An AFC's Guide to Texting

social_scrying · 2014-03-21T21:45:16+00:00

I understand where you are coming from with this texting advice, however, texting technique is completely dependent on your current relation with the girl. If you have already build a lot of rapport, gone out with the girl a few times, and have shared a significant amount of time together, texting will help you to keep you in her conscious thoughts. This, however, is entering into the realm of relationship building, which is not necessarily the same as attraction building.

A PUA will tell you this: text minimally, and only text to set plans. PUAs claim this creates intrigue.

PUAs do tell you to text minimally, but I am not aware that this is the reason for that. Keeping texting very brief has many points, but there are two main ones:

1) you can not establish emotional connection through text messaging. This is by far the biggest point. You may be able to elicit previous emotional memories from the girl by texting her, but building new emotional memories via text is very ineffective. If a girl can not physically experience you in person (voice tonality, eye contact, physical touch, shared experiences, etc), she can not effectively build an emotional connection to you.

2) Texting can yield small gains, but can yield massive losses. Girls dont build a lot of attraction towards you if you text her the perfect message, but girls certainly get turned off if you say the wrong thing. Keeping it simple minimizes your chances of fucking things up because she interpreted your seemingly playful text message the wrong way. Even if you are the most empathetic person on earth, you can not control or completely identify the emotional state of a girl via text.

Everyone has there own experiences when it comes to texting. Personally, I dont really see the point of longer conversations, as the merits of texting are straight up trumped by building better rapport and getting better logistics. If texting works for you, use it. If you dont know if texting is for you, I dont recommend it.

HappyJerk · 2014-03-21T21:30:05+00:00

This post illustrates a big problem with the PUA/seduction thing. You are trying to give people rules. There are no fucking rules. Texting is literally a case-by-case thing. How much and what you should text somebody is completely dependent on the nature of your relationship with her, how long you've known her, how much interest she's shown in you, how much interest you've shown in her, the kind of person she is, the kind of person you are, how hot she is, whether you've fucked her, etc... You have to feel it out on a case by case basis.

All that said, it is GENERALLY better to keep texting to logistics. Too many guys fuck up every day texting and end up looking needy, looking corny, etc... My strategy is to control the interaction by telling her when I'll text her. When I meet her, I say "it was great to meet you, I'll text you this week for drinks." And then at drinks I say "ok, I'll text tomorrow to go to a concert," etc... That way, if I don't text for a while, I don't look distant, I just am doing what I said I would do.

GeorgeWashingmachine · 2014-03-21T21:14:18+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Nutchos · 2014-03-21T21:41:52+00:00

The extent of my texting:

"Hey! A couple of us are planning to _____, you should come!"

"Wanna get together this _____ for ____?"

Etc.

icevermin · 2014-03-21T21:06:02+00:00

This isnt AFC. this is normal and what the standard should be.

malti001 · 2014-03-21T23:04:05+00:00

Is it just me or is texting kind of redundant? Where I'm from, it's usually just messaging each other back and forth on Facebook/WhatsApp/Snapchat (which goes against the "rules" of texting as this could go on for hours if she's receptive).

Texting is just used to set up dates and stuff like "I'm gonna be late", "You should join us at X!", or whatever. Besides not a lot of people are on contract here, so texting wouldn't really work if one party ran out of credit.

Spore2012 · 2014-03-21T22:33:30+00:00

TL;DR Texting is a tool to be used mainly only for specific reasons.

A- If it's too loud for either of you to talk or hear.

B- If it's too quiet for either of you to talk.

C- If you can't talk and just leave a note/message to talk later.

D- If you are sending pics or jokes or random stuff at each other all day (like a facebook, AIM convo or something)

Texting is for the weak.

Everytime you think about texting, all you have to do is ask yourself this question: "Would I call her to talk about this? Is it worth calling her about?" Basically if your short quip or whatever would be awkward and unwarranted in a phone call, then don't text it. Save it all up, and call her about it all at once later.

Beiber_h0le69 · 2014-03-21T23:14:59+00:00

I always found that often times if you want to hook up with a girl you gotta put in the work during the week to hook up with them on the weekend. Ill text a girl during the week to setup plans and talk to em. I've found that it shows you're interested in them and potentially want something more than just hooking up which they like, even if all you do is hookup. I don't know what you guys feel about it.

Kaeloso · 2014-03-22T03:46:25+00:00

my texting game is awful, i guess i send texts that uninteresting or text that are plain boring, because I get texts that either are one word phrases or like shes drunk texting me. I guess the same goes if I'm okcupid.com but your trying to move on to getting her number.

aalewis____ · 2014-03-22T06:45:28+00:00

relationship process

We are looking for fucks not relationships here

wrdp · 2014-03-22T07:12:44+00:00

If you have to confirm a date you didn't close properly.

Texting is a waste of time and you should rarely do it with a girl. Sure it works for some guys, but I prefer to save all my conversation for when we're together in real life, it makes for more interesting dates...

You call a girl once a week to setup a date (time, date, location) 4 days in advance. Girls worth your time will remember the date you set and will usually text you to confirm (or cancel/not show) 3-4 hours before the date. That's the typical process.

ThePUA_Baddie · 2014-03-23T02:33:08+00:00

I wish there'd be a guide on how to get a girl who you've approached in the day to respond to your first text lol

Calamash · 2014-03-21T22:09:48+00:00

Is this real? Or is this a joke? Because some of the things in there are borderline cringy.

Title	An AFC's Guide to Texting
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	155
Comments	55
Date	March 21, 2014 8:57 PM UTC (12 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/210z1b/an_afcs_guide_to_texting/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/an-afcs-guide-to-texting.1367896 https://theredarchive.com/post/1367896

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