WhyTF are people so mad at the older/younger dynamic?

Mrs_Drgree · 2022-09-13T15:38:44+00:00

Discussion posts must be neutral

Sad_Entertainer6312 · 2022-09-13T13:41:20+00:00

Some people don't like a big age gap because they think there's a power imbalance due to age, money, experience or maturity.

They aren't wrong and sometimes this is an issue, but a lot of the time there's no issues.

My sister for example met her husband when she was 17 and he was 24. That have an amazing marriage

Johnny_Autism · 2022-09-13T14:28:45+00:00

Age gap discourse will never not be interesting to me because it's the best topic for exposing hypocrisy from all sorts of angles.

The hypocrisy of some liberals/progressives when they talk about letting people love who they love without judgment, and their supposed hatred of stereotyping people and situations that don't involve them personally.
The hypocrisy of people who mock incels for thinking in fatalistic ways ("women don't like short/ethnic guys") but will casually make the generic claim that young women don't like older/old guys because none of their friends do.
The hypocrisy of some women who will cry foul when men talk about the Wall happening at 30 and disparage female aging, but will eagerly hop on the "old men are dusty and gross" train when it suits their narrative that dating younger women is an incel revenge fantasy.
The double standards that exist in making exceptions for judging age gaps more mercifully depending on the older person's looks, gender, sexuality, race, popularity, etc.
The contradiction that exists in both advocating for women's agency in terms of bodily autonomy and taking more potentially permanent risks like abortion and sex reassignment surgery, while infantilizing women and "remote managing" their dating choices at the same time
The unwillingness to consider that maybe the idea that the voting/driving/drinking age being lower than the point of brain maturation at 25 is cause for concern (if that's your position) and not a separate discussion from the age gap discussion.

And just generally watching people ditch any sort of logical reasoning and resort to making cheap accusations ("you wanna date teenagers or something") and appealing to emotion ("would you let your daughter date an older man") when they can't argue the point.

SmarmyPapsmears · 2022-09-13T13:44:32+00:00

Women are mad that men are attracted to youth & thus shame men's preferences as pedophilia.

This is without accounting for maturity and a man not wanting to marry a much younger woman due to incompatibility. They're still mad that youth = better.

Salt_Mathematician24 · 2022-09-13T13:42:20+00:00

All the negatives for men you stated are one of the reasons people get mad. Also women don't like the idea because of those reasons too but also they think huge age gaps involve a lot of inbalanced power dynamics and they find it degrading to women and relationships in general to view women as baby making factories and relationships solely based on pumping out as many children as possible rather than love, mutual goals, compatibility etc.

FightMeCthullu · 2022-09-13T13:50:44+00:00

It depends on the relationship.

GENERALLY speaking, the issue with age gaps is you have to wonder why a person would be interested in someone who is in such a different life stage. I think after a person turns 25 or so and is independent, with life experience, when they’ve lived out of home for a while and been responsible for themselves, it’s not so bad.

But when you look at say a 25 year old dating an 18 year old - like, my only question is why they’d want to date someone who has just finished high school and is in such a different stage of life. Or a 30 year old dating a 21 year old - different life stages, different maturity levels, different experiences. But a 32 year old with a 26 year old - yeah still a little odd but that 26 year old likely has a better handle on themselves and the world and their place in it.

Age gaps aren’t always bad but it depends on the size of the gap, how similar they are in terms of life stages and maturity/experiences, and WHY the gap happened. Does the older person have a history of chasing much younger people?

Things like that.

Not all age gaps are bad but I’m 25 and can’t imagine dating someone 18-21, because I’d have so little in common with them in terms of life experience and emotional maturity. Thinking of myself at 21….like I was so different to how I am now. I had so much growing to do. I also can’t imagine dating someone over 30 or so for that same reason - our lives would be so entirely different in so many ways and it would cause problems with communication and expectations.

They can work! It’s just important if you try it to set up a good foundation of healthy communication and firm boundaries, and it’s good to examine WHY the older person is chasing someone so much younger.

SwaySh0t · 2022-09-13T14:31:53+00:00

Anecdotal but in my experience it’s mostly young women initiating these relationships. I never had more 18 year olds in my Dms when I was 25. Now at 30, it’s mostly 22-24 year olds. Women just like older men.

2022-09-13T14:54:16+00:00

Please use the search bar. This has been discussed to death and no one has had their minds changed.

KombuchaEnema · 2022-09-13T14:41:59+00:00

Men are extremely virile and horny when they’re young. This doesn’t really support your theory that older men are the ones meant to reproduce. If anything you’d want the genes of a young, healthy, athletic and horny male. This is the male who can impregnate the most women and is most biologically fit for producing healthy offspring. He’s also the male who would have the most success defending your village from attackers back in the day.

At the end of the day, I’ve never met an older man or woman who enjoys talking to 20-year-olds or finds any genuine benefit in doing so. Unless it was a parent-child type of relationship.

I’m only 25 but when I look at 18-year-old men I can’t even try to be attracted to them because they seem childish to me.

Johnny_Autism · 2022-09-13T14:10:20+00:00

Why are people so mad about people being so mad? Why not just chill and let grown adults have the agency to discuss things they find concerning and not in the best interest of the parties involved?

Because opinions are like assholes and people can be mad at whatever the fuck they want QED.

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ruboyuri · 2022-09-13T14:16:49+00:00

Oh, the exploitation, if it exists. It tends to make people messed up, regardless of gender, just like any trauma. No one likes dealing with that

wtknight · 2022-09-13T14:42:33+00:00

Women don’t like the idea of young women being manipulated for sex by older men. Many were manipulated themselves when they were younger.

Ganajin · 2022-09-13T14:53:38+00:00

Science eh? So here's some science: if a 20 year old woman marries a 40 year old man for his resources or whatever, he will logically die 20 years earlier than her. Or more. She will be a widow at age 50.

AreOut · 2022-09-13T14:55:10+00:00

because 99% of people are just jealous, whether they are older women or older LVM who don't have the access to younger women

"gap in maturity, place in life, stability, and general insight into their own behavior/psychology and horrible habits makes this idea generally A DISASTER for the man, especially if they are considering a LTR or marriage."

let's talk about marrying a 25yo girl vs a 35yo one, maturity very often has little to do with age at that point because if she is not mature until 25 what will make her mature ten years later? unless you consider "maturity" her bitterness and realising that Chad isn't going to commit to her so she settled for you

as for place in life most 25yo girls already finished college and have the work or even own business, only difference between her and a 40yo man will be work experience, if you think that many of them don't want LTR/marriage then everything you have to do is to find one that does

now stability...when it comes to women many of them who are older than 30(especially those childless who used a lot of antibaby pills and some even had several abortions) will have problems with hormones, certainly way more than those aged 25, needless to say how that impacts stability

"general insight into their own behavior/psychology and horrible habits"

now now, the youtube is full of "mature" women aged 30+ and even 40+ and the insight into their own behaviour is, well, most of the time nonexistent...

howdoiw0rkthisthing · 2022-09-13T15:03:05+00:00

gap in maturity, place in life, stability, and general insight into their own behavior/psychology and horrible habits makes this idea generally A DISASTER for the man

Was this supposed to be a rhetorical question? Because you just answered it.

januaryphilosopher · 2022-09-13T15:10:13+00:00

I'm not angry about it, I just think that it's a bad idea on many counts.

If you're older and looking for a much younger partner, realistically, you're likely going to keep looking and if you do find one there's probably some not so great reason they aren't dating people their own age. Most young people don't see those more than a couple of years older as dating options at all.

If you actually do happen upon one of these relationships, the chances of problems occurring is far higher. Abuse, divorce and general unhappiness are much bigger risks with big age gaps. Although you may think a young person looks nice, they aren't going to be nice to date with a generation gap and they likely aren't going to enjoy dating you either.

It seems for more natural for people to pair up with those their own age, who they can actually have good relationships with. Neither men nor women tend to be ready for stability when they are young. Sure, we can all say that young people look better than old ones, but just because you're following your instincts on looks and nothing else doesn't make it "natural".

Creation_Soul · 2022-09-13T15:11:12+00:00

I think there are two main issues:

there is a (subtle) implication that once that women will grow older, the man will not be attracted to her as much.
the targeting aspect. I am in my early 30s and if I wanted to meet an early 20s women I would really have to go out of my way to meet one. None of my usual social activities put me in any proximity to early 20s single women; probably my best bet would be at my current job, but trying to date at your job presents risks I would not be willing to take.

Quantum_Supremacist · 2022-09-13T15:27:41+00:00

Does it really matter if people are mad or not? If no laws are broken then what can people really do about it other than be mad?

It's not just age gap relationships, it's anything that some people may not like but can't put a stop to. If someone wants to be angry about it that's their own burden to bear.

Steakman1 · 2022-09-13T15:36:40+00:00

I always find it strange that society dictates that an 18 y/o woman is strong and mature enough to do most adult things and make possibly very consequential decisions like making an onlyfans. Then there’s other things like gender reassignment surgeries. I would argue that making porn and having a sex change can easily have much worse and longer consequences than an age gap relationship that doesn’t work out. But if they date an older guy, they’re immediately infantilized and society dictates that she doesn’t know what she’s doing, she’s being groomed, exploited, etc and the man is preying on a vulnerable person. And I also find it odd that society seems way less sensitive to the idea if it’s an older woman with a younger guy. Society tries to say women mature a lot faster than men, but apparently not in this regard. They’re mature enough to decide to get fucked on camera for men of all ages to see. But they aren’t mature enough to choose to fuck one of those guys. And that’s assuming the relationships have even grown to a sexual level.

I mean I would agree if the main argument is that there would likely be some sort of compatibility issue. But that doesn’t seem to be the main argument. I also acknowledge that there are relationships like this where one side is trying to take advantage of the other. But the argument doesn’t appear to be that those specific relationships are what’s immoral. It’s that all relationships with an age gap are immoral.

Title	WhyTF are people so mad at the older/younger dynamic?
Author	onlyFax_noFans
Upvotes	1
Comments	39
Date	September 13, 2022 1:32 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/xd7p9t/whytf_are_people_so_mad_at_the_olderyounger/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/whytf-are-people-so-mad-at-the-olderyounger.1208803 https://theredarchive.com/post/1208803

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