Do they regret?

rockhoppernostopper · 2022-03-21T14:36:54+00:00

If she regrets it all I can say is I hope she lands in a better place.

If she doesn't regret it then good for her.

Surely early on in the process I had fantasies of her wallowing in despair but those desires no longer serve me in a positive manner.

daedalis2020 · 2022-03-21T15:27:03+00:00

Who cares, you’re divorced. Stop giving her free rent in your brain.

Ruggiard · 2022-03-21T14:48:34+00:00

I had these thoughts a lot, but now they wane. The marriage is over and there's more than one way to deal with it, but dwelling on the past seems like a dead end.

dadmacintosh · 2022-03-21T13:43:17+00:00

They usually do. They sleep around for a while and realize divorce is not what it is cracked up to be. They regret it when they see you do better. They almost never admit though. If/when comes back, it is because she has run out of options and she feels you are the best she can ever get. Never take her back.

jimsmythee · 2022-03-21T15:55:37+00:00

Mine did! I'm the one who divorced her after 11 years, but she was convinced that she would get a very favorable divorce for herself. You know, loads of alimony, full custody of the kids, my house, etc. She got half of my 401k and that was it. She was convinced her new husband after me was going to love her forever. It only lasted 6 months until he left her.

18 months post divorce she was broke, still unemployed, no car, etc. She had to move in with her parents. 3 years later? She's still there.

redveinlover · 2022-03-21T16:21:48+00:00

She regretted it about 3 months after nuking the bridge. Then when I wouldn’t take her back after destroying any trust could have had in her, it then became my fault for the split because I didn’t give her a second chance. So for the entire time we’ve been divorced, she’s convinced the kids that it’s all my fault. Of course they believe her over me, because they were too young to remember the fights she started right in front of them trying to trigger a reaction from me (didn’t work). Who cares if they regret anything? They certainly weren’t regretting it when they got into bed with the next dude.

WartimeDad · 2022-03-21T15:42:34+00:00

Nah they just lie to themselves. Whatever they have to do so that they do not face the consequences of their behaviors. Rewriting all of history is a common technique.

thefudmaster · 2022-03-21T14:22:00+00:00

I don't care if she regretted it or not. There were years where I thought she was going to drink herself to death, but fortunately she has that under control.

Character_Hippo90 · 2022-03-21T16:23:13+00:00

After thirty years since divorce, she has periodically called to remanence about the good times and keep me updated with what's going on in her life. And during both of her subsequent marriages we still occasioned to share intimate physical moments. Yes she regretted the split but understood it was a done deal for me.

playerknowmore · 2022-03-21T14:37:40+00:00

They do by miss calculations of AP. You they know you; destroying you is cold, calculated and affective. Her AP on the other hand is in the honeymoon stages. She only knows what he shows her and promised her. The problem with affairs is if you can be so believable lying to your SO it is a lot easier lying to AP.

She is looking at him and his life as it is; not accounting for his divorce and how it changes everything. Hell if you stand up for yourself she can't account how much she will lose in divorce. I promise you this has been planned for months. The "Pick Me Dance" is a small two step that adds years to your recovery. The moment "I'm not in love with you" passes her lips burn it all down. I want to remain friends is code speak for (I need you to be on board for the horrible bullshit I'm about to pull on you.

You want to see the ones who truly regret it? Look for the spouses of the men who stood up for themselves right away. The men that was smart enough to love themselves more. Yes the cheaters have a headstart. But that can be diminished because they never tell anyone the whole truth. You have to want them to regret it before not after. If you catch them divorce them before they know that you know. If not the moment the alert you that they are not in love with you; RUN. Always pick yourself; you want to live with her, but you have to live with you.

Hope this helps someone.

HelixFish · 2022-03-21T18:26:32+00:00

I divorced my ex. I do not regret it. I feel bad for the pain caused her. I still want her to be happy. She is still a horrible person sometimes and I do not miss it at all.

crypto_keeper88 · 2022-03-21T19:22:45+00:00

The only thing they ever regret is getting caught, self preservation is their only concern once the damage is done.

Rough-Area4765 · 2022-03-21T13:58:32+00:00

They do. They burn down the house on the way out to self justify their actions. But then after riding the cock-merry-go-round for a couple of years, they realize you were their best option. Tips on making them regret it even more: 1) don’t counter their actions and make it contentious. Be calm and smooth. 2) be your best self (physically and mentally). Hit the gym, look good, well groomed and happy to be single. Do not brag on social media and show off your new side chick. 3) show maturity and coparent well if you have kids. 4) don’t over engage or look for validation from her or anyone else.

It hit me hard this weekend how happy I am single and how she keeps poking to trigger a fight. It’s apparent she is miserable and her grass is always greener just turned into her ass is always available for other men to practice on.

Game over!

ThePhunkyPhantom13 · 2022-03-21T16:25:00+00:00

It does not matter if they do. The act of caring if they do or don't is giving them rent free space in your head.

pegleg_legal · 2022-03-22T02:40:37+00:00

Dig a moat and don't lower that fucking drawbridge.

rubix_fucked · 2022-03-22T14:43:21+00:00

Who cares if she regrets anything. If she asked for the divorce or motivated it by cheating on you or leaving sour grapes.

You won't have any regrets when she is gone completely from your life.

NohoTwoPointOh · 2022-03-21T15:43:45+00:00

Isn’t my concern.

Nor yours.

BreakfastOk2255 · 2022-03-22T01:05:33+00:00

As soon as the divorce is finalised - I'll never see or talk to her ever again. So I'll never know or care.

Title	Do they regret?
Author	skirted_dork
Upvotes	14
Comments	31
Date	March 21, 2022 1:22 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/tjbqby/do_they_regret/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/do-they-regret.1108262 https://theredarchive.com/post/1108262

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