“We need more male mental health professionals” is something I’ve been told and “men should be more willing to go to therapy”. Is something else. This is an excerpt from an introduction textbook in my grad program. I wonder why men aren’t going to therapy

Jazzlike-Parsley-566 · 2021-09-09T07:41:02+00:00

I had this discussion with somebody once.

They told me that men are the default and then told me that they killed themselves far more often than women do because they don't seek therapy.

I explained the number of times I attempted to get therapy and how probably many more people like me had trouble like that. If I am "the default" why can't I find therapy?

She explained that therapy sucks and is difficult to find.

I basically said "so you went for blaming all men for their problems as opposed to expressing that therapy needs to be easier to reach?"

Algoresball · 2021-09-09T03:24:47+00:00

Sorry I didn’t mean to tag this NSFW

I’m exhausted and extremely frustrated. I’ve been working in social services for many years and have been being told all this time that I should go back to school so that I can step into a clinical role. This is an passage from an intro textbook. The author of this book decided to vent her personal anti male frustration into a textbook and it somehow got published and is literally one of the first things that future mental health care workers are “learning” about. Why should men go to therapy when this is the kind of “education” that the therapist get? I’m trying to decide if I should talk to my professor or advisor and how I should frame the conversation. I included the second photo to point out that this brought up and then dropped and never brought up again. The writer can dedicate a whole paragraph to anti man rant but not even a fallow up sentence about why men are dying?

Edit: I googled the author, turns out it’s a male. I guess he doesn’t give a shit about all the issues facing other men. I guess being a man is easy when you’re a tenured professor who gets to sit an an ivory tower far removed from physical labor.

LacklustreFriend · 2021-09-09T04:57:34+00:00

I recommend the Prim Reaper's two video series for those interested in this topic:

The Hijacking of Higher Education

My White Whale (APA Men Guidelines).

Prim was a psychology grad student who covered how much anti-male and feminist ideology has corrupted the field of psychology.

jostyouraveragejoe2 · 2021-09-09T05:11:47+00:00

This is descasting and of course with no real evidence just hay they are bad and they are the problem OBVIOUSLY.

MrElderwood · 2021-09-09T10:29:39+00:00

80% of 'successful' male suicide victims either sought or received therapy. It still wasn't enough (or good enough) to dissuade them from suicide.

And as for the 'male professional' point, I have finally started to receive financial support form the government, every penny of which I intend to spend on private therapy. Problem is, I simply can't find one that's appropriate, even if I'm willing to pay out of pocket for it!

AmiablePenguin · 2021-09-09T08:30:21+00:00

Privilege is a dangerous entity in the wrong hands. Academically, it's a source of furious debate and criticism, but too often it's used as a blanket buzzword to gloss over some of the more fundamental issues that we neglect due to the illusion of outrage.

The rhetoric of more men seeking therapy is a welcome one, but I'm not so sure it should be enforced by others. Everyone fights their own battles and whatnot. Therapy, like any other voluntary institution should be a choice left down to the individual at concern. The idea of certain people forcing you into it may at first glance seem like well-meaning concern, but we often overlook how the demands that others makes sometimes only seek to serve themselves. Often, that comes at the cost of other individuals- namely these men who need help and genuine empathy.

Indoctrination of male privilege as a negative concept in a clinical setting is not an objectively commendable approach. You fool every man into thinking that he has his own kingdom from birth, he'll grow up thinking that he never needs to step outside the castle's walls. And you'll place the blame on his head, which will weigh more than any crown or thorns.

DIES-_-IRAE · 2021-09-09T16:08:44+00:00

Getting a feminist therapist is a fucking curse.

I've had two over the course of my life and both were miserable experiences.

Do whatever you can to find a male therapist.

thereslcjg2000 · 2021-09-10T02:02:50+00:00

It’s maddening that people with the supposed goal of helping others would start on such a dehumanizing premise. Even if it were 100% true, how the hell will it help mentally ill men to tell them they have it easy?

Blauwpetje · 2021-09-09T13:33:42+00:00

I went to a psychologist and she asked me: shouldn't you just accept your life the way it is? I answered, viciously: that's an easy way to earn your money, asking questions like that!

I tried to found a support group for single men with the help of the local social work. I was willing to put most of the effort into it for free, I mainly needed their network and them doing the pr. After more than a year, virtually nothing had happened.

BloomingBrains · 2021-09-10T23:00:39+00:00

Interestingly, my experience with therapy was a bit different. I had originally sought it for help dealing with my issues of self-flagellation, feeling like I'm a monster, etc. To my surprise, my female therapist actually sympathized with these issues. I had expected the opposite: that she would accuse me of being "entitled" and that I need to work on not being misogynistic or whatnot as the internet has conditioned me to expect from people. Instead she understood why I would feel that way and appeared to genuinely want to help me improve my self-esteem. I remember clearly one thing she told me was something like: "I fully believe that you're a great guy."

The reason I stopped going was because getting outside validation didn't help me like I thought it would. I learned that that has to come from within yourself, not external sources. But I also don't think that the therapist I was talking to was a true academic professional. They were more like a basic counselor, so ymmv. Just thought I'd add my anecdotal experience to the mix in case it helps provide any insight.

rootComplex · 2021-09-09T14:05:21+00:00

Is the correlation being made by OP that men aren't going to therapy because they don't like hearing about male privilege?

Seriously asking here: doesn't a man who gets pissy about hearing a truth he doesn't like need to get into therapy even more than the average man?

This whole thread and a bunch of the responses are really reinforcing that what OP is complaining about hearing is (at least in his case) dead on accurate.

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