Writing a prenup

ScaryHitchhikerStory · 2022-08-01T08:25:03+00:00

Prenups will have no influence on child support -- which is its own thing.

Trev6ft5 · 2022-08-01T09:13:28+00:00

Apparently allot lies on choosing a good lawyer who doesn't include things that can get the whole prenup thrownout. And doing it in such a way the wife can't say it was made under duress.

Apparently The Lead Attorney on YT is an ex US divorce lawyer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tVFje5q2icA

bonobosGoneBananas · 2022-08-01T07:48:54+00:00

I can tell you that a judge can throw out prenups for arbitrary reasons so don't rely on one

FiveMagicBeans · 2022-08-01T10:18:55+00:00

Do not under any circumstances attempt to write your own prenup.

If you're serious about having one created, retain the services of a lawyer that specializes in the field and bring up all of your concerns with them.

And you'll never escape child support unless you have full custody.

fwoomer · 2022-08-01T08:32:55+00:00

Basically, prenups are not worth the paper they’re printed on anymore than divorce orders are.

Marriage is exactly like drugs: just say no.

Seriously.

There is nothing in it for men. Avoid marriage and children at all cost. At least until government protects all parties equally, which will never happen in our lifetime.

If you have assets — and it sounds like you do — avoid marriage and children at ALL costs.

foreverstudent8 · 2022-08-01T09:35:15+00:00

Why would you get married? There’s nothing in it for you as the husband. Most guys only get married to make their wife happy. From the moment she accepts your proposal to the moment you’re in the courtroom during the divorce it’ll be all about her. You literally have nothing to gain except her happiness. If that weighs more than your own and your money, then by all means go for it. I know men that would give their wives the sun if they could to their own detriment, if you’re not one of them, then take marriage off the table.

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-08-01T10:16:30+00:00

Simple solution really….don’t get married. You can have everything you get in a marriage in a LTR, love, companionship, children, a house etc…all without signing up to her holding a gun to your head. I’ve always said that marriage gives women a free pass to behave badly so why give her that opportunity. By not marrying her she has to keep you interested in order to get your resources. She might complain but you have to stay strong and simply say “if you really want marriage then you will need to find that elsewhere as I’m not going to get married”. Then it’s her choice to leave or not.

Obviously make damn sure you’re not in a common law marriage state/country.

jasonrodrigue · 2022-08-01T12:18:50+00:00

Be very careful about her circle of influence and conscious of what’s she watches on the internet and tv and who her friends on and get a woman that hasn’t slept around. She is she acts negatively when you do things your way. Stress loyalty and family values. Never 100% trust she won’t leave you.

alpha_centauri997 · 2022-08-01T10:29:14+00:00

Just don't get married, it's not worth your time, your mental health and your finances. While being in relationship, you should be aware of who you're with in that relationship, it may look like it's nice and stuff like that, but when you marry that person, things change after you are officially married, I know a man who experienced this and he exactly faced the same problem, like your father, his wife left him with two children, he raised them on good people, all by himself. Personally, if I were you, I would end the relationship, it's not worth your time as well, but it is you who are in charge here, so make your decision wisely.

OrdinarySilver9256 · 2022-08-01T13:47:11+00:00

Ganymede, there are much better options then getting married. Firstly, get yourself a general council (lawyer).

You are going to have the lawyer draft a domestic partnership contract. Unlike marriage (check your local laws, hence the lawyer), domestic partnerships are business contracts for BOTH parties. Mine is about 160 pages long. It covers EVERY POSSIBLE THING we could think of. In the event of this... of that... etc. There is a stipulated path if a break up occurs. There is a stipulated path for everything. Then there is a clause that handles intent for everything not stipulated.

This is the only way to stop the cycle you witnessed. And either party can cancel the contract at anytime thereby enacting the terms of the breakup. She knows exactly what's in it for her if it ends. Nothing. Well not nothing per se. I enact these in 6 month terms for a new relationship. The first 6 months she gets nothing if she leaves. After the first 6 months we re-upped the contract. This time she gets a small compensation.

There is legal risk to any contract. But after much work with my lawyers, this seems to be the safest.

And good on you for seeing the damage caused by this behavior. Now dont find yourself in the same boat.

nameisahmad · 2022-08-01T13:49:40+00:00

Convert to islam and get married in a muslim country. We dont have that “taking half your shit” thing after divorce. If she even cheats on you and you divorce her she has to pay you back the money you gave her at the start.

She can’t divorce you for pathetic reasoning like “verbal arguments and mood swings”. Only you can divorce her. She can if you were an abuser…etc

ageggeuejrjdvcb · 2022-08-01T09:08:02+00:00

Don’t get married Don’t do LTR You are going to have to deal with kangaroo family courts God forbid - if you have a child -> think of child support and parental alienation

xcheshirecatxx · 2022-08-01T12:07:49+00:00

In some places prenups aren't even valid in general. In others, hard to apply

They can never remove child support as it's a right of the child and not of the other parent

I wish they would at least ask for proof of expenses

throwaway1119990 · 2022-08-01T13:47:18+00:00

Law student here. We lawyers are (sort of) forbidden from providing legal advice without proper research, but there is one thing I can say. HIRE AN ATTORNEY.

And DO NOT LET THE LAWYER CO-REPRESENT HER IN THE MATTER.

Please take my advice if at all possible. These laws can be nuanced in ways that are not obvious to lawyers, let alone lay people. I cannot urge you enough to hire an attorney for yourself and only yourself.

Chris_Hot · 2022-08-01T15:23:34+00:00

Listen for details about Elon Musk’s Mediation and Post Nup Separation of Property Agreement to learn why it has held up despite attacks from his first ex wife Justine’s lawyers. EDIT right video https://youtu.be/JF-KrSnixr4 15:33 details on the Post Nup, Mediation Confidentiality vs Marital Fiduciary Duty. EDIT2: Elon’s details: https://youtu.be/-IFO-ce7V3M

NotMyOnlyAccount11 · 2022-08-01T11:10:16+00:00

Pre-nups aren't usually worth the paper they are written on if you're not rich.

youcantdenythat · 2022-08-01T12:39:56+00:00

I went to a lawyer and got a prenup written up. In most states you can specify "what's I earn is mine and what she earns is hers" but some states don't follow that.

the nolo site has a ebook on it that goes into pretty good detail and even shows the laws for the different states. It was a good read but in the end, the lawyer did a better job of catching contingencies.

Inevitable_Brain9852 · 2022-08-01T15:13:09+00:00

Yes do a prenup. Now more than ever more marriages are failing, and with the influx of women marrying just for money if you don’t have a prenup she can take half of what you own.

Never marry a woman who isn’t okay with having a prenup. And if you do have a lawyer or witness present.

Oil_and_gas_RTOC · 2022-08-01T15:19:38+00:00

Here's a super easy answer but it starts with a question. Does she make more money than you, and I mean significantly more?

broadsharp · 2022-08-01T17:30:34+00:00

There is absolutely no prenup worth shit if it isnt written by a very experienced divorce attorney. And even then a judge can void it.

onlyidiotsgoonreddit · 2022-08-01T23:20:13+00:00

Prenups can help, but their protection is very limited. Custody is the biggest game piece, and it's not covered by prenups. You usually have to file first, to get custody.

You get more protection having all your assets completely hidden in a way she can never find them, and having her work full time, then you get from a prenup. A lot of people think if you already own something before you get married, it's protected, but it's not. If you own a house and then its value goes up 30% while married, she can demand you have to sell it to pay her 15% of its value. If she borrows money on credit cards and parties, you have to pay them back when she gets with a new guy.

There are some other trucks you should know before you get roped into something.

Njaulv · 2022-08-01T11:17:34+00:00

Dude, why on Earth would you get married? Judges can tear up a prenup if they want. Plenty of people thought they were safe when they were not and the prenups got thrown out and dismissed. If you are in love, you don't need to sign a government based contract for that. Have the ceremony, announce to the world you love each other, hell buy the wedding rings and all that. No need to make it a government sanctioned union.

JayMeadows · 2022-08-01T12:45:23+00:00

Nah, bro. Just wrap it up or get it snipped. If you're not sure about this girl, it's better to be safe than sorry.

As for the marriage thing; Women benefit the most out of it. I mean, the Wedding is practically Just about her. The Gifts, the Congratulations, the Pictures, the Cake, the Dance, maybe throw some Money in there from the Relatives. Everything is about her. I'm sure you love your girl and would want to make her happy, but her happiness ain't worth the trouble and sacrifice for Your Happiness.

nathanv70 · 2022-08-01T14:07:58+00:00

If she truly loves you, getting married at the church in front of god should be enough. You don’t need to confirm it with the state.

johnny_is_home · 2022-08-01T11:48:42+00:00

Step 1: Don't get married

Step 2: Don't get married

Step 3: Don't get married

Marriage is a horrible deal for men in the west. Just don't do it, period.

AnOddTree · 2022-08-01T14:16:41+00:00

I thought the prenup only covers property that is acquired before the marriage. If I ever get married I plan on having a prenup to say that my family home stays in my family and my partner's house stays in his. He lost his house when his ex wife divorced him and it was super traumatic. he's still trying to pick up the pieces. I think it's a big reason why he doesn't want to get married again and I completely understand.

gamerlololdude · 2022-08-01T11:15:11+00:00

Why are you thinking of marriage in the first place? You could be in a committed relationship without that. Marriage is just a contract between two people and the state. See it for what it is.

gooseOchka · 2022-08-01T12:39:32+00:00

if you do not trust your partner you should not marry them 🤷‍♂️

INTERNETCHECKS · 2022-08-01T15:01:32+00:00

Omg a prenup that’s so unromantic

May097 · 2022-08-01T12:14:54+00:00

Atleast you guys have prenups there.

kannolli · 2022-08-01T15:52:02+00:00

Your questions require more specifics. It seems like you have the money to consult an Attorney. Please don’t rely on any of these comments.

AdAcademic4290 · 2022-08-01T16:24:24+00:00

That's terrible. That was child abuse ( neglect). There are laws that deal with those issues.

ijustdontcare74 · 2022-08-01T16:30:06+00:00

This is a good story about prenups

https://youtu.be/x571ff6VSG8

Odd_Cryptographer492 · 2022-08-01T16:35:30+00:00

Don't get married then no needed for a prenup

ChadWolf98 · 2022-08-01T17:21:55+00:00

I understand you might have different views than me regarding marriage and the state ), but I am against marriage by principle.

One of the worst thing you can do in a private relationship, in 99% of the time is to involve the state. Its not your friend, its your overlord.

Fair warning: extended cohabitation can also lead to common law marrige, tho the rules are almost different on any part of Earth.

You dont need marriage. If the chick likes you she will be your long term gf forever. If she makes you marry her or she leaves she likes the financial/social advantqge more than you.

Last but not least nobody can make what life you want to live. Some are very happy with marriage. So disregard my comment at will

2022-08-01T18:01:18+00:00

Don't get married, you are already primed for it to end badly so just don't jump into that swamp. Keep yourself clean and if you want kids, then get a surrogate. If you do become a father get a DNA test 1 in 3 is fraud.

Protect yourself and your assets no woman is worth the pain they cause.

SipOfKoKo · 2022-08-01T18:40:40+00:00

Honestly, absolutely everyone should have a prenup. Man, woman, non-binary, etc.

Throwawaysei95 · 2022-08-01T19:16:11+00:00

Maybe consult with an actual lawyer instead of asking a bunch of people who will just tell you not to get married

WashYourSocks · 2022-08-01T19:16:38+00:00

It sounds like you’re dealing with unresolved childhood trauma. Your perception of marriage and relationships are probably screwed up too. Look into CPTSD and trauma therapy.

Worried-Principle580 · 2022-08-01T19:42:49+00:00

I feel like every American man should watch the movie Marriage Story before making the biggest mistake of their life. Horrible movie but massive red pill that needs taking.

McFeely_Smackup · 2022-08-01T19:51:21+00:00

you can include anything you want in a prenup, but the more one sided you make it, the more likely a judge in the future will rule it an "unconscionable agreement" and throw it out, leaving you with no agreement at all.

that's why wealthy men who know they are marrying gold diggers go in with a healthy buy out clause, they know it's gonna cost them X Million$, but they want the ceiling amount established.

this is why family law lawyers exist, they are experienced in the "art" of prenups.

I would urge you to consider though, knowing what you do that is causing you to ask this question, why would you get married at all? there's zero benefit to you, and only unlimited liability.

Zachisawinner · 2022-08-01T20:09:40+00:00

Oh no, it’s not too late. Do not get married. Do not have children. Avoid women at all costs.

JekobiWan · 2022-08-01T21:54:31+00:00

What a shit show sorry you’re dealing with this man

neighborhoodpainter · 2022-08-01T22:23:38+00:00

I heard a female lawyer say on tiktok once, the 3 types of women who divorce men the most are: Stay at home mothers, teachers, nurses.

TheSnesLord · 2022-08-01T23:44:36+00:00

I would also suggest that once you have the Prenuptial Agreement written, before the would-be wife signs it, I would also suggest that you have a doctor in the room to check her state and formally confirm legally on paper that she 100% is in a fit and healthy state and NOT coerced to sign and WHEN she actually signs it. The doctor also needs to see her sign it and have it confirmed legally on paper as well. If possible, have two doctors which are of different practices.

This is because I see many stories of guys who had prenups set up, then when in the divorce court, only for the Judge to dismiss and toss out the contract because the woman uses the excuse of "I wasn't in a fit state" or "I was not mentally ready" or "I was mentally not able" or "I was drunk" when signing the contract.

I even remember one story where the Judge tossed out a prenup because the wife used the excuse of she couldn't read English.

RecoveringCoomer · 2022-08-02T00:06:06+00:00

Prenups can be nulled for any reason, and generally, not worth the paper they are written on.

Generally speaking, you can't give the woman anything less with a prenup. Or it will be called "unfair" and nulled.

". A judge may find a prenup to be unconscionable if it states that one spouse will get to keep all marital assets, for example, leaving the other spouse with nothing and no right to an equitable division of property."

https://www.ratzerfamilylaw.com/2022/01/what-can-void-a-prenuptial-agreement.shtml#:~:text=A%20judge%20may%20find%20a,an%20equitable%20division%20of%20property.

I think a better way to manage property is to start a business and buy everything in the name of that business and sign contracts with her stating that business assets are not marital assets and will never be shared in a divorce.

It is much different to sue a LLC compared to a husband.

But I'm not a lawyer, it is best to discuss that kind of legal topics with a competent lawyer.

I have also heard some people writing their own relationship contracts using private arbitration, but again, I'm not sure if those can be enforced with current anti-male family courts.

https://www.net-arb.com/arbitration_uses/pre-divorce_post-divorce_separation_disputes.php

Always DYOR.

ZekalMacabre · 2022-08-02T00:48:35+00:00

Honestly, prenups don't mean that much. The idea is good, but they can very easily get thrown out.

Best thing to do is never to get married.

JustOussama · 2022-08-02T00:59:01+00:00

You haven't learned anything from your experience i guess.

Title	Writing a prenup
Author	Ganymede-001
Upvotes	347
Comments	138
Date	August 1, 2022 7:46 AM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/wdbhxi/writing_a_prenup/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/writing-a-prenup.1125686 https://theredarchive.com/post/1125686

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