The pros and cons of being a pick-me

Perseus_the_Bold · 2022-08-17T19:01:25+00:00

A pick-me is not a "yes man."

A Pick-me is a female simp.

Simps and Pick-mes are two separate things because each sex behaves differently when they are kissing the other's ass.

havemorefunonreddit · 2022-08-17T17:17:56+00:00

I was a pickme in the sense that I submitted myself to horrible sex with ugly men that did nothing for me while I could have been having sex with hotter men if I wanted or I could have been staying alone and not having sex which would have been way better too. There was no positive and the men never pick up on it because they can't imagine that someone would submit themselves to something that isn't pleasurable for them just to be nice. It's hard to explain why I even do that. These men would pickme even if I was a bitch because they are ugly and poor, so why do I go so extra to try to be a nice girlfriend who is a cool girl who "likes sex" and never turns them down? It's probably just a personality issue, like that desire to please other people and have them think positively of you, perfectionism. I didn't put down other women though, but maybe inside my head I think women who don't put out fake-enthusiastically for ugly losers are lame and not doing enough. I kind of have this complex where like I want every poor little orphan to get treated like the greatest king otherwise it breaks my heart.

sarkington · 2022-08-17T16:47:10+00:00

I used to be “not like other girls”, which is a subgroup of pickmes, probably due to my family and in particular my male family. They were both misogynist (femininity is weak and inferior) and misandrist (men are sociopathic exploitive predators)

I’m sure if I was currently 12 or 13 I would be non-binary or non-gender conforming, because gender roles suck/I suck at gender roles

wtknight · 2022-08-17T17:06:51+00:00

Both myself (my first marriage) and my wife (my second marriage) have pulled it off successfully. It mostly took the form of pretending to be interested in a hobby that the other person was interested in while actually not having a real interest in that hobby.

2022-08-17T17:24:07+00:00

Everyone goes through a "I'm different" stage. The Dorchester are the people who never grow out of it.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-08-17T17:07:15+00:00

Gender traitorism; cucks are the male version of female pickmes.

Basically sacrifice all happiness of your own for maximum happiness for your partner (or perceived happiness).

Weirdly PPD attracts fringe types and these gender traitors are more common here than you would find in the wild.

I would say that being submissive is a big part of cuck/pickme behavior and thus more women will naturally be pickmes than men will be cucks. I also believe far more women on PPD are pickmes then the number who will admit it.

PuppyDontCare · 2022-08-17T20:08:34+00:00

When I was an adolescent I used to listen to heavy metal which made all guys say "oh! you are not like other girls" I honestly hated it because I wanted to be like other girls but I never questioned it out loud.

So by shutting up I used it to my advantage

januaryphilosopher · 2022-08-17T22:06:33+00:00

I've pretty much always been "one of the boys". This is because my personality and interests are more stereotypically masculine. I have no interest in pandering to men and I'm sure I could do that more effectively by acting more feminine, which would mean becoming an actual "pick me" by changing myself to be picked.

vivvienne · 2022-08-17T17:56:34+00:00

A proper successful pick me strategy is normal dating where women put in effort for men as well. Women will call women pick me's because they're upset someone is breaking imaginary rules, usually in the form of "sell what you have but don't say it's because you have more of it than me." Alls fair in love and war. The rules of supply and demand still apply, and it's incredibly naive to think people won't virtue signal out of one side of their mouth while breaking their own "rules" and backstabbing you when the stakes are too good from the other. People do not have the integrity they pretend they have. It's about as childish as calling dibs on a person.

I've been called a pick me or some such plenty of times but really I never did anything particularly egregious and wound up with a normal dating experience and married a guy people are envious of me for. I looked at the landscape and figured since women felt being the one to make the first move is beneath them I would just be playing the market by doing the opposite. I had so many good choices because men were astonished a woman would express interest in them as a human being.

I was watching a show where a drop dead beautiful brunette was vying for the same hot guy as this other blonde. The brunette was in the military and bragged about her tomboyish accomplishments. During the show the blonde repeatedly tries to interfere with their relationship in despicable ways that are revealed at the end. She got a lot of hate for it but decided to make a heartfelt apology for her behavior. The brunette was not ready to forgive her, and the audience of the show turned on her and started calling her a pick me. The only behavior they could cite as 'wrong' was the fact she bragged about her male hobbies as a way to make other women feel bad about themselves along with some cringey pda. Except she didn't say she was better than other women for having male hobbies. People simply didn't believe she could have an interest in such hobbies unless it was made up for pick me points. I'm sure women go through basic training for the sake of male attention and not because she wants to learn to drive a tank. Meanwhile Blondie who actually went out of her way to disrespect their relationship is a poor baby with no pick me behavior apparently. Because she apologized, and had the appearance of a stereotypical woman her pattern of manipulation was quickly forgotten, but the brunette got the man. I only use this as an example of rhetoric outside of the pill debates as innocuous comments show where people's biases truly lie.

Ways that pick me's fail...ones who chase men as a way to validate their self worth. They become serial cheaters and target taken men for the ego boost. Even when they are in a relationship the validation of their partner is not enough so they're always looking for greener pastures. In the end these people can't commit and fall down a hole of perpetual pump and dumps. There are lots of flavors for women like that.

Wanting to be pleasing for a relationship is not out of the norm or a crime. It's kind of the point.

bubble_gummmmm · 2022-08-17T18:08:39+00:00

The thing is that man can actually feel attraction to pickmes so as long as she have some basic bondaires she will be just fine and just(or even more) attractive as the other types of woman. IOH woman probably dont even respect the male version of that(simp). Being meak, lacking confidence and weak frame is a great combo to turn woman off.

supershotmd · 2022-08-17T17:15:01+00:00

Pick meishas are the worst

upalse · 2022-08-17T17:03:51+00:00

In my experience, pick-me's get stuck in this vicious cycle of

not be like the "others" >>come off as too much >> not get the desired outcome >>>> more aggression towards the "others">>> try harder rinse an repeat

This makes them even more isolated an insufferable because they're so hard to be around.

I used to be a pick-me as a teenager. I thought the more different I could present, the more value I would have to men because girls are all shallow and stupid lol. A shit tonne of internalised misogyny solving later I really don't care. People are way too diverse o be put into boxes...which people in this sub do all the time haha.

Stop_Maximum · 2022-08-17T18:51:30+00:00

I grew up around guys, but thankfully I was never a pick me. I did have a bit of confused thoughts but I blame the fact that I only had incoming inputs from one gender, not the other as much. I actually voice my opinion a lot now. I think being a pick me is not beneficial and doesn’t guarantee anything, just the person being bitter and try to prove their worth everyday.

no-304s · 2022-08-17T16:53:31+00:00

Male feminists more often than not end up being creepy and predatory, like Harvey Weinstein.

upalse · 2022-08-17T19:04:38+00:00

Pickmes and niceguys are essentially covert narcissism. Sooner or later they explode into a ball of drama when they're not given the object of their desire in return for them "being nice".

rurunoa · 2022-08-17T17:42:21+00:00

i have a pick me friend. unfortunately it didn’t work out for her at all and she chased 4 years after a guy (ONLINE, mind you) while he was using her for nudes and e sex (he admitted it) and then she spent nights crying for many months and also felt entitled to his commitment because of it and absolutely deluded herself into thinking that it was all entirely his fault (the commitment part NOT THE GROOMING PART because thats 1000% his fault) because he asked her for nudes without loving her. It doesn’t help that the guy repeatedly told her like way beforehand he does not love her. he also lives on the other side of the world, they have never met a single time and when they were first friends he was 16 and she was 12!!!! he ended up cutting her off only like 2 months ago or something. his dick pics are on reddit too😭 my friend is still a minor btw

WaffleBurner96 · 2022-08-18T13:14:16+00:00

People have called me a pick-me. I don’t care, cuz I married a wonderful, sexy, and wealthy man and I’m happy AF.

AutoModerator · 2022-08-17T16:29:10+00:00

Attention!

You can post off topic/jokes/puns as a comment to this Automoderator message.
For "CMV" and "Question for X" Threads: Parent comments that aren't from the target group will be removed, along with their child replies.
If you want to agree with OP instead of challenging their view or if the question is not targeted at you, post it as an answer to this comment.
OP you can choose your own flair according to these guidelines., just press Flair under your post!

Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

toasterchild · 2022-08-17T16:57:15+00:00

What is the "most desired outcome"?

Sure they can probably nail down someone to marry or have sex with.

I personally find self improvement to be the ultimate goal so in that case no, they will always lose.

UniverseCatalyzed · 2022-08-17T17:47:41+00:00

Good examples are male feminists and girls who identify as just "one of the boys".

You really think it's impossible or even rare for a man to agree with feminist ideology (or a woman to like doing "masculine" activities with guys) without having some sort of ulterior motive to curry favor with the opposite sex?

social_mule · 2022-08-17T21:06:04+00:00

In your experience, have you ever seen anyone pull off the pick-me strategy and get the most desired outcome?

No.

Have you ever called anyone out for being a pick-me?

Yes.

Are you a pick-me?

No.

Express-Fig-5168 · 2022-08-17T21:56:57+00:00

Pro: Highly likely to get chosen by some guy. Con: You will burn out fast and develop strong hatred, probably depression too, feeling stuck and hopeless.

I have not seen anyone pull it off long term, they always lose the person because they begin to hate how they neglect themselves and project that on their partner.

I don't ever call anyone a pickme because it is misused a lot and I rather point out they're being a doormat and that isn't healthy long term.

Am I a pickme? No, I am not a doormat for men.

Cibfbfin · 2022-08-17T22:23:46+00:00

If they get a man who gives a shit at the end? Like realistically same with the male feminist. If it stupid but it works. It’s not stupid.

DisasterPeace7 · 2022-08-17T22:37:18+00:00

Real men need to keep masculinity a little more, the male feminist is one of the most vile creatures our planet has to offer and needs to be treated like the sub human he is lol

Title	The pros and cons of being a pick-me
Author	Rapskallion_Pancake
Upvotes	29
Comments	100
Date	August 17, 2022 4:29 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/wqtejg/the_pros_and_cons_of_being_a_pickme/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/the-pros-and-cons-of-being-a-pick-me.1128096 https://theredarchive.com/post/1128096

Comments