Listen, I am speaking anecdotally.

A lot of the women who are within my inner social, who are for the most part in their mid 20's to early 30s has all shared and experienced a bad time on dating apps. they have been on there for > 1 year. The idea that women have it easier on there and can find any guy is quite absurd. They need to vet out the creeps and potential stalkers/serial killers. a lot of them would just go on coffee dates and then within second /by end of night will know whether they want to continue it or not from the vibe alone. And usually first dates aren't a good indication of fully knowing a person.

From talking to them, All of them seems to want someone empathetic, ambitious, caring, loyal, the rest of it.

you can argue that what they say they want doesn't align with what they actually want, and you are right. (eg. there are some guys who are I believe are "good guys" within the circle that some of these women would pass on ("the can be my brother"- their words.

HOWEVER, when I ask them any guys they see potential with they would name a few and almost all of them I would considered AVERAGE and def wouldn't fit the conventional good looking guy.

What I learned is that women and people by and large will always prefer to meet someone they already have some sort of comfort with and other people know. You don't have to be the colorful crayon in the box as far as looks go, but if you're an average guy struggling, just present yourself in the best way possible, act normal, be social and just let your personality shine through.

Most people paint women as shallow, and yes, they are (but this is not gender specific), but this is only shown on the interweb. In real life human just want to know another human, how they become who they are, what they are about and how they live their lives.

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Go out and meet people.