Lies “body/sex positive” influencers tell 🧐 (Mega-post about self-objectification and posting sexy pics)

samedinuitmort · 2021-10-18T10:47:46+00:00

Here’s some strategy for you: Don’t confuse being sexual with being powerful. Don’t confuse being attractive with having self-esteem. Don’t try to solve your emotional issues with the external stimulus of online attention, it doesn’t work. And be careful how you portray yourself online - men have sexual expectations of women who post “confident” (to them, sexual) photos. Work on de-objectifying yourself, so you’re not contributing to your mistreatment.

Discussion about objectification and self-objectification: I was watching this video by the Try Guys where “Moms Post Thirst Traps For A Week”, already expecting it to be full of bullshit but curious about the featured women’s POV.

They bring in an “influencer” to teach them how to pose and take “thirst trap” photos, and this was the woman’s definition of a “thirst trap”: “My definition of a thirst trap is to bring attention, to embracing my body and giving people permission to look at it and say “I want to do that too”.”

Ma’am?? What’s with this delusional sugarcoating of a blatantly sexual term? Why are these women trying to take something that IS sexual and turn it into some fantasy “self-love” bullshit? It’s literally in the name, for crying out loud. A THIRST TRAP means you are posting a sexual photo of yourself as BAIT to create a TRAP for “THIRSTY” (aka sexually motivated) men! That’s literally what the term means - posting a sexual photo to see who “likes” it and lets you know they are sexually interested in you! (Which is NOT to say that every single “like” will be someone specifically sexually attracted to you. There will be also a mix of friends, loved ones and supportive women.) The influencer even goes on to demonstrate contorted poses (many of which are sexual, like that “bouncing on the dick” crouch pose), obviously with the goal of looking sexual in spite of what she tells herself.

Here is the thing: That fantasy world of getting approval for your appearance from other women would only exist if the only people seeing your photos are not objectifying you. And in our current culture, men objectify women, but women also objectify themselves and other women too. Women look at other women as visual competition, they compare themselves and judge how attractive the other women are. They are preoccupied with being as attractive as other women (in whatever new way this attractiveness is shaped nowadays - including different body shapes now). They see themselves and other women as primarily a visual object.

Unless you have a private instagram that you only allow certain women to follow, you can be sure your photos are being sexually used and vulgarly judged by men at least. Just wait until the day a creepy random comes comment about how you fit his fetish. But worse, DO know that your “friends”, the guys you know or are acquaintances with, your boyfriend’s pals who follow you, and even sometimes your cousins and other family members… THEY SEXUALIZE YOU TOO. Yes, they picture you sucking their dick or sitting on them. I’VE HEARD IT FROM MEN BEFORE. And there are DOZENS of subreddits dedicated to discussing these activities - go find out for yourself, if you doubt it! Not to mention that prospective partners will also expect you to be “sexually liberated” (aka let them degrade you, use you, humiliate you and have threesomes or open relationships) if you’re sharing “sexually liberated” photos online. They see your social media as an advertisement for them, the consumer. They see your sexy photos as your “brand values”.

Peak_Tree · 2021-10-18T14:58:03+00:00

I'm a wary MF in general so for privacy reasons I share NO pictures of me on social media ...and I'm one of the few women I know in real life that really likes her body. So I find no correlation between feeling well with myself in general and making pictures of my public for other people to judge tbh.

Curiously enough I've been told I'm insecure for not "showing off the goods" online so to speak.

Specific-Composer300 · 2021-10-18T11:50:20+00:00

If thirst traps are empowering why do no Fortune 500 CEOs do them?

curlyhaiir · 2021-10-18T12:50:54+00:00

Absolutely agree with you and thank you for this great post. I’m really sick and tired of women posting naked pictures of themselves with a 10k word essay about how showing your body is feminist and empowering. It’s not. It’s just about getting approval and to show men how hot! and sexy! feminism is, and that it’s not a threat for men. Liberal feminism is fucking with all these girls heads to be sex-positive (I.e. casual hookups, bdsm, other „kinky“ stuff) and to show off your body in order to show everyone you feel confident. We have girls that just turned 18 doing sex-work because it is so empowering… Why don’t we see men naked and flaunting their bodies or doing sex work? Because it’s not empowering at all.

aluriaphin · 2021-10-18T18:19:50+00:00

I didn't watch that video even though I follow the Try Guys. Ariel and Ned's brand especially is so wholesome, loving, and focused on parenthood I do not need to see her being "sexy". I believe y'all have sex! You have multiple kids! You seem to worship and adore her! You don't need to prove she's "hot" and "desirable" to the rest of the world, that just turns into the Married Pick Me ☹️

t3ddi · 2021-10-19T00:36:20+00:00

Odd. I recently became much more "awake" about just how flippin' weird photo documenting culture is. Its so pornographic and invasive even in unrelated contexts. Its... voyeuristic and non consensual really. People have no idea what they have gotten themselves into.

electroloop · 2021-10-18T13:18:41+00:00

I’m sick and tired of all these “body positivity” influencers using their “body positivity” as a means to pander to men and overly sexualize themselves on social media.

Great, you have stretch marks! Cool you’re embracing that tummy roll. Is it necessary to take a photo of yourself basically spread eagle for your male followers to show off how BrAvE and EmPoWeReD you are? We all know you’re not doing this because you want to break the mold of fakeness on social media. You’re doing this because you want some random middle age indian man to jerk off to your photos.

Chubby-Lovie · 2021-10-18T11:13:21+00:00

If you have to bring sex into your personal brand then you are doing sex work, the definition of sex work boils down to sex being used as a means of gaining resources(money, fame etc).
Dita Von Teese has her own line of clothing but is still a sex worker, because of how she structured her career.

If you are a sex worker, then are you adequately getting compensated?

I can guarantee most thirst trap pics can get confused with OF pics and will ruin your life just the same but you get even less than an OF creator.

queenofswordsxxx · 2021-10-18T15:37:37+00:00

So many words from a pickme that all translates to one line: “I use feminism/ empowerment as an excuse to more comfortably perform femininity and cater to the male gaze”

2021-10-19T06:59:36+00:00

Funny how all the brave, strong and truly empowered women I know would NEVER post a photo that’s scandalous or provocative in the slightest.

motokos_ghost · 2021-10-18T14:39:17+00:00

i need an honest answer from you ladies. im not sure if this is the last remnant of my former pickmeishaism or if i'm over thinking it. i don't post thirst traps on socials, and i barely post, BUT about 3 of my photos are me in a low cut top..cleavage out. am i objectifying myself? should i delete them? ...

Mysterious_Call_924 · 2021-10-18T23:12:34+00:00

Is this from that Try Guys video? I typically love their channel but I tried to watch this one and just felt so strange

poison_snacc · 2021-11-11T16:51:15+00:00

Wow thank you so much for this post.

Title	Lies “body/sex positive” influencers tell 🧐 (Mega-post about self-objectification and posting sexy pics)
Author	samedinuitmort
Upvotes	298
Comments	40
Date	October 18, 2021 10:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/FemaleDatingStrategy
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/comments/qak5gd/lies_bodysex_positive_influencers_tell_megapost/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/FemaleDatingStrategy/lies-bodysex-positive-influencers-tell-mega-post.1078855 https://theredarchive.com/post/1078855

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