Bluepill and purplepill thoughts on FDS?

2022-06-30T20:42:40+00:00

I think there are good things about it, like encouraging women to have standards, not doing things they aren't comfortable with, and having self respect. On the other hand, it can be incredibly cruel and demeaning to men, especially in the comments. It's full of angry women who are recovering from bad relationships. Their "no standards shaming" is really code for, no calling people out for saying horrible things about men.

FDS pushes gender roles, and treating relationships in a transactional way. In the end if you treat relationships like they are transactional, you will end up in a transactional relationship.

The sub focuses on things like guys being good looking and rich, but really doesn't focus enough on the importance of empathy, good communication, kindness, self-care, things that truly make for healthy lasting relationships.

The vibe I get from it is, I was in a bad relationship and felt like crap, so dating a hot, rich guy that pays for things is gonna fix everything.

trettles · 2022-06-30T20:31:28+00:00

I think a lot of it is very toxic. There are good points that are common sense, like vetting people, but to me a lot of them seem like they're chasing people far out of their league and then complaining all men suck. It's very similar to the redpill guys screaming all women suck and don't appreciate "good men". Like bruh, you have a terrible attitude, no social skills, are looking way out of your league, and think you deserve it because you have the basic adult skill of holding a job. There's nothing really good about you. For FDS it's no, having a vagina and make up doesn't make you worthy of some guy's money and time because you suddenly decided to have standards. I think most of the people on either side of that argument throwing a fit have been rightfully left single.

Intsellektuaal · 2022-06-30T20:35:03+00:00

I think there is a vague line of the real blue pill and the woman / FDS "bluepill".

Both are viewing women better than they actually are.

This is why a lot of FDS stupidity will get genuine debates here with red pillers becauss it is viewed as blue pill even though it is the opposite.

Requiring men to be 6ft tall with a large šwants and thick wallet is the literal opposite of "be kind and charming and just yourself"

RinoaRita · 2022-06-30T21:46:34+00:00

I feel like they’re the opposite side of the toxic aspects of mgtow. They basically would be their counter parts but both parties are so awful they want nothing to do with each other. Lol

trettles · 2022-07-01T06:19:23+00:00

No, I think it's the antidote to a toxic status quo
I think it's practical. A lot of women with liberal feminist backgrounds end up there because they've been treated horrifically in the past. It gives them the tools to build self-esteem & self-worth
The focus is on not allowing oneself to be treated like shit. Lots of men here seem to think it's about fat women demanding Chads. It's not. Even if a woman is fat/ugly/poor/whatever, she should not have to put up with poor behaviour from men. Being single is preferable to that. FDS reinforces the idea that if you set standards, HVM will aim to meet them. The LVM who can't/won't meet them become irrelevant.

Men who call it toxic are afraid of its power. They know that if it becomes mainstream, any chance of them getting pussy is over. To suggest it's anywhere near incel territory is just a cope. These women are not violent, nor wish harm on others, which is really the main troubling thing about incels.

just_a_place · 2022-07-01T08:18:11+00:00

FDS absolutely hates men but they are in hard denial about it for some reason.

All of their posts be like:

"God damned fucking men! Why can't those stupid assholes appreciate our feminine superiority over them! We hate them so much! We don't need no man! Yasss kween! Why the fuck ain't there no good men cause they all trash! Gad Namit!" 🤣

FDS is Cancer. 🙂

Eat your Red Pill vitamins kids and stay away from the Cancer.

IveGotIssues9918 · 2022-07-01T12:33:37+00:00

So, I know that this sounds the same to a redpiller as a guy who "just read TRP for the self improvement", but I used to just read FDS for the self-improvement. It was early in my trauma/narcissistic abuse recovery, about two years ago, and I had some posts from there saved that were about setting boundaries, how to respond to gaslighting, etc. I had like 3-5 posts of that nature saved, and IIRC they weren't even explicitly gendered (they were also talking about cutting out toxic women in your social life, and some of the memes could have been posted in any self-improvement subreddit). I do think that some of it is practical advice for not being a doormat in one's interpersonal relationships, which is something that a lot of women do need to learn. Of course, if you water down TRP to just be about setting boundaries, it too is merely practical. The one thing that I agree with about TRP is that it presupposes to get men out of a powerless mindset in their dating relationships.

Obviously there are a lot of posts on the sub that take it waaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too far. I don't think the constant showcase of "male depravity" is even mentally healthy for the women reading it, let alone for how they relate to the men in their lives. (I presume that many of these women don't have positive relationships with their fathers or brothers and that's why they're there, but... you kind of have to interact with the opposite sex at some point in order to exist in society and you can't fill your head with stories of how terrible they are and not have it affect you.) I think that the almost psychopathic detachment from romantic partners that they promote doesn't account for the reality of human emotions and that anyone that can practice that level of detachment is a walking red flag. It's very "means to an end", the same way that TRP views women, and if you're looking at your romantic partner as a "means to an end" you're doing it wrong. I also think that "dating strategies" like that in general are overly gamified and, again, don't account for the reality of human emotions and behavior.

I don't think FDS is equivalent to the incel subs simply because they don't promote violence, and I think that the level of hate it gets is disproprotionate. A lot of it comes from people who think that men's feelings are just as or more important than women's physical safety (e.g. "if insurance covers birth control for 'sluts', why doesn't it cover free prostitutes for incels?") But A not being as bad as B doesn't mean that there's nothing wrong with A.

chalkandapples · 2022-06-30T20:43:22+00:00

Do you think FDS is toxic?

Yes, they had it on their side bar that they only care about women's benefit and isn't concerned with how the man feels. I feel like a lot of their strategies is to put men into situations where he's good to her out of fallacy or necessity, like already being invested so much, or if he doesn't do it then there won't be sex or other things rather than because he actually likes her that much.

it practical?

Overall no. For a healthy person, it's not a good way to think about relationships at all. However, I get the feeling that a lot of people there historically are bad a setting boundaries, so rather than feeling it within themselves what their boundaries should be, they apply very artificial standards from other people.

Generally, if a guy likes you, they might do nice things for you. But because they may had wrong reads in the past on if a guy likes them, they over-rely on external cues. Like if the guy pays, or if he is putting in all the effort.

If you follow their advice, it's possible to get a good guy, even though the way you're evaluating for it is wrong. FDS is a filtering strategy, it's not effective at attracting more guys or higher quality guys, it filters out bad guys. The filtering strategy is very rough, but can still work. Basically, if there's 100 good guys and 100 bad guys, their strategy filters out maybe 90 of the bad guys and 70 of the good ones. It's a viable strategy only if your top priority is to not get hurt.

They require men to pay for them because they want to make sure this guy really likes her. I also want guys to really like me, but different men show that in different ways. I trust myself to be able to tell if a guy likes me, regardless of how much he spends one me.

How is it different from just being a manipulative woman who wants someone with no self esteem?

Like I said above, my sense when reading their subreddit is that it's most an extreme form of harm prevention. I'm not sure if they're aware they're being manipulative, they think it's normal maybe because people did it to them and it's normalized in their romantic interactions. My hunch is that some of them don't trust in their own likability deep down, so they try to use these tactics because they don't believe that a guy would love them a lot if not for those tactics (eg. sunk cost fallacy, withholding certain benefits etc.). A lot of them also seem to have the expectation that men will be terrible if you let them. They expect that they will have to do most of the housework and childrearing, and factor that in early on.

The way you described a relationship is how normal people relate to each other. Two people work together to live life. But I realize now that there's a lot of dysfunction in how people relate to each other out there.

sarkington · 2022-06-30T20:18:51+00:00

FDS is rehab

And like rehab, it can be a little weird, insular and OTT/excessive to normies

I’m surprised this isn’t more obvious to people

It’s also quite obvious that it is the female version of red pill

2022-06-30T21:19:48+00:00

Female dating strategy is basically the female equivalent of a incel. Except they aren't incel cuz they are women. Basically low tier women with insane standards and bitter/toxic about everything. Just ignore them.

If they stopped being so negative, worked on some self improvement and be productive, maybe then they would get a "high value man" as they put it lol

PurplePillEric · 2022-06-30T21:27:58+00:00

Any redpill guy who has a problem with women doing the EXACT SAME THING redpill guys do has got the most incredible case of non-self-awareness I've ever seen

Slyfer_Seven · 2022-06-30T20:27:33+00:00

Yes
Yes
They're trying to manipulate a man into a good relationship, so it seems like the ends justify the means in that regard, but I don't see anywhere that they would want a man with low self esteem. What do you mean by that?

OrdinaryFarmer · 2022-06-30T20:30:57+00:00

Can anyone explain to me why FDS is considered fringe when they just regurgitate and parrott common and typical mainstream points??

Blueexpression · 2022-07-01T00:30:21+00:00

FDS is just old obese women who made bad life choices (giving up the womb) telling other old obese women that they are all queens without regard for self examination and self improvement.

John_Oakman · 2022-06-30T20:56:02+00:00

Never forget, never again. Security at all costs. Remember that the vast majority of their members are victims & survivors of horrific abuse & suffering, and still has to live in an extremely dangerous and threatening world. Under such circumstances it's not really surprise that they would take seemingly drastic measures to ensure that they'll never be in that bad place again...

HeartCatchHana · 2022-06-30T20:13:22+00:00

I'm sad the sub is gone.

343_peaches_and_tea · 2022-06-30T20:28:50+00:00

FDS is a mixed bag.

On one hand a lot of them seem to have gone though a lot of shit with previous partners.

On another hand a lot of them sound like they were a cause of a lot of that shit.

And on the other hand they make fair points. If they're gonna do most of the housework in the relationship, he may as well pay for the first few dates.

"My gender stereotyped relationship is the most equal relationship I've ever experienced" - an FDSer

But then many of them espouse abusive strategies. Things like using sex as a tool to manipulate your partner.

They trauma bond and shit on men for fun.

But they're also self aware enough to have a purge of the actual hardcore misandrists who used to infest the sub like cockroaches.

...

Overall. I'll judge any FDSer on her own merits.

Some are reasonable people just trying to figure things out like everyone else.

Some though... They're literally walking trash.

HazyMemory7 · 2022-06-30T22:57:35+00:00

It's just a bunch of entitled women who want top tier men without any semblance of self improvement. They also recommend deceiving your partner about your sexual history and attack any woman that dissents.

Also, the lazy ass mods there started a $10,000 fundraiser and want people to join their patreon when they wont even open the sub.

wtknight · 2022-06-30T23:11:59+00:00

Do you think FDS is toxic?

No. I think that women should be demanding commitment from men before having sex with them. I don't agree with their stance on always making men pay, but the stance seems to be mostly based upon their stance on not wanting to be pumped and dumped, and if the guy sticks around even though he's not having sex, then I'm willing to guess that individual FDSers might relax their stance on men always paying.

Is it practical?

In the way that a union is practical. If most women are on board, then it is. If only a few women are, then high value men are just going to find the women who are willing to have casual sex or sex early in relationships and not bother with FDS women. The only men available to FDSers will then be lower value ones. FDSers may claim that these are the higher value men since these are the men who respect them, but they're likely to be not as good looking with not as good of jobs.

How is it different from just being a manipulative woman who wants someone with no self esteem?

I don't think that demanding respect from men is being manipulative, although I do think that when he's paying for everything for her despite her making plenty of money, it starts to get into manipulative territory.

EulenWatcher · 2022-07-01T05:02:30+00:00

I think FDS is a female equivalent of TRP. It has some common sense advice, it probably can help some individuals, but overall it's closer to a crab bucket full of hatred towards the other gender. I don't think it's much practical, most users probably need therapy and not some dating guru advice.

TigerRude4 · 2022-07-01T06:45:57+00:00

There was a post that said that 97% of men cheat and it got like 200 upvotes and majority in the comments agreed.

ruboyuri · 2022-06-30T22:21:28+00:00

They’re the female counterpart of red pill, not the female counterpart of incels

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2022-06-30T21:18:20+00:00

I don't know how to put this. FDS has the right intention but wrong execution sort of. Most of their problems would be easily solved if they just advised to go for a strict "no sex before marriage" policy. But I feel like that's not exactly what they want. It is like <insert\_color>pill men not wanting to stick to one woman.

In my opinion, FDS is not truley genuine with their intentions and goals.

2022-07-01T05:50:40+00:00

I like reading it but I think those women are approaching things with a desire for control and agency that is going to backfire. Life is muchore organic than that.

hotpinkpurple · 2022-07-05T18:36:32+00:00

FDS is way more repulsive then anything I’ve seen on TRP, and that’s saying a lot. Coming from a woman… I feel the same level of wretchedness and feeling like wanting to vomit reading stuff on FDS as I do reading misogynistic incel stuff.

Their mentalities and attitudes are the reason they struggle…. Same with TRP/MGTOW… pretty obvious stuff but both parties want to blame anyone but themselves and their mentality. Go figure.

pseudonymmed · 2022-12-04T16:56:41+00:00

It seems very much like a straight female version of the original redpill sub. A combo of self improvement, learning to say no to what you don’t want, and manipulation tactics to get what you want from the opposite sex. The main difference is men are more focused on getting sex from HVW and women are more focused on long term relationships with HVM.

Title	Bluepill and purplepill thoughts on FDS?
Author	AdmiralSP
Upvotes	0
Comments	66
Date	June 30, 2022 10:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/vo5fo8/bluepill_and_purplepill_thoughts_on_fds/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/bluepill-and-purplepill-thoughts-on-fds.1121978 https://theredarchive.com/post/1121978

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