Ex's BF of 1 year wants to be included in group chat

TheBoyBand · 2022-08-29T01:25:54+00:00

NOPE. Well in my case at least. Well actually not even theres no group chat. These insufferable AP’s though lmao.

HelicopterMekanik · 2022-08-29T01:32:17+00:00

My ex’s BF of a year wants to be included in the group chat with myself, my wife and boy’s mother. I am the boy’s father and have primary custody. We have politely told my ex we do not feel he needs to be included and have even suggested we could even revisit at a later time. After stating we did not want him included in the group chat, my ex then added him to the chat anyway without any other response. We then reiterated our original decision to wait and possibly revisit later, but then received a long text from the BF directly introducing himself directly and him stating he’s not planning on going anywhere but wants to be included. Am I crazy for thinking this is a bit odd? The main concern is he does not provide any financial support for these kids and the ex has been jumping between different men for years.

dkblue1 · 2022-08-29T03:51:43+00:00

Kanye, is that you? Tell Pete to gtfo

Character_Hippo90 · 2022-08-29T02:52:20+00:00

Just delete the entire chat and initiate a new one with only those of merit. You may have to do this several times until they get the message.

San_Ra · 2022-08-29T04:06:42+00:00

jalopkoala · 2022-08-29T11:38:07+00:00

I think logically if your wife is in the chat then you’ve lost a bit of reason to argue against her partner being in the chat. You could go back to just you and ex. How and why did you end up with a three person chat to begin with?

While I would never want a group chat, I will say this about my sister who has a four-person group chat going with her ex and the new partners: Her ex-husbands new wife being in the chat keeps the ex-husband from being an asshole. He has to keep up appearances and that makes it easier on my sister.

Knave7575 · 2022-08-29T04:44:43+00:00

If your wife is included, then the standard seems to be “partners of parents and parents”.

Sounds like BF should be included, or your wife excluded.

Apprehensive_Walk_48 · 2022-08-29T15:18:47+00:00

A lot of idiots responding in here. Sorry on their behalf.

Yes it's weird that he wants to be in the chat. The chat is clearly just for your family, which he is not a part of. Your wife, who is your kid's stepmother is clearly a part of the family and is in no way an arguable addition to the chat. She is one of the parents, which makes complete sense.

Stand your ground and just don't include him from the chat about your family. He just dating, he's not one of the parents. There is no reason for him to be included in that kind of stuff at all. And he needs to respect that.

deuceice · 2022-08-29T06:08:38+00:00

Tell them to get married, then sure... Why not?

capacioushandbag · 2022-08-29T14:56:16+00:00

I'm assuming this group chat is to coordinate logistics with the other adults responsible for your child. I do think there is a difference between your wife and the BF. I think the BF is trying to "step up" and your wife is trying to take steps to be more stable. I wouldn't want someone who might be temporary involved in private details of my child's life, but since this guy is probably privy to those details via your ex, you might as well add him and give him a chance. I would be just as annoyed and indignant and I do see the difference between your wife being involved and this doofus but it is what it is.

bluestang65 · 2022-08-29T17:53:06+00:00

I would include him until you don’t need to. If he is annoying or controlling you jus stay sorry it didn’t work out. It looks controlling and punitive for you not to include someone who is vested in the child’s best interest. Plus the more you know about him the better in case you have to dispose of his body for hurting your kid. (Kidding of course)

You can always use another chat if there’s something you want him out of but speaking frankly; there’s probably stuff she has to relay to him that is frustrating for both of them.

I always say make it easy for other people to do their part because your kids sense the tension. They know when you’re working toward their best interest or planting flags and waving your authority around.

Title	Ex's BF of 1 year wants to be included in group chat
Author	HelicopterMekanik
Upvotes	3
Comments	28
Date	August 29, 2022 1:24 AM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/x0brus/exs_bf_of_1_year_wants_to_be_included_in_group/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/exs-bf-of-1-year-wants-to-be-included-in-group.1130931 https://theredarchive.com/post/1130931

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