How many other gay men are here?

Practical_Ad3342 · 2024-12-05T14:24:41+00:00

I always find the semi-obsession some women have over men being gay or not pretty creepy.

No-Knowledge-8867 · 2024-12-05T14:21:02+00:00

I think you might be surprised. I've seen lots of gay men commenting/posting, and this sub is full of ex-feminists (a lot of them still trying to hold on to aspects of liberalism while the majority of the left keeps trying to push them away.)

Aggressive-Bad-7761 · 2024-12-05T14:34:29+00:00

Yeah my assessment of yall is this.. women love how a lot of gay men “perform femininity” for lack of a better phrase.. adore the ‘performance’ because they see it as evidence that women aren’t inherently one way or another if there are men who are similar to them. Also see gay men as ‘non threatening’ men and like that no gay man is ever tryna smash.

I also think though that women are homophobic, would never date a bi man generally speaking.. get the “ick” from gay guys and find them to have emasculated themselves. Often women will tell straight guys they’re “gay” or “f slur” as an insult.. women especially young women love emasculating insults and homophobic insults are in their repertoire lol

EDIT: just a typo

No_Reaction_2168 · 2024-12-05T15:08:09+00:00

I'm a straight guy but I have a soft spot for gay guys because I know how shit a lot of you have it. Gay women are readily accepted by society whereas gay men are still looked at as if they're nasty or something, which I think is unfair.

GhostWCoffee · 2024-12-05T14:34:36+00:00

So far, I've only seen acceptance and respectful interactions towards our gay brothers on this subreddit. One thing you will find out about this place, is that we're actually more open to opposing views. We tend to listen to them.

New-Distribution6033 · 2024-12-05T14:46:09+00:00

Last I checked, gay men are still men.

pearl_harbour1941 · 2024-12-05T14:45:35+00:00

I'm straight but I have quite a lot of gay friends. None of them are overly feminine and there's no way you could tell outwardly that they are gay.

I think women have a strange fetish for gay men, almost as if you will perform both traditional masculinity (i.e. protect her when she's vulnerable) and femininity (she can gossip with you about gf stuff). All the while there's no way it will get complicated by either one of you wanting to have sex with each other. So she falls in love with you, just to complicate things, and it is even possible for her to harbor a secret fantasy of "turning you straight".

Just my experience of watching things happen in front of me.

Dance_Sufficient · 2024-12-05T14:53:28+00:00

Came out as a teenager in HS. The amount of blatant fetishization by teachers (male and female) as well as the other details that stay between my therapist and I was overwhelming.

RevolutionaryCry7230 · 2024-12-05T15:39:51+00:00

I'm straight but I find that many of the girls and women I've met have a hatred towards gays. I was in prison for a short time when I was 20 and it became common knowledge in the place where I lived. I was sent to prison for having had sex with my girl friend.

Now I find that there are some girls who pass really mean comments to me like - 'did you get AIDS while in prison?"

I find that gay men are much more understanding than women and most of them don't care that I've been in prison especially when they know why I was there.

mwfairc · 2024-12-05T15:32:39+00:00

You're still a man and that's what this sub is. Gay, straight, doesn't matter. Society see's you as a male and we all face a lot of the same problems regardless of sexual orientation.

As far as your political view, who cares?? Views may lean more to the right here but I think most men are more openly willing to talk politics though simply because we are more logical than emotional in nature. From what I've seen, the left is far more intolerant of opposing views than the right, but again, that's my experience.

ZappProgeny · 2024-12-05T17:44:05+00:00

Fellow gay man here. I've seen women abuse their power while practically using straight men for target practice. I'm reclaiming my identity from the LGBT propaganda machine and supporting my fellow men here. I hope more follow in your footsteps.

Illuminati8339yt · 2024-12-05T17:22:33+00:00

I’m a gay guy and I absolutely do not fall into the role of being a female sidekick. I’m just my own person

IcyNote5717 · 2024-12-05T17:57:22+00:00

I’m also gay, and very much on the left. The constant lack of solidarity or even an ounce of compassion I’ve seen from so many women is what finally pushed me to join spaces like these.

Huckleberry1340 · 2024-12-05T20:00:01+00:00

My identity is changing atm (gay to bi) but so many times in the past I felt almost used by women, like I am an accessory, the gay best friend. For this reason I have stopped continuing friendships that seem one sided. I feel in the past when I was apart of straight female groups I was the jester or clown, someone to say how great their makeup is, what outfit looks good and a source of comedy or someone to laugh at, like a circus animal. Some only seemed to accept me if I was “acting gay or outrageous”, it’s like some of them expected me to be a stereotype. I’m not a victim but realize that stupidity and ignorance knows no gender or identity. If you meet me on the street I’d say a quarter of people would think I was gay or bi, not super obvious but there are subtle cues.

Which on another note is interesting since some women treated me like a straight white man, even though I am multi racial and queer. Ig that’s the biggest reason I’m a supporter of men’s rights, being treated like a straight white man has opened my eyes to how shitty they are treated by society.

titannish · 2024-12-06T03:03:58+00:00

I'm a gay man. I'm against feminism because modern feminism never addresses gay rights issues and often exclude transgenders. You won't even see feminist pages on social media post about gay rights or feminine men. However these women are very quick to bring up mansplaining and manspreading whenever possible 🙄

KarlJohanson · 2024-12-05T17:43:58+00:00

I'm a liberal as well.
Oxford Languages "Liberal: willing to respect or accept behavior or opinions different from one's own; open to new ideas. 2. relating to or denoting a political and social philosophy that promotes individual rights, civil liberties, democracy, and free enterprise."

RaccoonIyfe · 2024-12-05T23:02:17+00:00

I find that whenever i refer to this sub to make a point, i get a BJ less that 15 mins after. This sub rules

comeplaykill · 2024-12-05T14:22:30+00:00

I'm a bi male and I'm pretty far left but I'm not a Gen Z-er so don't hold that against me. I know there are shades of grey everywhere.

kuzism · 2024-12-05T14:38:28+00:00

Medium-Knowledge4230 · 2024-12-05T21:40:26+00:00

I'm bissexual.

zackaryyrakcaz · 2024-12-06T03:14:06+00:00

Same. Also gay, also wish for more political freedom. I wish Fathers had the same rights, respect, and love that mothers have. I wish genital mutilation was illegal on all children, boys or girls. I wish we were all allowed to express the full range of emotion, and I wish we would all be equally protected under the law. And, more controversial note: I wish that, in war, we would not hold males forced to fight and die as de-facto slaves to a different standard than the adult women who vote for them to fight in the first place.

TrilIias · 2024-12-06T04:22:58+00:00

Gay man here. As far as I can tell there's actually quite a lot of us here.

Balthazar-Bux · 2024-12-07T21:21:44+00:00

I hear you, brother. Feel the same exact way. A lot of other gay men forget what they have between their legs too often. I do not understand why they refer to each other as "girl" or "sis." It's blows my mind.

-who_are_u- · 2024-12-05T14:37:48+00:00

I like pans. But I mostly go my own way nowadays so I don't notice much meaningful impact from it, positive or negative.

RevolutionaryCry7230 · 2024-12-05T16:57:13+00:00

I wonder how many straight man would say in court that they are gay if a woman falsely accused them of some sexual wrongdoing.

shadowguyver · 2024-12-05T18:58:57+00:00

Pan here.

OsadShadoww · 2024-12-05T21:35:43+00:00

Bi man, hi

Aqn95 · 2024-12-05T22:42:40+00:00

Me.. hi I guess

MaximumTangerine5662 · 2024-12-06T03:17:31+00:00

I mean I'm gay so idk but my country most people are closeted or either don't really talk about it.

Ok_Figure_5702 · 2024-12-06T05:39:32+00:00

I am straight myself but as far as this sub is concerned it does not discriminate against straight/gay or any other. This sub fights for men's rights and activism and doesn't matter whether you are straight or gay. You are as much of a man as a straight guy is and so I don't see any difference, moreover I wish I would have been gay, sure gay guys do have huge issues in terms of rights and acceptance but still it's better than forming relationships with some females. Unfortunately sexual orientation isn't a choice

YetAnotherCommenter · 2024-12-07T02:07:29+00:00

Bisexual, but you're totally right about how women objectify gay men (see them as purse dogs and automatic 'besties' and all the benefits of an orbiter but without sexual tension), and society's idea that gay men should just be women's auxiliaries.

ReveredIrreverentRev · 2024-12-05T15:56:20+00:00

Society doesn't expect gay men to act like women - not anymore. That's a really dated trope. Society expects everyone to not be able to tell, to "pass." Not sure if it's better or worse than the filter one gets from being flamboyant. When it's obvious you know right away who the enemy is. It's when you're months into a relationship and it comes out, it's actually like a coming out, and then yeah, some of what you're trying to say applies sometimes. But it's getting better

Apocafeller · 2024-12-05T16:48:04+00:00

Not me, I’m deeply closeted

Aldonio · 2024-12-05T17:16:36+00:00

It doesn't what society expects from you, what matters is what do YOU expect from yourself.

Society can get f*cked.

Quinlov · 2024-12-05T20:51:55+00:00

Me, when I encounter feminists they are always totally shooketh to find out that I don't blindly worship women. Even though it makes literally zero sense for me to do so because it ain't exactly like I'm trying to get some pussy is it but yeah

Fizz_sucks · 2024-12-06T00:19:18+00:00

I am queer and trans.

xxTheMagicBulleT · 2024-12-06T09:02:49+00:00

Hmm hard question to answer expect not all that much. Cause most people that end up hear got wronged by laws our courts by women.

But I geass there are some gay things that has also very much affected by women. Like I hear a frend of mine that I have been frends with most my life only much later told me he was gay. Never had any isue with it. But he told me that like.

Gay places like gay bars and other more aimed for gay communities. Getting heavily infiltrated by straight women.

And my frend does not look gay gay. Or acts it overly. So its often hard to see who is gay and who is not why for gay communities haveing special meeting places of like minded people is very very important to him and others like him.

But he told me many stories that straight women going to gay bars and often realy nasty and mean. To the straight looking gay people. Cause they trying to act like there interested in the men to get free drinks and get there attention. But we'll they dont get it cause there gay obviously. But often a lot of drama and aditude about it.

So the straight women pushing gay people out of there own places.

But thats only think out the top of my mind that I would think he often complains about.

Cause it makes finding like minded people like him much harder. If you don't want to go true the internet and dating rabbit hole. What most people dont.

Maybe il talk about it more with him. Never realy comes up much about. We mostly just go out and have fun. Not really that much about discussion or other stuff.

Mostly if we meet each other its all about fun haveing abgood time and leave all the doom and gloom and problems at the door. And focus more at haveing a good time.

Even do im straight and have a wife he is gay and has a boyfriend. But his boyfriend is jealous of me will im a straight guy so have not spoke with him all that that much last 3 months. But think we are frends like 17 years. So over half my life. But he has always been more hush hush about his feelings about most things. Just know he has some women that realy claiming of him or his time. Or almost like a boyfriend style. So like small things I do know or hear but not all that much more

So this does seem interesting to me. Why gay people would be here. Beside the before example. Definitely peaks my interest.

Cause I like seeing and knowing the different viewpoints on the same thing I might look massively different at. And understanding people and getting more of a connection with different people.

So definitely will be reading the comments

Electric_Donut_Mouth · 2024-12-06T12:11:27+00:00

I scrolled a bit and didn’t see anyone else comment about him. There is a guy named Jack Donovan and he is according to Wikipedia “is an American far-right writer and activist. A self-described masculinist, Donovan was an influential figure in the alt-right until he disavowed the movement in 2017.”I only have a peripheral understanding of him… and as I look him up I’m like “yikes”.

But why I brought him up is he is big into masculinity and talks about when he first came out feeling like he needed to act feminine and eventually was like “no I am attracted to men and being a man, so I want other masculine men”

I think you are right that there is a certain level pidgeon holing (“that’s what he said”) for gay men including being feminine and liberal. I wonder if this is men pushing your community away. I think the current generation is more accepting of gay males as part of male groups so maybe the male community can start bringing gay men back into the fold.

Appropriate-Use3466 · 2024-12-07T17:45:51+00:00

Gay guy here :)

Razorbladekandyfan · 2024-12-07T18:02:42+00:00

Gay MRA here. Gay men are Also affected by misandry. The movement should cover gay men too.

Living_Accountant_67 · 2024-12-08T09:45:39+00:00

I'm a gay man, who used to quite actively support women until I saw how hypocritical and deceitful their female nature actually is, now I have been here to support my own gender to at least contend against the toxic feminism today.

Ok-Manufacturer-7842 · 2024-12-08T19:12:52+00:00

Bisexual so I might count for a half.

Legitimate_Fan_4977 · 2024-12-08T21:08:47+00:00

I am a gay man of color. Was adopted to Sweden and grew up in Stockholm. And a liberal cliche. I grew up in a feminist house hold. Know everything about feminism on an academic level and was surrounded by feminists, til I started studying psycology at university. We had a statistic course. Litterally all the statistics show the opposite of what women and feminists claim. Which made me question my life and I realized: Litterally every single person who bullied me both for being gay and for being dark skinned/haired, were women. But I was so brainwashed I blamed it all on men. White men. One of the statistics I remember from the university. "Women are punished with 30 to 40 procent less sentences for the same crimes they commit" Which is the explaination on why women are seen as angels even though they are the bad guys of the society. And they be like" But men sat that system up" Ok but are women oppressed by that system or men? The worst part is that they put words like "mysogini" or "feminism" before their bullying or racism or homophobic behaviors and cry and get away with everything they do. Right now I came into a point in my life where I can't stand women anymore. I don't even want to have eye contact with them. They annoy the hell out of me. And I don't get straight men either. They treat really avarege, uninteresting, often ugly women like princesses, just because they can have sex with them. Even though those women treat them and all the other men like garbage. Why? Is it worthed? Just for sex and conventions?

AskingToFeminists · 2024-12-05T14:43:38+00:00

Bi man, strongly left leaning in a country where the US left looks like our right.

Let's nationalise the infrastructures and strategical companies. Private interests have no business making money out of our nuclear power plants, our highways, our trains which were built by us and for us, using our tax money.

Let's create strong workers unions that will be able to stand up against companies and their exploitative practices.

Let's replace the election of representatives elected amongst (highly corruptible) professional politicians regulated by texts written by professional politicians, to have a system of randomly selected citizens writing the laws to be voted by citizens, and checked by bodies of randomly selected citizens, with limits on political powers written by the people directly and controlled only by the people directly. That way, instead of an oligarchy controlled by a handful of billionaires we may have a shot at a true democracy, ruled by the people for the people.

This kind of things.

And I am not sure liberals are that rare amongst MRAs, depending on what you mean by the term. The very nature of men's right advocacy is pretty liberal, wanting to get rid of the gender roles that confine men, to afford them protections to the same extent women are afforded protections, etc. Feminists are more conservative, when it comes to men's role, and I would even argue that feminism and traditionalism stem from the same root

RevolutionaryCry7230 · 2024-12-05T23:00:40+00:00

"society expects you, as a gay man, to act like a woman,"

This is ridiculous. I know straight men who are not very masculine in the conventional sense. I think that there is a word for them 'metrosexual' and it means that they are straight in the sexual department but at he same time they like nice clothes etc. I can't see why a man cannot like good clothes.

Personally, I am not like that. In fact I'm often told that I do not take care of my looks when it comes to clothes etc. But guess what? It's straight friends who have passed hints suggesting that I wear nicer clothes etc. It was never gay men who made comments about what I wear!

I've had sex with gay men for money. What surprises me to this day is that some of the gay men are the complete opposite of what the media shows us. There was this guy - maybe in his early 30s - who is a semi pro footballer and he's gay. I would not have guessed hadn't he told me.

Huffers1010 · 2024-12-05T17:00:51+00:00

I suspect there's lots of people here that you'd call liberal. I'm from a major developed country that isn't the USA and as such my politics is probably vastly left of centre from what the average American is used to.

I take the view that much of modern identity politics is neither progressive, liberal, nor left-of-centre. Making everything about race, gender and sexuality is not a liberal position. It's a hard right position.

ColPugno · 2024-12-05T17:19:11+00:00

I'm curious if you're an LGBT type gay or just gay gay?

Small_Case3670 · 2024-12-05T22:11:45+00:00

No im a girl, I don’t see no obsession idk what I’m saying but I mean idk I heard of the stereotype but it’s not true

HonestlyKindaOverIt · 2024-12-06T12:56:29+00:00

Gay guy here. It’s funny, because I walk a fine line between not being “one of the boys” but also “not one of the girls”. I think as gay men, we’re often outsiders, and I don’t mean that in a “victim mentality” kind of way, more of a factual one.

I align myself to men, because I am one, and yet I know I’m never just going to be one of the guys which kinda sucks honestly. That said, a lot of the issues I face are because I’m a man, not because I’m gay. I frequently argue that being gay is easier than being straight in current year, and that’s a hill I’m willing to die on.

I’m not going to be anyone’s “sidekick”. I have too many of my own opinions for that.

InPrinciple63 · 2024-12-06T13:53:54+00:00

I think society misunderstands the reality of diversity: sexual orientation is only one characteristic that can extend from exclusively homosexual to exclusively heterosexual, with varying proportions of bisexuality between them; however this is only for sexual orientation and other behavioural characteristics can also span a spectrum from stereotypically masculine to stereotypically feminine. As a consequence, a man can be sexually attracted to other men, but also be a screaming queen to a hyper-masculine expression: there is no one stereotypical "gay" man, but society seems to have chosen a single point in the matrix of diverse possibilities to represent them.

However, the diversity doesn't stop there: the primary mode of sexuality for men is recreational sex for pleasure, only a tiny portion of that is usually related to procreation. Since pleasure is mainly experienced by stimulating erogenous zones, it doesn't really matter who or what is stimulating them. Thus it is quite possible for men to enjoy sex with other men but not be homosexual or even gay. For some men their sexual orientation may get in the way, but I don't believe every man is concerned by that to the same extent, and then there is society's attempts to entrench homophobia to keep men from exploring other possibilities. I mean society attempted to deliberately suppress masturbation from the 1700s until relatively recently, which shows what was thought of male sexual expression at least.

Both men and women should have a right to sexual expression and choice over sex, which seems like a conundrum superficially, because mens sexual expression is controlled by womens choice. However, the right to an expression is a different matter to the implementation of that expression and both can coexist without impinging on women's rights to choose, by exploring options not constrained by womens choice. Prostitution is one such option (where a person has chosen to accept sex for money), so is sex with other men or achieving heights of pleasure within oneself: women do not have an actual monopoly, only an assumed one if we only look within the box.

Men should have the right to biological sexual expression, not merely its suppression because it conflicts with a woman's right to choose over sex: the two things can co-exist as long as an implementation of mens sexual expression is explored beyond simply being hostage to women's choice, whilst also honouring womens choice.

I don't see diverse mens rights being any different, however I don't believe they have as many issues as with women, because men are generally more compatible with each other from a shared experience of male sexual pleasure and what achieves that. Women expecting men to behave a certain way for their benefit is a form of entitlement.

I believe the USA Constitution at least upholds the right of association, so society should not have any expectations beyond the autonomy of people in that respect. The right of association does not mean being able to expect or demand association: other people also have the right of association or to refuse it.

Ryuhi · 2024-12-06T19:19:29+00:00

I think as a gay man you are spared a lot of the big Me ‘s rights issues, but you also come from a standard of how relationships usually work where a lot of the kind of bad female relationship behavior just seems especially egregious.

On the other hand, lots of the general male specific issues like, say, draft laws and the general societal attitudes still affect you.

Add to that that as a gay guy, you potentially have the greatest appreciation for men as such as both your ingroup and the group you are attracted to.

…so based on that, it should make you very open to MRA.

And widespread anti gay attitude among men just are not much of a thing anymore. Most of the other gay guys I know have plenty of straight male friends. The whole idea that you would disproportionally hang out with women and thus might have more of a pro female attitude and loyalty applies to fewer and fewer gay men. Same with the “bad relationship with the father”.

I as a gay guy am just intrinsically more pro men.

limpDIK · 2024-12-07T04:34:11+00:00

Not gay here. But respect sexual orientation.

No-Caterpillar3645 · 2024-12-07T15:23:29+00:00

hi, gay man here, i don’t interact like that with women at all but people think that i act like that with women yes. they are simply the most casual of friends to me

Eden_Company · 2024-12-05T15:27:22+00:00

Whaaaaat? I'm like I really don't care. Just leave me alone in my personal life and I'm good lol.

Emo_Otaku616 · 2024-12-05T20:45:22+00:00

You're still a man, but I do gotta say it's a lot different, I can't imagine how annoying it must be to have a bunch of women stereotype you, but I do think that gay men have it a little easier than straight men (obviously not in the entire world, but women most women would probably feel more safe around a gay man instead of a straight one).

Title	How many other gay men are here?
Author	amamartin999
Upvotes	183
Comments	136
Date	December 5, 2024 2:16 PM UTC (1 year ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1h7a4za/how_many_other_gay_men_are_here/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/how-many-other-gay-men-are-here.1537675 https://theredarchive.com/post/1537675

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