Is it wrong to check and see if a girl gave me the right phone number?

mjornir · 2022-08-04T15:52:33+00:00

No need to ask, you find out when you text her. If you put her on the spot and try to confirm if it’s the right # you run a serious risk of making her uncomfortable and killing any interest she may have had in you. It’s not the most egregious offense but it will do you more harm than good.

I think you sound caught up on the ‘knowing whether she likes you or not part’ and it projects insecurity. Just set yourself up for opportunities and go from there, accept you have no control over the actual outcome

RealRussShackleford · 2022-08-04T17:28:25+00:00

I don’t really understand what embarrassment you’re concerned about? I mean if I meet Becky at the gym and I get her number and text her and someone’s like “wrong number” I just delete the number and move on. Why is that embarrassing?

Hysterical__Paroxysm · 2022-08-04T16:08:36+00:00

If a man "checked" to see if the number I gave him was correct by forcing me on the spot to accept a text or phone call, I would immediately block him and hurt his feelings regardless of my prior interest.

Magnito-was-right · 2022-08-04T18:14:58+00:00

Asking if the number is fake or calling it while I’m still in front of you would make me afraid of you because it would show how controlling you are.

ThatOtherGuyTPM · 2022-08-04T19:14:05+00:00

Okay, correct me if I’m wrong, but if your goal is to “avoid embarrassment,” wouldn’t this be literally the worst thing you could do? It’s forcing an unnecessary confrontation either way, which will always be embarrassing, and the best thing it could possibly do, the best possible outcome, is that you come out alone with nothing. Much more likely, it will have active negative ramifications for you.

Snoo52682 · 2022-08-04T19:23:45+00:00

Nope, that's terrifying. If she gave you a wrong number to get you to go away ... that means she's not interested, and for whatever reason does not feel comfortable expressing that directly. It is really that bad.

Naus1987 · 2022-08-04T21:16:42+00:00

The way your friend freaked out on her is why women don’t feel safe being honest.

If a woman gave me the wrong number it would mean we’re not compatible, and move on. I don’t get why people always try to fight these losing battles. As if being mad is going to convince her to give them another chance, lol.

ShitFacedSteve · 2022-08-04T20:24:15+00:00

This would come off as insecure, possessive, and controlling. I think it’s fine to send her a short introductory text like “hey this is so and so” but only after you leave.

Asking her to confirm it right then and there would be a red flag and would probably make her concerned that you’re an overbearing or even dangerous person.

And If you’re approaching strangers I’d advise you not ask for her number but just give her your number and then don’t linger for too long. This puts the onus on her, she can choose to engage or not, it makes a potentially awkward and anxious situation as quick and painless for her as possible, it shows you respect her space and privacy, and allows her the most control of the situation. She likely won’t be interested regardless in this situation because people don’t typically meet as strangers on the street, BUT allowing her to have space and privacy will at least communicate you have some level of respect for her autonomy and if she’s into you she might actually text you.

HappleApple · 2022-08-05T00:55:29+00:00

I’ve given my number to people before -not just guys - and a few times they would type the number in their phone on the spot and say they were shooting me a text to say who it was so I’d have their number too. It doesn’t really seem creepy if done that way.

vcreativ · 2022-08-04T20:30:58+00:00

Why even check? The possible outcomes don't change, either you get a response, or you don't.

I think good advice is to not get too excited with any remote anything (including anything online) unless you've actually met someone, and are en route to do so again. It's ok to be a little excited, but you'll only ever find out later anyway.

Maybe it's a little insecure, but there's nothing embarrassing about it. It's just who you are right now. Figure out why that is, look at what beliefs and memories lie at their root and address them by going inward.

That's how you resolve insecurities, not by pretending they're not there, by faking to be someone you're not.

I cannot fathom why a friend of yours would react with a tirade to a moment of weakness in you. I don't like him.

liisathorir · 2022-08-04T22:30:28+00:00

If someone gives you a wrong number it’s for a reason. It’s difficult to hear but it’s the truth. The best way to avoid this is to tell them your number and just forget about it. If they message you, fantastic, if they don’t, no worries. This way there is no embarrassment.

Comfortable-Toe-7870 · 2022-08-04T23:15:10+00:00

It’s very weird and creepy. Guess what? Men are statistically a danger to women. Maybe you’re not a freak that acts out when they get rejected but many men are. Women don’t play this disingenuous game for fun we have to lie because men are dangerous to women !

JSBelle · 2022-08-04T20:41:30+00:00

A woman

fuzzy_bunnyx · 2022-08-05T08:00:48+00:00

There are a lot of batshit crazy responses. If you're flirting with a woman and ask for her number, I consider it a courtesy to give her a ring on the spot, so she can get your number as well.

She has every right to be embaresed if she plays games or doesn't have the ovaries to say no.

2022-08-05T02:11:06+00:00

Wanting to verify her number makes you look like an insecure, misogynistic, controlling abuser. I’m just playing lmaoo

BUT here’s a way to verify that the number she gave you was real without coming off as weird. So once you get her #, you should send a quick text (in front of her) saying “Hey, it’s John from the mall”. Tell her that you’ll hit her up later and that you just sent the text so she’ll remember who you were and you don’t want to come off as some random dude.

Now if you hear her notifications go off then you’re straight. But if you’re still wondering, you could just ask her if she got your text because your signal is weak in the area.

Champ_Slice · 2022-08-04T23:08:59+00:00

Best way to do this is to play dumb and read the number back to her incorrectly. If she confirms the wrong number than you know she isn’t interested.

feistykalorina · 2022-08-05T22:35:58+00:00

You will come off as predatory and creepy if you try to check

Vampsgold · 2022-08-06T10:39:06+00:00

Women are so used to aggression from men when they even VERY politely say they’re not interested and THIS is why fake numbers are given out.

It allows you to get away from the guy safely and also doesn’t allow him to have your contact details.

When you check the number infront of someone, you’re showing her you don’t trust her. You’ll also make her feel like other girls must have given you the wrong number too if you’re at the point of checking and then she’ll wonder if that’s a red flag.

Trust me, from a female perspective, it’s all about safety and trying to avoid male aggression or even pushiness. The amount of times I’ve said no very kindly and the guy had pushed and pushed and badgered me, I just can’t tell you and then if you have to get firmer with saying no yet again, the guy can start swearing, yelling, get physically threatening and in your face and all just because you tried saying no nicely but he didn’t listen.

I’m married now but I got to the point that I used to just lie and say I had a boyfriend who was on his way to meet me. It usually was the only thing that worked sadly. Then if there was a guy that I liked, he would then think I had a boyfriend already. Us women deal with a lot of safety issues while dating that men just don’t think of.

2022-08-06T13:14:04+00:00

Advice: Offer her your number and say she can message you any time.

Title	Is it wrong to check and see if a girl gave me the right phone number?
Author	Zealousideal_Heart36
Upvotes	15
Comments	48
Date	August 4, 2022 3:46 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/wg4jeu/is_it_wrong_to_check_and_see_if_a_girl_gave_me/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-it-wrong-to-check-and-see-if-a-girl-gave-me-the.1126287 https://theredarchive.com/post/1126287

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