of the kids.

Q: How would you calculate a post decree spousal support buy out when no end of support is indicated? Decree did not indicate any end to spousal support (17 year marriage). However, I bought her out post divorce: I ran all the numbers and settled on a sum that seemed fair to me and she agreed. In your experience how would you calculate a buyout like this? I’d like to know how I did.

Facers70 · 2021-07-01T03:37:19+00:00

How did/do you feel about being a divorce lawyer? Everyone else has their opinions on em, and I am sure you've heard it all. But how do YOU feel about it?

Crafty-Hovercraft788 · 2021-07-01T04:22:41+00:00

If both parties can sit down and write everything up, what’s been your experience with early intervention mediation? We’ve got three kids, a house and my 403(b) to split up but we’ve already talked how we want 99% of it to go.

WartimeDad · 2021-07-01T04:28:52+00:00

Do Judges have bias often?

dday_throwaway3 · 2021-07-01T11:42:26+00:00

Two questions, in the context of IL:

Do you agree with "Status quo is the greatest bias of the court"?
Are there any situations which you advise clients to work with CPS? I've read the following advice and CPS seems like it's a no-win situation even if the other parent is the transgressor: http://forum.mensdivorce.com/viewtopic.php?f=7&t=81655

Trytosurvive · 2021-07-02T04:19:18+00:00

My ex states it's too expensive to live in the major city we lived in prior to divorce. I cannot move due to major health issues where I have to stay near the major hospital. Do I have much chance of fighting the move and her taking child? Child lives with mum on weekdays and me on weekends.

pegleg_legal · 2021-07-02T04:59:44+00:00

I'm over a year divorced now, but saw this thread and had a question. My estranged wife was in a different state (where she filed) but wanted me to come visit her 'without attachment' for a few days. At the time I assumed it was for sex/and or attention but looking back that line of thinking just seems...out of place. Could there have been a legal reason for this? We had no kids and zero money. Edit: I told her to pound sand and denied her invitation.

Tmashadi · 2021-07-12T05:45:57+00:00

First thanks for your time. I'm in Seattle area and have no clue how to pick a lawyer. My wife doesn't want any custody and is a terrible mother in general which pretty much started our problems. Ever since she got done with head to toe plastic surgeries She just wants to take off with her new, 10 years younger than her, boyfriend and kids don't fit. I know people throw around the term narcassist alot these days without much understanding of the disorder but I've worked with psych patients and my wife is a 10 out of 10 narcassist. She has threatened to ask for some custody if I don't give her everything she wants cause she knows I'll end up with kids anyways as I couldn't let them go through the hardship and she'd gladly send them over. Any advice on how to choose a lawyer? Do I have any chance revealing the truth and maybe keep a bit over 50% of my house at least if I have paid every single bill and expense forever, wouldn't ask her for nothing in future, and show that she has never shared her income with the household? My kids would be devastated to lose all friends too after going through our issues and if I sell I can't afford to live where I live.

nitrous_nit · 2021-07-04T06:11:25+00:00

How does Alimony and CS calculation work in terms of income imputation?

Wife works every now and then , collects unemployment, works bare minimum just to qualify for unemployment. This is for IL.

She has a history of working long hours prior to when this pandemic started and her excuse to not work full time hours is “takes care of the kids “ , while I work remote full time home, and she is either sleeping or just watching tv.

Richguard23 · 2021-07-07T16:29:27+00:00

Need some urgent advice. Big argument with the wife. When i said i was leaving she grabbed my laptop, my employer provided laptop, i wrestled with her a little to get it back. She claims she has a bruise or something….but i didnt see it. Not sure what to do, i want to get the fuck out of here…but afraid she will call the cops and file the police.

Should i call the police and let them know what happened? Hold out until I’m sure there is no bruise?

I'm a recovering divorce lawyer - AMA

Comments

Peter Pan

Title	I'm a recovering divorce lawyer - AMA
Author	pegleg_legal
Upvotes	27
Comments	74
Date	July 1, 2021 2:35 AM UTC (5 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/obcdho/im_a_recovering_divorce_lawyer_ama/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/im-a-recovering-divorce-lawyer-ama.816601 https://theredarchive.com/post/816601