What are the benefits of a marriage that you cannot get outside of a romantic relationship as a man in the US?

NibblyPig · 2023-01-30T18:53:40+00:00

I'm guessing tax breaks, but you could view that as an insurance payment for not getting absolutely dicked on by divorce

darkskies1094trump · 2023-01-30T19:52:27+00:00

Society tends to believe that single childless men are immature, untrustworthy, expendable, aggressive, and/or violent.

When I was single, I had supervisors who were like "We're giving you the overnight shifts because the other employees have spouses and/or children." For a 4yr period I worked every single overnight shift by myself so that the guy who's wife was in college classes and the single mom with 3 kids wouldnt have to.

When I complained that I was working on commercial/ industrial grade electrical equipment by myself (big safety no-no) They found a kid with CPR training who was in trouble to come in and follow me around in case I electrocuted myself. Otherwise he was totally unqualified to do anything and wasnt even my careerfield. I was still doing all the work by myself, but at least I wasnt violating electrical 2 man rules anymore.

toss6611 · 2023-01-30T19:41:57+00:00

The largest one(s) are Social Security and Medicare:

Married people get 1/2 of their spouses Social Security, even if they never worked or contributed.
Married people get the higher of either their Social Security of their spouses when one of them dies.
Medicare requires 10 years of work, unless you are married to someone that qualifies, then you instantly qualify.
All of the above comes with benefits even if you divorce, as long as you were married for 10 years (same qualifying period as working).

Everything else I can find, you can create via a legal document that also allows you to revoke without consent of the other party.

SnooGiraffes449 · 2023-01-30T19:56:52+00:00

Visa??

Diesel-66 · 2023-01-30T18:56:23+00:00

Simpler and tax free preprobate Legal transfers of property, retirement accounts. Insurance.

Much simpler to divorce versus splitting up mutual property and children

WhereProgressIsMade · 2023-01-30T20:02:48+00:00

There's lots of studies correlating kids' outcomes with growing up in stable, two-parent homes. So it might worth considering for a guy that really put a lot of emphasis on having kids and maximizing their chances of turning out well. Maybe.

RemCogito · 2023-01-30T23:19:32+00:00

I live in Canada, not the US. our laws are a little bit different, but similar, and so are our cultures, So I'm not sure how much of this will apply to you.

But my non-working wife saves me around 10k per year, between taxes, and various benefits. before we were married, she saved me around 5k per year, as we could still jointly filed our taxes. Having a second person, with no extra income, means that we qualify for many things that I would never qualify for as a single man. Our Car, home, and life insurance premiums went down after marriage.

But She costs around 12-15k per year to keep around before accounting for those "savings". So it isn't like that's the reason why we did it.

The reason why I married her, is because she is going to be the mother of my children and she is the person I trust to enforce my living will. My mother will not be able to keep me as a vegetable if something like that ever happens.

My wife, cooks and cleans and handles the mental load of the household. She handles most of our errands, and is the one who keeps our social calendar happy. There's also the fact that legally she would be entitled to argue in court for marriage benefits including alimony given how long we have been together, regardless of whether we made it official, and even more so with children.

Not getting married isn't good enough protection, if she lives and depends on you for a long enough timeframe depending on your jurisdiction she might be entitled to it anyways.

Other than that, most of the benefits of marriage are social. My grandmother treats her with more respect. Her grandmother has decided to include her in the will as the only grandchild to "have her life together". (which might mean around $100k to us in a few years.) older women treat her more like an adult, and younger women are always asking her how she pulled it off.

There is less resistance when we go out together, and I order for her. People generally accept me speaking on her behalf more readily now that we're married. People will listen to her, when she asks for something on my behalf. Her last name matching mine on her license means that we don't get as much hassle if we're pulled over driving each other's vehicles.

People treat you better when you are married. Most of the improved treatment is a benefit for her not you. The only big change I noticed for myself is More annoying than good. Women become much more forward when trying to give signals to a married man.

Luckily, My wife doesn't blame me for it. There is very little reason for a man to get married in today's age.

ReniaTycoon · 2023-01-30T23:20:31+00:00

Nothing at all. There is no benefit for a man to get married in western nations legally. She will always have more rights in divorce unless extreme evidence paints her character in bad light. I guess the only benefit is if she was actually a decent loyal woman but that's a rare scenario.

NameIs-Already-Taken · 2023-01-30T20:37:27+00:00

I _now_ know of 4 reasons for a man to marry a woman who is willing to live with him:

a. Religion, either his, hers or her family's,

b. To get a visa for one of them,

c. If they are part of something like the military which sets rules on these things,

d. In some jurisdictions, wives cannot be compelled to testify against their husbands.

But generally, the divorce laws and the practice of the courts mean marriage is financially dangerous for me.

ChevronSevenDeferred · 2023-01-30T19:47:56+00:00

In addition to tax breaks, you can own your home as tenants by the entirities, which shields it from lawsuits and collections. You're also much more eligible for joint health insurance (some plans allow for long term partners to be covered but a lot do not).

As for the cons of marriage- get a prenup done by an attorney. Yes, you can limit or have no alimony obligations in a prenup.

aerial_coitus · 2023-01-30T19:38:12+00:00

benefits of marriage: none

next question

hotpotato138 · 2023-01-30T18:54:34+00:00

Lower taxes?

elebrin · 2023-01-30T20:29:21+00:00

The big one for me is legal power in the case of a health crisis.

I mentioned this because of my father. He laid dead in a hospital bed hooked up to a heart lung machine for three weeks before my Mom could get them to pull the plug. I mention this because of my grandfather, who before he passed had lost the ability to speak and communicate effectively because of a brain tumor. I say this because of an uncle of mine - my aunt was able to have him looked after properly when he came back from Vietnam fucked up and he was unable to advocate for himself.

Essentially, you can get married to someone you trust, or you can explicitly spell out exactly what you want in every circumstance then sign that power over to an attorney. You don't get that with a girlfriend.

If I didn't marry my wife, my will would have been executed by someone who has zero capacity to handle executing a will. My wife does.

Socially speaking, there are some things that it's appropriate to invite my wife to (work social functions) that it isn't appropriate to invite a girlfriend to - even a long term one. I can tell my employer that my wife will be traveling with me and it's non-negotiable when I travel domestically for work, and they are actually 100% OK with that. In fact, they are letting me comp her food (even though we always bring our own).

When invited to social functions in general, it's very bad form to not invite someone's wife but it's more acceptable to not invite a girlfriend - even a long term one. I dislike those sorts of gatherings and generally don't attend them, but every now and then you don't have a choice. My wife comes with me and I always have someone to talk to without having to interact with people I don't want to.

Being married and having a family makes it less likely that you will stall out in your career. If you have six people who are on equal footing for a promotion that only comes up once a decade, the guy who is married and has kids needs it more and is more likely to get the nod for that reason.

If you want children and you are married to the mother of your children, you will get to live with them and actually be in their lives every day of the week. Even if you cohabitate, it's far easier for you to be thrown out of their lives if you are not married.

If you have a more traditional family, that family is far more likely to respect your marriage than your girlfriend. Your wife can now come first in your life, rather than the needs of your parents or siblings.

NootNootMFer · 2023-01-31T01:06:42+00:00

Benefits that outweigh the cons?

Objectively speaking, nothing. It's a huge risk with nearly no reward.

However, if you're with a woman you trust and love that dreams of marriage and wants to marry you, I say it's worth it. I say this as a married man.

EvidencePlz · 2023-01-31T08:05:29+00:00

None

Numerous_Sentence_61 · 2023-01-30T22:54:47+00:00

Marriage isn't worth it anymore. Everything is stacked against the men.

Zestyclose_Ad2224 · 2023-01-31T01:16:33+00:00

Nothing.

7SM · 2023-01-31T02:36:15+00:00

There are none dude. Its cheaper and easier to just fly to thailand 2x a year.

AnonymouslyFlustered · 2023-01-30T21:02:40+00:00

In the USA??? Unless she was very wealthy and you weren’t, I would say none. It’s not worth it it’s just not worth it.

63daddy · 2023-01-30T20:59:06+00:00

What benefits there are and whether these benefits outweigh the disadvantage are two very different questions, the latter will be somewhat situational, but for me, the benefits clearly would not outweigh the downsides.

Many of the potential entitlement benefits would be much more likely to benefit any spouse than me since the odds are I earned more and won’t live as long. Any potential entitlement benefits and tax advantages don’t come anywhere close to balancing the risk of what I have to lose.

I think the biggest argument for marriage is if you really want kids.

Shuddemell666 · 2023-01-30T20:25:57+00:00

Sadly, there are none.

MrDirk420 · 2023-01-30T20:54:13+00:00

Nothing. It’s a con!

NHS_24 · 2023-01-30T22:08:45+00:00

Short Answer:- Marriage has no advantages in modern Soyciety, regardless of where you live.

McFeely_Smackup · 2023-01-30T22:25:14+00:00

There's very, very few benefits a man gets with marriage that he doesn't have available without it. You can literally do all the same things as a married couple, just without the liability.

INTERNETCHECKS · 2023-01-31T08:43:43+00:00

For love 😏

XLuccaX · 2023-01-31T13:13:49+00:00

You can get married, just don’t do it on paper. Have a small private marriage

Annual_Maximum9272 · 2023-01-31T05:12:44+00:00

It’s probably better for if you have kids. Horrible choice as a man. But If I planned on having kids I would get married.

I know there are a lot of successful unmarried couples with kids. But I think in the aggregate it’s better to be married and stable.

B_P_G · 2023-01-31T05:25:32+00:00

There really aren't any. Even if you want to have kids if you can get past the "out of wedlock" stigma then you're better off not marrying her. I mean then the only financial risk is child support (which you still have if you're married) but if you marry her then you're also putting half your assets at risk plus potential alimony. Before no-fault divorce laws marriage gave you some degree of stability but those days are long gone.

stupid_pretty · 2023-01-31T06:22:58+00:00

Clout? It's sounds better, more mature saying "my husband/wife" than "my boyfriend/girlfriend".

No-Recognition-4033 · 2023-01-31T06:51:12+00:00

Extra tax claims, but alot of people don't use them anyway.

heyyy-kiddo · 2023-01-31T09:00:29+00:00

None really. Even outside US there is actually zero concrete benefit. Maybe less money spent on drafting home ownership docs jointly,but you really have zero disadvantages.

Even if you cohabitate,in some countries is like getting legally maried because you lived with a woman some time,so read up about it before moving in with your girlfriend.

Also tax breaks are minimal. Everything is a small cost vs divorce and alimony +>50% of your worth at that time.

SpikedApe · 2023-01-31T09:32:56+00:00

Non... 5he tax thing is not wirth the risk of divorce

CardiologistLow8371 · 2023-01-31T11:29:33+00:00

You can talk about legal/tax benefits, but really the main benefit is that it's harder to break up, therefore your kids have a better chance of growing up in a 2 parent household.

jokerfriend6 · 2023-01-31T16:00:38+00:00

The benefit is getting things done or if the spouse dies, the living spouse gets rights in most states. If your not married you have no say unless the other person have given POA, and Medical POA ahead of time. Also if your relationship ends you have no right to their estate.

funkchucker · 2023-01-31T16:22:24+00:00

Taxes, retention of resources if your wife dies, someone you trust that is able to make medical decisions if you find yourself unable to make them yourself. Being allowed to visit your loved one in the hospital in family only situations.

throwaway3569387340 · 2023-01-31T22:09:04+00:00

None.

5% of all marriages end because men walk away. 45% of all marriages end because the woman walks away. That's a 9:1 ratio. You're better off as a man putting half your 401K on the blackjack table.

evilnaughtydang · 2023-02-01T02:50:22+00:00

Honestly...even here in the UK....nothing...maybe a small tax break for married couples??

Apart from that.. dunno

Title	What are the benefits of a marriage that you cannot get outside of a romantic relationship as a man in the US?
Author	FierceSTEAK
Upvotes	60
Comments	66
Date	January 30, 2023 6:51 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/10paldx/what_are_the_benefits_of_a_marriage_that_you/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/what-are-the-benefits-of-a-marriage-that-you.1150668 https://theredarchive.com/post/1150668

Comments