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View 1 posts and 2,547 comments by sicrm on TheRedPill subreddit and various other subreddits related to The Red Pill community.
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78

sicrm/r/MGTOW24/12/20 01:17 AM
Showing the 1,000 most recent of 2,547 comments.
Upvotes Comment on Subreddit Date (UTC)
7

anyway, I stopped going to jiu jitsu a year and a half ago. Life got into the way. I got too high position at my job, too much responsibility, my routine suffered. I started bringing stress home. My muscles atrophied. My belly got fat. I was 90 kg tall guy who could fuck anybody up. Now I am insecure and sleep deprived, feeling weak next to other men. Small things go into arguments, but I am trying to fix my night owl schedule. I remember only bits of jiu jitsu now. Feel like I lost the 6 years …
/r/askMRP11/02/26 11:34 AM
3

Start by dealing with one problem at a time. See if there’s any free legal aid places or lawyers willing to give you a free consult and see if you have any options. In the meantime, find ways to keep yourself busy could be hobbies, working out, looking up ways to save/make money, or joining a club.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/25 01:45 PM
0

You married and had a kid with someone you shouldn’t have even dated because you had no relationship experience. Now you have some and know what to look out for so keep your eyes open if you do date again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/25 03:59 PM
8

One question to always keep in mind, do you want to spend the rest of your life dealing with this?
/r/Divorce_Men23/05/25 03:21 PM
2

You need a lawyer that’s better connected and willing to match her level of annoying
/r/Divorce_Men18/05/25 10:32 AM
11

You have an opportunity people going a bitter divorce would dream of.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/25 10:45 AM
15

Ruling like this are why some people cash out and go to a handful of countries
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 09:49 PM
9

It seems like you’re already getting what you could’ve done differently but look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. Also learn to love being single. What you’re willing to even think about tolerating completely changes when you already love your life.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/25 01:06 PM
21

Unless it’s physically not possible for you to have 50/50 custody make that an non negotiable and start looking for lawyers. also throw yourself in exercising, hobbies, learning new skills, and spending time with your kids. if you don’t keep yourself busy when you’re going through this you’re going to drive yourself crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/25 06:55 PM
8

Her life isn't going the way she hoped, so now she's looking for more, and you're the "easiest" way to get it. Buckle up.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/25 03:58 PM
6

You're owning your part in it which is a good first step. All you can do now is keep being there for your kids and shoot for a fair split in the divorce. Throwing yourself on your sword won't change anything. Go for 50/50 if it's possible with your job and work on establishing a co-parenting relationship. Also, lean into hobbies, working out, and learning new skills personally or for work to help keep yourself busy. Idle thoughts can drive you crazy, especially in the middle of a big change.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/25 02:10 PM
4

"I can’t afford the rent on our apartment alone for a year. I make $125k" Pay an aide to help you/ask a friend or family member, and start living within your means.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/25 10:28 PM
5

look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy. I get doing what you have to for your son, but outside of him, you need to put yourself first. be selfish and focus on things that make you happy.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/25 01:01 AM
9

classy family. call the cops next time (hopefully there isn’t) like others said and be happy she’s gone for good
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/25 09:58 AM
6

one step at a time. step one is getting the boys living with you in official writing. step two is figuring out how to deal with her wanting them in Peru this summer.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/25 09:19 AM
8

8 hours of travel every two weeks is brutal. your best options since moving or fighting more isn't an option is probably either: 1) find a place you can stay over the weekends so it's 8 hours of travel a month instead of 16. 2) try to push for longer times with them over breaks/summer instead of every other weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/25 10:52 PM
11

"she looked at me with cold heartless eyes. “I don’t love you anymore”" seriously consider getting DNA and STD tests. as other comments said, there's a good chance she's cheating on you, and who knows how long it's been going on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/25 12:51 PM
18

it might not matter, but show all that proof to your potential lawyers
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/25 10:52 PM
41

but my dad wasn't very open about his finance your dad gave you an example to follow.
/r/Divorce_Men24/02/25 12:34 PM
5

all of this was planned way ahead of time. look around for a lawyer you think will at least give you a shot that’s willing to work on contingency or be flexible with payments. in the meantime you need find ways to not go crazy. an outlet if you don’t have one already can help (fighting gym, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with, or a rage room especially if someone goes with you). if you go with a fighting gym tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until …
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/25 11:03 AM
4

start with DNA and STD tests then go from there. what you know now could be the tip of the iceberg. it’s possible this wasn’t the first time.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/25 03:36 AM
20

And I’m not up to anything funny etc. I just want you to know that - just in case you were ever wondering. words said by someone up to something funny.
/r/Divorce_Men12/02/25 03:22 PM
2

unless she tells she’s getting you something, don’t do it. and even if that happened, keep expectations low.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/25 12:58 PM
4

as long as you learn from it just look at it as a learning experience and move on
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/25 03:57 AM
6

divorce threats= marriage is over. assault also means your marriage is over. move accordingly or you’ll look back at this moment and pray for a time machine.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 01:03 PM
13

it’s hard to turn those feelings off so put it this way, she married you, had kids with you, and was supposed someone you grew old with. instead she slept with felon and put you and your kids at risk. then she still went after 50% of your pension when she could’ve forego it or took a lesser amount voluntary, don’t feel bad.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 11:14 AM
5

dating her gf is risky. if you’re already feeling she wants to move in then that’s not a good sign. focus on the divorce and keeping yourself busy (going to a fighting gym, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with, or a rage room especially if someone goes with you). if you go with a fighting gym tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/25 05:50 AM
2

as others said, you need a lawyer. she works for one of the biggest companies in the world, it’d be very hard for her to not have at least a great lawyer. spend your time free looking for the best lawyer you can afford or explains your search to find an contingency fee one.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/25 09:19 AM
3

start one step at a time. take the weekend to celebrate. then work on making a plan to get back the right track on track career next week.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/25 12:47 AM
1

nice and I meant in addition to the job you have now. it could be part time, contracting, weekends or nights.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/25 11:37 AM
6

sounds like it’s working out for her. for him, not so much.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 11:01 PM
12

I read a story a few days ago where a guy got hit the back of the head with an object a few times and almost died. he decided not to press charges and they did go through with a divorce. now he pays her child support and struggles to get by. being nice can be reciprocated to people who are nice to you, but if you’re nice to people who have shown you they want to do you harm, it will be viewed as weakness and they’ll try to exploit it.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 01:30 PM
5

it depends how you look at it. there are people who are getting divorced in their 60s+ who wish the divorce happened in their 40s instead. look into all options on the table. ways to pick up another job, how to save money such as meal prepping, and possibly renting until you could get better terms to buy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 01:21 PM
2

hire a lawyer if you don’t have one already. you can tell them a few things that are important to you asset/split wise. and let them do their job while you focus on dealing with cancer.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/25 12:28 PM
12

The simplest way to explain it is the tinglies. The guy who gives her the tinglies is almost never the guy who will marry her. Think of the classic story of a woman dating a guy and making him wait because she sees something serious with him while she sleeps with another guy who doesn’t take her on fancy dates.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/25 12:52 PM
11

1) tell his lawyer 2) listen to his lawyer 3) his lawyer will probably tell him to wait until the divorce is final
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/25 03:43 PM
6

So when we first started dating, she was pregnant with her exs kid and living with her mom with no real job. Mistake #1 While at this posting, i had to do my first deployment. I proposed to her as soon as i got back. Mistake #2 Fast forward a year, and we are married and she wants to join the military for a stable career. So she does and is gone for about 6 months. Shortly after she came back, she tells me that she no longer loves me. Now, i have a bunch of issues, one of which involves abandonm…
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/25 12:22 PM
2

you can book a consult with a divorce lawyer. you don’t have to tell anyone you’re doing it. it’ll give you a preview of what a divorce would look like and if you’re ready to work towards that path or if it’s better to stay at least for now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/25 01:24 AM
5

she has 0 respect for you and other comments pointed out why. spend more time becoming a better version of yourself than worrying about her so much and especially her kid. you have bigger issues to worry about.
/r/askMRP15/01/25 04:46 AM
6

the worst thing you can do is sit around, wallow, and worry about what she’s doing. find ways to keep yourself busy (going to the gym, picking up a hobby and joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). then when you have the time/means, pick somewhere you either always wanted to visit or haven’t been to in a while, spend a few days there to clear your head. if you can’t get away right now, you could look around on maps and pick a place/restaurant that looks interesting and…
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/25 02:29 PM
5

you need to focus on yourself right now, not dating. if you don’t like your current job, keep doing it for now while looking for a new one. think about the jobs you want to have and either build skills after work and then apply or start applying if you feel you can do them now. also work on getting better at interviews if you haven’t already.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 01:57 PM
13

she wants you to leave to bring her boyfriend friend over
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/24 01:53 PM
2

sadly, we’re in a space now if you do too much for someone and always compliment them they can take that for granted and get bored. then they chase someone who doesn’t do that but those people have been burned by relationships where they used to do that so they aren’t looking for anything serious more times than not. then they end up reaching out to you to try again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/24 01:26 PM
4

In half a year from now (next summer), this camping trip is going to take place again. What do? after she cheats on you you’re asking about something two seasons from now?
/r/askMRP26/12/24 12:25 PM
8

try to get back into running. it doesn’t have to ultra marathons to start. could be morning jogs
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/24 05:43 AM
1

talk to a lawyer before you say anything. after 20 years, things can escalate 20 when you say something so prepared .
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/24 12:51 PM
2

find ways to keep yourself busy (going to the gym, picking up a hobby and joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). then when you have the time/means, pick somewhere you either always wanted to visit or haven’t been to in a while, spend a few days there to clear your head. some people said getting a dog helps as well.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/24 01:12 PM
2

look up lawyers that have a history of reducing payments. you also have to weigh the pros and the cons. for example, you have to consider how much longer you have to pay if it’s not indefinite, lawyer fees, and if she’ll try to get it raised if you try to lower it.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/24 01:12 PM
2

My adult daughter is in her mid 30s and has assumed a similar role to that of her mother. If I disagree with her on anything, she threatens to stop speaking to me and this also means that I will be estranged from my 19-year-old grandson. I love my daughter and my grandson dearly, but cannot go on walking on eggshells and facing ridicule. it’s a pretty solution, spend a lot less time talking to your daughter and more time hanging out with your grandson. take him to events, learn more/support his …
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/24 05:25 AM
8

all that matters is making the divorce official and making the most of the time you get with your son. look up and stick to grey rock rock for everything else in this post.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/24 06:04 PM
5

one of the reasons lawyers get paid is to handle communication. you didn’t mention kids, so if you don’t have kids you have no reason to talk to her again. if for whatever reason you find yourself in a situation if you have talk to her, look up and stick to grey rock.
/r/Divorce_Men11/11/24 01:42 PM
11

you got Tom Brady’d. figure out what’s most important to you and work with your lawyer to make that happen. if it’s the second option where you pay her out and protect your business then focus on that instead of trying to get even.
/r/askMRP09/11/24 01:59 PM
12

your response seems fine. you weren’t whiny about it you just stated and left it there.
/r/askMRP28/10/24 12:25 PM
10

you’re already down to 20% of your paycheck and cashing out stocks that would’ve appreciated over time to get back a car that loses value the second you get the keys. getting a divorce and staying away from dating for a long time is cheaper than what you’re doing right now.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/24 12:38 AM
1

it’s good that it’s almost over now but take some time to be single and think about why you accepted any of this. also work on putting yourself first. you gave an inch and she took 100 miles. be happy she didn’t want to reconcile. she would’ve treated you even worse.
/r/Divorce_Men25/10/24 08:42 AM
12

you were good enough for her at the time. for whatever reason she wants more, thinks she can do better, is bored or a mix of all the above. you can think about which one it is all day but it won’t change anything now. just shake your head, take your time and put yourself (and your kid) first from this point forward.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/24 05:58 PM
21

if he embraces it he’ll be better off. if he begs for her back and actually takes her back after the new guy is done he’ll be much worse off.
/r/Divorce_Men20/10/24 12:59 PM
5

there’s usually two routes a person takes during and after a divorce 1) throw themselves in work, hobbies, potentially working out, spending time with family/kids/friends and filling their day up so they keep busy. 2) completely withdraw and barely interact with everyone. their work suffers, they don’t take care of themselves, and they lean on alcohol/drugs. it’s up to you which route you take.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/24 12:22 PM
10

you’re hung up because you didn’t get closure. it’s almost always a myth. even if you got closure, it wouldn’t be the full story and the marriage would still be over.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 09:53 PM
4

recently divorced the last thing you need is to rush into a relationship and have baby. also, if you have a baby with the wrong person, there is no divorce. you’re tied to them for life
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/24 10:04 AM
7

her plan is to get you out, get AP in, then she’ll be in no rush to sell deferred or not. if it works out with AP, they won’t want to move. if it doesn’t work out, she could delay the sale more just to mess with you. either the house gets sold or the other gets a check with there 50%. anything else is asking for trouble.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/24 06:13 AM
7

you already told her father. you have kids with her so getting the truth out more probably isn’t worth her making custody/hand offs more difficult.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/24 01:09 AM
11

I would’ve called divorce lawyers on the bus ride home to meet with after I got off work the next day.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/24 03:59 AM
14

it doesn’t sound like you talked to a lawyer yet so do that ASAP. she can move wherever she wants but fight if needed to keep the kids in their current state. make the switch mentally from save the marriage to protect yourself and your relationship with your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/24 09:46 PM
3

thank whatever you believe in you didn’t have kids with her. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube so you can see what to avoid doing next time.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/24 10:46 AM
1

donate them or use it to prop up some furniture
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/24 10:57 AM
10

those 6 months would be for her benefit, not yours. and other comments already addressed what she’ll be using them for. move accordingly
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/24 02:59 PM
6

take the job and learn everything you can from it and form connections if you can. this job can change the trajectory of your life. get excited about that and crush it
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/24 02:03 PM
6

you either get someone’s best or you get their worst. there’s no middle ground. it’s clear which you were getting and now you see the end result. chalk it up to a lesson learned and take some time to figure out next steps.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/24 06:51 PM
14

you can hold off and wait for her to file on her terms or save your time and end things. she’s not holding things off for your benefit.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/24 03:21 PM
8

in an ideal marriage that quote can be true. the issue is most marriages are far from ideal
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/24 12:54 AM
9

your gut (with a great track record) is screaming at you so loudly your body is reacting. if that isn’t a sign then they don’t exist.
/r/Divorce_Men25/06/24 05:55 PM
7

be more focused on being clear with what you’re looking for especially when asked, not having any accidental pregnancies (consider a vasectomy if you’re sure you don’t want anymore kids) and looking for red flags than just age.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/24 03:50 PM
3

Not wanting to cause more strife between us I let ex keep my pup, and assumed I'd get to see her from time to time. and that’s why there’s a quote about assuming. some things are nice to have during a separation and others are red lines. never bend on red lines until you literally can’t fight anymore or multiple lawyers with a ton of experience say there’s no chance.
/r/Divorce_Men07/06/24 11:24 AM
22

she can go wherever she wants. don’t even entertain the thought of her leaving your state with the kids. it doesn’t matter what she promises. she can go back on it anytime or make seeing the kids as difficult as possible.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/24 08:24 PM
1

I just went through some of your posts. your confidence got ground down completely and it started by willingly taking a back seat. if your partner doesn’t look up to you, most likely, they will look down and make sure you feel/know it. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. it can help you see what to avoid doing when you are ready to date again. the next relationship after a bad marriage can end up being even worse if you rush in and don’t keep your eye…
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/24 10:48 AM
3

I’d get DNA and STD tests to be safe. she obviously has a lot going on but leaving with kids that young could mean something else was going on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 06:18 AM
5

there’s exceptions, but generally there’s two kinds of people. people who put themselves first and only stay if it’s in their best interest/things are good. people who are very accommodating and their friends/family/co-workers take advantage of that. people in the latter need things to be completely awful before they even think about possibly leaving.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/24 12:09 AM
4

besides not cheating in the first place, here is where you really messed up I came home and she confronted me. I tried to cover it up like an idiot and after a day came clean to her. She wanted to forgive me and move on from it every choice from here on made things worse. that was your chance to make a decision and stick with it. instead you bounced around, and you see the result.
/r/Divorce_Men22/04/24 03:21 AM
3

she wanted a divorce and only wants to see the kids once a week, I’d be surprised if she didn’t have someone else (look up monkey branching).
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/24 01:40 PM
29

you deserve everything that happens to you if you’re dumb enough to keep talking to her let alone actually meet up.
/r/askMRP19/04/24 03:00 AM
12

recognizing is fine and acting on it is even better. just don’t be the cliche grass isn’t greener beg for her back/get depressed if she dates someone else. take some time to be single and figure out what you what the rest of your life to look like.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/24 07:30 AM
2

look up serenity prayer. and focus on making the most of the time you do get with them and staying or becoming someone they can look up to and lean on.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/24 12:13 PM
26

life is simpler single.
/r/MensRights23/03/24 01:07 PM
2

if they mention something like they feel you guys “grew apart” and want to try counseling, that could potentially be saved. but if they just want to things end without making any suggestions, you could say okay then get up, leave, and look into next steps. I know you know this now, but begging is one of the worst things you can do since it just reconfirms their decision to leave. and even if they don’t leave right there, they will at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/24 12:04 PM
2

use the “separation” to prepare for the divorce. book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) and work through with a divorce would look like. if things turn hostile (always on the table), you have a baseline and a lawyer you could hire if needed.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/24 10:21 PM
3

forgive for the sake of moving on then block her on everything.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/24 12:21 PM
8

obviously that sucks, there is a silver lining though. there’s people in marriages right now where their best friend is sleeping with their spouse and has been or will for years while they know nothing about it. it’s better to be out in the open (even better to never happen at all) than have no idea and find out years down the road if ever.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/24 05:21 AM
4

unless the divorce is one of the magical 5 minute amicable ones, at least go book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) and explain the situation. you’ll know more than you knew going into the meeting and you have someone you could hire if things go south.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/24 02:49 PM
5

when you’re back home with your parents and your financials aren’t good isn’t the time to be trying to date. fill up your schedule with productive things and work on a plan to get things back on track. if you make at least a little progress everyday, you’ll get back where you want to be sooner than you think.
/r/Divorce_Men07/03/24 02:58 PM
2

if someone doesn’t respect you, you can care for them as much as humanly possible, they can be turned against you if they aren’t already. one of your sons is six year olds. he has time to think for himself so all isn’t lost even if it feels like it right now.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 09:50 PM
2

there’s dad out there who are “part time” that get more respect than the full time dads. make the most of the time you do get with your sons and either keep being or become someone they can look up to.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/24 09:38 PM
12

because people don’t learn from others enough. rates on second marriages aren’t good and third is even worse.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/24 04:57 PM
2

when you’re up against it, you need to breath and make a plan. it sounds like you might have fixed your homelessness problem which is good. now you have to focus on not seeing your kid. your best chance is working with a lawyer who has experience dealing with ex’s like yours and see if there’s a way to use whose she’s dating in your favor. book consults (some do free ones) and look for ones that do. you’ll have to catch up on child support or try to get it modified by going for more custody so p…
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/24 02:10 PM
5

it’s nice her mom is trying to help her own way but that’s not changing anything when she’s this adamant on leaving. the best move to accept what she’s clearing telling you and at least look into what a divorce would look like by booking a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones).
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 11:10 PM
7

if they mention something like they feel you guys are drifting apart and want to try counseling, that’s one thing. but if they just want to things without making any suggestions, you could okay then get up, leave, and look into next steps.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 10:51 PM
10

the sad reality some people don’t find out until they go through family court is their spouse never really loved them. they were just the best option willing to commit at that time. so they go along with it until certain benchmarks get hit and/or they monkey branch to a “better” option.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 03:01 PM
3

probably yours? get DNA and STD tests (maybe a prenatal but she’ll probably push back against that). also get a lawyer who can do the talking for you. look up and stick to grey rock and ask your lawyer what’s the best way to set up a co-parenting app.
/r/Divorce_Men02/03/24 10:02 AM
3

look up lawyers and see if any of them will meet with you tomorrow or Monday at the latest. explain everything you written in this post and see if they have experience with any of it and solutions.
/r/Divorce_Men01/03/24 05:18 AM
19

circle of life: try to get the guys who won’t commit or marry to change their minds>marry a guy who has no issues committing>get bored/monkey branch out of that marriage>repeat first part.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/24 03:43 PM
26

marry her, and you’ll be posting here again talking about what the court system did to you.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/24 08:01 AM
6

ask yourself a simple question, do you think she wants to work on things because she doesn’t like the glimpse of her post divorce life or she actually wants to be with you? either one can still lead go a divorce, but one gets you there faster if you stop and probably at a worse place than you’re looking at now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 04:11 PM
9

the sad part that a lot of people never realize is when you cave into demands like that, they lose more and more respect for you. you think you’re being appeasing and a good partner, while they think you’re being weak.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/24 02:02 AM
8

hiding it AND dressing up says a lot.
/r/askMRP19/02/24 01:20 PM
19

the simp is the guy who left his family to move in with a monkey brancher. you have 50/50 custody and two kids. you don’t have to go through this again and can spend the rest of your life raising your kids to be better than that and doing what you want to do.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/24 12:56 PM
4

it’s been one year, and you’re not even 30 yet. you don’t have to do anything, and in general that mindset can cause problems for you.
/r/askMRP12/02/24 04:09 PM
1

you can say something along the lines you don’t want a divorce either then do some research into what’s going on. if she liked her prospects post divorce, she wouldn’t want to stop anything. so either someone said something to her that stick or something happened that has her wanting to stop the divorce...for now. talk to your lawyer as well to see what you’d be looking at in the future if you start the process later instead of divorcing now and if it’s better or worse for you.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/24 06:34 AM
2

here are 2 options you have: 1) put your foot down and tell her that language isn’t working here. 2) don’t assert yourself and ask guiding questions instead.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/24 03:31 PM
26

leaving you behind on holiday is about as clear a sign as it gets on how she really feels about you. don’t feel guilty.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 01:28 PM
2

look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube so you can see what to avoid doing in the future. just in this one post alone there’s more than a few exit points you passed up and things you let slide. could you stay and work on things? sure. at this point though, the safest move is to leave while the cost is low. if you stay, advance in your career and have more kids, the cost is going to make you hope for a time machine.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/24 05:15 AM
4

some people slept in their cars and took showers at gyms. you could also look to see if there’s a place that has monthly leases/a short term sublet/or someone looking for a roommate where you don’t have to sign anything long-term while you waiting on the courts.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/24 05:26 AM
7

book a consult with lawyer and work on an exit plan. she has no respect for you and talks shit about you for her entertainment. also, with your comments in this thread and the company she keeps, I’d seriously consider getting DNA and STD on your kids with her.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/24 04:47 PM
18

she’s trying to make it difficult so you don’t pursue. it looks like you’re not falling for it which is the right way to play it.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/24 05:26 AM
3

if you think you have a good shot at 50/50 I’d be looking to get out. you want to make sure you get your ducks in a row first though. she could flip and escalate things.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 02:13 PM
9

she agreed to stop the divorce so she can live the single life while you babysit. book a consult with a lawyer or talk to your old one and figure out the best way/time to leave so you have a shot a custody.
/r/Divorce_Men27/01/24 02:06 PM
3

he’s broken and so is the relationship. you can stay and leave after marriage and kids or leave now and both of you will be better off in the long run.
/r/RedPillWives27/01/24 04:55 AM
1

you’re going to have to pay. in another comment, you said she doesn’t want the business, so then it’ll come down to money. if things are amicable, maybe you can work out a payment plan to tank your cash reserves.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/24 01:18 PM
13

some people pack their bags and to never return after a ruling like that...
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/24 10:53 PM
3

some people said when they pulled back and stopped chasing their kid is when they actually started talking to them again. it’s something to consider.
/r/Divorce_Men16/01/24 03:21 PM
3

start with a plan. you have roommates right now so money is the first issue. when you’re off work, spend your time with your kids, working out, and learning new skills. those skills will help you get a promotion, or transition to a new job. I don’t know your custody split but I assume she has majority. changing that anytime soon is mostly likely not the best use of your time, so focus on making the most of the time you do have with them and staying or becoming someone they can look up to. you ca…
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/24 08:14 PM
11

if that expensive law firm doesn’t have serious connections with judges, prioritizing PTO over that hearing might cost you everything.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 07:35 PM
6

people are going to find a way to blame or question you no matter when you leave. the better question is what would it look like financially, custody wise, and your living situation if you left? if you don’t know, find out, then take some time to weigh out both options.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/24 05:11 PM
3

book a consult with a lawyer ASAP. look up ones that do free ones, explain your situation, and go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/24 07:07 PM
5

read your post. do you sound like a fun person to be around right now?
/r/askMRP09/01/24 04:51 PM
11

staying and cheating is a terrible idea. whatever leg you have to stand on, or empathy you would’ve gotten gets destroyed when you cheat. if you have kids, cheating is an even worse idea. your kids can lose respect/not want to talk to you. it’s better to either leave or stay and work on things with a date in mind. you can also explore your options legally and how’d you live post divorce. once that date comes and things haven’t changed, your decision gets easier and you should be more prepared.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/24 03:18 PM
6

don’t say a word unless she brings it up and keep it moving. get out the house for a little bit today if possible to help clear your head.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 07:15 PM
14

Now she says maybe after a week or 2 weeks she might want to start dating me again too see if she still can love me or not. I'm really just screwed up in the head. Does she want out? Is she just using this to control me somehow? And besides that how can I trust that she won't get bored again soon after getting back together. never let someone put you on layaway while they “make up their mind”. book a consult with a lawyer to see what you’re looking at.
/r/Divorce_Men07/01/24 03:25 PM
17

at least you didn’t pay for it during the marriage. there’s a good chance when that happens during the marriage, it’s not for the husband.
/r/Divorce_Men06/01/24 05:23 AM
5

I’ll never understand an adult letting another person put them on a couch in their own home. if for whatever reason I’m not sleeping on the main bed, I’m sleeping on a bed in another room or somewhere else and then adjusting accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/24 02:25 AM
6

it sounds like he always had the same job. so did you get a raise or did this relationship turn serious when you weren’t expecting it to?
/r/RedPillWomen04/01/24 01:01 PM
7

it seems like you know this already, but you have to make the injunction a line in the sand. if she doesn’t sign it, you’re not only fighting for custody, but full custody. there’s no middle ground here.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/24 12:01 AM
7

Hey guys, I'm a 188lb 6'2 12% navy bf with a 2 plate bench 35y.o fella that's been with my 37 y.o wife for 16 years. I'm her 12th lay and she took my virginity. We have 3 kids 6f,8m,13f. 7 cats and 3 dogs. I hate my life and have read the sidebar rougly 4-5 times since 2018. yikes. start with enjoying life instead of hating it. also, why do you have 10 pets?
/r/askMRP02/01/24 10:43 PM
5

In recent arguments we talked about divorce and assets assignment. I’ve been generous to leave all marriage assets to her,and just take my personal belongings. this is why people say stop being so nice, especially during a divorce. it gets viewed as weakness and they just push for more.
/r/Divorce_Men02/01/24 06:28 PM
1

make sure your lawyer keeps an eye on what name she puts on the birth certificate.
/r/Divorce_Men31/12/23 06:37 PM
3

book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) so you have a baseline for what to expect if you do meditation. then if you don’t like how mediation is going you can leave before signing anything and at least have a lawyer in mind.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 09:24 PM
8

too much hassle for someone you’re not married to and don’t have kids with. and it’ll only get harder when either or both changes.
/r/askMRP29/12/23 03:48 PM
4

get a lawyer if you don’t have one already. it sounds like she does or will shortly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/12/23 12:08 PM
1

it looks like your marriage is over and it’s a matter of when. work on your exit plan with your lawyer and file on your terms before she makes good on one of her threats and you’re the one on the back foot.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 05:10 PM
13

of course she wants the marriage to work. she gets to be with you and act single. seriously consider getting a DNA test on your son if you haven’t already.
/r/Divorce_Men28/12/23 03:11 PM
1

is there anyway for a PI to coordinate with someone who can serve her when they found out where she’s staying?
/r/Divorce_Men27/12/23 03:02 AM
6

look into hiring a PI.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 11:34 PM
8

getting a reason at all is rare. it sounds like got bored in your marriage and went chasing the next thrill. there’s a reason for the quote “if you treat her like a celebrity, she’ll treat you like a fan.”
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 08:44 PM
14

stay with your parents, start looking at lawyers to figure out next steps, and let your job know to see if it’s possible to take some time to get your thoughts sorted.
/r/Divorce_Men26/12/23 06:04 PM
4

I told her I was going to be fair and make sure she’s taken care of but I guess she doesn’t believe me. I’ve spoken to divorce lawyer who thinks she’s siphoning money. Both he and my accountant (and my sister) want me to hire forensic accountant. listen to them. if you don’t take steps like rerouting your check, she’ll keep taking money. it’s time to do what’s in your best interest.
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/23 03:03 PM
60

would have to pay me to even consider asking about an ex’s sex life and the number wouldn’t be small. get a calendar and start crossing off the days until you move and start planning/doing things in the meantime to prepare/what you’ll do when you do move.
/r/Divorce_Men21/12/23 09:45 PM
22

discussing it would probably end with you DEERing. and nothing about your post reads you successfully pulling off being nonchalant either. so out of those three, you’re better off focusing on self-improvement. your main issue right now is she doesn’t respect you.
/r/askMRP20/12/23 06:04 AM
3

at the end of the day, you have to make a decision you can live with. explore what moving would look like, how your life would look like if you deicide to not move, then take a walk/drive somewhere. write out everything, take some time to look it over, then make a decision.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/23 07:23 PM
1

start with ones that do free consults then go from there.
/r/askMRP17/12/23 02:41 PM
6

your marriage is dead and based on what you wrote, you killed it. get STD and DNA tests to be safe and start meeting with lawyers now. you want one ready to go in case she decides to file or take off with your son.
/r/askMRP17/12/23 02:07 PM
0

I was hoping you sued that “counselor.” nice to see she’s facing consequences.
/r/Divorce_Men17/12/23 05:19 AM
6

The problem lies in our career and schooling. He took a year off uni due to mental health issues, and now has transferred into a lower tier school. He hasn't done any internships and has no real world experience other than being a phone salesman. For me, I've done three internships, two at F500 companies in tech, one in FAANG I think the final nail in the coffin was when I was interviewing for an internship with big tech I secured for this summer- we both applied for the role and I got the job w…
/r/RedPillWomen14/12/23 01:32 AM
15

never get married again and you’ll be fine. saying the rates on third marriages are terrible is understating it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/12/23 10:23 PM
5

translation: I have absolutely no interest in being with you right now. once I get to date, don’t like what I see, and you change in a way I like, I guess we can get back together if that’s appealing for you, go for it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 09:33 PM
3

start booking consult with lawyers (some do free ones). maybe you can sort it out yourself/through mediation. talking to a lawyer beforehand though gives you a baseline and someone you could possibly hire if she hires one.
/r/Divorce_Men08/12/23 02:04 PM
2

she knows she’s in a bad spot so she’s trying to muddy the waters by lowering your expectations. don’t fall for it. get what you’re entitled to and only consider changing what the calculator spits out if you get something extremely favorable.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/23 08:12 AM
3

either that or the new guy said no when she asked him.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/23 08:04 AM
1

She’s thrown divorce around many times in my face as a way to inflict damage over the years. Find out she was having an emotional affair with her failure of a childhood best friend. Dude is mentally unstable and ugly as hell but he’s “there for her”. Because you know, my putting a roof over her head, providing for her, doing everything for her, taking time for her, isn’t “there” for her. Even though she worked no job and I did EVERYTHING for her, I wasn’t there for her. I wasn’t “emotionally ava…
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/23 04:11 PM
27

Sex was great, 5-6 time per week, BJ, anal, you name it. I find myself chasing her, to come back, I know its bad, inviting her to go out, we've gone out since the breaking off but its not the same, she keeps pushing it and she's losing respect for me I know. I also have the covert contract if I don't chase she will come back, I'm also afraid she'll fuck somebody else. you had your fun, it’s over now. she wants another kid and to get married, you don’t. if you change your mind and do either or bo…
/r/askMRP24/11/23 02:14 PM
5

when the respect is gone, things fall apart. not only does she not respect you, she insults you and threw her wedding ring. your marriage is over. her behavior will escalate if you stay. lean more into BJJ and book a consult with a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 01:03 PM
6

Thanksgiving, my wife asked for a divorce. Hardest part is that she’s emotionally past all of it. Then I had to spend the day trying to be ok while her family was there for the day. I would’ve secured my valuables, either ate then went upstairs or left for the day (maybe come back nighttime), and looked up lawyers that I could meet with tomorrow. asking for divorce on thanksgiving when her family is there is despicable.
/r/Divorce_Men24/11/23 04:52 AM
8

first thing is to stop watching those videos. doing stuff like that to yourself seeps through and can affect other areas of your life. about the rest of your post, I know some people won’t agree with it, I do though. it’s risky since it could blow up relationships with your family. just playing it out on my head though, it wouldn’t sit right with me.
/r/Divorce_Men23/11/23 05:14 AM
3

book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) and seriously consider getting DNA and STD tests. she checked out of this relationship before she said I do.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/23 05:43 PM
2

kids make it go from a NO!!!!!!! to a HELL NO!!!!!! all that matters when you have kids is being or becoming someone they look up and your co-parenting relationship or lack thereof. “no strings attached sex” is going to torpedo that.
/r/Divorce_Men17/11/23 08:23 PM
2

don’t move out before talking to a lawyer. living at her moms house with kids involved isn’t going to be great for you custody wise, though. start with booking a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones). ask about how moving would impact custody and work on an exit plan.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/23 06:12 PM
2

thank your lucky stars you didn’t get her pregnant.
/r/askMRP15/11/23 09:28 PM
20

once you get an ultimatum, the relationship is usually over one way or another. either you say no and it’s over then, or you say yes, and the respect she has for you continues to tank until it becomes unbearable.
/r/askMRP14/11/23 08:42 PM
2

you have three kids with her, no dead bedroom, and what your marriage is going through now you admitted is your fault. sure, you could leave, what would that accomplish, though? you still have to do the work and become someone your kids can look up to. you may as well try doing it under a two parent household.
/r/askMRP14/11/23 06:26 PM
7

leaving a marriage under 2 years if it goes that way should be fine. leaving when there’s a kid involved makes it a lot more complicated. there’s child support, custody, mutual friends and family on both sides who can get turned against you a lot easier than without a kid.
/r/Divorce_Men12/11/23 01:11 AM
4

focus on your relationship with the 2. only send texts/calls to the last one on his birthday and maybe major holidays. things will work out from there one way or another.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 09:53 PM
3

given what you said so far, I’d say keep dating the 27 year old and divorce your 2nd wife. however, take your time before even thinking about getting serious (moving in, etc) with her. you’ve already been married twice. the rates on third marriages aren’t any better.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 07:09 PM
4

google the pick me dance. it never works, especially long term.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 12:21 PM
9

you get your ducks in a row first. talk to a lawyer and work on a exit plan. then figure out where you’ll stay if you don’t leave the martial home and have a place you can go at least in mind if she goes nuclear.
/r/Divorce_Men10/11/23 02:56 AM
3

the good news is you don’t have biological kids with her and you’ve only been married for five years. if you had biologically kids with her, it’d be a whole other game with a potential decade or longer before the end was in sight. your best bet now is probably to use either the sale of the home or her buying you out to pay off debts and go your separate ways. for that lawyer that was recommended to you, what did they do for the person sending them your way? was there a legal win or is it just so…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 06:39 PM
6

it’s not cheating. it should end chances of reconciliation though. some people use separation to be single and see what’s out there. if they want to stay married after that, it’s because they didn’t get the person they had a blast with to seriously date them.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/23 12:40 PM
1

his options are to get another job even if it’s Doordash/Uber on the weekends. as you said, she has more resources and even though it was under duress, he did sign it. if he tries to lower the amount, she could get push for more years, a higher amount, or try for lifetime alimony again. she might not get any of those, is it really worth the risk though instead of just working harder for a few more years and then moving on?
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/23 01:07 PM
10

that’d the day I’d only have 1 daughter left going forward. and all 3 of them will try to influence her so you’ll have your work cut out for you.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/23 04:38 AM
1

She's told me she has to get drunk to fuck me. this plus your post shows your wife doesn’t respect you. until that changes, your marriage won’t be in a good place. finding an outlet if you don’t have one already can help clear your head and build some confidence (fighting gym, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with, or a rage room). if you go with a fighting gym tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over a…
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/23 01:22 PM
16

you’re in your own head. you withdrew, got more interest, then held onto the butthurt instead of having a good night.
/r/askMRP03/11/23 01:53 PM
10

would have to get paid to even consider looking at an ex’s convos with people she’s dating.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 06:58 PM
7

you could book a free consult to explore that if you want, most likely though, it’ll be a wash at best. the best time to do it was during the divorce. now you’ll have to pay more lawyer fees, hope you win, and that a judge doesn’t get pissed and stick you with hers as well plus whatever else she might try for if you go for this.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 02:23 PM
3

book a consult with a lawyer, tell them everything you said in this post and more, then work on an exit plan. file when you’re ready to file. it’s time to take your life back.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/23 11:18 AM
4

first step is to stop texting her unless it’s about your son. her only replying if it’s about your son or you taking care of yourself means she cares about you to some degree. that doesn’t mean she has romantic feelings for you right now. look up ILYBINILWY. also, finding an outlet if you don’t have one already can help (fighting gym, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with, or a rage room especially if someone goes with you). if you go with a fighting gym tell the trainer a little about what y…
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/23 01:50 PM
22

door 1: go to Asia and get a fresh start door 2: “try again” with a wife who has 0 interest in you. if you still pick the wrong door, Godspeed.
/r/askMRP01/11/23 04:02 AM
2

get DNA and STD tests. there’s a good chance she either never stopped seeing that guy or lied about other things.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/23 11:13 PM
12

put yourself first. mentally twisting yourself isn’t going to help anyone involved, especially if your mental health eventually crashes.
/r/Divorce_Men29/10/23 01:51 PM
6

hope she does for the sake of your kids, marriage wise though, her cheating = it’s over. people who don’t realize that just get cheated on again and/or get treated like crap more times than not. also get STD and DNA tests. this could just be the first time you caught her.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/23 11:49 AM
3

looks like you’re doing the right things. look up and stick to grey rock if you aren’t already. also, consider/look into using a co-parenting app.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 06:19 PM
3

what kind of work are you doing? also, do you have any friends or family within driving distance that has a spare room or a coach?
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/23 12:44 PM
31

people tend to look at the wrong things. ex: love bombing can have someone thinking this is how it’ll be for the rest of their lives, so they rush into marriage. then a house and maybe a few kids later, the real them comes out. also, pay attention to their friends and relationship with family. who they’re friends with, how they think, what they do in their spare time, will shape who they are, your relationship, and your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 01:06 PM
2

keep the house and look into the laws where you live before renting. there’s plenty of horror stories of people who refuse to leave homes at the end of a lease.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/23 06:19 AM
1

My first live in gf was pretty great in bed but a rough around the edges woman. We dated 6 months then I foolishly asked her to move in. 1.5 months after living together she says to me out of the blue oh by the way Ive lost my court case for dui and so I end up driving her literally everywhere for basically free while shes living with me for free. once you heard about the dui, almost 2 months after she already moved in, you should’ve ended things. The next one I decide to work on myself get skin…
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 02:13 PM
3

look grey rock, stick to it and listen to what the lawyer you hire says.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 07:01 AM
10

my ex worked and made good money, X2 my salary. however, she resented me for making less and abused me mentally and physically and when I wanted to move on, she dragged me through court with abuse cases to take the kids away, I had to spend every single penny including my 401k, she promised she would bankrupt me and she did. Then, I met this new women who seemed like a motherly and good wife,she also works and make good money $200k, I am not sure if I was greedy or my emotions were mixed up but …
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/23 05:20 AM
99

because it’s the easiest way to end up in a relationship worse than the last one.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/23 05:17 PM
3

there might be some people where that works, for the most part though, it usually leads to the relationship/marriage ending. you can try a new hobby or rediscover some old ones. if nothing comes to mind, just think of something that interests you and go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 09:08 PM
3

I'm having a hard time accepting the divorce, but I'm going with the flow because it's the only way to respect her choice and her as a person. She is the light of my life and I can't keep myself together and often cry. Maybe i'm just a soft little bitch that can't face reality, but this shit is hard. crying because your marriage is over doesn’t make you one. making her the light of your life can be very risky though. do you have any outlets/hobbies or did you spend the majority of your free time…
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/23 08:51 PM
3

good advice given already. one thing to consider is making a series of plans. ex: look into filing a appeal and a possible reduction. while that’s going on/if that doesn’t work, you could look into the airborne ideas.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/23 11:38 PM
4

the better question is that the kind of love that you want?
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 02:00 PM
16

wishing that on someone says a lot more about her than you.
/r/Divorce_Men14/10/23 05:51 AM
1

seems more like you need to find a hobby that could turn into a passion than quitting your job. with everything going on right now, this isn’t the job to quit your job, especially a cushy one.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/23 08:04 PM
2

in example one you could’ve escalated when she did that then did your own thing if you got a hard no.
/r/askMRP11/10/23 09:30 PM
6

waiting 6 months could be fine, or a mistake. book a consult with a lawyer if you haven’t already to get clarity and work on an exit plan.
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/23 04:30 AM
9

However after the date he said it's best we don't meet again because I was too nervous. that should’ve been the end of it. if a guy is really interested in you, being nervous is one of the easiest things to overlook. Several months later, he swipes right on me again on the dating app. I'm still hurt by his rejection, and I'm afraid of us arguing and falling apart, so I decide to wait several weeks, after which I swipe right and we match. I don't talk to him, wait for him to say something, howeve…
/r/RedPillWomen08/10/23 02:10 AM
10

She got mad and threw a 1.75 karat ring at me. I picked it up and I still tried to reconcile. I begged her to rethink the divorce. Take it back! Take it back! Hahah. Imma idiot. 1) sell it. 2) try your best to never beg like that ever again when someone disrespects you.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 08:10 PM
1

prioritize these things until further notice: 1) book a consult with a lawyer and work on an exit plan 2) work on staying or becoming someone your kids can look up to 3) don’t let your performance at your job slip 4) if you don’t already, find an outlet that can help keep you sane. if all you do during this is work, go home, and stay home, you’ll drive yourself crazy.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/23 09:46 AM
2

last sentence is good. the rest not so much, which I’m sure you know by now. supporting can be good if you both have the same genuine goals vs making her your world. the issue is, in situations like yours, those kind of goals are more of a launch pad go get independent away from you, plus cash and prizes on the way out.
/r/askMRP03/10/23 05:42 PM
5

I have attorney who i have paid $7k retainer to- she has advised to wait to file after she gets a new job.. as she will be making significant money when she graduates as a RN in December. everything else is just noise. set some goals for before you file and some for after.
/r/askMRP03/10/23 05:05 PM
2

that makes sense. certain parts of someone can change over the years, especially after going through a divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 09:59 PM
4

some people can casually date and not get attached, others can’t. once your realize which camp you fall under, you can adjust and move accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/23 09:22 PM
1

nothing wrong with re-evaluating when you reach a day/plan you set.
/r/askMRP27/09/23 09:05 PM
3

Her having nothing negative to say about this guy, seemingly being uncomfortable with me talking down on this dude (I called him a creep and she looked upset) between this and the deception/lies, I’d personally leave, especially if there’s no kids involved.
/r/askMRP27/09/23 08:43 PM
5

even if she did realize she made a mistake, there’s a good chance she’d just monkey branch again (look it up). focus on staying or becoming someone your kids can look up to and consider getting STD and DNA tests of you haven’t already. this might not be her first affair.
/r/Divorce_Men27/09/23 02:33 AM
8

start with taking the job. once you have a job, you can focus more on what your next one will look like, possibly applying for it, and improving your skills. when you don’t have a job, it’s hard to focus on much else outside of getting one unless you have a ton of support or savings.
/r/Divorce_Men26/09/23 06:45 PM
24

A and B seem fine. C.) In the event of a divorce for any reason, regardless of the party filing for divorce, custody of the biological child, if underaged belongs entirely to the husband though wouldn’t work in the states and could get the whole thing tossed. don’t know the laws where you live so it could be nothing or something to look into.
/r/RedPillWomen24/09/23 10:16 PM
1

do you have any friends/family that you can call or visit?
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 12:17 PM
1

it sucks now and will for a while, you’ll be better off on the long run though. some people literally go decades or never find out they can’t trust someone in their family/their spouse.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 12:05 PM
1

get a STD tests as well. also figure out if you want to sell, buy out, or get bought out of the house and business.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/23 11:36 AM
10

she can find a guy making more, the issue is finding a guy that will seriously date her. she was at least talking to guys making more when she was bashing your salary and thought she’d have her pick of those guys. now she doesn’t, so she’s with this guy...for now.
/r/Divorce_Men20/09/23 12:26 AM
8

she slapped the divorce papers in front of you because she never planned on being with you long term. start with getting DNA/STD tests, and booking a consult with a lawyer. when you talk to the lawyer, run through different scenarios. ex: if she moved and you didn’t fight it, what are you looking at vs if you contest the move and fight.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 04:26 PM
7

the bright side is you found before you had kids so you nope out. you also have family alive that cares enough about you to let you stay with them.
/r/Divorce_Men18/09/23 03:33 AM
3

1) definitely keep doing YouTube no matter what. 2) your relationship is over. don’t try to “win her back”. and if she changes her mind at some point, don’t buy it. she’d just monkey branch again (look it up). focus more on becoming someone your kid can look up to. 3) book a consult with a lawyer, some do free ones. it’ll help you see what to expect if things stay as they are or if they change.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 11:21 PM
18

Also, I cannot figure out why *she* just doesn’t petition for divorce. If she’s so unhappy, why isn’t she the one initiating divorce? I cannot figure it out. why would she make any changes when she’s getting everything she wants? she pays you no attention, while getting to cheat and has the option to get paid at anytime. she’s in no rush. you could try talking to multiple lawyers and see if any of them have any creative ideas that can make the divorce more bearable at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/23 07:16 AM
3

always sort by controversial. I saw some good answers last time I looked.
/r/Divorce_Men16/09/23 02:05 PM
31

it’s one thing to pick a style you like and work towards making that happen. it’s another to take any criticism and make that your life. figure out what you like then align around that.
/r/RedPillWomen16/09/23 05:16 AM
2

it sounds like you like at least parts of the current dynamic so focus here I plan vacations and plan dates and take responsibility for our finances but I also fall into choreplay to try and be more active in day to day stuff at home and when I try to talk through the calendar she gets annoyed that I’m second guessing her shit. ex: if there’s an activity already scheduled, pick a time before or after to add something you want to do and do it whether she joins or not.
/r/askMRP15/09/23 09:31 PM
1

writing that out is a good first step. focus on these until further notice: -making sure you have a competent lawyer -becoming someone your son can look up to -keep hitting the gym -lowering costs so you have more money to use if an opportunity pops up down the road
/r/askMRP08/09/23 09:07 PM
1

there’s good advice given already, you can also write a letter of everything you want to say to her then shred/get rid of it afterwards.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 01:55 PM
2

it definitely won’t be easy. that’s why I said earlier use the time while you’re still in the house to work out how to cut costs. shopping for things on sale (different stores run different sales)/cooking in bulk/and saving as much as possible on housing are good places to start.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 02:12 AM
3

the first apartment post divorce doesn’t have to be a long term solution though. it can be something you use in the short term while you save and keep an eye out for a better opportunity.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 02:03 AM
3

why do you need a 3 bedroom? you could get a 2 or even a 1 if you push it.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 01:59 AM
1

look into apartments and sublets as well
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 01:54 AM
2

sue and start looking at housing options in your area. in the meantime, find an area of the house to make your fortress while cutting down costs and start working out a budget before you move.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/23 01:34 AM
15

he passed on a chance to leave before the marriage too. According to the "Field of Dreams" actor, they called it quits for a time due to a difference of opinion when it came to having kids. While Costner, already a dad of four, didn't want any more children, for Baumgartner, becoming a mom was a deal breaker. Reflecting on their separation while chatting to Parade in 2008, Costner said: "For years, fear kept me from marrying Christine. Christine wanted a child, but I was afraid I couldn't be an …
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 05:37 PM
2

one day, write a letter with everything you want to say to her and then either get rid of it. then another day, write out a plan with steps you need to take from a room in strangers apartment to your own or even a house again.
/r/Divorce_Men03/09/23 06:30 AM
10

any relationship without respect is doomed. the treatment only gets worse and worse.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/23 07:58 AM
9

focus on getting free from her legally than going scorched earth. she was getting child support from one guy while not paying a thing with another. the new reality will set in without you having to do a thing.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/23 06:23 PM
25

true and another issue is the guy she’s most attracted isn’t usually the guy who says I do. which leaves the door open even more for everything in this post.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/23 03:19 PM
3

trust your gut. also it’s only been 5 months and your divorce isn’t even final. you definitely don’t need to rush into a serious relationship
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 07:35 PM
37

During this time he pushed me aside for an entire week and couldn’t decide whether to be with me or not. He also insulted everything about me. he didn’t leave you with much choice beside to leave. it actually sounds like he was trying to get you to do it instead.
/r/RedPillWomen25/08/23 05:39 PM
3

nothing wrong with moving on after a year but look up oneitis. you don’t want to get attached too quickly. that’s how you end up with another STBX.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 01:03 PM
1

ask your lawyer first but you could say something like if she buys you out (1 payment no payment plan) you’ll leave in X days. that could get her to bug her father to get the money. faster
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/23 04:56 AM
4

better to find out now than during a medical emergency where emotions will already be heightened.
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/23 07:41 PM
4

he was right about cutting off your friend. I was going to say he was wrong about not blocking his friend without having to talk to you but it sounds like you didn’t cut your friend off on your own either. so if you want him to admit he’s wrong not blocking his friend before a discussion, it’d be fair for you to do the same. both of them are done though, so you have to ask yourself if digging into it more is really worth it.
/r/RedPillWomen22/08/23 04:27 AM
1

ask your ex and then if she’s open to it, ask your daughter. if it’s not two yes, you have your answer.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/23 01:58 PM
15

focus less on the shame and more about taking steps to build the life you want post divorce. if you don’t know what that is yet, take a walk or drive somewhere and write it out. then you can work on steps to make it happen.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 07:38 PM
2

the best time was before you signed. the next best time is now. take the agreement to a lawyer to see if you have any options.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 04:01 PM
3

sounds like you got played then.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 03:59 PM
3

nothing wrong with paying to save time and energy. you can always make the money back.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 03:57 PM
2

so it’s going to be a family asset...is anyone else on your or her family contributing?
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/23 03:55 PM
6

sometimes things slip out before the brain can stop it. he apologized and didn’t have issues with you ordering clothes. try to focus more on the positives.
/r/RedPillWomen15/08/23 04:48 PM
5

if you write a letter, don’t share it with her. just use it to get your thoughts out. also book a consult with a lawyer if you don’t have one already. no matter what you agree to, things can change before papers are signed.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/23 04:15 AM
11

look up the light switch effect.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 01:24 PM
10

look up and reach out lawyers today and meet with whichever ones will met you tomorrow. she’s been planning this so now you have to play catch up.
/r/Divorce_Men13/08/23 08:09 AM
18

she told you who she was (by actions) on the first date. it should’ve never moved past FWB if that. now you have her in a role she’s not suited for which is part of the reason why you’re hitting a lull now.
/r/askMRP13/08/23 02:07 AM
7

I’d rather be single than deal with that.
/r/Divorce_Men10/08/23 01:15 AM
6

that does suck but all you can do is focus on making the most of the time you have with your kids and being someone they can look up to ask for advice. also look up serenity prayer if you never read it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 05:17 AM
26

unless he’s a harm to your children, it’s not worth the energy.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/23 05:09 AM
2

ask his current or other lawyers if there’s anything he can do to go on the offensive or countersue. part of the reason she’s just filing like it’s a video game is it’s not costing her anything she values.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 09:09 PM
3

not sure if you can include custody in a post-nup and it’ll hold up, especially if it gets contested. also, even if you decide to not divorce, that doesn’t mean she can’t just decide to do it again later when it’ll be more beneficial for her.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 06:02 AM
12

that does make it harder but it’s more manageable with one kid. focusing on work, quality time with your kid, and your hobbies can help keep your thoughts at bay. basically, make yourself so busy you’re forced to think about other things. eventually, it’ll get to a point you’ll only remember in passing how much time you used to worry about it.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 05:14 AM
19

polygamy and serious relationships tend not to work more times than not and if it’s during a marriage it’s even worse. notice how with you it would’ve been asexual but now that it’s over she’s “liberated”. one way to look at it is it’s better to know now before kids than after. you can make a clean break, take some time to be single, make a plan for how you want the rest of your life to go, and live how you want.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 05:01 AM
2

always ask why and consider the context. given how the divorce has gone so far, this isn’t for your benefit. figure out a route that will be next time you talk to your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men06/08/23 04:23 AM
1

before you agree to anything, I’d look into getting another lawyer and appealing the decision or finding ways to delay it. look at it for her POV. she gets a rent free house that she has full control over while the divorce is being worked out. she’d be in no rush. in fact, she’s an incentive to drag it out and break you down. I’d look into and exhaust all options before submitting to that.
/r/Divorce_Men02/08/23 04:26 PM
3

getting out with no kids is a blessing. one day, when she realizes what she actually threw away, she’ll be back, and it sounds like you know how to deal with that when the time comes.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/23 02:43 AM
8

With that being said, she teased my son about Pam (my girlfriend) being a better mother to him than she was. I guess she did not expect my son to agree with that statement. going fishing like that is never a good idea in an ongoing relationship you want to keep that way.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 05:39 PM
8

they’re prioritizing access to the kids over their relationship with you. as of right now, it’s just something to make a mental note of to see how things play out.
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/23 04:20 AM
38

Because of her history of bad decisions while drunk, especially making out with someone else when she was with her husband, we tried to be preventative by agreeing that neither of us would get drunk without the other there. once you found this out, a serious relationship should’ve been off the table.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 04:07 AM
3

things can seem obvious and people do them multiple times anyway so wanted to make sure haha
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 02:00 AM
5

I just started a new job that potentially pays 6 figures If I do OT, so I'm going to be fucked by for child support. then don’t do OT unless it has significant benefits to your career. also never move into a home in someone’s parents name again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/07/23 01:46 AM
3

let them decide if you deserve to be or not.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 04:58 PM
4

reach out to all the friends and family that tried to save you from yourself and tell them you’re getting a divorce. you appreciate them trying to help you and you’re here if they want to talk to hang out but if they don’t want to, you understand and you wish them well.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 04:21 PM
5

she could also just be love bombing you. basically, it’s all the time early on. then you get serious, it trickles down. it’s how people get boiling frog and end up in a relationship they normally wouldn’t have if it started like that. and then they look for someone who gives them the closest feeling to the start of the relationship.
/r/askMRP28/07/23 12:41 PM
5

moving in after 5 months??
/r/askMRP28/07/23 12:29 PM
2

they’re cases of rich people getting absolutely destroyed ex: Tyrese and Kevin Costner. but the ones that don’t are probably some combo of using their money well on lawyers and leveraging knowing people most people can’t.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/23 12:20 PM
3

as of right now, the marriage is over. trying to talk isn’t going to change that. accept that it’s over, and start doing things you want to do. if you don’t know what those are, do take a drive/trip somewhere and think about it.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/23 01:31 AM
5

start with one goal and go from there. ex: you don’t currently have a job. focus on getting a one. it doesn’t matter what it is, just get one. once you do, then you can look into looking for a better one, improving your skills, or looking for another one on the weekends. keep building off different goals like that until you start feeling some joy again. then you can take an overview of where things are and adjust.
/r/Divorce_Men24/07/23 06:04 PM
6

do you really care about what the younger guys you’re not sleeping with think who have an incentive for you to GTFO?
/r/askMRP23/07/23 01:30 PM
31

get DNA, STD tests, and talk to a lawyer to see what a divorce would look like while you wait on the results. you have to respect yourself or they’ll always be disrespect even if you start a new relationship later on.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/23 07:24 AM
3

you have to co-parent with her and the divorce isn’t even finalized yet. it’s tempting to make a decision that you think seems justified, but you have to play things out. if you tell her family, you feel better for a few minutes, maybe a few hours. maybe her family cares, maybe they don’t. what will most likely happen though is she blows your phone up, and makes the divorce process a lot more difficult. no one’s perfect, but try to only make moves that have a benefit to you or your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 11:08 PM
2

find the closest store that has beds you can try out and go the next closest if that one doesn’t have it, and so on until you find one you like. in the meantime, make note of any stores/restaurants that look interesting check them out that day or another weekend.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 02:48 AM
3

you can do the things you paid for and carve out time to do things by yourself.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 01:27 AM
3

I’d personally either wouldn’t go on the trip or would spend as much time as possible away from her during it. then when you get back or the trip passes, get a new phone and set up new accounts.
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/23 12:44 AM
2

then take whatever step that if she does actually go through with it, you can look back without regrets.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 05:10 PM
1

ask your lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/23 04:53 PM
3

good stuff. one thing to remember is always make time for the people who actually care about you. Before divorce, I barely talked to family. My sole hobby was commuting to work. Now I play with my dad about twice a month.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/23 09:48 PM
11

you already got ILYBINILWY, then you got caught like you’re one of her kids, and you’re still thinking of talking to her more about it?
/r/askMRP17/07/23 03:33 PM
16

if you need to spend less time around her and talking to her to move on properly from now on, do that. you have to put yourself first and be in the right place mentally before you can worry about others.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 01:15 PM
25

I would personally let that be the last time I lied for her and wouldn’t have even done it that time.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/23 04:28 AM
6

she made a mistake and you capitalized instead of rolling over and letting it go. nice work.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/23 04:06 AM
20

a MIL that actively pushes her daughter to cheat and break up her family...definitely keep an eye out for your kids. you have your work cut out for you to negate their influence.
/r/Divorce_Men14/07/23 09:14 PM
1

money being an issue can be a good thing. some people are forking insane amounts of money for the foreseeable future. you can sell the house, downsize and save. maybe even look into getting another job for a short period or time or improving your skill set.
/r/Divorce_Men13/07/23 12:47 AM
3

1) it’s a lot better if she reaches out to you 2) if you want to move on, it’s better if she doesn’t anyway
/r/askMRP13/07/23 12:44 AM
11

I said to him “Hi, I’m back!” which I guess he realized it didn’t work out with the other. oof. I don’t really see a way back from that if you’re looking for a serious relationship.
/r/RedPillWomen11/07/23 04:48 PM
10

trying to start a business and walk away from my 9-5 within 2-3 years. do both until it gets to the point you’re losing money by not focusing 100% on your business. also LDR’s are a waste of time.
/r/askMRP09/07/23 02:37 PM
5

she’s resisting signing because it won’t easy to find another guy making the money you are who let her do whatever she wanted.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/23 12:58 PM
7

yep and the person who looks at it as a business arrangement will run circles around the person who doesn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 09:59 PM
39

because freaking out isn’t helpful. you know what you want, now you have to take steps to put yourself in places or talk to people you trust to meet someone who wants the same thing you do.
/r/RedPillWomen08/07/23 04:10 PM
5

one way to look at it is at least you know and you’re in the process of getting a divorce. there’s plenty of people who have no idea and they’re “happily married”.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 03:12 PM
11

before you say anything to anyone, book a consult with a lawyer to see how a divorce would currently go. if you don’t like how it would look now, ask that lawyer, or another one if they don’t know, what steps you can take in the future to make it more bearable. in the meantime, think about if you want to run out the clock until the divorce or take steps to improve your marriage. the risky part about taking steps to improve it is you have to be willing to walk away vs running the clock out you’re…
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/23 12:30 PM
36

your 4 year old was during the marriage and you’re on the birth certificate so that shouldn’t be an issue. for the newborn, if you don’t want custody then you have to move fast since you’ll be the presumed father. get a lawyer ASAP, specifically one that has experience with cases like yours if possible.
/r/Divorce_Men06/07/23 02:39 PM
2

I cannot wrap my finger around why I am so unappealing to her. Her husband who gave her everything and all my time, effort, energy, and forgave her - she sees me as NOTHING but others who have invested way less as so important. I'll never understand. how much she respects or doesn’t respect you matters more than any of that. it might not for a short period of time, but till come back to that at some point.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 11:42 PM
23

ILYBINILWY is the kiss of death.
/r/Divorce_Men03/07/23 11:37 AM
35

your marriage is done. your relationship with your MIL, if there ever was one is poisoned and done for at least the foreseeable future. focus on not breaking your house arrest and preparing for the divorce papers coming your way.
/r/askMRP02/07/23 07:48 PM
4

could be less about you and more about looks he has his own stuff to figure out But he’s very laidback, kinda of slow and passive (or maybe I’m too goal oriented and results focused compared to his chill nature) and he called himself lazy many times. Work seems to overwhelm him, he sleeps really early because he exhausted. We reached a point where I feel he’s running away from me and it doesn’t matter what I do or say, I feel like he feels the pressure of expectations on him.
/r/RedPillWomen26/06/23 12:21 AM
2

go meet with your friend and sleep literally anywhere else, whether it’s a coach, your car, motel or a shelter. every night you close your eyes in that place is a dangerous gamble.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 10:08 PM
4

give an inch and you won’t recognize how far things will go until it’s too late to do anything to stop it.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/23 03:15 AM
9

in the future, unless she checks just about everything else, seriously dating someone who doesn’t want to do something like that is probably a waste of time. that sounds pretty fun. also, enjoy the time you have left with your dad.
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/23 03:29 AM
11

I'm the breadwinner in my household. So I take care of my mom, my grandma, my ex husband and have to pay for the assistant / caregiver to help with things. I'm longing for a man that I can look up to, that leads, provide and protects. Yet it feels wrong to even think about that. I'm miserable and I don't know what to do. it won’t be easy to find that guy with that much going on before kids.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/23 12:32 PM
3

I'm also not sure what my next move should be. Should I talk to my stbxw or his wife first? you should talk to a lawyer first. if you already have one, ask them. everything should be planned out, and keep communication through lawyers. if you do have to talk to her for some reason, look up and stick to grey rock.
/r/Divorce_Men17/06/23 01:55 PM
3

it sounds like you’re set on divorcing her. if that’s the case, then follow through. you don’t want to hold off, then end up starting the same process again later.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/23 02:47 AM
40

it takes two. she had frustrations going back years and instead of saying anything then when it could be fixed, she waited until it was over to make herself feel better and make you feel like you are now.
/r/Divorce_Men13/06/23 12:22 PM
45

I’m guessing you’re around other people in their 20s and that’s mostly what they’re looking for. it’s more the culture than any disrespect to you specifically unless they say something that is. one thing you can do is be upfront about what you’re looking for and try to date people who are looking for the same thing. finding/vetting those guys is another conversation.
/r/RedPillWomen12/06/23 05:55 PM
10

it sounds your marriage has been been over for a while. you could reflect on how you got here and what you could do differently later on.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/23 11:41 AM
10

grey divorces are brutal. try to find ways to lower your cost of living and save money when you can. finding an outlet if you don’t have one already can help (fighting club, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with, or a rage room especially if someone goes with you). if you go with a fighting club tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. visiting friends/family or a place you always wanted to see c…
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:31 PM
7

there’s a difference between legitimate concerns and power games that never end if you give into them. saying no and holding firm is a good first step.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/23 01:13 AM
1

good advice given already. the only things I’ll add are get DNA, STD tests and work on an exit plan with a lawyer. this could be the tip of the iceberg.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 04:23 PM
2

that money move didn’t help but it sounded like she was checked out before then.
/r/Divorce_Men09/06/23 01:27 PM
19

Sometimes for me I find it easier just for me to do stuff, and skip the explaining, but long term this is NOT the relationship I want. most people who live their life one way generally don’t change in a significant way unless something tragic happens.
/r/RedPillWomen08/06/23 09:36 PM
22

you have nothing to apologize for. book a consult with a lawyer and figure out your next steps. also to have a lawyer ready to go incase she hires one herself.
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/23 11:58 AM
11

book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) and start working on an exit plan. and in the future, you should always have plans for different scenarios.
/r/askMRP08/06/23 01:38 AM
41

breathe. you didn’t marry her and you don’t have a kid together. start with figuring out if you want to stay where you are or move and then go from there. example: if you want to move, ask your job if there’s another branch you could go to/start applying for jobs in those places. if you want to stay, try going out more even if it’s just to classes/groups.
/r/askMRP07/06/23 08:30 PM
3

there’s something about him that got you to date him over those guys. reflect on what that is and use it going forward whether you stay or go.
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 11:37 AM
1

I have options - men that I never got to go out with that want to go out with me, that pursue me, that show interest; so I wonder why I should wait for someone who isn't ready to me. are you attracted to those guys?
/r/RedPillWomen07/06/23 02:50 AM
2

finding an outlet if you don’t have one already can help (fighting club, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with, or a rage room especially if someone goes with you). if you go with a fighting club tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. visiting friends/family (that aren’t against you) or a place you always wanted to see could be a good reset as well.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/23 12:35 PM
11

if you don’t put your own needs first, no one else will. she’s certainly putting hers first. the key is when you both align and it’s to the betterment of the relationship/marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 09:49 PM
26

the better question is what’re the reasons to stay in this marriage? a short marriage without kids* is the best time to leave and it’s supposed to be the easiest part. none of this seems easy.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/23 09:28 PM
2

a contested divorce is war. the worse you look, the better it is for your ex. don’t give the other side any ammo.
/r/Divorce_Men03/06/23 06:20 AM
2

ask your lawyer about a co-parenting app if you already using one already. look up grey rock as well.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:03 AM
1

finding an outlet if you don’t have one already can help (fighting club, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with, or a rage room especially if someone goes with you). if you go with a fighting club tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. visiting friends/family or a place you always wanted to see could be a good reset as well. also focus on maximizing the time with your kids you do get.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/23 10:00 AM
4

finding an outlet if you don’t have one already can help (fighting club, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with, or a rage room especially if someone goes with you). if you go with a fighting club tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. visiting friends/family or a place you always wanted to see could be a good reset as well.
/r/Divorce_Men31/05/23 01:09 PM
27

if she asks? sure. but just bringing it up unprompted? I can’t think of a single positive for telling her.
/r/askMRP31/05/23 01:02 AM
16

your best chance is making it official quickly. once someone else gets in her ear or realizes dating now isn’t conductive to getting in a serious relationship, things could get nasty quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 09:01 PM
9

your wife scarred your daughter for life. use the time she’s away to get a lawyer, secure you and your daughters important documents, and figure out an exit plan.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 03:48 PM
1

talk to a lawyer to work on an exit plan and weight your options. also seriously consider getting DNA and STD tests if you never gotten them. you barely knew her back then.
/r/Divorce_Men29/05/23 03:45 PM
5

imagine you had a kid and she acts like this anything isn’t picture perfect...run
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/23 11:44 PM
25

congrats but Also a judge issued coparent therapy. All the things I’ve wanted to say to her all these years and I’ll finally get my chance. write what you want to say in a letter then rip it up or burn it instead. don’t give her any chance to win back anything you just got.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/23 01:55 AM
23

lot of those rich guys don’t care or never learn.
/r/Divorce_Men22/05/23 09:47 PM
11

Wont get into the whole story, but my stbxw has had a tumultuous mental health history in 6 years of dating and pretty much just snapped after getting into a disagreement with my mom just 4 days after our wedding. the only thing you should feel horrible about is saying I do to begin with.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/23 01:55 PM
6

one thing that can help is asking yourself how does doing this help me in the long run? if that action or response isn’t going to help with that, keep it to yourself or delete that text/email.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/23 05:37 AM
1

some good advice given already but finding an outlet if you don’t have one already will also help (fighting club, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with). if you go with a fighting club tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/23 12:37 PM
5

yep and especially if she drops his name to one of these guys and they start asking him for stuff...
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 09:21 PM
8

I’d go for your share of her assets as well.
/r/Divorce_Men12/05/23 11:56 AM
4

you made the right call. wavering and walking things back almost never help in the long run.
/r/askMRP11/05/23 11:36 AM
10

you’ve been married two years. whatever the financial hit would be wouldn’t be that bad. book a consult with a lawyer and let them deal with the contested divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men08/05/23 12:47 AM
46

you’re looking at it the wrong way. some guy wants to spend money to give your kids a vacation? great. that’s time you have all to yourself. use it wisely.
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/23 12:19 AM
5

it won’t change anytime soon. focus more on figuring out the outcome you want, taking steps to make that happen, and surround yourself with people who either want the same or already have it.
/r/RedPillWomen06/05/23 01:04 PM
5

what about when either of you start dating again? you gonna pencil time in time for one of you to leave? in almost every scenario, this setup won’t work.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/23 04:17 PM
20

only if you want to be his third ex wife.
/r/RedPillWomen04/05/23 01:54 PM
13

since you already have mediation scheduled, go to it and see how things go. if she still doesn’t change her mind, either say okay or lawyer up and ask them if it’s possible for her to pay your lawyers fees since it’s supposed to be cut and dry.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/23 12:47 PM
26

you’re working out, giving advice, and didn’t waste time trying to “fix” things...you’re doing better than most. keep doing the work and you’ll be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 08:58 PM
3

that last sentence says it all. her options were stay with you and look into working from home and keep the family together, or take the kids away to her family who will look after the kids during the time she doesn’t. now she has the option to work or not work, put herself in a position to get majority custody while you pay child support and alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 06:41 PM
2

is there anyone in your family that would be willing to move to help you? or you could hire someone to watch the kids when you can’t. also I agree with your first paragraph but regardless of what happens see if it’s possible to keep that job. a well paying job with good supportive leadership is becoming the exception, not the norm.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 05:52 PM
6

your marriage is over. she deceived you and moved your kids miles away to an area that benefits her away from their own life. figure out if you want to fight for your kids to live where you are now or move to where they are. also explain the situation to your job if you do seriously consider moving and see what your options are.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 05:14 PM
4

sounds like you don’t have kids so put on the best performance you can (grey rock if you have to) until the 3 weeks are up and then you can either block or the slow fade out.
/r/Divorce_Men02/05/23 04:32 PM
8

We lived in Spain for 2 years, but our relationship became strained, she even hit me one time when drunk.... I forgave her notice how bad everything eventually got after this? that was your point to get out. “love” can come and go but respect has to always be there. once respect is lost in a relationship, you see the results.
/r/Divorce_Men30/04/23 12:46 PM
4

think of it as a means to an end until the case is over. if you rolled over during the case, your life after it would be that much harder. also on your post about rewriting history look up the light switch effect
/r/Divorce_Men29/04/23 12:18 PM
3

you won before, you can do it again. deal with one problem at a time and go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/23 11:02 AM
1

at least you got out with no kids. learn the lesson and don’t say I do again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 12:48 PM
7

keep doing the work and you’ll come out way ahead. your ex is downgrading already and it won’t get easier from here.
/r/Divorce_Men27/04/23 05:20 AM
7

waiting until after is a smart move. the AP holds her attention which makes it easier to push the divorce though. telling her before usually means the AP ditches her and then all that rage for losing him gets directed at you and the case.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/23 01:14 PM
1

right now you have to focus on these three things. getting a job, your physical and mental health. once you get all three sorted, you can look into other areas.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/23 03:57 PM
10

having a period where you’re single and you learn how to be happy will go a long way. it shows you what you to look for in a relationship. when you do date again, you ask yourself is the person you’re dating an improvement on your single life, around the same, or worse?
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 01:04 PM
1

focus on saving as much as possible (mostly buy on sale and look for stores that have then for things you buy), working out, making the most of the time you do get with your kids, adding to your skill set/apply for a better job and staying sane.
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/23 02:03 AM
1

well played. have you talked to her dad since the punch?
/r/Divorce_Men23/04/23 02:31 PM
14

if you end goal is dating with intention, then this isn’t it. he still has work to do on himself.
/r/RedPillWomen23/04/23 01:17 AM
46

get DNA and STD tests. I doubt this is the first time something happened.
/r/Divorce_Men20/04/23 03:04 PM
3

the mistakes you make yourself usually stick more but there’s nothing wrong with learning from the mistakes of others.
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/23 02:35 PM
3

separating is almost always a waste of time. if someone doesn’t want to reconcile, let them go and file yourself if they won’t.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 11:57 PM
7

you’re not seeing the whole board. you really think she’s not going to be petty back or worse if you do this?
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 04:56 PM
5

the best play is to agree and push the divorce through while she’s still in the affair fog. if that clears up or it doesn’t work out before the divorce is over, you could spend a long time in the courtroom.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/23 03:36 AM
2

there’s a lot of things in place to where it doesn’t matter short term if she doesn’t try everything. she’ll be able to pay bills, get at least 50/50 and will have a place to stay. in the long term, there could be issues, but any of that talk usually goes in one ear and out the other.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:50 PM
2

I’m just so confused; we have two lovely kids together, we own a house. I make great money so she only needs to work 1 day a week, I’ve tried to do everything I could for her and this family. Especially in recent years, this family was my unequivocal #1 priority. that’s great but none of that matters. if one person wakes up one day and wants out, the marriage is over. that’s why marriage rates keep falling. less and less people take those vows seriously by the day.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:37 PM
1

I’d rather know who the idiots are in my life that I can’t trust so I can remove them from it instead of being unaware. look at it as a parting gift from her.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 07:31 PM
2

is going back to school the only path to getting a better job? you could try applying to other jobs and looking up then learning skills that will help you in the long run at your current one/one you want in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/23 12:38 PM
1

but I also believe in the vows I took. both people need to believe those words or they’re just words. it looks like you need to focus on yourself and what’s on your best interest because it seems like that’s what she’s doing.
/r/Divorce_Men14/04/23 02:22 AM
1

draw it out. play the game or get screwed by it.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/23 05:09 PM
4

classic projection. the good news is health permitting, you still have plenty of good years left. finding an outlet if you don’t have one already will help you keep busy and clear your head (fighting club, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with). if you go with a fighting club tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. also going on a trip/visiting friends and family of a place you always wanted to …
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 11:59 AM
8

like others said, it’s not like her libido will magically improve when she becomes a doctor. it sounds like you want to stay with her but I definitely wouldn’t marry her if you’re not happy with your sex life pre marriage. there’s enough stories of what happens post marriage. could you turn it around then? sure, but why put yourself in that position to begin with?
/r/askMRP10/04/23 11:53 AM
9

and I wouldn’t be shocked if they get divorced at a higher rate. seems like the guys who do everything or close to it get treated worse then discarded when the monkey branch is set.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/23 12:05 AM
4

finding an outlet if you don’t have one already will also help (fighting club, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with). if you go with a fighting club (health permitted)tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. also third time is not the charm. don’t get married again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/23 11:48 PM
3

chances are it won’t work out with him or they’ll find ways to bend/ignore what you try to set anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 06:26 PM
11

take the deal and figure out the issues later. if the new guy bolts before your divorce is official, you’ll be looking for a time machine.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/23 06:14 PM
4

unless you have ultimate faith in your lawyer I’d at least start taking consults with other ones. maybe you’ll find one the judge can at least stand.
/r/Divorce_Men06/04/23 01:15 AM
1

here’s a simple way to thing about situations like this, what’s the incentive for the other side to give you money once you sign the claim? that answer will answer your question. sure you could possibly get your money through the courts but that’ll take money and time.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/23 12:52 PM
26

she’s doing it to get this exact reaction which is short term thinking. play the long game, keep focusing on your kids, and you’ll get come out ahead.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/23 03:36 PM
4

the mind games she’d be able to play on you if you give in have broken people.
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 03:08 PM
9

having a period where you’re single and you learn how to be happy will go a long way. it shows you what you to look for in a relationship. when you do date again, you ask yourself is the person you’re dating an improvement on your single life, around the same, or worse?
/r/Divorce_Men01/04/23 06:29 AM
25

overall good things to look out for. the too chill one depends though. some people genuinely don’t care about some decisions they see as small, but will push back or outright refuse if it’s a decision they fundamentally disagree with. so that one depends on how well you know the guy and some context.
/r/RedPillWomen31/03/23 12:39 PM
1

This is not about online dating either, it's legit friend of a friend "hey I know someone you should meet" recommendations. those will be a waste of time more times than not.
/r/Divorce_Men30/03/23 07:50 PM
2

yikes. he’ll learn one way or another. if he has any sense, he won’t let her adopt him. if he did that, and they separated (which they most likely will) it gets treated like a regular custody case with child support on the table.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 01:37 PM
4

she’s still married and he moved her in, I wouldn’t feel bad for him at all.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 12:13 PM
4

https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/122gn7q/aita_for_leaving_a_trip_early_because_of_my/ post is gone but you can see the comments.
/r/MensRights29/03/23 12:10 PM
4

She even convinced her son from a previous marriage ( that I raised like my own and she took his custody from his father with TRO and false allegation of abuse) those were the first flags you walked right past and I’m sure there’s plenty more. someone who does stuff like that only know war. part of war is feigning a truce and using that lull to attack. hopefully, you know who you’re dealing with now, act accordingly and get a lawyer you trust in a war.
/r/Divorce_Men29/03/23 03:20 AM
1

take some of that money you’re making and use it to book a consult with a lawyer. it’ll give you a baseline of what to expect in a divorce and maybe a lawyer you can hire if things turn nasty.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 04:56 PM
4

stop paying the debt and use that money to get a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/23 02:25 AM
5

congrats on your divorce being finalized I meant more your case against them possibly.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 01:01 PM
5

take your case and that email to another lawyer (someone with a solid team/staff) and see what your options are.
/r/Divorce_Men27/03/23 12:40 PM
34

some subs just autoban. offmychest is known for it (trueoffmychest isn’t though).
/r/RedPillWomen27/03/23 03:00 AM
5

book a consult with a lawyer if you don’t have one already so you have a baseline to go off of. also, is there going to be lawyers there or not? if there’s not supposed to be and you show up and see hers, get up and reschedule with one or have a lawyer you can call in if needed.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/23 02:08 PM
3

you need an exit plan. book a consult with a lawyer and start working on one. if you meet with one or a few and they all say you’re screwed if you get a divorce now, ask if there’s anything you can do to improve before you do file. also, what the risks would be waiting vs filing now.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/23 10:57 PM
2

She has told my friends, kids school teachers and her family that I've been abusing her for years. This is not true & to be accused of it feels so shameful, even without any history of it. It's a very dirty move on her part & my friend's wives all believe her. My social circle is crumbling around me. no matter what, they stick tougher. any of your “friends” who stay with their wives after that, I’d lose their number.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/23 09:47 PM
7

1) don’t leave the home unless literally it’s by cops or an order. willingly leaving can be viewed as abandonment and cost you in the divorce. 2) have a place you can go if needed. even if it’s just a coach you can crash on.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 05:57 PM
9

exactly. Tuesday she finds out this guy has 5 other women that he's been actively with while lying to her about a bunch of other stuff. Needless to say she cuts him out completely and is devastated. without that, she wouldn’t want to reconcile anything.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/23 03:58 PM
3

I’d stick to only communicating with her about the kids on a co-parenting apps only.p if she ever tries to talk to about anything else look up and stick to grey rock or just ignore.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/23 06:49 AM
1

sorry for your loss. some grace can be given then unless they keep pushing you to let it go.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 02:29 PM
3

get a lawyer, listen to the lawyer, and get DNA and STD tests as well.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 12:44 PM
6

good points but more on his family...no matter how shitty the situation (and this is shitty) everything that happens is a good opportunity to learn something. if this happened to me and I heard that nonsense coming from people in my family, they’d get cut off.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/23 12:27 PM
2

I saw you hired a lawyer. if your lawyer can’t give you a detailed plan on what you should do, look into getting another one or at least booking a consult (some do free ones).
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 09:51 PM
3

your kids are old enough where it won’t be easy but they’ll be fine. We had second child, got married, not by me proposing but by her effectively dragging me to an engagement shop and picking out engagement ring (i know my bad too). this was where things took a turn for the worse and set the tone for where you are now. if she can force you to do that, she can force you to do other things as the rest of your post showed.
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/23 12:58 PM
17

look for remote work first.
/r/RedPillWomen17/03/23 09:02 PM
7

start by writing out a list of places you want to visit/possibly live. then go there on the weekends. see if you actually like it any of those places before moving.
/r/Divorce_Men17/03/23 01:00 PM
1

look up monkey branching.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/23 12:19 PM
2

take that plan to another lawyer that has experience in family law and see what they say.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/23 12:21 PM
11

don’t move out without a legal agreement in place. it can be viewed as abandonment and cost you if you do divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/23 10:32 PM
3

you have 3 kids, the last thing you need is another one where chances are you won’t be a full time anyway. especially when she’s not even interested in having one with you.
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/23 12:59 AM
2

you learned some valuable lessons and you’ll be able to make a clean break. all that’s left now is figuring out if you want to dig in and fight her on the house or give a little extra to get the divorce over with.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 01:07 PM
5

at least you learned. some people would’ve been planning the wedding already.
/r/Divorce_Men06/03/23 06:51 AM
2

you already stated it’s a dealbreaker so staying isn’t an option now. plus she was probably cheating on you anyway. at the very least, she doesn’t respect you. DNA, STD tests and book a consult with a lawyer then figure out your next steps.
/r/askMRP06/03/23 02:13 AM
36

and whoever actually accepts that is gonna be in a dead bedroom.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/23 02:53 AM
1

that sounds about right. an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. also google serenity’s prayer. the first few lines especially will help a lot.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 04:38 PM
1

unless you live in a no fault state, infidelity doesn’t matter unless you want to tell others. and if you did, you’d risk the divorce and co-patenting relationship turning nasty. also, things have a way of coming out on their own anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 01:38 PM
2

look at it this way, it doesn’t change anything. when one spouse really wants a divorce, the best thing you can do is make it happen ASAP if it’s terms you can live with and plan your next steps. that’s what will matter in the long run, especially since there’s a kid involved.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/23 04:48 AM
2

She's done a lot of shit I think is fucked up, but again I wanted to give her a chance. She's fun and we get along well but I can just tell she's been through some shit I would never do, maybe drugs. what happened to you was because your standards in your mind was conflicting with what you were doing.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 09:18 PM
5

sounds like you should be able to recover just fine. it’ll be even easier if you don’t say I do again.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 01:47 PM
4

a persons friends, how their family is, and how much they interact with them will tell you a lot about who they really are.
/r/Divorce_Men27/02/23 05:42 AM
33

if you haven’t already, talk to a lawyer and work on an exit plan before you even think about telling her. if you don’t, you could end up removed from your home and scrambling to play catch up.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/23 07:12 PM
1

every situation can be learned to use something. explain the situation to your GF and then see how she reacts after she meets your wife. does she dismiss her or start to pull away instead? either result gives you more information about whether you should stay in this relationship or not.
/r/Divorce_Men25/02/23 03:17 PM
20

the only winning move is not to play.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/23 01:25 PM
5

definitely get DNA and STD tests.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/23 05:45 AM
9

don’t rewatch that tape maybe more than once. let a lawyer deal with that. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube so you can see what to avoid doing next time. an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then work out until you can’t anymore. then p…
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 09:40 PM
3

she’s laying the ground work for the kids to be mad at you when the money train stops and she has to cut back.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/23 01:08 AM
2

so she cheated, exposed you to who knows what while trying to lower your guard, and then tried to gaslight you when you were rightfully suspicious. what a keeper.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 10:50 PM
2

at least they told you. a lot of people wouldn’t have said a word.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 10:15 PM
2

he posted on this sub in the past . he didn’t say anything about them not being his so either they were his or he raised them anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men17/02/23 09:44 PM
1

sort by controversial and you’ll see what happens to comments that don’t agree with them.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 05:45 PM
2

in the future, just shake your head and move on. maybe upvote a comment if you see one worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 05:40 PM
4

look up monkey branching. it’s pretty common.
/r/Divorce_Men16/02/23 01:08 PM
1

all attention isn’t good attention.
/r/RedPillWomen15/02/23 05:58 PM
5

the first time she cheats, the relationship is over. people can try to stay and “work things out” and your post shows exactly how that goes. she respects Aaron a lot more than you, the father of her kids. that’s what happens when you take a cheater back. one positive is you learned this before your kids left the house.
/r/Divorce_Men14/02/23 10:28 PM
11

it’d be a bigger issue if he wanted you to meet his kid already, especially since he has a good co-parenting relationship established.
/r/RedPillWomen13/02/23 08:43 PM
2

yep it goes both ways. seriously dating someone right after they been through a divorce or you have, can be just as bad as dating an alpha widow.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 07:13 PM
2

spend some time learning the rules and don’t schedule anything else around volleyballs classes until you have a better handle on the games.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 02:14 AM
1

secure your son’s passport if you can.
/r/Divorce_Men13/02/23 01:09 AM
1

the roll of the judge landed on your side that day. it’s a nice change of pace.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 10:07 PM
2

start with getting to the root of it. did you make an illegal volleyball move because you don’t know the rules or because you weren’t focused?
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 03:12 PM
9

it’s new and exciting with him but chances are it won’t last. good news is by then it won’t be your problem anymore. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube so you can see what to avoid doing next time.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 01:15 PM
9

you made a mistake but you’re getting out. some people would’ve stayed and let the situation get worse and worse. you can make a clean break then take time to figure out what you want when you’re ready.
/r/Divorce_Men11/02/23 04:33 AM
1

she got a kick out of wasting your time and seeing what she could get you to agree to. once you stopped playing her game and faced the possibility of losing even more money, she decided to play ball. if you didn’t cut things off, it would’ve never ended.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 03:46 PM
8

that lawyer had her head so filled up the screaming and crying wasn’t about just losing, it’s all the plans she made with the money she thought she’d having coming in going up in smoke.
/r/Divorce_Men10/02/23 02:59 PM
5

I remember reading a story where the husband could’ve divorced his wife which would’ve forced her to leave the country. their relationship was over but she was the mother of his kids so he didn’t want to separate them. she thanked him by coming after him for as much child support and custody as she could. there’s a time and place to be nice and during a divorce when a lot is at stake usually isn’t one of them.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 05:33 AM
5

wow. I’ve seen and heard some wild stories but that one is up there.
/r/Divorce_Men09/02/23 12:41 AM
7

He won't file while she is sick because the court will not look favorably on me. They don't care that she's cheating. that’s now how this works. you tell the lawyer what you want and they either do it or tell you to get another lawyer. maybe she’s sleeping with him as well...
/r/Divorce_Men08/02/23 11:23 PM
15

the best way to protect was to not get married. for what you should do now, book a consult with a lawyer that knows Egyptian law and has experience with marriages like yours to figure out a path forward.
/r/Divorce_Men06/02/23 03:44 AM
4

never get married again and give a vasectomy some thought. 2 kids by 2 wives is already a lot to deal with especially since it looks like you’ll be living in the courtroom. I’d also get a DNA test when your second kid is born to be safe.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/23 05:22 AM
5

she’s trying to scare you into be happy with whatever she offers so you don’t realize she would actually have to pay you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 05:28 AM
4

do whatever you have to do to get a new lawyer. you may as well wire the money directly to your ex with her.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/23 12:33 AM
19

you don’t have to nuke a shit test. you should be able to swat those away, and since you can’t, STFU is probably your best move for now.
/r/askMRP01/02/23 03:30 PM
3

the most important thing is being or becoming someone your kid can look up to and come to for advice.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/23 01:40 PM
1

look up the light switch effect.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 07:46 PM
28

I'm absolutely not in a place to deal with the likes of her. If we got serious my insecurities would wreak total and complete havoc. She gets attention and dudes sliding in her dms on the reg. No way I could handle that. If she's just looking for a hook-up...I aint the one. No way I could handle getting in to bed with her just to be blocked the next day. you answered your own question.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/23 07:42 PM
3

This fucking sucks and I'm stuck in this situation for at least 2 more years. To top it off, in NC, we have to live separately for 1 year before I can file divorce. tell her go stay with that guy she’s visiting and file. if you live like this for 2 years, there might not be anything left in on the other side. she thinks she has all the power so she’ll ramp up the disrespect. you basically have to do something now even if it’s just a game of chicken.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 01:29 PM
3

it’s a story we’ve seen time and time again. at least any doubts you had are shattered now.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/23 04:46 AM
1

reading that is a good start. an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 07:35 PM
8

she knows what she wants and it’s not you. that’s fine, she can pay support while you farm and raise the kids.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 07:34 PM
2

yep it’s good you have a consult coming up but make sure the lawyer you go with has experience with cases like yours. if they know the judges well, even better.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 01:25 AM
5

don’t willingly leave the home. then it’s up to you if you want to fight for the home, your share (one lumpsum payment or pass) or try to force a sale.
/r/Divorce_Men29/01/23 01:18 AM
24

you didn’t have to tell her next time you’d get up and leave, just do it.
/r/askMRP26/01/23 12:00 AM
4

your friend should look for another lawyer ASAP. when he meets with a new one, ask if they have experience and wins in cases like his.
/r/Divorce_Men25/01/23 01:13 PM
3

treat others as they treat you. she kicked you out and tried to kidnap your kids. how she would treat you is very clear.
/r/Divorce_Men24/01/23 08:33 PM
5

any major change has an adjustment period. an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 03:50 PM
2

document and tell your lawyer exactly what happened. missing a pickup, especially on purpose isn’t great, but blocking is a serious issue. what if there was an emergency and she missed out because she was being petty?
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/23 06:10 AM
2

you can try but I doubt they’ll care. there’s also a non 0% they’ll hold it against you that you asked.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 01:13 PM
11

a half decent lawyer and your friend will be fine. he should be able to get 50% of the assets and he could decide if he wants to go for lifetime alimony to get lump-sum payment instead depending on his personal preference/how the illness goes. personally, if the illness is going bad, and my wife of two decades is trying to divorce and literally kill me by taking me off her medical insurance, I’m going for everything I can and sharing that money with people who actually care about me and maybe go…
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 01:03 PM
37

accept her decision, get a STD test, and either get a prenatal test or a DNA one done before you sign the birth certificate. there’s exceptions to the rule, but leaving during a pregnancy generally means something is going on.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/23 02:25 AM
12

less word salad, more leading by example, especially since there’s a newborn.
/r/askMRP22/01/23 02:20 AM
3

let your lawyer do the negotiations. negotiating hugs isn’t going to get you anywhere marriage wise or on a personal level.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 09:23 PM
5

even if she could, it’s a two year marriage. the longer you put off divorcing her, the bigger headache you could deal with down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men21/01/23 04:39 PM
2

you have one kid that’s in grade school, she’s doing well career wise, and you’re about to retire from the military. on paper, they’ll never be a better time for you to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men20/01/23 05:52 PM
1

explain the situation, figure out some questions based around if they have experience with cases like yours and if they have a plan for yours and go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men19/01/23 08:11 PM
6

talk about it with your lawyer. this could be a time to go on the offensive.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/23 01:13 PM
35

do you seriously have nothing better to do than deal with someone like this? I wouldn’t want her anywhere near me.
/r/askMRP17/01/23 03:58 PM
3

divorce and short term pain now. or stay and long-term pain while you pay her to see other guys that see your kids more than you do later.
/r/Divorce_Men17/01/23 06:12 AM
10

take some time to and figure out what YOU want. not what someone tells you and sounds kinda cool.
/r/askMRP16/01/23 02:36 PM
5

at least you realize you have to leave. you most likely have lived at least half of your life already, don’t spend the rest living like this. meet with lawyers, work on your exit plan, take the financial and probably social hit then take a while to be single, don’t get married or ignore the red flags when you do date again.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 02:33 PM
3

start meeting with lawyers next week and work on an exit plan. I could be wrong but your dad is probably disappointed in your lack of a concrete plan than you yourself. also for an outlet, you can try going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn. if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/23 01:46 PM
6

she will continue to refuse. your divorce was high conflict and she feels she has nothing to gain from arranging a meeting.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/23 04:25 PM
1

that’s an okay starting point but there’s still your 401k, alimony and CS.
/r/Divorce_Men12/01/23 07:07 PM
7

So now I'm sitting in my truck. Nowhere to go. anywhere where there isn’t a person that pointed a gun at you is a good place to start.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/23 07:17 PM
14

she wants to be “friends” so she can have someone to watch her kids while she meets other guys.
/r/Divorce_Men09/01/23 01:22 PM
1

look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube ASAP. there’s at least 3 instances you could’ve stopped this but you let it go and now your marriage is in a place it can’t come back from. with in-laws like that it was proudly a matter of time anyway but going along with all this definitely sped it up.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/23 01:22 PM
2

book a consult with a lawyer that has experience in long marriages and get ready for war. this divorce is going to determine the rest of your life and a good chuck of your kids.
/r/Divorce_Men05/01/23 07:58 PM
2

you’re gonna have to write a fat check to have a shot at protecting your equity but at least you’re avoiding lifetime alimony.
/r/Divorce_Men03/01/23 03:03 PM
5

information is only a small part of the battle. take time to improve yourself and internalize before you even think of another serious relationship.
/r/askMRP30/12/22 06:52 PM
3

does your lawyer have any experience getting these reversed? if not I’d look into getting one that does.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 03:21 AM
1

it’s fine and even natural to have those thoughts but the dream of patching it up almost never matches up to the reality.
/r/Divorce_Men30/12/22 12:46 AM
23

you’re overweight, your wife wants an open relationship and has no respect for you. you have bigger problems than having or not having female friends.
/r/askMRP27/12/22 09:07 PM
3

that’s a start but even that isn’t enough. say they’re making around the same but one person saves their spare money and invests it while the other doesn’t. the person who saved who pays in the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men25/12/22 09:53 PM
7

But my wife was not falling for it. She remained in control. I flaunted with my progress but remained in the beta mindset. My wife kept keeping me in check. 2 weeks ago I quit smoking weed and jacking off, 1 week ago I quit smoking cigarettes. I am in control. Yesterday my wife said "Thank you for ignoring your MS". I've been on the way of trying to ignore it for a year now. I just started ignoring her shittests for the last 2 weeks and passed a comfort test and apparently she just caught on. St…
/r/askMRP24/12/22 01:31 PM
11

these are 3 things that matter the most right now: 1) staying or becoming someone your kids can look up to. 2) saving as much money as possible. have fun with it. look for coupons, sales, and buy in bulk. if you don’t know how to cook, this is the time to learn. 3) develop new skills or brush up on old ones. getting a higher paid job now could just mean higher child support. but if you take your time developing, get a side/weekend job when you’re ready, then you can time getting a promotion or n…
/r/Divorce_Men24/12/22 01:19 PM
19

long distance relationships don’t work. long distance relationships when you’re not even old enough to drink really don’t work.
/r/askMRP23/12/22 02:31 AM
8

you’re human and you were with her for over a decade. it’d be weird if you didn’t feel something. the biggest thing is you realized you don’t have to save her this time. some people never grow out of that.
/r/Divorce_Men22/12/22 04:58 PM
2

book a consult with a lawyer and work on your exit plan. if divorce would suck today, ask how to make it more bearable in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men18/12/22 08:06 PM
1

book a consult with another lawyer. maybe your lawyer is right and fighting isn’t worth it. but if he’s wrong, he’s clearly not the guy you want riding with you to war.
/r/Divorce_Men15/12/22 12:25 AM
18

the first time Sarah was late, you should’ve established boundaries. you let it slide and you see the result. stop letting it slide and don’t make up a reason why.
/r/askMRP14/12/22 05:59 AM
18

things suck now but it’s better to find out who she really is 10 years in instead of 20 or 30.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 07:46 AM
9

book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) before you make a decision on your job and don’t willingly leave the martial home no matter what she says.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 12:59 AM
5

the obvious solution is staring you in the face.
/r/Divorce_Men11/12/22 12:00 AM
4

if it actually got you primary custody that couldn’t get changed a few months after you pay her it could be worth it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 10:24 PM
5

are you on the fence about having kids? if you’re sure you don’t want kids, consider getting a vasectomy.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 09:28 PM
4

Married for 9 years to a lawyer (I'm not a lawyer) who has many lawyers in her family (no lawyers in my family growing up). Via therapy she's gained some awareness of these tendencies (via very heavy lifting) but she seems to be generally unaware of doing these things in real time. During this remote working era, I sometimes overhear her talking to clients/opposing counsel, and I hear her engaging in some of the same tactics that she does with me. she’s not unaware of anything. this is who she i…
/r/askMRP10/12/22 04:23 PM
10

in your last post you said you were a simp for her and she is the mother of your kids so it does take time. an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men10/12/22 01:15 PM
68

he doesn’t care about organizing. so if you stay with him, you would have to handle that part of your relationship. it’s up to you if it’s a dealbreaker or not.
/r/RedPillWomen09/12/22 03:06 PM
16

“I’ll take your suggestion under advisement”
/r/Divorce_Men07/12/22 09:08 PM
4

hire your own lawyer if you haven’t already and find out if your state is one or two party for recording.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 11:11 PM
18

some comments are sympathetic but others think he’s hiding something or not telling the full story. some people don’t know about the cycle until they end up in it themselves.
/r/Divorce_Men06/12/22 01:43 PM
2

I was talking more about her than you. once you really establish yourself after this is over you’ll get better responses anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 04:52 PM
5

focus on your kid, job, improving your life, fitness, and you’ll be just fine in the long run. people who constantly seek short term thrills with no plan for the future won’t until that changes.
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 04:46 PM
11

now you see how much a cheaters promise is worth. an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. also, try to get at least one thing done a day. it doesn’t matter how many minutes it takes to get it done. once you go …
/r/Divorce_Men05/12/22 01:41 PM
8

is he taking any meds and has he ever gotten his testosterone levels checked?
/r/RedPillWomen04/12/22 12:38 PM
4

force a sale of the house or buy her out. you’re offering good faith solutions. those only have a shot of working in an amicable divorce which this clearly isn’t.
/r/Divorce_Men04/12/22 05:22 AM
18

lawyer, STD and DNA test. these are very suspicious moves for a one year marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men03/12/22 03:19 PM
8

In fact, nobody even knows I’m a housewife but my closest friends and family. The reason I let people assume I’m a liberal feminist is because my livelihood is on the line spend more time talking to them than people you have to put an act around. also, can’t you sell your work online?
/r/RedPillWomen02/12/22 07:04 PM
41

doesn’t sound like it’s your problem. push for temporary support or a sale of the home.
/r/Divorce_Men02/12/22 01:34 PM
2

once you reached this point in the marriage, either you map out a plan to work on things and set a time limit on it or you leave now. if you bring up a post-nup now, it’s not too far off from handing her papers since you know the kind of reaction you’ll get.
/r/Divorce_Men01/12/22 03:52 PM
3

try focusing more on the positives than the negatives for now. then see if there’s adjustments you can make yourself or together or at least something you can build off of.
/r/RedPillWomen30/11/22 05:46 PM
4

the most important thing post divorce is establishing the tone. if you have a rare divorce where it’s amicable and going fairly then you could be a little generous. this clearly isn’t that. force a sale of the house or make her buy you out. no installation payments either. a lump sum payment. if she can’t afford it, or won’t agree to signing away alimony/CS (she might be able to go after CS later anyway so talk to your lawyer about that) then no deal. then ask your lawyer about your options with…
/r/Divorce_Men29/11/22 03:44 PM
3

Long story short, we ended up having a conversation yesterday that led to my girlfriend admitting she had been fantasising about someone else (for the record they've definitely never met, and he lives hours away). I said it's ok to have thoughts and fantasies about other people, you're only human and not to feel guilty about it; she said I feel guilty because I should feel that way about you. I mean that’s one response. another is walking out the door. does that mean you file or come back and st…
/r/askMRP29/11/22 01:03 PM
26

secure your son’s passport and work on your exit plan.
/r/askMRP28/11/22 05:53 PM
2

Which is what the court order states, but the next sentence says that it is late on the 15th. She’s blown my phone up all afternoon about it because I told her I don’t get paid until the 2nd. Which would be stupid on her part because she’s also cohabiting with her boyfriend, which would put her in contempt. But its just the simple fact that I’m paying twice what her other two exes were ordered to pay, and she did nothing to enforce theirs, but she wants to run her mouth at me. maybe they don’t p…
/r/Divorce_Men28/11/22 03:42 AM
2

I’d see if it’s possible to get your ex (gf) on the stand if your ex is going to use that and question her credibility. even if that doesn’t go anywhere, with your ex (wife) stick to a co-parenting app only. I’ve seen a lot of stories but this is one of the most vile things I’ve seen yet. look for your own chance to even the playing field and make sure your lawyer is ready for a fight.
/r/Divorce_Men27/11/22 09:02 AM
8

another way of looking at is it you still have family members that care about you and are alive. plenty of people spent Thanksgiving alone and not by choice.
/r/Divorce_Men26/11/22 11:20 PM
12

people are raised thinking it’s rude to not respond. one thing that can help is asking yourself is what they said worth responding to and is it going to lead to a back and forth where your time is spent better elsewhere?
/r/askMRP26/11/22 02:28 PM
21

because people feel that they have to respond to everything. theres at least one interaction a day whether it’s over text, phone, or in person where STFU is better than responding. do it at least once a day and go from there.
/r/askMRP26/11/22 02:05 PM
9

the rates on second marriages are terrible. if someone gets married once, especially when there’s kids involved, I can understand it. but getting married a second time usually leads to a third and so on.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 03:40 PM
5

it’s not of the blue for her. she divorced you in her mind at least months ago. I don’t know anything about that site but you can look for a free consult with a lawyer and ask them about it and the divorce process in general.
/r/Divorce_Men25/11/22 12:53 PM
1

if you can get 50/50 go for it, but generally, it comes down to how the father carries himself and the respect (or lack thereof) the mother has for the father. if there’s respect, I’ve heard stories where the dad pops up a few times a year if that and the kids adore him. I’ve heard others where the dad is around, pays for everything, and none of them like him let alone respect him.
/r/Divorce_Men22/11/22 05:40 AM
22

it means you STFU. when someone says something you don’t have to respond.
/r/askMRP22/11/22 05:36 AM
24

your defaults should be STFU or amused mastery. this was neither.
/r/askMRP22/11/22 05:29 AM
3

google the light switch effect. then start reaching out to the friends you do have and see if you can meet up with them. you most likely have lived at least half of your life. figure out what YOU want to do with the other half, make it happen, and try to have some fun.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 10:55 PM
8

the hardest part about staying with a cheater is more likely than not, they’ll lose respect for you. once respect is lost, it’s basically over. you’ve been married for 8 years, but your marriage has been over for longer than that. you were just doing what you thought needed to be done to keep your family together when the best thing was serving her after the first time and getting tests done.
/r/Divorce_Men21/11/22 07:31 PM
9

you were a fat nice guy until your kids were teenagers, got it together for almost 3 years, then (even though there’s an actual reason) lost the progress you made. this time around, you’re going to have to show consistency for longer. she doesn’t want to get her hopes up again and then it falls apart.
/r/askMRP19/11/22 06:07 PM
3

are you usually this vague? you barely said anything specific but Deciding to stay faithful for the rest of my life with a woman who I find unpleasant to be around, and isn't getting in line, is looking like a higher price. says a lot
/r/askMRP19/11/22 05:20 PM
2

then the path forward isn’t easy but it’s simple. take a walk/drive or trip somewhere if possible and write out a plan with multiple actionable steps. then either put it in an extremely safe place or get rid of it before you leave.
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 04:27 PM
2

think about it like this. imagine if you had a conversation with yourself before you got married. would the past you say your life is going how you planned, or say it’s time to get your life in order?
/r/Divorce_Men18/11/22 12:16 PM
10

opening up a monogamous relationship is stupid. opening up a monogamous relationship while you’re married is even worse. if there’s kids involved, you’re adding potential chaos to their lives. also, there’s plenty of guys who LOVE sleeping with women in relationships. there’s a lower chance they leave and she’s willingly to let loose with them. if you or your “friend” wants to hang around while another man gets better sex with their wife while they watch the kids, go for it.
/r/askMRP18/11/22 12:05 PM
5

you’re being too reactive. focus more on improving yourself to the point where it doesn’t matter what your wife does or doesn’t do because you know you’ll be seeing someone who enthusiastically wants you whether you stay or go.
/r/askMRP17/11/22 09:30 PM
11

good for you and all but I suspect that a lot of the bad habits I picked up, especially around covert contracts, DEER and not gaming my wife, would have never developed if birth control hadn't been throttling her libido. there’s only one person to blame for that and it’s not her. if you don’t get that, it doesn’t matter what she’s taking or not taking, it’ll happen again.
/r/askMRP17/11/22 02:49 AM
2

if you go that route, make sure it’s written by your lawyer in a way they can’t hurt you on the backend.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 11:16 PM
6

you’re not being a good friend, you broke up with your boyfriend, and there’s no future this guy (for multiple reason). what’s your end goal?
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/22 10:48 PM
1

you could cook something at your parents place or a friends then bring it to his.
/r/RedPillWomen16/11/22 09:22 PM
4

the lawyer you hire for a contentious divorce is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make so take your time. you don’t like the rates of one? that’s fine. book a consult with another and ask about their fees before you make the trip. if you don’t like what you hear, call another one. then when you do find one with rates you like, make sure they have experience with cases like yours.
/r/Divorce_Men16/11/22 04:14 PM
5

attraction is important to you so focus on finding someone you’re attracted too that can at least take care of himself financially.
/r/RedPillWomen15/11/22 03:04 AM
7

figure out the life you want and take steps to make that life a reality. everything else outside of work and family/close friends/your SO that have your back is just noise.
/r/RedPillWomen14/11/22 05:17 PM
10

wanted kids sooooo bad (the only thing that will make her happy) that I finally gave in- now that we had two children we HAD to have a house in the suburbs that’s how it starts. once you give it on one thing, it spirals and leads you down the marriage wheel (google it) until it spits you out when there’s a soft landing spot for them.
/r/Divorce_Men14/11/22 01:00 PM
2

one day she’ll reach back you to see how “you’re doing”. hopefully you know what to say when that day comes.
/r/Divorce_Men13/11/22 09:24 PM
25

he doesn’t want to get married so he used that to hurt and distract you. now you’re thinking about what he said instead of marriage.
/r/RedPillWomen10/11/22 06:50 AM
17

I don’t see it as a left vs right issue because the right had control for years and look where we still are.
/r/Divorce_Men09/11/22 12:59 PM
3

Godspeed.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 10:21 PM
6

being financially set is good but have you seen the stats on second marriages?
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 10:12 PM
2

there’s too many people one bad day away from making a headline for me to mess with someone in a relationship.
/r/askMRP08/11/22 08:38 PM
3

ask that couple what their favorite alcohol is, send them a bottle, then never get married again and you’ll be fine in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 01:42 PM
15

She has an identical twin sister whose husband has been my best friend for six years. They cut me out and won’t let me see their kids either because they’re in her corner, even while we were trying to fix things. one day, his wife will do the same thing to him yours is doing to you. I’d personally tell him where to go when it does and he reaches out to you but it’s your call what you want to do when the time comes. in the meantime you gotten good advice already but an outlet can help a lot if yo…
/r/Divorce_Men08/11/22 01:39 PM
47

your boundaries apparently mean nothing and so do her apologies. she’s not scared of what happens when she gets caught. you might also have an alpha widow on your hands. are you sure that’s your kid?
/r/askMRP07/11/22 05:14 PM
5

only entertain a buyout if she can do a one time lump sum payment. if she can’t do that, force a sale.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 01:33 PM
2

for recording. that’s good. I do not know your financial situation but generally she won’t file until she’s in an advantageous position, or already monkey branched.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:53 AM
1

is your state one party consent? she was trying to bait you into making a mistake. would’ve been a call to the cops and her lawyer shortly after.
/r/Divorce_Men07/11/22 04:17 AM
35

Being in mom groups with other stay at home moms complaining about the same things definitely hasn’t helped, and made me feel entitled to my constant complaining. start with leaving that group. Instead of thanking him for all he does for us, he’s met with constant complaints from me about being overwhelmed, not having enough time and not having more help with the kids and around the house. next time you catch yourself complaining or about to, take a deep breath and internally ask yourself is thi…
/r/RedPillWomen07/11/22 12:55 AM
2

when her own father says take your kids and go...you should do it. book a consult with a lawyer and figure out the best way to exit.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 05:54 AM
3

an outlet can help you cope. putting that much importance and energy into one person doesn’t help you or them. if you don’t have one already you could try going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn. if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men06/11/22 01:00 AM
2

she wants a divorce, she can’t afford the mortgage, so either sell the home or buy her out. don’t move anywhere.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 08:35 PM
6

you dealt with this before, it didn’t go well, now you’re doing it again and trying to make it work anyway. some people really need to learn the hard way.
/r/askMRP05/11/22 04:09 PM
3

he can but it’s more about the bigger picture than this specific case. there’s guys his ex has dated (or wanted to) she wouldn’t even dream of pulling any of this crap with. he doesn’t have to be like those guys, but he does have to establish himself as someone she can’t keep doing this to without consequences. him saying he doesn’t want her arrested is part of a bigger problem and I doubt it helped him in this case.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 03:16 PM
5

I said I don't want her arrested because I was somehow more scared of that, but they said it was their decision and not mine to make. you need to shed this mentality. if you shoved her, you’d be in a cell right now and she’d be blasting you all over social and anyone she came into contact with. it didn’t matter this time but from here on out, don’t hold back.
/r/Divorce_Men05/11/22 02:39 PM
31

He is also a very busy person who is doing extremely well for himself, has his own business and works at another well known company and is also trying to buy a house he said he’s okay with it but unless he’s just seriously head over heels for you, I don’t think taking sex off the table now is going to get you the outcome you want. if that’s the path you want to stick to, it might be with someone else.
/r/RedPillWomen05/11/22 01:47 PM
30

so you have a wife, a gf, they’re both cool with it, and you’re still unhappy? the answer isn’t you’re looking for has very little to do with your wife, look in the mirror.
/r/askMRP04/11/22 10:23 PM
15

start working on your exit plan. whether that’s lowering your income, increasing hers, or waiting until you wouldn’t have to pay CS.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 07:40 PM
2

don’t leave the 100k alone for nothing. figure out the agreement you want with a lawyer, and you don’t fight for it if you get what you want. if you don’t, then everything should be on the table.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 04:31 PM
3

no kids? young marriage? leaving now saves you a lot of pain down the road. then take some time to be truly single, build yourself up, then you can have any kind of relationship you want.
/r/Divorce_Men04/11/22 12:17 PM
10

Then she send me a long paragraph saying that after I read it I'll be under her spell and I'll want to fuck her after midnight (she's always been into witchcraft bullshit) This bitch is in a relationship and keeps boasting about her bf and how happy she is with him on social media sleeping with one eye open isn’t enough with people like that. block again and ignore.
/r/askMRP04/11/22 05:35 AM
10

Wife drinks and parties a lot. When she does, she is very disrespectful and dismissive of me in front of others, and neglects the kids. It’s very clear that she does not see me as the prize, and that attraction is not there. The only thing I want less than a divorce is to continue living in this low connection state. divorce needs to on the table and something you’re ready to pull the trigger on before you get silver bulleted and you’re looking for a coach to crash on.
/r/askMRP04/11/22 04:22 AM
8

in this case it was a power play. I heard the popular narrative but I don’t buy it seems like he’s invoked in his kids lives plenty and works about half the year. she wanted to establish the tone for his post playing career and he bucked against it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 07:50 PM
7

all you can control is making the best of the time you do have with your daughter. being someone she can look up to and guiding her down the right path can go a long way. continue to let all the badmouthing stay on their side.
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:32 PM
1

why do you have to be the one to move out? also, did she start that business while you were married?
/r/Divorce_Men03/11/22 03:26 PM
40

not saying this to be mean, but if another guy like your ex wanted to seriously date you, it would’ve happened sometime in the last 4 years. that doesn’t mean you should just stay with this guy though. if you can’t respect him like you would ex you built up in your head, at some point there’s a chance he’ll notice and your relationship will start to go downhill.
/r/RedPillWomen02/11/22 09:14 PM
7

you already have kids and you’re over 50, there’s more reasons to get it done than not at this point.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 04:26 PM
10

I started a lot of arguments via calls since I've been away. I've acted jealous and insecure over stupid shit, acting way overly sensitive. And the worse I got, the more she threw shit tests at me, and I failed most of them. I was no longer the cool guy she knew. She used to be insecure about ME! Now it's the other way around. I've been away for 1.5 months now, and we video call every night --her idea. you should have better things to do than video chat with her EVERY night. At the start of our …
/r/askMRP02/11/22 11:44 AM
4

get far away from her and if she does end up pregnant, make sure your name isn’t on the birth certificate.
/r/Divorce_Men02/11/22 03:13 AM
1

it’s very situational. I’ve read stories where something small leads to a divorce and others where the husband cheated left right and center and the wife wants to stay and work on things.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 08:02 PM
4

outside of getting a deal you can live with, one of if not the most important thing in a divorce is setting the tone for post-divorce life. if you roll over and give her whatever she wants, the dynamics post divorce will mirror that. that doesn’t mean burn money if you don’t have a chance, but let it be known through actions or words that you’re willing to go to war if needed.
/r/Divorce_Men01/11/22 06:33 PM
3

never give anything without getting something in return, especially with someone who you don’t have any trust with.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 06:13 PM
2

and he’ll get everything he deserves with that kind of mindset.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 05:04 PM
5

marriage is hard enough these days, being a SAHD makes it that much harder. co-worker affairs are a tale as old as time, that compare and contrast being them, her bosses, then you in that SAHD box isn’t good for a marriage. but at least you got out and got your share.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 02:40 PM
5

focus on your job, outlet, kids, don’t get married again and you’ll be just fine.
/r/Divorce_Men31/10/22 03:20 AM
9

For some reason 4 years ago, she started to treat me really bad out of the blue. I was treating her very well still and now 4 years later she files for a divorce but is mad at me for being done?! her monkey branch isn’t at stable as she hoped.
/r/askMRP30/10/22 03:55 PM
18

I have fallen in love with someone who has another long distance relationship. I know this is morally reprobable and I feel very sad and confused about this situation. He says he does like me very much but that he feels he can't hurt this partner, especially as she has been helping him financially for a long time. he’s not ready to be a husband let alone a father.
/r/RedPillWomen28/10/22 03:07 PM
11

bringing a kid into this while you’re unsure wasn’t wise but at least keep it to the one for now. at the end of the day you have to live a life you’re happy with. putting other people’s needs and wants above your own usually leads to that person getting taken advantage of or being miserable to be around.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 12:58 PM
3

take a walk/drive or trip somewhere if possible and write out the pros and cons of every path you’re considering. then either put it in an extremely safe place or get rid of it before you leave and make a decision.
/r/Divorce_Men28/10/22 02:26 AM
24

We've been engaged for nine years. The thing is, especially in the last six years, she's just wigging and kind of crazy. If I don't keep my eyes on her, I don't even know what she'll do. you should end the nine year engagement, marry her, and have kids. that’ll solve everything.
/r/askMRP28/10/22 02:24 AM
3

yep a lot of people had their chance to get out early and choose the wrong path. one thing guys who walked that path can do though is find a lawyer that has experience with cases like theirs and see if there’s an exit plan that could make it somewhat bareable. if there’s not then at least you can say you tried or look into some more drastic options.
/r/Divorce_Men27/10/22 02:36 PM
1

yep and you always want to be prepared in general but now you definitely want to be prepared since you went down this path and it doesn’t take much for it to reach a boiling point.
/r/askMRP26/10/22 08:14 PM
5

And I told her never to say that to me again and that is strike two - strike three will be the end. Further fighting ensued. there’s definitely competition but this was your biggest mistake.
/r/askMRP26/10/22 06:56 PM
7

whether you realize it or not, you’re basing too much of your life around her. by a lot of metrics you’re doing well, but you’re still basing success on what your wife does or doesn’t do and she’s picking up on that.
/r/askMRP26/10/22 12:48 PM
22

yeah I thought her friends might’ve just been jealous from the tittle (could still be part of it). but when she shared bad parts of the relationship with them and then post here without even saying what it is...I can see where her friends are coming from.
/r/RedPillWomen26/10/22 11:40 AM
3

at the end of the day, if you signed a bad agreement, no matter how bad your lawyer was, you’d be the one that’d have to bear it. congrats on doing everything you can to not be left holding the bag.
/r/Divorce_Men26/10/22 11:22 AM
1

why spend time with people who constantly put you down?
/r/askMRP24/10/22 03:33 PM
5

being committed to something with someone when you both align on the same vision can be a great thing. but when they know they can push and push and don’t think you’ll ever leave, that commitment can be used against you.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 03:24 PM
27

you’re in a DB with someone who hates what you love, and drags arguments for hours. what are you getting by staying?
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:46 PM
7

A little while later, she went on a suspicious vacation with two of her friends to New Orleans. Upon returning home, it was like she was a different person. There were NO photos of the vacation. What 3 35 year old females go on vacation and dont take any photos? She came home on drugs. with drugs. not even acting like herself. She stated two of her friends had "boyfriends" set up waiting for them. She mentioned a sex party they went to. I kinda freaked out and she never mentioned it again and si…
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 12:55 PM
1

add for now to the end of anything with her. her mind would change again if you actually tried again.
/r/Divorce_Men24/10/22 02:28 AM
3

work on your exit plan with a lawyer that had experience and at least done degree of success with cases like yours. also an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men23/10/22 06:10 AM
2

in probably this order, break up with her, make a workout plan, read the sidebar over and over.
/r/askMRP23/10/22 05:31 AM
10

you want her to keep her job so the financial hit you were looking at last time isn’t as bad. the problem with improving someone’s life so drastically is they can forget what life was like before you. they focus on the benefits and the new attention they get more than the person who made it happen. if you don’t leave now, I have a hard time seeing you not looking bad on that decision with regret later.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 03:54 PM
2

the courts give the non working spouse no incentive to work.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 03:44 AM
6

you got one shot to do it right if you do and you can’t go back. whatever route you go, plan accordingly and make a decision you can live with.
/r/Divorce_Men22/10/22 02:43 AM
4

that’s awesome he has you guys helping him. definitely take it to the media. start local if you have to then send the articles/videos to bigger companies. even if it doesn’t help his case it’ll at least spread awareness.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 08:13 PM
4

if he has any paid time off, now’s the time to use it.
/r/Divorce_Men21/10/22 02:54 PM
2

consult with a lawyer to make sure the deal couldn’t get changed down the road, then take it and run.
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 09:22 PM
3

is she going to buy you out?
/r/Divorce_Men19/10/22 12:00 PM
5

she’s playing you. she knows exactly what buttons to push to get what she wants from you. work with the lawyer you pick on an exit plan. you got one shot at removing yourself before she uses every tool she has against you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 09:45 PM
12

your tolerance level for BS is too high but so are a lot of guys. that night should’ve been the end of the marriage and you could’ve called it before then. once you forgave her for that, she changed her mind of having kids. maybe that’s how she really feels but she lost respect for you when she cheated and you took her back even though your marriage wasn’t good before that. everything you’re experiencing with her now is because the marriage weight has been lifted. if you push for and get another…
/r/Divorce_Men18/10/22 11:53 AM
3

play the system or it’ll play you. well done.
/r/Divorce_Men17/10/22 07:36 PM
12

she monkey branched. don’t stress yourself out over what if’s. focus on what you can control now like making the most out of your time with your kids and staying or becoming someone they can look up and ask for advice.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 01:54 PM
11

do you have a lawyer? if yes, explain all this to them before you make another move. you’re already on the hook with co-signing.
/r/Divorce_Men16/10/22 11:00 AM
5

your ex’s BF is a simp buying brownie points. she’ll fleece him for as much as he keeps letting her. worrying more about maximizing the time you do get with your daughter and ways to improve your skills and make more money then everything else will fall in line.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 11:44 PM
51

the praise they get for those clips is why it gets louder and louder. the best response is to not get married.
/r/Divorce_Men15/10/22 03:22 AM
1

you can divorce her, heal, sort yourself out and have a kid later on if you want with someone who’s actually sane. it’ll be a lot harder for her and she’s on OT at best so she’s trying to make it work with you, but it’s not genuine. having a kid with her would be the biggest mistake of your life. look at how she treats your mom. I wouldn’t even want to date her let alone have kids with her.
/r/Divorce_Men13/10/22 12:25 PM
1

How did you do it? How did you tell her you want a divorce? I’m really struggling to just come out and tell her until I can figure out how to save some money to start over with. I have no friends, I gave those all up raising my kids and supporting her so I have no where to go but at this point I feel like living in my truck would be better than staying any longer. Thanks for listening to ( reading ) A distraught dad. start by meeting with lawyers and working on your exit plan. also, reach back o…
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 09:54 PM
11

something that will help is realizing once you’re an adult, people can suggest, but unless they’re paying your salary, they can suggest, but can’t make you do anything. take ownership of your part, forgive yourself, and be thankful you don’t have kids with her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/10/22 04:35 PM
28

she woke up from the affair fog but that’s not your problem. you did what you were supposed to do and pushed the divorce through before she got out of it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 05:43 PM
3

if you feel like you have to give acting a chance or you’ll regret it the rest of your life then go for it. regarding custody though, chances are she’ll have at least majority for a long time and probably until he’s 18 if you move. maybe if you get some success and when your kid gets older he might want to spend more time in LA but don’t bank on it. the best way to look at this if you move is work hard enough to at least making a living, then living comfortably, and if you get to spend time with…
/r/Divorce_Men11/10/22 04:01 PM
2

sounds like that therapist was actually a good one then.
/r/Divorce_Men10/10/22 03:54 PM
2

good on you for getting out before it got worse but how did you get to 3 marriage therapists in 5 years?
/r/Divorce_Men09/10/22 08:11 PM
6

most people who blast how good of a team they’re having on social aren’t truly happy. even if they actually are, having it last is another thing entirely. focus on your goals and you’ll win in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men07/10/22 01:35 PM
1

np. that makes it less likely she’ll take any steps to change. I do believe in working things out if it’s a situation where there’s still respect but I’m not seeing any.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 07:53 PM
1

PPD is possible but if she doesn’t believe it or won’t do anything about it doesn’t matter. start booking consults with lawyers (don’t say a word to anyone) and figure out what you’d be on the hook for now and in the future if you start making more.
/r/Divorce_Men06/10/22 11:51 AM
2

what does your family think about him? it’s important, especially at a young age, to have people that can vet the person you’re dating before you take the next step.
/r/RedPillWomen05/10/22 11:05 PM
25

couple of things: 1) separations are almost always a waste of time. unless you did something seriously messed up if she really wanted to work things out with you, she wouldn’t leave. 2) this is just the first time you know of her cheating. get DNA and STD tests. 3) I’m not sure how you’re looking for places but trying downloading apps and going on Craigslist. 4) start looking up lawyers today and think about how much custody you want of your kids. 5) an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have on…
/r/Divorce_Men05/10/22 01:20 PM
2

get a lawyer and have them negotiate for you. if they have experience with cases like yours, even better.
/r/Divorce_Men04/10/22 12:05 PM
5

I’d try a lump sum payment if you can afford it.
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 04:57 PM
7

are you going through the divorce process now or is it incoming?
/r/Divorce_Men03/10/22 04:05 PM
32

keep strolling though stories here, and on the cheating subreddits and your interest in marriage will fade away.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 05:54 PM
3

work on and exit plan and find a lawyer that can help you make one instead of just telling you how screwed you are.
/r/Divorce_Men02/10/22 01:22 PM
7

her boyfriend 100% coached her dad. you were probably being recorded as well.
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 07:42 PM
2

I asked if she still loves me and her responce was I don't know. She said a few weeks back that she needed some space to breath. at this moment your marriage is dead. if she loved you the answer would be an instant yes. and the last thing women want is space from guys they really desire. whether she’s stepping out or it could be saved is a separate issue. the most important thing is preparing yourself for if she decides to file. book consults and start meeting with lawyers next week. figure out …
/r/Divorce_Men01/10/22 02:45 PM
10

for you* if you ever got a look at her phone, all your questions would be answered.
/r/Divorce_Men30/09/22 05:58 AM
2

always put yourself first and things tend to fall in line from there. there’s plenty of stories of guys who put their wives or families first then got shafted one way or another.
/r/Divorce_Men29/09/22 06:13 PM
22

their next guy isn’t secured yet.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 11:02 PM
6

google the light switch effect and getting zero’d out.
/r/Divorce_Men28/09/22 12:23 PM
2

google HSV2 dating app and there’s some options.
/r/askMRP28/09/22 12:17 PM
5

if you do end up having kids with him, are you prepared to handle most (maybe all) of the childcare while not being resentful at him? maybe it won’t go that away but from reading your post that sounds like a possibility.
/r/RedPillWomen27/09/22 04:26 AM
3

yeah that’s what I’m talking about. I shared a post a few weeks ago. this is how stepfathers usually get treated. it doesn’t matter how much you do. that’s why the best bet is to stay away.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 02:02 PM
8

I'm sorry if this is hard to read I suck at explaining stuff, I been with her almost 2 years and things were good for like the first 6 months of being married and now it's like I don't even know who she is anymore, she constantly makes everything my fault and says all I do is hurt her feelings, and so I don't even feel in love with her anymore, I'm not happy and she's mentally drained me. There's no sex anymore, witch she says is my fault. and that’s why marriage rates keep declining. her being …
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 12:46 PM
7

other people gave good advice already so I’ll just focus here: She doesn't give blowjobs, which I thought I was fine with but am not. she doesn’t give them to you* there was a guy she did give them to, and one she will in the future, the difference is those guys know better than to marry her. if something is important to you, don’t compromise. if you do, it leads to death by a thousand concessions.
/r/Divorce_Men25/09/22 05:37 AM
1

anything that if you needed it and couldn’t find it wouldn’t be easy to get a copy of or would take a long take to get a replacement.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 02:43 PM
2

you’re at a crossroads. there’s one path you leave now, sure you take a hit publicly and financially, but it’s nowhere near as bad if you cheated. the other path is you stay and try to work things out. the most likely scenario is that doesn’t work, and you end up paying more to leave, especially if you have a kid. your start the process of leaving by working on an exit plan. gather your important documents, secure them, and book consults with lawyers to see what a divorce would look like.
/r/Divorce_Men24/09/22 12:15 PM
6

My last relationship with an RP man ended because me advancing my education and career caused serious issues with him. It escalated into verbal abuse. he was verbally abusing you, it wasn’t going to work out anyway. I've had one police officer swoon over me all night with compliments on how I'm the total package and why would I be interested in him....then ghost. Another man wined and dined me for weeks on end until he ghosted.....Found out he was dating another women. the second guy is a cheate…
/r/RedPillWomen23/09/22 11:40 AM
7

she wants to stay in the house, bring over whoever she wants, have you pay for it, while you have to find another place to stay...don’t even think about moving out.
/r/Divorce_Men23/09/22 11:11 AM
5

your marriage is done. get DNA, STD tests and work on your own exit plan. your “wife” is working on hers right to your face.
/r/Divorce_Men22/09/22 02:34 PM
18

I asked if she trusted that I knew what I was doing. "Honestly, no" Wife went up to bed early and reminded me to pack lunches for us. yikes.
/r/askMRP20/09/22 02:31 PM
7

this is what you’re looking at if you don’t take the advice here and get back in into your house.
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 05:58 PM
1

From my understanding I could quite literally boot her out of the house and not pay her anything since it was purchased solely in my name before marriage. The only reason I’m even considering this is because she has acted like a controlling narcissistic b*tch this whole time and CONTINUES to do so after finding out she has no legal claim to the house. that’s even more reason to kick her out. doing so now is tricky since you let her stay so long, but it’s what you should’ve done from the start. y…
/r/Divorce_Men19/09/22 01:46 PM
10

if you’re the guy she wants, you’re her family. it doesn’t matter what anyone says, she’ll put you above everyone besides maybe your children. if you’re not, then she’ll listen to anything her friends/family say and create a narrative around you. you have plenty of time to build yourself back up and get another home or move somewhere else down the road. focus on making new goals and plans and you’ll think less about the past.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 07:14 PM
11

also take your time before dating, especially seriously. the manipulators know how to work all the right buttons for someone who hasn’t done the work after a divorce. you could end up in a situation just as bad if not worse than the one you left.
/r/Divorce_Men17/09/22 02:39 AM
21

get a second opinion if you haven’t already. also none of us are guaranteed to live until we’re in our 50s. no matter your goal should be what everyone should be doing anyway, maximizing everyday. that’s what you can control.
/r/askMRP15/09/22 03:59 AM
15

you might want to hold off on filing as things are and work on an exit plan instead that could balance things out. ex: cut back on the overtime and see if there’s a way to get her working in the field again. that’s just one example and she might not go for it but as things are you’re looking at paying her a lot of your take home pay to see your kids a lot less than you do now.
/r/Divorce_Men14/09/22 02:57 PM
2

staying won’t make it any cheaper down the road. plus she could file and then you’re scrambling to find a half decent lawyer and a place to stay. start meeting with lawyers and work on your exit plan. you don’t have to right away but you need to be prepared.
/r/Divorce_Men13/09/22 01:57 AM
3

it’s more likely she fakes an attempt than actually does it. in that story everything probably just hit her at once. she won the lottery then threw it all away. she ruined not just her lives but her kids, their futures, and her future grandchildren’s lives. dealing with that plus maybe few bad days on the job and realizing she’ll never get a chance like that again was a bad mix.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 05:04 PM
2

check out the post I linked in my comment to him. it has a sad ending but it’s an all timer.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 03:35 PM
5

that’s the biggest issue seriously dating single moms. they don’t appreciate those things because a lot of them don’t respect the guy that does all that for them. this post sums it up in a sad way but perfectly. it’s pretty obvious who she was more attracted to and respected more before the bio and stepfather.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 03:26 PM
3

it does but at least you’re aware now which puts you ahead of a lot of people in similar situations. now you can plan accordingly.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 04:49 AM
6

look what she’s doing already. it’s definitely going to go that way. she knows how to hurt you and she’ll keep doing it. ironically enough, with people like her, it’s the fathers that don’t want custody who they bother to spend time with their kids. the one who actually want to be around are the ones they play games with.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 04:44 AM
6

look for a lawyer you trust in a war because nothing will come easy. you’re in for the fight of your life. don’t concede anything without getting something back. if you take a drug test like you said, make sure she takes one as well.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 04:40 AM
15

Now she keeps saying that "anyone can buy a house, a car, pay the bills , give her money, and provide." she’ll find out differently soon enough. plenty of people can barely cover their rent. make the divorce official before then.
/r/Divorce_Men11/09/22 04:35 AM
5

if you go your route, make sure whatever she signs is airtight. once the value of the house goes up and she hears you’re doing well/looking to sell, she’ll circle back if there’s any openings.
/r/Divorce_Men10/09/22 07:45 PM
2

we teach people how to treat us. your kids and your ex treat you with absolutely no respect and you give them everything they want. that’s why they view you as an ATM. untangling that won’t be easy and there will be backlash but at least you have your son.
/r/Divorce_Men08/09/22 05:21 AM
9

I'm also wracked with guilt at the thought of leaving her alone to the dating scene. She's controlling, judgmental, wants a life completely different than the one I want it doesn’t sound like she’s carrying around any guilt. do what you want to do. you’ve been married longer than a lot of people using this app have ever been alive. your kids are adults. you’ve more than done your part.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 07:11 PM
1

selling the house is risky. I remember a story where they sold the house and the ex went from no money saved to a war chest and she took full advantage of it to win the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 07:05 PM
4

secured the new relationship before leaving the old one
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 11:46 AM
5

it sucks now but there are positives here: 1) no kids 2) short marriage 3) she monkey branched so you have a shot at her not dragging the divorce out. just remember what to say to her after the divorce is finalized and things with the co-worker doesn’t work out.
/r/Divorce_Men07/09/22 05:30 AM
3

more likely than not, you’ve lived at least half of your life already. is staying on this marriage really how you want to spend your other half?
/r/Divorce_Men05/09/22 04:22 PM
24

yep and it’ll be an absolutely disaster if he stays and has kids with her.
/r/TheRedPill05/09/22 01:26 PM
8

My daughter is also a freshman in college and driving a car I let her use. start with changing that. she doesn’t respect you right now, but she definitely won’t ever respect you if she keeps drives your car while taking shit on your GF.
/r/Divorce_Men04/09/22 05:21 PM
1

the transition can be rough but better times are ahead. an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men02/09/22 07:31 PM
9

STD, DNA tests then book consults with lawyers. don’t make any decisions or promise anything until you get the results from all 3.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 03:56 PM
3

I’ve heard a lot worse than 1500 for spousal and child support combined at your salary. is that because of the day care cost? if yes then you should figure out if that’ll be adjusted once your kid doesn’t need daycare anymore and by potentially how much.
/r/Divorce_Men01/09/22 01:16 PM
6

giving them everything they want just makes them push for more. you needed to establish a hard line early on and let them know you’re willing to go to war or else you see what you get.
/r/Divorce_Men30/08/22 05:52 PM
1

look up the pick me dance and avoiding doing that. if you go to counseling go on your own time with someone you picked out, but an outlet can help just as much if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 01:31 PM
3

not sure how much it matters legally now since 3 years has passed but there’s a good chance that kid isn’t related to you. you dad needs to fight a lawyer willing to fight that has experience in cases like this.
/r/Divorce_Men29/08/22 12:07 PM
2

1) book a consult with a lawyer and DON’T SIGN ANYTHING. she knows exactly how to push your buttons. this may seem harsh but you vs her isn’t a fair fight right now. let your lawyer negotiation for you. 2) look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube so you can see what to avoid doing next time. there’s a lot of mistakes in this post. going through this book can help you avoid making them in the future. 3) an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already …
/r/Divorce_Men28/08/22 11:31 AM
2

say you’re staying in the apartment and then do whatever will annoy her the most if she tried to stay as well.
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 12:36 PM
2

I currently pay $10k/mo in court ordered temporary support + $4700/mo for the mortgage. I asked all this to the attorney too, but haven't heard back from them. if I was making the money you are, I’d get a lawyer that either answers me right away or works with someone who will. if they aren’t then they better be either head and shoulders better than other lawyers in that area or know the judges well. one story I read said selling the home was a mistake. it gave his ex a war chest to use against h…
/r/Divorce_Men27/08/22 11:05 AM
1

could end up in a scenario where he pays for the house he can’t enter while she brings and does whoever and whatever she wants.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 09:28 PM
29

you’re lucky you only got out with a story.
/r/TheRedPill26/08/22 07:55 PM
5

an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. also no matter what she says don’t move out.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 05:23 PM
1

giving in to this would set the tone for the rest of your “co-parenting” relationship and you wouldn’t like the outcome.
/r/Divorce_Men26/08/22 11:43 AM
7

is it the same judge every time? book a consult with another lawyer until you find one that either knows that judge or judges in your area or at least has experience with this and has a solution.
/r/Divorce_Men25/08/22 04:38 PM
40

how good have these friends been to you? I wouldn’t try to set up a friend of mine with her at all, let alone be persistent about it.
/r/TheRedPill25/08/22 01:22 PM
8

And this my friends, is how you become a "deadbeat dad". When my kids are with me, I shower them with my love and attention. We camp out, eat popcorn, watch movies, and do all the good stuff.. Nothing so far has ruined our relationship. after watching videos, reading stories and thinking about it, I think this might be the best way if you have an uncooperative ex. if you have an ex that lets you see your kids when you want or 50/50 without drama that’d be great. but if everything is a court batt…
/r/Divorce_Men24/08/22 07:48 PM
3

She said she needs until about February to move out. She starts her job next week. her getting a job is good but needing until February to move out is odd. book a consult with a lawyer to make sure she’s not trying to run out the clock for the divorce. in California the magic number is 10 years until you’re on the hook for permanent alimony.
/r/askMRP24/08/22 02:51 PM
3

NEVER even mention the word divorce unless you have a lawyer on speed dial and your affairs in order. otherwise you see what you get.
/r/askMRP23/08/22 11:43 PM
7

you’re barely making enough to survive on your own. either stay with your parents or get a roommate and don’t even think about seriously dating let alone marriage until you can afford to live by yourself.
/r/askMRP23/08/22 10:04 PM
1

this was the most important but easiest part. now you have to figure out how much custody you want and are you willing to fight to get it. some people fight hard for 50/50 or majority. others are fine with partial and just make the most of the time they do get with their kids. if you’re someone your kids look up to and respect this could work. others just send the check and barely keep contact. if you don’t know which route you want to go yet, take some time and figure it out. then you can use t…
/r/Divorce_Men23/08/22 07:01 PM
33

your greatest hits are long gone. she cheated and ran a smear campaign on you. even if she changed her mind and wanted to come back, your reputation with her family and friends is shot. go through with the divorce. the pain you’re feeling now is nothing compared to what would happen if you stayed and had a kid with her.
/r/Divorce_Men22/08/22 02:59 AM
1

book a trip or vacation somewhere and have some fun. you have the perfect icebreaker.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 04:41 PM
3

hopefully you’re not asking to get the divorce done so you could marry your GF. talk to a lawyer to see what you’re on the hook for if you stay married. it sounds like you’re fine but you want to make sure. also if something happens to you, do you have a will set up? even if you don’t get a divorce, you need to have your affairs in order if they aren’t already.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 12:33 PM
4

and this is why people say in this sub and others get a lawyer. you literally handed her everything and then gave her 1k a month on top of that. you could maybe challenge the 1k but there’s a real chance you lose and could be on the hook for paying more. talk to a few lawyers this time and weight your options.
/r/Divorce_Men20/08/22 01:22 AM
5

look for a lawyer that has experience with cases like yours and pick someone that will slap you if you ever think about getting married again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/08/22 04:51 AM
1

does either have of them have experience with false accusations and how did those cases turn out? find the answers to those and your decision gets easier.
/r/Divorce_Men18/08/22 03:31 PM
15

there’s no law that says you have to move out. pick an area of the house/apartment and make it your fortress. unless you don’t have an established place right now, moving out is arguably the single biggest mistakes guys make during a divorce. there’s a very real scenario where you’d be paying for a place you don’t live in, while the new guy(s) see your kids more than you do.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 12:27 AM
38

you’re not the only one whose been thinking of a divorce. if you hit her back, she would’ve told every single person you knew and used it to hammer you in the divorce. you no longer have a wife. you have an enemy you have to co-parent with. act accordingly, get a lawyer, and work on your exit plan.
/r/Divorce_Men16/08/22 12:19 AM
8

her working full time is good. but like they said, get a lawyer and take steps to protect your time with your daughter ASAP. her playbook was to take control of the martial home and have you be the person who sees your kid the least (compared to her family, new bf) while paying for it. now you interrupted that and this could be the calm before the storm.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 04:00 PM
12

your wife thinks the grass is greener. give her the chance to see if that’s true. you’ve been married longer than a lot of people have been alive. you have kids, you have grandkids, it’s time to put yourself first now and enjoy the rest of your life on your terms. go do everything you put off and have some fun.
/r/Divorce_Men15/08/22 12:31 PM
2

you can learn how to cook again by reading articles, watching videos on YouTube, or signing up for a class. this is the best time to get a divorce while she’s making good money. plus you don’t have kids. you’ll be fine in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 11:24 AM
2

“Everyone is your enemy. Everyone is your friend. Every possible series of events is happening at once. Live that way and nothing will surprise you. Everything that happens will be something you’ve seen before." remember that going forward and you won’t get blindsided like this again. also an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the train…
/r/Divorce_Men14/08/22 11:21 AM
5

she’s going to keep testing to see if this is real or not. and believe it or not she actually wants you to pass. you have to learn how to calibrate and STFU.
/r/askMRP11/08/22 08:28 PM
2

book a consult with a lawyer to see if there’s any wiggle in room but chances you’d just end up losing more money fighting this and won’t win. you might end up even paying more somehow.
/r/Divorce_Men11/08/22 03:44 PM
11

why do you want to handle this? you’re 23 and you’re not even in the same location right now.
/r/askMRP11/08/22 01:50 PM
9

look up and stick to grey rock if you talk to her at all. you can’t control her actions but you can control your reactions. also if she won’t give the keys back change the locks or ask your landlord if they can.
/r/Divorce_Men09/08/22 02:49 PM
2

She told me prior to the weekend that her sister in law was coming down to hang out. Then said she wasn’t so I planned something for Saturday. It was a all day thing and I had 3 reservations. Later that Friday she said her SIL was now coming and she couldn’t hang Saturday but she will be gone by Sunday so we can hang out Sunday. “I made other plans”. the end. there’s no way you should allow anyone to jerk you around like she did afterwards. you avoid that by not accepting her conciliation offer.
/r/askMRP08/08/22 11:21 PM
5

look up and stick to grey rock. your marriage is over unless her monkey branch (look it up) breaks. then she might hang around until she gets another one. it’s not worth it and your kids are old enough anyway where leaving wouldn’t be the end of the world. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube so you can see what to avoid doing next time.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 09:17 PM
1

first you need to prepare. book a consult with a lawyer to figure out how a divorce would cost you now, and how much it could cost if you wait. then you have to figure out how far are you willing to go? an issue a lot of people have is they aren’t truly willing to leave, which makes it hard to shake the status quo. are you willing to leave if your wife doesn’t get help? if yes then let your wife know but have a lawyer you’d feel good about beforehand since things could escalate quickly.
/r/Divorce_Men08/08/22 02:10 AM
1

unless they have a bad relationship it couldn’t hurt. that depends on where you live. some small places have one maybe two people who know everyone. others a big firm in a larger city could help since there’s a better chance they have the right connections. either way your wife clearly isn’t going to go away quietly. unless you have complete faith in your lawyer now, exploring other options is worth looking into.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/22 05:14 AM
3

book consults with other lawyers to make sure yours is the best option you have. maybe you can find one that knows the judges well where you live.
/r/Divorce_Men07/08/22 03:37 AM
2

Condom broke and she got pregnant. Maybe it was hormones (probably) but we were all over each other, ‘loved each other more than anyone before’ and said screw it let’s get married. The past is the past. It was dumb but we did it and I own that. jfc. And yes, paternity test was done. maybe there’s hope for you yet. reread your post. most of is it reacting to what she does. work on mastering STFU and walking away to do something else.
/r/askMRP05/08/22 11:39 AM
11

leave. maybe if you didn’t live in a state with permanent alimony you could try and work on it, but it isn’t worth the risk. you could end up in a situation where she shacks up with some guy, never marries him, and they both don’t work and just live off your checks every month.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 01:28 PM
1

tell your kids the full story before filing then go from there.
/r/Divorce_Men03/08/22 12:25 PM
11

get DNA, STD tests, book a consult with a lawyer before you say or do anything else. also focus on what’s best for you and getting as much custody of your kids as you can. who cares how a divorce will impact her? she’s STILL cheating on you. get it together before you get a silver bullet divorce (look it up).
/r/askMRP02/08/22 03:15 AM
1

look at it like this... if you don’t fight, the only major influence your kids could have are your ex and her family until who knows when.
/r/Divorce_Men01/08/22 03:08 AM
2

an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. in a comment you talked about closure. it’s a myth and in this case it doesn’t matter. right now she’s your enemy and she wouldn’t lose a minutes sleep if you rolled …
/r/Divorce_Men31/07/22 11:41 PM
10

does she deserve to have a boat named after her?
/r/askMRP31/07/22 12:33 PM
2

book a consult with a lawyer and work on an exit plan. if they have experience with marriages like yours that’s a plus. her working is good but she could go after your pension, rental property and savings. you should be able to get 50/50 if not primary so you might end up paying yourself after assets are split.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 02:19 PM
6

I am at the point of giving those friends and family a size 10 right out of my life. wouldn’t blame you if you did. at the very least I’d tell them nothing about my personal life.
/r/Divorce_Men29/07/22 05:08 AM
7

chalk it up to the game, don’t get married again, and you’ll be fine especially in the long run.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 09:03 PM
12

kids are very impressible and can be easily manipulated especially if your ex was the one that was the primary parent. outside of sending a message along the lines of you’ll be there if they ever need help, no matter the situation, there’s not much you can do. some people go the send gifts, texts and letters route. others just send the check, go on with their lives, and hope one day the veil gets lifted. it’s up to you whether you do one of those two or a mix of them.
/r/Divorce_Men28/07/22 03:50 PM
7

when the disrespect goes up, sex life goes down or completely dies, it’s a matter of time before cheating or a lawyer (could be both) happens. it’s better to be prepared than rushing to get someone while she’s trying to toss you on the street.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 06:44 PM
4

She is very entitled and very negative about anything in my life. She hates that I enjoy any successes. I feel that she is very competitive with me. She is controlling and jealous but she hates if I do it to her. vs I have been talking to someone else and she is completely different. Good looking but not head turning. She has very good family values and is very easy going.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 06:39 PM
1

and which paragraph sounds more toxic?
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 06:31 PM
2

We have broken it off to many times to count but we end up back together again and we can't seem to resolve anything at all. She is very entitled and very negative about anything in my life. She hates that I enjoy any successes. I feel that she is very competitive with me. She is controlling and jealous but she hates if I do it to her. I want to have kids and create a family but I don't want to end being a part time dad. I have been talking to someone else and she is completely different. Good l…
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 06:28 PM
1

chances are they won’t be one big happy family in the long haul. that’s not on your control though. what you can control is what you do while they’re on vacation. whatever it is you thought about doing, or plans you put off, you can do while they’re on vacation. look at it as an opportunity instead of something to dread.
/r/Divorce_Men27/07/22 05:23 PM
6

you’re getting out without any kids and relatively early on...get a lawyer and make a call. do you want to fight and spend to maybe save or pay half (and make sure it legally sticks) to move on quickly?
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 10:30 PM
2

then this is the best chance your have to take steps to protect yourself and your kids. book consults with lawyers ASAP and have a list of questions beforehand. also you want someone you trust to go war with if needed.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 02:09 PM
1

rates on second marriages aren’t great. rates on third marriages are even worse, don’t go down this path again. also are your kids in Europe or in Utah? if you get a chance I’d ask my lawyer what steps if any could you take to stop her from taking to kids back to the states for now.
/r/Divorce_Men25/07/22 01:18 PM
12

she’s projecting (he definitely needs to DNA and STD tests) and has absolutely no respect for him.
/r/AntiFeminists23/07/22 09:04 PM
3

My lawyer is extremely busy and hard to reach and I hate how my ex is the one setting the rules right now. book consults with other lawyers. you don’t trust this one and you can’t even get a hold of him.
/r/Divorce_Men23/07/22 06:50 AM
1

is there somewhere or anyone you can go with on weekends to get away?
/r/Divorce_Men22/07/22 08:47 PM
6

don’t get married again and you’ll be back finically in no time.
/r/Divorce_Men21/07/22 01:19 AM
5

stop doing favors without reciprocation, and book a consult with a lawyer. also look up the pick up dance and avoid that. look up and considering sticking to grey rock as well.
/r/Divorce_Men20/07/22 12:53 PM
6

she turns a blind eye and you have no problems at home, don’t look to create a problem when there isn’t any. plus I’m getting then vibes you’d end up wanting her back if you broke up anyway. better to skip that part and just carry on.
/r/askMRP20/07/22 12:15 PM
73

take the gift of an amicable divorce before her boyfriend breaks up with her.
/r/askMRP19/07/22 05:46 PM
6

you definitely want a lawyer to give yourself the best shot at a fair split. if you can push a fast divorce through and you like the terms, go for it. look up and stick to grey rock in the meantime. an outlet can help a lot if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then…
/r/Divorce_Men19/07/22 12:09 AM
1

start with DNA and STD tests. you have a dead bedroom and you cheated, it wouldn’t take much for her to have a revenge affair. make sure you’re clean and the kid is yours before committing to anything.
/r/Divorce_Men18/07/22 03:35 PM
2

you can help her as a friend. if things went a little differently, you couldn’t make this post because you’d be sitting in a cell or worse right now. what if she shouts for help when you’re out in public and some white knights gang up on you?
/r/MensRights18/07/22 12:42 AM
8

I am pretty mad at myself to for not deliberately telling her. And I don’t want to lose her. She is the best woman I have ever met. Any advice from people who have been in a similar situation? It would mean a lot to me. maybe there was a point she was the best woman you ever met, but right now, she’s trying to figure out how to get her hands on your inheritance. and if you’re more worried about keeping her than protecting it, you’ll end up losing both of them anyway.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 01:53 PM
7

one positive from all this is you get to choose. you get to pick which route you go and no one can tell you otherwise. there’s no rush. take your time, keep your eyes open and do what you feel like doing. just avoid having an oops baby”, or saying I do.
/r/Divorce_Men17/07/22 08:56 AM
3

the longer you stay, the more you’ll pay. look for a lawyer that has experience in long marriages like yours with kids and work on a game plan.
/r/Divorce_Men16/07/22 03:08 AM
3

We told the judge about what the prosecutor had said, but he just shrugged and said the prosecutor has wide discretion when it comes to deciding who should be prosecuted. sadly that doesn’t shock me. there’s a reason the prosecutor said that so boldly.
/r/MensRights15/07/22 02:42 PM
16

remember, you can be with someone without having to marry them. the rates on second marriages are terrible.
/r/Divorce_Men15/07/22 05:11 AM
3

Government employee but only been at my job for 3ish years. I was in the military for 10+ years and ironically instead of buying that time back for retirement my wife used the money to buy breast implants (super stupid idea I know because it led right into the affair). yes that was stupid but she was going to cheat anyway (probably already was), the surgery just gave her better prospects after the divorce. book a consult with a lawyer and tell them everything you said in this post and work out a…
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 04:32 PM
1

DNA, STD tests and book a consult with a lawyer. ask them specifically about steps you can take to stop her from taking off and help with an exit plan.
/r/Divorce_Men09/07/22 02:56 PM
4

push the divorce through to make that official before she changes her mind.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 03:42 PM
5

look for lawyers that do free consults ASAP. like others said she’s ahead of you in the process and it’ll only get worse.
/r/Divorce_Men08/07/22 12:49 AM
1

what you want to do. talk to a local lawyer, marriage probably isn’t the only option. and if it is, you don’t have to marry your ex.
/r/newTRP07/07/22 04:10 PM
3

how long would it take until you can pull your money out? if you don’t know the answer, find someone who can tell you. then either wait for that day and bolt back to the states or if you can’t wait that long do it sooner. then in the future, do a better job of keeping your money separate from hers.
/r/askMRP07/07/22 03:27 PM
17

besides yourself obviously, the only person it needs to be okay with is your husband.
/r/RedPillWomen06/07/22 07:07 PM
5

because people get comfortable once they get married and have kids and aren’t scared of their partner leaving them. then they boiling frog them until they accept something they would’ve laughed at early in the relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men05/07/22 11:27 PM
9

of course it got removed in two subs.
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 02:10 PM
7

look at it this way, the next house you get you can get it exactly how you want and you’ll never risk losing it (unless you cohabit again).
/r/Divorce_Men04/07/22 02:13 AM
2

that goes for too many guys sadly. if you see a time he might be open to it, try getting him No More Mr. Nice Guy or sending him the audio link on YouTube. that way he at least has some knowledge of what to avoid.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/22 09:45 PM
3

happy it worked out for him but this is far from the norm. hopefully he learned his lesson about marriage here.
/r/Divorce_Men02/07/22 03:15 PM
9

get him No More Mr. Nice Guy or send him the link for the audiobook on YouTube. he’s going crazy for obvious reasons but getting some answers could help send him down a different path. the one he’s on now ends him in a ditch or spending permanent time behind bars.
/r/TheRedPill01/07/22 11:17 PM
13

don’t mention the words separate or divorce again until you have a lawyer you’re confident in and plans for different scenarios.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 07:34 AM
0

get DNA and STD tests. also reach out to friends you lost touch with and pick an outlet you can focus on if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men30/06/22 04:08 AM
1

no problem. happy it helped you
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 04:21 PM
2

good advice given already. another thing you can try is an outlet if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men29/06/22 06:49 AM
2

doing everything for someone and acting like they’re way above you like that is a double edged sword. they don’t appreciate what you do for them, expect you to keep doing that and more, while not respecting you since you give them everything no matter that they do. luckily you got out with no kids. block her and move on.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 07:11 PM
3

nice to hear some positive news. I’d still ignore or tell them to get bent if they try to reach out again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 04:29 PM
14

don’t expect closure. people rarely get it. focus more on what you want the rest of your life to look like and write out a plan to make it happen. having an outlet to keep your head clear can help as well (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men28/06/22 12:55 PM
3

sounds like a plan. when you talk to lawyers focus in on her inheritance and see what kind of answers they give you.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 03:57 PM
2

depends on where you live and how you want to play it. is there any chance you could get her inheritance? not to actually get it, more to say I’ll leave your inheritance alone in lieu or alimony or something like that. book consults with lawyers and figure out if your priority is a quick divorce where you pay to make her go away or drag it out/be willing to fight if needed to potentially save money.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 03:28 PM
1

she’s finically cheating on you, possibly physically cheating on you, and is only in save mode now so she can smooth things over before doing the same thing again. I wouldn’t even consider staying without a post-nup. book a consult with a lawyer and ask about a post-nup and if they hold up where you live. if she’s not open to that, then move forward with the divorce.
/r/Divorce_Men27/06/22 03:48 AM
2

done meaning you know the results already or you’re waiting?
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 04:24 AM
4

make sure you get DNA and STD tests to be safe. better to find out now than after a random 23andme kit years down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men26/06/22 04:03 AM
82

The brutal crime sent shockwaves through the quiet Florida beach town with Bridegan's friends and family expressing profound shock that anyone should have targeted the man whom, they say, had no enemies. oh he had one.
/r/MensRights23/06/22 07:45 PM
9

get those kids some ice cream ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 11:54 AM
1

well said. it’s a mixture of frustration and sadness reading some of these posts and guys not realizing how much value they really have.
/r/Divorce_Men23/06/22 01:16 AM
14

let me get this straight, you’re working over 80 hours a week, cooking, cleaning, making dinner, while being an involved father and you’re begging her to stay??? there’s countless posts of people begging for a partner even a quarter of a catch you are. look into getting No More Mr. Guy Nice or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. a lot of things will start to click.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 04:09 PM
4

text for logistics. you’re doing too much.
/r/TheRedPill22/06/22 01:39 PM
7

don’t go for a third time and everything will only go up from here.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 05:48 AM
6

she’s no longer your wife. legally, she still is, but right now she’s your enemy. prepare and act accordingly and do what’s in the best interest for you and your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 02:57 AM
26

most likely this isn’t the first time she cheated, this is the first time you caught her. it’s time to leave. she cheated with your “best friend” of all people and doesn’t feel any remorse. start with DNA, STD tests, and book a consult with a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men22/06/22 02:50 AM
1

if you don’t want to change high schools then you can stay with your mom to finish high school then visit your dad after. explain you’re staying because you don’t want to change high schools this late not because you’re choosing her over him. if you do want to change high schools then you have some research to do before making a decision.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 01:30 PM
3

yep the sooner you get both done the better. the longer people wait the harder it is to make moves morally and legally. it sounds like you’re prepared either way though which is good. the decisions made around this time go a long way on how the next phase of you and your kids life turn out.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 06:33 AM
3

get DNA and STD tests to be safe if you haven’t already. she could’ve been monkey branching longer than you know.
/r/Divorce_Men21/06/22 06:24 AM
4

book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) and ask what’s the best path forward for you and your son. nothing else matters.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 03:35 PM
2

the “emotional affair” is enough to leave over. if you’re in a relationship let alone marriage with who does something like this that could end the relationship, you’re wasting your time. it’s like those posts where an open relationship/marriage gets brought up. the fact they’re okay with someone else being with you says all you need to know about how they feel about you. leaving now is just fixing the mistake you made years ago by not leaving on the spot.
/r/Divorce_Men20/06/22 01:50 PM
6

how old do you have to be to choose where you want to live? depending on where you are, you could leave sooner than 4 years, especially if you have contact with your dad and he’s opening to you living with him.
/r/MensRights20/06/22 03:23 AM
3

there was literally just a story of a guy who met a girl at her house and her ex came and shot him. the ex is in jail. the new guy is dead. and she’s free to do whatever she wants or whoever she wants. don’t go.
/r/newTRP19/06/22 07:19 PM
4

you’re making enough money where I wouldn’t even live with someone at my main house. just rent an apartment together or get a cheaper house you can protect but wouldn’t kill you if things go south again (or just don’t live with someone again).
/r/Divorce_Men19/06/22 12:18 PM
6

if it isn’t you, your kid, someone whose earned your trust, or your purpose, it doesn’t matter. you don’t want to go? then don’t. you can’t trust your mom not to blab to your ex anyway. I wouldn’t drive two hours for that. they can meet you halfway and do something as a family or come visit you.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 03:22 PM
1

lease or get a used car you can use for a little at a price that wouldn’t hurt you if it kicks the bucket.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 03:15 PM
11

he needs to see a therapist badly.
/r/RedPillWomen18/06/22 06:09 AM
11

be ready to move legally if things get dangerous for your kids. outside of that...not your problem.
/r/Divorce_Men18/06/22 04:10 AM
8

you figured out the answer at the end and your GF is the one trying to steer you in the right direction. get out of your own way and do the work.
/r/askMRP17/06/22 11:19 AM
2

did you get a DNA test?
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 01:45 PM
1

so the kid might not be biologically yours and you could have a STD.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 01:43 PM
1

right now it’s in your face that she’s done with the marriage but that doesn’t mean she didn’t step out before.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 01:41 PM
2

look up monkey branching. if she hasn’t cheated on you already, she’s lining up the next guy. start with DNA, STD tests, and talk to a lawyer to start working on a exit plan. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube as well.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 12:53 PM
7

it’s more surprising if they don’t try to come back these days. shutting it down was the right call.
/r/Divorce_Men16/06/22 06:47 AM
1

you already committed to talking to her grandpa so go but be ready to leave if the conservation becomes unproductive (it most likely will quickly). then be prepared to go leave the relationship if needed since your GF will probably get a battery in her back from her family. and don’t under any circumstances chance your stance on marriage and adoption, especially after getting browbeaten by her family.
/r/askMRP15/06/22 07:59 PM
3

yeah that’s most likely going to cost you. find a lawyer you can talk to this week/month and start working on a game plan.
/r/Divorce_Men15/06/22 04:31 PM
3

do what you want to do. you want to hang out with friends? do that. you want to be alone until your trip? do that. you don’t want to reach out to your mom? don’t. you could also lean on an outlet if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over ag…
/r/Divorce_Men14/06/22 03:18 PM
5

if you do you only have one chance to get it right and you can’t go back. take your time, do your research, weigh out the pros and cons and make a call.
/r/MensRights14/06/22 02:54 PM
22

and that’s why some guys move countries after getting fleeced like this.
/r/MensRights14/06/22 02:41 PM
11

some people can mess around with their ex and not catch feelings. in the state you’re in right now though, that wouldn’t be a good idea.
/r/Divorce_Men12/06/22 05:58 AM
3

you have your kids, your health, and you’re free from a cheater who gaslit your so she could keep cheating. things will only get better from here.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 01:53 PM
1

if you’re thinking of staying with her you still have a lot of work to do.
/r/newTRP11/06/22 12:24 PM
2

book a consult with a lawyer and ask them. there’s no way I’d give up both dogs. another way you can go is if you get the dog you paid for, she gets the dog she pays for and you move on. If she tries to keep both you get a lawyer and try to get both. I’d talk to a lawyer first and maybe change the wording around so it can’t bite you later but let it be known this is a hill you’re willing to die on.
/r/Divorce_Men11/06/22 12:08 PM
3

so you made one call then stopped? that’s not the only lawyer available unless you live in a really small town. make some other calls. even if you go meditation or don’t hire that lawyer, they can help you figure out a baseline and look over any documents before you sign them.
/r/Divorce_Men10/06/22 04:31 PM
10

Everytime my wife tried to redirect conversation back to my perceived shortcomings, I responded I loved her and my family and wanted to make things better no matter how much work was needed. My wife ended up looking like the cheap cheater that she is. She cheated the whole family and they all know it right from the horses mouth. The night ended with "We love you dad" and silent treatment for my wife. They said they will live with me. They went to bat for me 100% “never interrupt your enemy when …
/r/Divorce_Men08/06/22 03:42 AM
12

if you’re not ready to go at any time you’re doing it wrong. getting into a stupid argument is also doing it wrong.
/r/askMRP07/06/22 02:59 PM
2

it should be pretty simple since it was a short marriage. book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) and dive into what the points on contention would be. then you can try meditation if it’s simple, and if it’s not, then you’d have a lawyer you can go back to.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 11:25 PM
4

don’t offer a thing until you get STD, DNA tests and talk to a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men06/06/22 10:28 PM
1

it’s all about being honest to whoever you deal with and yourself. be honest to yourself and figure out what you want. then find someone who wants the same thing, don’t budge on that, and be honest to them. also keep your eyes open and be ready to bail if things get complicated or doesn’t feel right.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 01:06 PM
2

there isn’t much you can do besides be there for him. don’t judge him or try to lecture him about how outdated the laws are. if you see a chance to ask a question that might open his eyes you could consider taking it, but focus on keeping the line of communication open. at some point things will probably not go well and he’ll need someone to turn to. it’s better he turns to who can actually help him than someone who will give him terrible advice.
/r/Divorce_Men05/06/22 12:42 PM
4

those two I’d reach out too from time to time to talk and see if you could meet up. the rest I wouldn’t bother with unless they reach out and then you can decide. the gym is a good start but a club is better since you’ll probably run into other people going through similar things and it’ll give you some structure.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 06:21 PM
18

they weren’t really your friends then. I couldn’t imagine not reaching out to someone I actually care about while they were going through and after a divorce. joining a fighting club could help you a lot. tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men04/06/22 05:56 PM
4

I don’t know if dating is the best idea while you’re going through this but if you do you can go to their place, or get a hotel.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 04:05 PM
4

in a divorce you either fight for the home, sell it, or one of you buys the other out. you don’t have to leave.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 03:21 PM
3

why do you have to leave?
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 03:12 PM
5

the differences between living with someone in a non-common law state, kids or no kids vs. being married and then earning the majority of your money is insane. one scenario you can give notice, maybe owe some appreciation if you didn’t make her sign anything on the house (more if you bought it together or put her name on the deed) but no alimony and your assets stay 100% yours. the other you’re paying alimony, possibly getting kicked out your home, losing at least half the value while playing al…
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 03:06 PM
9

divorce is fine but don’t leave your home. that’s how you get hit with abandonment and screwed in the divorce while another man enjoys your home, your ex, and sees your kids more than you do. pick a room in that million dollar house and make it your fortress. lock it at all times, book a consult with a lawyer and ask what steps you can take to protect yourself while your work on your exit plan.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 02:56 PM
3

your marriage has been done a while. one positive is you didn’t have that kid. the biggest issue will be who gets the dog vs CS and custody splits.
/r/Divorce_Men02/06/22 04:55 AM
8

the advice I usually give people when it comes to kids is make the most of the time you do have with them and be the rock they can turn and possibly look up to. it gets tricky if they start being really disrespectful and not talking to you at all. looks like things are on the up for you though. if they ask you any direct questions about their mom and you feel they’re old enough, don’t lie. kids will forgive a lot, but lying can cause permanent damage.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 09:54 PM
4

I didn't have many flying monkey's reach out to me.....but my close friends and family were well aware of her cheating on me multiple times even while she was pregnant with our first child. I hope you cut them all off.
/r/Divorce_Men01/06/22 06:56 PM
2

being able to stay at home is a opportunity that less and less people will have. enjoy it.
/r/RedPillWomen01/06/22 02:55 AM
6

the next relationship you’re in after a divorce could end up being way worse than the one you just got out of. take your time.
/r/Divorce_Men30/05/22 06:55 PM
15

nice progress. she’s still trying to gaslight you so look up and stick to grey rock.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 06:55 PM
17

this’ll sound a little harsh but your (ex hopefully) wife has no respect for you. she’s only making that offer because she thinks you’ll actually say yes. “a good place to move on” means hang around while she monkey branches and maybe if the stars align, she’ll give you another shot (until another option pops up). your main focus now should be getting a divorce done as quickly as possible. figure out how you need to play it to make that happen.
/r/Divorce_Men28/05/22 02:05 PM
1

having an outlet will make it a lot easier. hate can only carry you so far. go to any fighting club (boxing, MMA, etc) and tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. chances are you’ll run into people going through the same thing themselves or they know someone.
/r/Divorce_Men27/05/22 09:18 PM
6

good to hear. once the divorce becomes combative (like most do) there’s no reason to try and earn brownie points by being nice. figure out the lines in the sand like you have and suit up.
/r/Divorce_Men26/05/22 02:23 AM
21

you said you get hypergamy but if you did, this would be pretty simple. you were at a low point. she didn’t think you were worth waiting around to bounce back, had a better option, or both. it doesn’t matter if she acted like nothing happened or she promised you the world if you took her back. she showed you what she’ll do if you hit a low point. spending any time thinking about or taking to her is a waste of time.
/r/askMRP25/05/22 02:21 PM
3

accept her decision and move forward with the divorce. you can’t change the past or another persons mind. keep doing the work and embrace what happens. she sounds like she’s done but one way to really kill any chance is by begging.
/r/Divorce_Men25/05/22 01:55 AM
25

when someone is done with the relationship, they’ll find ways to make you the bad guy and reasons to justify leaving. when someone respects who they’re with, they’ll stay long past the expiration date unless they do something unforgivable. don’t waste too much time on what if’s, just be happy she’s not your problem anymore.
/r/Divorce_Men21/05/22 11:41 PM
13

drunk make up sex happened one night, which caused this “surprise”.. my spouse has infertility issues, so it was completely off guard she could’ve already known she was pregnant or used this as a Hail Mary. like others said, get a DNA test and a STD one as well.
/r/Divorce_Men19/05/22 08:54 PM
5

everyone needs an outlet. if you don’t have one already you can try going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn. if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. and like others said, some time away from dating isn’t a bad idea either.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 11:03 AM
2

your lawyer sucks and they’re looking for a way to get out. I’d at the very least book consults with other ones to see if there’s better options.
/r/Divorce_Men17/05/22 01:22 AM
14

you don’t have a plan. book consults with different lawyers, pick one you like, and start working on your exit plan. then it becomes a process with steps instead of an uncharted mountain.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 09:46 PM
5

more words would help but I glanced at your other post. get DNA, STD tests and book a consult with a lawyer if you haven’t already. you need one you can hire and at least a baseline understanding of what you’re in for.
/r/Divorce_Men16/05/22 06:52 PM
2

forgive to help yourself. walking around with hatred isn’t going to help you or your kid. but that doesn’t mean you have to be best friends with her. having an outlet to keep your head clear can help if you don’t have one already (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn) can help as well. if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a…
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/22 04:16 PM
5

get a dog.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/22 05:05 AM
4

how you interact with her during the divorce will set the tone for post-divorce. it’s up to you if you want to keep being so generous.
/r/Divorce_Men15/05/22 02:27 AM
5

and the major difference would be it’s the same thing you can do while you’re single. there’d be no reason to go back and delay the inevitable. that’s how you end up in a Will/Jada marriage.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 06:40 PM
18

trial separations are almost always a waste of time anyway. you know exactly what she’d be doing if you did one and you know the only reason she would come back.
/r/Divorce_Men14/05/22 05:47 PM
1

her friends and family would be enough to not date seriously or at all, the rest is icing on the cake.
/r/Divorce_Men13/05/22 12:26 PM
2

some people’s logic is they stay so they can protect their kids since they’ll be around 100% of the time. the main point is I don’t buy what she’s selling. if that was her logic, the kids are out of the house. if he’s as bad as she said he is she should’ve left when the kids did.
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 01:34 PM
7

he’s so terrible but she stayed for 4 decades (I can understand staying for the kids but they’re way past grown) and divorced right when he’s about to retire...
/r/Divorce_Men10/05/22 12:12 PM
3

if it was that easy, they wouldn’t let things get that far in the first place. if you try to tell them what to do, they’ll do the opposite. they have to get their on their own. the best thing you can do is ask questions that plant seeds and help them keep their eyes open if you get a chance in the conversation. then when they have a moment where they might be open to hearing the truth down the road, be there with a beer and no judgment.
/r/Divorce_Men09/05/22 08:09 PM
9

set a date she has to move out by. her living with you is terrible for your mental state. here’s another two things that could help: go to any fighting club (boxing, MMA, etc) and tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. it can help you see what to avoid doing when you are ready to date again. the next relationship afte…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 01:56 PM
29

I’ll leave the duties part to someone else but for a mindset shift try taking a shower when you get home and say when I get out the shower I’ll be more (insert word).
/r/RedPillWomen07/05/22 12:08 PM
9

guy started dating a single mom that came in for a job interview. he kept getting promoted, married her, and provided a stress free life for her and her kid. they tried having kids and that wasn’t working even with IVF for a while. it did work eventually but they lost the kid. he then finds out that kid wasn’t even his. she’s been cheating on him for years then ran off with an AP and put him through the cleaners. the stepdaughter doesn’t even talk to him. he ended up losing his job and thought a…
/r/Divorce_Men07/05/22 11:45 AM
3

never willingly move out. there’s guys who have and they ended up paying to not live there while another guy sees their kid more than they do.
/r/askMRP05/05/22 08:14 PM
6

you need an outlet badly if you don’t have one already before you implode (going to the gym, picking up a hobby, joining a fighting club or class for something you want to learn). if you go with the fighting club, tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again.
/r/Divorce_Men05/05/22 02:59 AM
1

her cheating three times is a conservative number. I hope your friend got a DNA test.
/r/TheRedPill04/05/22 08:23 PM
4

look up lawyers in AZ and WA and schedule consults in both states. listen to what they have to say, write out everything then make a call. also don’t say a word to her about the affair or a divorce. your goal should be getting a quick and somewhat fair divorce. amicable is a nice goal to have, but it tends to go off the rails fast. put yourself first and do what’s best for you.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 04:44 PM
2

you could take your order to lawyer to make sure it’ll really end in 3 years and there’s no wiggle room for her to extend things. but when it comes to modifying it’s probably best to leave it alone. you could easily spend a better part of a year in court before you even have a chance to lower anything. and it’s not impossible you could end up paying MORE plus lawyer fees.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 02:56 PM
3

how much longer do you have to pay? there’s a good chance what it’ll cost in lawyers, and the venom you’ll get from her plus how she’ll try to make you the bad guy to your kids and anyone that’ll listen would make the whole thing a Pyrrhic victory. the best time to set the tone for post-divorce life is before everything is signed.
/r/Divorce_Men03/05/22 01:47 PM
6

play along until the divorce is official then do whatever you want.
/r/askMRP03/05/22 04:44 AM
9

the sad part is having one parent stay home is best for the kids but it puts the breadwinner in a position to get screwed at any time. they get less money if they get a job or don’t have full custody. and that’s why the marriage rates will continue to fall.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 01:18 PM
2

once she cheats, any relationship is over. it’s a lose/lose when you take her back as you’re experiencing now.
/r/Divorce_Men28/04/22 01:29 AM
6

the safest way is to live with anyone besides your kid. it’s great you won in court but as you said in another comment, a few more years and a different judge and this would’ve been a completely different post.
/r/Divorce_Men26/04/22 06:36 PM
3

sounds like you’re set up great for the next part of your life. the most important thing now besides your kid is not to rush into anything if you do ever seriously date again. there’s plenty of horror step parent stories.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 05:09 PM
6

other comments already covered why but reciprocate the same energy they’re giving out. don’t reach out and fill your time with new people/other things. then if they do reach out, you can decide if you want to talk to them or not.
/r/Divorce_Men25/04/22 06:57 AM
12

imagine rather wanting to save money you could use on a cleaner on a lawyer instead. a cleaner somehow isn’t cheaper than a divorce and two separate homes...
/r/Divorce_Men24/04/22 11:41 PM
5

you listen to whatever your lawyer says to do. when your enemy (yes in a divorce they’re your enemy) is making a mistake, let them.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 12:27 PM
3

she’s trying to do what’s best for her, now you have to do what’s best for you AND your kids by listening to the other comments and talk to a lawyer.
/r/Divorce_Men21/04/22 12:18 PM
3

the best thing you can do now is focus on doing what you want the rest of your life. here’s some thing can help with that: go to any fighting club (boxing, MMA, etc) and tell the trainer a little about what you’re going through. then get work out until you can’t anymore. then pick a day to do it over again. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. it can help you see what to avoid doing when you are ready to date again. the next relationship after a bad ma…
/r/Divorce_Men19/04/22 04:34 AM
6

“if she marries me she must actually like me.” people get married for lots of reasons, actually liking their spouse isn’t always one. the guy she really wants is smart enough to not get married or she can’t marry him, so she settles. then if the guy she settles for doesn’t put any boundaries in place, she starts to resent him for not being like the guy she really wanted (alpha widow look at Tupac-Will-Jada).
/r/Divorce_Men18/04/22 12:33 PM
11

better late than never. there’s plenty of guys facing a grey divorce and their options are no retirement anytime soon or hoping on a plane.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 11:38 PM
4

if you don’t go for it, you’ll always wonder. give it a shot for a few months then reevaluate.
/r/Divorce_Men17/04/22 12:33 AM
3

it’d be so much worse if you had kids with her. look into giving her the majority or the entire proceeds from the house if it drastically reduces or eliminates alimony entirely.
/r/Divorce_Men16/04/22 01:29 PM
12

don’t be her plan b. if froy wanted a serious relationship with her, she wouldn’t “miss you”. I also wouldn’t bother having another talk with froy if he asked for one.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 11:42 PM
2

figure out what matters more to you: getting what you can out of the house or walking away not owing her a dime. don’t give up anything without getting something back.
/r/Divorce_Men15/04/22 04:34 PM
16

yeah she spent money to serve you as a prank.
/r/askMRP14/04/22 09:46 PM
3

focus on what you can control, and that’s being a rock for your kids. take a few hours and go on a walk/drive somewhere. write out all the things you wish you could say to her then either get rid of it or put it somewhere you’re 100% sure no one will ever see. finding an outlet if you don’t have one already will also help (fighting club, cooking, any hobbies you lost touch with).
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 11:59 PM
4

the #s on second marriages are terrible and you barely ended the first one. just don’t get married again and make sure there’s no common law where you live if you do move in together.
/r/Divorce_Men13/04/22 10:57 PM
4

you couldn’t fund her lifestyle anymore so she left. the good news is it won’t cost you much to legally be done with her. if your business kept growing and you stayed for years or decades more, you’d be screwed. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube to see how to avoid another relationship (take your time before even considering another serious one) like this one again.
/r/Divorce_Men12/04/22 08:20 PM
2

don’t assume anything. book a consult with a lawyer and explain everything.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 02:54 PM
4

unless their was a massive advantage to living close to her family, I’d want to live by my own. but that’s me. you’re going have to live with the call, so take some time, write your thoughts out, then make a decision you’ll stand on.
/r/askMRP10/04/22 11:54 AM
11

the real trap is chasing the cheese thinking it’ll never change.
/r/Divorce_Men10/04/22 03:17 AM
5

not great but it won’t matter much in the long run. at least you STFU afterwards and didn’t DEER.
/r/askMRP09/04/22 10:13 PM
2

I feel bad for her occasionally and wonder if I should let this go, but then I think of the terror in my boy's voice on the phone that day and the looks on their faces when I got home, and then I get angry. And so no, I am not letting this go. that’s the right call. if you let a single thing go with her, she’ll exploit that opening as much as she can.
/r/MensRights09/04/22 01:06 PM
2

the best path forward is figuring out what you want. do you want a divorce? book a consult with a lawyer and work on your exit plan. do you want your kids to understand how hurt you are? slowly withdraw. you don’t have to yell or curse or them. just build a barrier that will take time for them to break down before they earn your trust again.
/r/Divorce_Men08/04/22 09:36 PM
4

your family isn’t perfect and it’s already divided. your kid might not even remember he said that if you stay and try to fix this mess anyway. don’t stop the process.
/r/Divorce_Men07/04/22 01:32 PM
30

if she cheated on you, why are you still married to her? if she cheated in the past, why did you marry a cheater?
/r/askMRP07/04/22 01:00 PM
25

even if you did manage to have a relatively good marriage for a while, a grey divorce could destroy any retirements plans you have. the best way to win is not to play.
/r/Divorce_Men05/04/22 11:18 AM
6

it’s why every guy should get a DNA test early on. I don’t care how long you’ve been dating or how much you think you can trust her, if you don’t take one and find out it’s not your kid years later, all the options suck.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 01:59 PM
3

deal with the emotions for a little bit, then let them roll off you. your life will only get better from here on out. exit affairs tend to either not work or be miserable. be ready and strong enough to say no thanks if your ex tries to come back down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 01:23 PM
7

it’ll cost you a lot less too. it’s also why some guys would rather just pay child support than give marriage a shot.
/r/Divorce_Men04/04/22 01:44 AM
8

in your other post you said you have a daughter, I hope you got a DNA test. if it’s his kid, get him to pay child support instead. if he doesn’t, then think about turning him into HR.
/r/Divorce_Men02/04/22 01:17 PM
8

you have to leave. she knows how to push your buttons. staying in this marriage will lead you to an early grave.
/r/Divorce_Men31/03/22 04:49 AM
5

the fastest way is just to book a consult with an experienced divorce lawyer. they’ll have some stories and can point you in the right direction for other countries. one dirty trick I’ve seen used is filing a false claim to get the father out the home. then he has to scramble to find a place to live, fight that claim, find a lawyer, while paying for a place he doesn’t have access to.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 12:17 PM
3

she’s in no rush to get a divorce since she’s not risking anything, you are. book a consult with a lawyer and work on different game plans. even if you don’t hire one, it’ll give you a baseline you can use for meditation.
/r/Divorce_Men28/03/22 01:33 AM
8

if you’re on the fence, take your time, but if your mind is made up about not wanting to have kids, consider getting a vasectomy. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube as well so you’ll see what to avoid doing while dating.
/r/Divorce_Men26/03/22 01:56 PM
3

it says she saw you doing better and whoever she monkey branched too (look it up) wasn’t working out. but generally, giving it another shot doesn’t work. one positive is at least you don’t have any kids, so you can make a clean break away from her.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 06:40 PM
8

and that’s why it’s better to grey rock or completely cut contact once you start the divorce process. it would’ve saved you the pain you’re going through now, but now you know for sure not to bother playing her game anymore. look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. it could help give you some answers or at least show you what to avoid when you’re ready to start dating again (don’t rush into anything serious).
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 05:44 PM
2

start with DNA, STD tests, and talk to a lawyer to start working on a exit plan. when you do file, don’t leave the house no matter what she says, it could put you on the hook for abandonment. ask your lawyer what steps you can take to protect yourself while you’re there and make an area of the house your fortress.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 12:54 PM
10

agreed. he also needs to get DNA and STD tests ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men25/03/22 03:42 AM
19

put the phone down and take a drive/walk somewhere. write out all the negative things you want to say and take a second to look it over. then get rid of it, forgive yourself, and do better tomorrow.
/r/Divorce_Men24/03/22 02:57 PM
26

you’ll probably have to break up with her. even if she says she’s okay with it, she’s going to try to change your mind. and if that doesn’t work, an “oops” baby might. no matter what you decide to do, keep your eyes open.
/r/Divorce_Men23/03/22 08:10 PM
3

My GF gave me the ILYBINILWY a year ago. She was the first woman that didn't dump me after a few months. She still wants to be with me, marry me and have kids. I know I'm only her beta bucks (at the moment). We fuck every 2-3 weeks. She complains that I do everything wrong in the bedroom. She has been on the CC with a bunch of chads, was very open about her sexual past. Finances are excellent, I could walk if I want with nearly no consequences. your GF (and accurately so based on your comments) …
/r/askMRP23/03/22 01:59 PM
5

use money from your good career to get a lawyer that has experience with cases like yours. then don’t make a move without your lawyers say so.
/r/Divorce_Men22/03/22 02:29 AM
1

that’s good but still get a STD test.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 04:32 AM
1

get DNA and STD tests ASAP.
/r/Divorce_Men21/03/22 04:24 AM
16

the only failure would be staying and accepting that treatment. let her find a new punching bag while you focus on yourself and your kid.
/r/Divorce_Men20/03/22 03:46 PM
11

give up custody to her and there’s a very real chance you’re spending your savings and then some to see your kid again.
/r/Divorce_Men19/03/22 12:55 AM
3

plenty of good advice given already but another thing I’d do is look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. it’ll either help you fix the current marriage (depending on how far gone things are) or show you what you can do differently in your next relationship (take your time before you seriously date again).
/r/Divorce_Men18/03/22 12:47 PM
1

the longer you stay, the harder it will be to recover. you’re right on the edge of a grey divorce. start booking consults with lawyers who dealt with cases like yours and work on different game plans. it’s not to late to put yourself first.
/r/Divorce_Men16/03/22 06:04 PM
17

Lance is caught up on Anna’s looks and the sister is jealous she got him.
/r/RedPillWomen16/03/22 02:29 PM
2

at the end of day, you’re the one who has to live with your decisions. most people’s opinions aren’t even their own. they’re worried about what other people or their own partner would think. live life for you and strive everyday to be someone your kids can look up to. the rest is mostly noise.
/r/Divorce_Men15/03/22 08:04 PM
3

depending on how the talk goes, you might learn something that could help you get some of that money back...
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 11:04 PM
2

start thinking about things this way, how is doing this going to benefit me? list the positives of moving out and the negatives. it’ll be pretty obvious what you should do then. also look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 09:20 PM
6

look up lawyers today and meet with one tomorrow or the next day. you don’t have to blow the whole deal up, but you want to know exactly what you’re getting into and what you’re possibly giving up if you sign.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 08:55 PM
3

it sounds like you’re handling things well. here’s some things you can do to help with the next steps: look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. it’ll help you see what you can do differently when you’re ready to date again. don’t get into another serious relationship anytime soon. right after a serious relationship is when you’re the most vulnerable to get into a horrible one. pick a place you either haven’t been to in a while or always wanted to visit and…
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 03:33 PM
4

just flat out tell people you’re not getting married. if they keep trying to change your mind say you’ll stop talking to them if they don’t cut it out.
/r/Divorce_Men14/03/22 06:30 AM
4

do you want kids? if you don’t, consider getting a vasectomy. also keep your eyes open, don’t get married again, and don’t even think about moving anyone into a place you really care about unless you take steps to protect yourself and your home beforehand.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/22 08:39 PM
3

figure out what you value more (example would be alimony vs large payout) and move fast while things are still amicable.
/r/Divorce_Men13/03/22 08:35 PM
18

making another person your everything is never a good idea. most people will take advantage, push boundaries, get bored, then eventually check out. look up and stick to grey rock when you do interact with her.
/r/Divorce_Men12/03/22 06:00 PM
2

do you have someone you can reach out to or they can come over/meet up with you? being alone for too long during times like this isn’t advised.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 10:54 PM
4

some people can have sex with their STBX and be fine. it’s pretty clear from your post, you’re not one of those people. don’t do it.
/r/Divorce_Men11/03/22 04:25 PM
8

cheating on both sides 9 years into it and no kids? run and don’t look look back. don’t be another cautionary tale of someone who passed on a great exit point and regretted it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/22 06:09 PM
16

never put someone you’re in a relationship with through school. one guy took a single mom and put her through law school. one guess how pleasant that divorce was. you’re paying for them to find branches, ditch you, then get paid for it.
/r/Divorce_Men10/03/22 05:48 AM
5

book a consult with a lawyer first (some do free ones) then work on your exit plan. secure any valuables/important documents before you say a word to her. also look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. it’ll help you be less of a “yes” man.
/r/Divorce_Men09/03/22 06:39 PM
11

you openly have plates, she fights with them, her kids are grown, and it sounds like you don’t have kids with her. why are you still married?
/r/askMRP08/03/22 05:36 PM
1

start with DNA, STD tests, and talk to a lawyer to start working on a game plan for different scenarios. if you’re still in the house, ask your lawyer what steps you can take to protect yourself while you’re there and make an area of the house your fortress. if you’re not in the house, ask if you’d be on the hook for abandonment if you don’t move back in. also look into reading No More Mr. Nice Guy or listening to the audiobook on YouTube. it can help you see what you can do differently when you…
/r/Divorce_Men08/03/22 02:20 AM
3

find a lawyer that has experience with cases like yours and ask specific questions to make sure they’re not bsing you. if this is their first rodeo, find someone else.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 04:48 PM
3

yep the pool of guys who can do that and want a serious relationship let alone marriage get smaller every day. you’ll be in a great spot after this to dictate what kind of relationship you want if any.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 03:41 AM
2

outside of her having her own issues, it’s also possible she realized people are not signing up to get married anymore. theres still some people who are, but the rates are dropping. now she realizes working things out with you isn’t so bad for her, but it would be for you. don’t look backwards.
/r/Divorce_Men05/03/22 03:04 AM
15

so you’re in one of the best states for alimony, and you want to leave that state while preparing for a possible divorce? it sounds like you’re leaving the wrong thing.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 01:56 PM
6

write this down and pin it somewhere “I won’t get married again” never be alone with her, look up and stick to gray rock if you do ever talk to her, listen to your lawyer and you should be fine.
/r/Divorce_Men04/03/22 04:06 AM
1

she’s reliant on you but bashes you and your family anyway. she does what she wants, it’s time for you to start doing what you want.
/r/Divorce_Men03/03/22 07:22 AM
18

she’s waiting for the lease to run out too before branching to a co-worker.
/r/askMRP02/03/22 02:59 PM
18

yep and even if this story isn’t true, it’s happening to other people.
/r/TheRedPill02/03/22 05:28 AM
1

if STFU isn’t working,why can’t you leave or say something like I’m not discussing this now?
/r/askMRP01/03/22 04:21 PM
6

figure out your primary focus (career or family focus) then go from there. if you want to focus on your career then go for more 50/50 kind of relationships. if you want to focus on marriage, figure out if you want to be a SAHM or keep working. then pick someone who aligns with what you want. the wall is a physical thing but it’s also about not focusing on what you want when you’re younger.
/r/RedPillWomen01/03/22 02:41 PM
5

sounds like you’re set. at some point she’ll probably try to test the waters and see if you’re open to trying again. it sounds like you know what to say if (when) that happens.
/r/Divorce_Men28/02/22 04:38 AM
7

an open marriage is stupid. you’re taking all the risk, while she can openly set up branches. and you can get the benefits of an open marriage without being married. an open relationship still isn’t great but at least the risk is a lot lower.
/r/TheRedPill27/02/22 01:59 PM
1

and that’s why people always say to never willingly leave the home. the good news is it looks like you have a decent chance of winning anyway. after the current battle is over, don’t let up. she clearly has no respect for you. don’t give up anything without getting something in return.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 03:01 PM
3

the process won’t be easy, but it’s clear you made the right call.
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 07:40 AM
18

what did your lawyer say was the best way?
/r/Divorce_Men26/02/22 04:18 AM
8

put on your best fake smile and hope he hangs around if he’s not a psycho. you’re at the finish line and she’d be his problem now.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 06:36 AM
4

no problem. it’s not what you wanted but it’s better it happened now. there’s people going through gray divorces now who wish it happened in their 20s instead.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 01:32 AM
12

your STBX (soon to be ex) monkey branched (look it up). things will suck for now, but you’ll be better off in the long run. have at least one hobby to help keep yourself levelheaded (cooking/going to the gym/jogging, etc.) spend time with friends and family as well. it’s better to not go through this alone if possible.
/r/Divorce_Men23/02/22 01:15 AM
3

everyone that gets out of a long relationship would be better off if they could get away for a little while afterwards. right after a bad relationship is when people are most vulnerable to end up in an even worse one.
/r/Divorce_Men22/02/22 08:28 PM
1

you’re in a war vs someone who even got their kids to accept something majority will cut parents off for. you’re going to have to be a leader she wants to keep following, set boundaries, and be willingly to walk away if needed. no matter what you do, definitely don’t have another kid as things are.
/r/askMRP22/02/22 06:30 PM
6

her goal is to be the fun parent and talk them into being with her full time or convincing you to give them up. write out a plan for how you want to raise your kids, and do your best to stick to that when you have them. that’s all you can control right now.
/r/Divorce_Men21/02/22 04:38 PM
5

looks like it’s one cocktail limit for you... on a more serious note, good for you putting yourself out there. there’s a lot of people who wouldn’t file or go out, you did both. also just because the 22 said something, doesn’t mean it’s true, or that it’ll be true in 10 years or even next.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/22 02:16 PM
17

get back in your house and get a lawyer. you’re getting a taste of what you’re in for if you don’t.
/r/Divorce_Men20/02/22 01:48 AM
8

then you may as well follow through. you just got a small taste of what’d you be in for if you had your own kids with her.
/r/askMRP19/02/22 12:08 PM
4

it would’ve most likely came out anyway. at least it happened now and not a decade or more down the road.
/r/Divorce_Men19/02/22 07:42 AM
1

talk to a lawyer first. you could end up paying the same or even more with a lower paying job depending on the judge.
/r/Divorce_Men18/02/22 03:45 PM
1

change takes time. you’ll going to keep getting tested, it’s up to you to pass them, be the the oak she has confidence in following.
/r/askMRP11/02/22 05:51 PM
8

two things you need to do ASAP: 1) have your mom watch the kids as much as she can while you... 2) GET A LAWYER. start looking them up today and meet with up tomorrow or at very least, before the week is over. you’ll never be in a better position to file, don’t waste it.
/r/Divorce_Men07/02/22 09:11 PM
5

you’re not ready to be anyone’s husband, let alone father. worry about that first instead of 20 questions.
/r/askMRP06/02/22 06:00 PM
2

letting your guard down always leads to disaster. listen to what your lawyers say about forgoing anything. the most important thing is child support and 50/50. if she doesn’t play ball there, in an ironclad agreement, all bets are off.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 03:34 PM
6

do your best to put as close to 100% as you can while looking for a new job.
/r/Divorce_Men05/02/22 12:05 AM
1

no problem. 50/50 is a good hill to die in on. good luck with everything and look into reading No More Mr Nice Guy. it’ll help you see what to avoid next time if you ever get into another relationship.
/r/Divorce_Men04/02/22 09:15 AM
6

you have to play the game. you know something she doesn’t know about. listen to your lawyer and don’t say a word about it until they give the green light (if they ever do.) these few months-year are going to play a big part of how the rest of your life goes. do what’s best for your kids and have at least one hobby to help keep yourself levelheaded (cooking/going to the gym/jogging, etc.) get DNA and STD Tests as well if you haven’t yet.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 08:13 AM
2

no worries. sit down with your lawyers and work out different scenarios if you keep doing what you’re doing now vs going back to that state then go talk to your family. you could also take a drive/walk after you talk to your lawyers or after you talk to your family to make a final call. write out what your ideal life looks like and work on a plan to make it happen.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 01:38 AM
1

I’d do whatever it takes. see if you can take a break from school for now.
/r/Divorce_Men03/02/22 01:11 AM
1

she definitely worked out a plan with her to cut you out. I personally would fight hard for custody and would have no issues getting alimony and child support. they’ll never like you, but by standing up for yourself you can get them to at least respect you or at think for a second before trying anything major.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 10:58 PM
5

don’t assume anything. go talk to a lawyer that has experience with long marriages.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 05:21 PM
2

do you have a lawyer? she should be the only paying you and I definitely wouldn’t have left the home unless forced out by the cops. if the divorce isn’t official yet, this is the time to fight back. if you take a bad deal now, it’ll haunt you for years to come.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 03:02 PM
1

great story. it’s going to get worse for her. the chances of her finding a guy like her ex to marry her get smaller everyday. leaving him will be a decision she’ll be kicking herself over for a long time.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 02:43 PM
2

people who they never liked someone after the relationship ends are really annoying.
/r/Divorce_Men02/02/22 01:09 AM
2

pick a day, grab a notepad and take a drive somewhere. then write out the pros and cons of staying. also how you ideally want the rest of your life to go and does your wife fit into that life? if she doesn’t, do you see a way to change that? and if you bring that notepad back with you, make sure those papers are somewhere no one else will see.
/r/Divorce_Men01/02/22 11:31 PM
7

you’re not an oak, so this is the results you get. at least you didn’t put a ring on it (yet).
/r/askMRP01/02/22 02:51 PM
2

look up and stick grey rock when you talk to her about anything besides the kids and be careful when she figures that out and tries to bait you when talking about them. let your lawyer handle the other convos.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 02:23 PM
3

ask your lawyer what steps you can take to protect yourself. there’s a lot of ways this can go. what people don’t understand when they monkey branch (look it up) is that person doesn’t have to deal with all of them. it’s all fun and thrills. when a divorce happens, things gets real, and the “boyfriend” will probably not be interested in that for long. that’s why she wants to see if she can keep you around.
/r/Divorce_Men31/01/22 07:39 AM
3

I haven't told her how unhappy I am. keep it that way. I glanced at your last post and your relationship pre marriage was a train wreck and didn’t get better post. talk to a lawyer, and work on your exit plan. it’s time to write out a plan to take your life back.
/r/Divorce_Men30/01/22 01:40 AM
3

looks like you need to start posting on OYS. you’ve been at this for years and it’s not translating at all.
/r/askMRP29/01/22 07:09 PM
3

If I leave, I have a 20 year old I could build a new life with but knowing things could turn sour. And I will devastate my family. if you leave, leave because you want to leave. don’t leave and try to seriously date a hot crazy 20 year old with more red flags than the ones you’ve seen so far. you were attracted to your wife at some point, figure out what changed, what you can do about it, then make a decision and stand on it.
/r/askMRP27/01/22 10:27 PM
7

if you have enough time to go to this dinner, find something better to do, and that’d be just about anything.
/r/Divorce_Men23/01/22 07:43 AM
7

if you’re sure on that, consider getting a vasectomy. plenty of people didn’t want kids until pregnancy happens then it’s out of your hands if she wants to keep the baby.
/r/Divorce_Men22/01/22 04:40 PM
2

focus on the outcome you want and don’t try to change their minds. if they reach out to you at some point and come in good faith, you can give it a shot then. you also have to be prepared to go low or no contact with them if needed.
/r/RedPillWomen22/01/22 04:38 PM
2

assume you won’t patch things up, prepare for things to get nasty, and be pleasantly surprised if things stay amicable.
/r/Divorce_Men18/01/22 10:24 AM
2

1 year old was a "surprise". and your post was even more downhill from there. it’s up to you to be in control of the birth.
/r/askMRP18/01/22 01:14 AM
19

Wife also wants another child and have given me an ultimatum if we don't plan for a kid in a few months she'll leave. I've been pushing it off by 6months to a year a few times as I know its like hitting myself with an axe. She's not the kind of person I'd commit to another 20-28 years of my life with another kid. having another kid right now is the worst possible thing you could do outside of continuing things the way they are. talk to a lawyer and figure out what you’re in for if (when) she fil…
/r/askMRP17/01/22 03:44 AM
35

cancel it and file before you go, waste time and money and possibly end up bringing a kid into this.
/r/Divorce_Men15/01/22 04:07 PM
4

you can’t talk people out of getting married once things get that far but you can help them notice things they might be missing. guiding/pointing things out that are issues is a lot more effective than telling most people not to do something if they’re not specifically looking for that kind of advice.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 08:16 PM
5

maybe he wants to hear what time/day works for you then he’ll see if he can make it work his schedule or not.
/r/RedPillWomen14/01/22 08:30 AM
1

keep reading and work on internalizing. okay go for conflict if there’s a benefit for you, which will be rare.
/r/Divorce_Men14/01/22 05:00 AM
1

I know things suck now, but this could’ve been way worse for you. another 5 years or so could’ve set you back decades, especially if you had a kid as well. focus on figuring/writing out how you want the rest of your life to go. then surround yourself with people who will support, help you with your goals, or both. also read No More Mr. Nice Guy. they’ll probably be a few aha moments and it can help you avoid getting into another relationship like this one in the future.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 10:47 PM
2

find a lawyer that has experience with long marriages and get creative. don’t say anything to her about a divorce until you have different plans ready.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 06:53 PM
2

re-read no more Mr. Nice Guy and look up oneitis.
/r/Divorce_Men13/01/22 02:20 PM
3

is him being frustrated with you a recent thing or something that has always happened? and if it’s a recent thing, can you remember any major changes that happened around that time?
/r/RedPillWomen12/01/22 06:59 AM
6

since you have three kids together, you’ll be dealing with her for a long time. she has no respect for you. go to court and set the tone. then you can possibly scale things back once she sees you won’t just roll over.
/r/Divorce_Men11/01/22 04:54 AM
1

she can still make things difficult but short marriages without kids are easier to exit from. he doesn’t have to worry about CS, custody, or parental alienation. he can also make a clean break after the divorce and block her on everything.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 02:48 PM
3

something is off here. either she’s up to something or she’s just really bored and using this “business” to pass time.
/r/Divorce_Men10/01/22 07:31 AM
3

if you have good parents, listen to them in the future. be happy you’re getting out only after a few months. some people ignore their family and friends advice and don’t get out until kids and a hefty sum. book a consult with a lawyer (some do free ones) in Washington and ask the next steps. also never do a long distance relationship again. the % of them that work is so small it’s basically none.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/22 10:58 PM
5

if you can, pick a place you either haven’t been to in a while or always wanted to visit and go for a few days to clear your head. if you can’t do that then take a walk or drive for a few hours. lean into her finding her spiritual self while you focus/write out how you want the rest of your life to go. look at her as a roommate and stick to grey rocking her.
/r/Divorce_Men08/01/22 03:03 PM
You can kill a man, but you can't kill an idea.

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