I don't think in my 24 years of living have I been actually taken out on a "date "Because I've been a victim of the "hang out" scam where a guy will use your friendship, be vague as fuck and ask you to hang out with the ulterior motive to treat it as a date without your permission.

Hang out = what friends do with eachother

Date = what people do to explore romantic interest with each other to see if they are compatible, interested and serious about the future.

The hang out scam is meant to trick you into exploring romance with a guy without them having to deal with rejection. "Hanging out" seems innocent and adds less pressure, can be very low effort while also being a lower quality of experience overall because the guy gets to decide whether or not he considers it a date based on how well the plan goes for him. ("If I put moves on her while we hang out and she doesn't reciprocate, then it's not a date." )

I've been put in awkward positions where I think I'm just hanging out with a friend when the entire time he tries to pay for my meals, put his hands around my waist to "teach me" the proper positioning, makes unwelcomed sexual jokes, tell other people we are dating, invite themselves to "watch" my dance rehearsals, serenade me at a concert.... the list goes on

Even my ex boyfriend of a year never uttered the word date. It was always "I'm going with my brother to watch the new star wars movie, you can come if you want... its up to you." "My parents invited you for dinner tonight." "My mom is asking if you want to join us for Christmas... but itS uP tO yOu tHoUgH." He was such a coward he would use his family as a way to get me to hAnG oUt with him and place in "its up to you" instead of "I want you to come" because its lessens the probability of rejection. But like... dude I was your girlfriend, why would you be scared to properly ask me out????

Insecure men will avoid the word "date" when they fear rejection and loss. Emotionally unavailable men will avoid the word date to avoid commitment. My ex was both and wanted the benefits of the romance I could give him while he could treat me as a friend. I look back at my relationship and sadly notice it was more like a friends with benefits relationship then an actual one.

I was reflecting the other day wondering why men who like me so much (as they claim) don't properly ask me out on an actual date. Asking for date is a sign of RESPECT because you are asking for consent on whether or not you can explore the boundaries of something romantic. Using friendship as a way to trick you into sleeping with them or falling for them is manipulation and people who do that do not respect your boundaries, standards and are selfish.

High quality men are not afraid of the word "date" and are willing to risk rejection if it means they have a proper chance with the woman of their dreams.