An average woman and her MensRights man...

Canadianelite · 2013-07-13T23:53:03+00:00

Your fiancé is not an MRA, and by the sounds of it, he shouldn't even have a girlfriend.

PoliticalCry · 2013-07-13T21:11:30+00:00

"Women are bad at leading and being in a position of authority because of their hormones... I mean c'mon, you're like crazy 7 days of every month..."

"women are just bad bosses, they're so shrill."

These are not Men's Rights positions. I would find them very sexist. Men are not better than women, nor are they worse. We are looking for equality.

Silgrenus · 2013-07-13T21:47:25+00:00

Misogyny, which is what he's spouting, is not what the MRM stands for. He's using this as a cover for his misogyny.

2013-07-13T21:20:50+00:00

Sounds more like a douche than an MRA. Don't go blaming us for your selection in men.

RogueWedge · 2013-07-13T23:24:59+00:00

He's being a idiot. Seriously look around and see if he's still the one.

redditsuckass · 2013-07-13T21:52:33+00:00

Do yourself/him a favor and break it off. It seems that you lack communication, and yes, his ideas are unfounded and not based on the MRM.

2013-07-14T04:10:08+00:00

"Women are bad at leading and being in a position of authority because of their hormones... I mean c'mon, you're like crazy 7 days of every month..."

This is legitimate bigotry right here. Any reasonable person on this subreddit would tell him to fuck off.

Tell him, if you agree with this of course, that it's ok to be interested in Men's Rights Activism, but that you don't want to hear about it. More specifically, tell him if he ever makes statements like "Women are bad x because hormones", then he should take a long look at what he thinks "sexism" is, because he is a fucking sexist.

mjs726 · 2013-07-13T21:53:25+00:00

Thank you MRA's for once again proving to me why I should (and do) continue to support this movement.

Bohica69 · 2013-07-14T01:11:34+00:00

What is he, 17 years old?

catfingers64 · 2013-07-14T01:35:06+00:00

I agree with the other comments here.

His statements are NOT what we are standing for.

A relationship advice (nothing to do with mensrights):

When people start attacking their partner with stupid bullshit like your fiancé does, it often is because he is pissed off about a completely different thing. Something he doesn't want to talk about.

I would seriously consider thinking about this.

ExpendableOne · 2013-07-14T00:35:49+00:00

If you don't like what he says, prove him wrong properly with your own counter arguments. If you don't want to argue? Don't argue and tell him you're not interested in getting into constant arguments or discussing politics. Either way, supporting feminist and misandry, just out of spite, really isn't any better and it certainly isn't going to help you or your relationship(s). Communication is important, you should hear what he has to say and he should hear what you have to say, without resorting to petty shit. If you can't fix the problem than consider going on your own.

MS2point0 · 2013-07-14T04:43:53+00:00

Your fiancé is crazy and sexist. If he doesn't clean up his act, it might be time to break it up with him. I'm not sure where he even got that crap from about hormones and whatnot. I've never seen anything like that on this subreddit (I wouldn't mind links to it if someone finds it, thank you). Also, do you think it would be possible to ask him where he found that information and if he could cite it? Thank You

crunchboombang · 2013-07-13T23:35:41+00:00

Just dump him. Seems like a ass.

rightsbot · 2013-07-13T21:02:17+00:00

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saoran · 2013-07-13T21:06:52+00:00

This has less to do with MensRights and more to do with how you two communicate with each other.

If you want relationship advice got to /r/relationships.

LOL_Cool_J · 2013-07-14T05:02:13+00:00

Wait it out.

Some people come here looking to confirm preconceived notions, whatever they may be. Most calm down after a while and develop a clearer, healthier perspective of men's issues. Some don't. It'll take a few months to find out which one he is.

manak69 · 2013-07-14T07:33:40+00:00

You should point your fiancé to this post you made. He is being a total ass-hat and is trying to use mens rights movement as ammo to verbally attack you because you are a female. Something radical feminists are synonymous in doing with their movement.

2013-07-13T21:26:46+00:00

pointing out how stupid he is

You're not going to get much help here if this is your goal. I'll just assume you're exasperated.

However...

The men's rights we seek are justified because they are human rights. We don't seek rights because we feel we are superior to women. We aren't.

Women, as human beings, have every right as any other human being to pursue their happiness as they see fit. Also, as human beings, women individually have their flaws and strengths. If it's wrong for your fiancé to be judged by the flaws of other men, then it's equally wrong to judge an individual woman by the flaws of any other woman or a group of women.

2013-07-13T22:18:12+00:00

I feel it would be best op to remind him of how close he is to resembling his opposition. Explain where and how he sounds exactly like those who continue to enforce the stereo types and expectations men unfairly face daily only in a mirriored fashion. Regardless of statistics hes forgeting the right that everyone diserves to prove themselves to be who they are and not what you expect.

blinderzoff · 2013-07-14T16:17:55+00:00

"Women are bad at leading and being in a position of authority because of their hormones... I mean c'mon, you're like crazy 7 days of every month..."

cf. Men are violent brutes because of testosterone poisoning.

"women are just bad bosses, they're so shrill."

cf. Women make better bosses than men because they are fairer and have more scruples

"Well, uh... it's obvious women are bad bosses I don't need to have had one"

a.k.a. Don't confuse me with the facts

It is indeed all sexist bullshit and willful ignorance.

Aaod · 2013-07-14T22:26:45+00:00

My suggestion is to channel Red Forman for a minute and tell him "quit being a dumbass."

avantvernacular · 2013-07-15T16:20:34+00:00

It sounds like he's taken this beyond the context of jest into outright hate. We're supposed to be about equality here, not reciprocal bigotry. Please remind him of this, if you haven't already.

If he can see that, perhaps you should revisit your decision to marry him.

DukeMentat · 2013-07-15T17:29:03+00:00

Sounds like he's frustrated about something in his life and instead of focusing on that issue/those issues, clearly identifying the causes of his frustration, and working to resolve them, he's using anti-feminism (cause he seems to be focused on anti-feminism more then MR issues) as a way to vent.

Not saying he needs to join a drum circle, hug a tree, or anything silly but what you are describing doesn't come off as healthy expressions, even of frustration or anger. It's just him throwing temper tantrums that will alienate others and never solve the initial problems he's having and he could end up digging a hole for himself.

Course, that's just my take on it.

4man · 2013-07-13T23:35:31+00:00

/r/MensRights isn't your local thought police. I suggest you argue back with some informed points and communicate with your fiancé about the issues he raises. You are equal to him after all, if he makes points such as you suggest it should be easy to dispute them. Becoming a feminist junkie is a poor alternative, you will need to abandon all critical thinking capabilities and you seem to still want to approach the world in a rational manner.

2013-07-13T23:14:20+00:00

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thedevguy · 2013-07-13T23:22:10+00:00

"Women are bad at leading"

Your fiance doesn't understand the difference between a generalization (some of which may be true) and a stereotype (which is always immoral). Here's an example to explain the difference.

"Men are taller than women." That's a generalization. It's also true. Nobody should be offended by it. It's just a biological fact.

However, imagine that you have some job that you need to hire someone to perform, and this job requires someone tall (maybe you're looking for someone to stock shelves in a store). If you throw out all the resumes you get from women, saying to yourself, "well men are taller" then you're stereotyping those women and that is wrong.

Because while it's true that on average, men are taller, there are plenty of tall women and plenty of short men. We have to judge individuals on their individual merit. Anything else is discriminatory.

Now, I will not attempt to defend his generalizations, that women are bad leaders or make bad bosses. He has no metric for judging the effectiveness of a boss. He's just throwing out his own personal experiences and prejudices. But I would say to him that if he makes use of that stereotype, then he is morally wrong.

I don't think there's any principal of the men's rights movement that involves pushing stereotypes onto individuals. However, just as there are opportunist feminists, there are clearly opportunist MRAs; people who seize on the label of the movement or some small portion of its platform to advance their own selfish or bigoted desires.

zyk0s · 2013-07-13T21:37:04+00:00

If you go all "feminist junkie" on him, you'll be split up in no time. If that's your aim, carry on.

ENTP · 2013-07-13T22:42:07+00:00

You like dating idiots, and that is in no way the fault of the MRM or this subreddit.

moonphoenix · 2013-07-13T22:09:34+00:00

"Women are bad at leading and being in a position of authority because of their hormones... I mean c'mon, you're like crazy 7 days of every month..."

"women are just bad bosses, they're so shrill."

"Well, uh... it's obvious women are bad bosses I don't need to have had one"

I'm gonna go with what /u/PoliticalCry said. Mens Rights is not about how women are inferior creatures because they have periods or anything related. Besides, I remember reading about how men also have shifts of hormones in their bodies similar to women. This subreddit mostly deals with injustice against men and equality.

I agree that men should have equal rights to their children and should not be held accountable as a gender for every rape that has ever happened

This is a correct point about MRM. I'd consider telling him how MRM is about equality of genders and not about superiority of one, we won't deal in stereotypes or anything similar. If that doesn't work, encourage him to chat with the people here about those views and hopefully he will find out what Mens Rights Movement is really about.

Good luck in working this stuff up and also good luck on your marriage, I hope you become happy.

2013-07-15T13:36:01+00:00

Now, I couldn't care any less to be perfectly honest with you.

Which is why your fiancé should dump you. If you don't think the current feminist oppression of men is a big deal then you don't deserve to be with him.

And you call this guy "a retard" for getting concerned about his own rights? You sound self-centered and incapable of caring about him as much as you care about yourself.

Nepene · 2013-07-14T00:22:36+00:00

My fiancé has been acting like a retard ever since stumbling upon this subreddit.

Insults against your partner are rarely good. You shouldn't be rude to them. It tends to worsen their emotional state and lead to more problems.

"Women are bad at leading and being in a position of authority because of their hormones... I mean c'mon, you're like crazy 7 days of every month..."

http://healthland.time.com/2012/10/22/pms-is-a-myth-new-study/

False, studies on the matter have had wildly diverging results. A lot of women don't have any emotional symptoms during their period, or only small hard to notice ones.

"women are just bad bosses, they're so shrill."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/jobs/7938593/Workers-prefer-male-bosses.html

A lot of people have had bad experiences with female bosses, but not all- around a third of people prefer female bosses, likely because they've had good female bosses.

You should have an in depth heart to heart with him and raise several points.

You agree that men should have equal rights, shouldn't be screwed over etc.
Despite this, you're not as interested in it as him. That's fine- it's like not being interested in politics. Often happens.
As such, he shouldn't try to force you to care.
He has some anti female beliefs which may or may not have some truth to them. One factor is common- they are generalizations. Some women are excellent bosses, some women have no emotional change upon periods.
He should as such raise these ideas only when they are relevant to the topic or really interesting. If someone says something he thinks would really speak to you, sure, show him. If you're talking about a men's rights issue he can raise it.

regular_guy_ · 2013-07-14T15:08:11+00:00

He is making some sweeping generalizations about women there. I think the Feminist movement has been toxic to our society. I think the current overwhelming feminist mindset is destroying us, both men and women alike.

However, I do really like women. I have had some great female managers, and some bad male bosses. I love my wife, my daughters, my mother and sister.

Both his bosses are men, so I don't know where he gets this negative idea about female bosses. In my line of work, I am concerned not only with my immediate boss, but their boss and a whole range of project managers. I get to work with them all - oh joy!. Wearing a chip on his shoulder is not going to help.

DougDante · 2013-07-15T23:04:41+00:00

My fiancé has been acting like a r**** ever since stumbling upon this subreddit. He's been thrusting "false" statistics and "biased" reports in my face every day and going on and on

Dude, lay off your fiance. She loves you. Love her back. Stop trying to pick fights.

If you want to help out, there are action opportunities waiting for you. There are real victims out there who could use your help. If we keep pushing, sooner or later those public officials who are appearing to refuse to do their jobs today are going to relent and protect real victims!

If you want to do something else constructive, msg me and we can work together to find something.

And the point of this subreddit is to fight misandrists, not to be misogynists. Please don't start complaining "7 days of every month". It's just dumb.

aaaaarrrrgggghhhh · 2013-07-16T07:52:05+00:00

I did the math:

48 months in the US presidential term 7 days of craziness per month= 336 days of craziness per term or about 23% of the term spent being crazy.

Mytecacc · 2013-07-13T21:36:47+00:00

If you don't like false and biased stats. avoid feminism and stick with /r/mensrightlinks

theskepticalidealist · 2013-07-14T17:04:30+00:00

Sounds like Manhood Acadamy the idiots banned here

blinderzoff · 2013-07-14T01:22:42+00:00

[permanently deleted]

2013-07-14T00:15:24+00:00

Sounds like he has a chip on his shoulder...you may want to remind him that women aren't the problem, feminism is. The MRM or this subreddit for that matter isn't about hating on women. Yes we do our fair share of posting "women behaving badly" articles but that's not to point out that women are bad, it's to point out the usual slap on the wrist they get if they happen to go to court. But that's besides the point...you can try to have a discussion with him and ask him if he has a problem with women or if maybe if it's more society enabling women's bad behaviour that has led to some of the things he has either experienced or heard of. You could try to have a rational dialogue about the whole thing and ask him to find some studies to support his belief that women are horrible at leadership roles...maybe he'll actually find something and you can both share in the enlightenment or maybe he'll find nothing and will be forced to face the facts that he is wrong.

I hope you two will be able to find a middle ground on this...if he can't get rid of the chip on his shoulder, you may want to consider finding another guy.

literallyschmiteraly · 2013-07-13T21:41:41+00:00

Agree and amplify. Spend all your time in this reddit reading, and constantly point out new men's rights things. You have to outdo him on every point.

You'll get an education, and he will start trusting you and relax about it all.

mighty_mogomra · 2013-07-13T21:44:29+00:00

Most of the bad bosses that I've had were women.

They can't handle the stress of the job as manager well.

I've had female managers go off on me because I was in the room and the company they worked for (Not owned) was having money problems.

Some were even openly misandric towards me and sometimes praising female workers for their efforts while negating/criticizing my own.

I have had only one good female boss since I've been in the working world. The only two reasons that I can think of for why this is are that she was very logical (thought like a guy) despite not having a college degree (no feminist indoctrination) and that she was young & happily married (Most women that are old and unmarried/divorced seem to have a "chip on their shoulder" when it comes to dealing with men.).

Though I doubt that any of what he has spoken comes from experience.

As you said, he has only had one job his entire life and both of his bosses are men.

I agree with the plights men are going through when it comes to divorce, how society treats them,etc. ; however, I do not hate women.

I just have a healthy respect for them in the same way one would have for cobras, alligators, and any other predatory animal.

gamingonly · 2013-07-14T00:01:32+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	An average woman and her MensRights man...
Author	[deleted]
Upvotes	14
Comments	64
Date	July 13, 2013 9:00 PM UTC (13 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/1i8jyl/an_average_woman_and_her_mensrights_man/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/an-average-woman-and-her-mensrights-man.1168799 https://theredarchive.com/post/1168799

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