Hey all,

I was reading an article on age difference in marriages and its impact on women. If you want to read the article its right here: The greater a wife’s age gap from her husband, the lower her life expectancy. (However, it is just based on danish couples, and not broken down between race or class within couples. But it also uses data on almost 2 million couples).

The article concluded that the bigger the age difference between wives and husband the bigger the detriment this was to women's health. Age difference had a net negative affect on women regardless if the husband was younger or older. It disproved that marrying a younger man would have positive affects on women's longevity. In addition, marrying an older men also shortens a wife's lifespan. The bigger the age difference "from the husband, the lower the wife's life expectancy".

However, "the mortality risk of a husband who is seven to nine years older than his wife is reduced by eleven percent compared to couples where both partners are the same age." And when women marry younger men who are 7-9 years younger, the data concludes that it "increases their mortality risk by 20 percent."

The researchers try to pin this on some of "norm violation" when a women marries a younger husband. This means that people are less likely to give them social support, since a women marrying younger is a "social wrong", which helps longevity.

However, what is actually going on is that younger men have lesser quantity & quality of the social support network that women usually have. Thus, when they come into a relationship they are not offering the same value to women as women are to men. An older men, just don't have any. "On average, men have fewer and lesser quality social contacts than those of women," says Drefahl. Thus, unlike the benefits of a younger wife, a younger husband wouldn't help extend the life of his older wife by taking care of her, going for a walk with her and enjoying late life together. She already has friends for that. The older man, however, doesn't."

Lesson to the FDS community: In dating, it behooves women to find men who are exactly the same age - "an older husband shortens her life, and a younger one even more so." Men aren't coming in with the same level and quality of social and family relationships as women. Keep this in mind when vetting men. Ask about their quality and longevity of their social networks. Besides the important interpersonal qualities of men, age, and financial security, their social/family relationship will also impact your health and security. If you decide to continue a relationship with an age gap, be conscious of the quantity & quality of social/familial network and its overall positive impact on you. These relationships should be carrying even bigger and stronger networks since the data clearly shows that bigger age difference is detrimental to your health. Stay strong, stay vigilant, stay ruthless.

**So with that being said, I also want to take an informal poll of the FDS community in long term relationships. I want to see, for those in long-term relationships, who have been together for at least a 1 year, what is the age difference between you and your boyfriend/husband? Please answer if your relationship meets the standards of a HV relationship. And it doesnt matter if your bf/HB is younger or older -- I'd like to see the average difference regardless.

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****Preliminary Results!! The poll is still open - so here's hoping more FDS'ers will vote.

As of Oct. 13 8:27 pm PST - Total Votes: 1.1k votes

1 yr - 297 votes

2yrs - 145

3yrs - 171

4-5yrs - 198

6-9 yrs - 99

10+yrs - 142

View Poll