I had this thought last night as I was falling asleep. I realized that lately I’ve felt more at ease with my body and more relaxed. I’ve been able to really see myself when I look in the mirror without dysmorphic thoughts. It dawned on me that because I’ve been single during the entirety of lockdown my body has just been for me, for the first time ever. No LVM dad commenting on me gaining or losing weight, no LVM boyfriend saying he values me when actually he just sees my body as an object for his pleasure, no LVM men on the street gawking at me, no LVM co-workers finding new and creative ways to touch my boobs/ass while making it look like an “accident.” Also less pick mes who scan me up and down or comment on my weight or pull their LVM boyfriends away from me. I’ve started really valuing my body in a whole new way since there hasn’t been a constant barrage of shit I’ve had to wade through simply for existing. It’s been this new kind of peace I haven’t felt since before I went through puberty. As things open up I want to keep this peace with me even when encountering LVM and pick me behavior because I can’t control any of that. Does anyone else feel this too?
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