As women, we have been brainwashed by society to always believe that other people (usually men) treating us poorly is because of something WE did wrong. We have been conditioned to take all the blame for men’s actions and abuse towards us and to absolve them of all accountability.

For this reason, oftentimes, especially in the early stages of vetting a man out, we make excuses for his poor behavior and choose to let things slide. This is a mistake.

During the initial stages of getting to know a man or when developing a crush we are often blinded by rose-coloured glasses and excuse red flags as not being “a big deal”.

This, coupled with the fear of being called a “Karen” or “hysterical and insecure”, makes us unlikely to leave while we have not yet developed too many feelings, and instead choose to play “cOoL giRL” and put up with low-value garbage.

The first time something feels off, or if red flags are starting to show early on, we have to leave. Choosing to stay will only bring along more red flags and potential danger. Trusting our gut feeling will save us.

Edit: I also wanted to add that by repeatedly ignoring our intuition and allowing red flags to pile up, we are gradually desensitizing ourselves to abuse.