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Okla. teacher, wife of police chief arrested for sexually abusing teen (The comments section is very interesting...)

KrazyJazz

April 16, 2023

703 upvotes

/r/MensRights

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Title	Okla. teacher, wife of police chief arrested for sexually abusing teen (The comments section is very interesting...)
Author	KrazyJazz
Upvotes	703
Comments	83
Date	April 16, 2023 1:01 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/MensRights
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/MensRights/comments/12o7rw9/okla_teacher_wife_of_police_chief_arrested_for/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/MensRights/okla-teacher-wife-of-police-chief-arrested-for.1214815 https://theredarchive.com/post/1214815

Comments

[–]KrazyJazz[S] 302 points303 points304 points 3 years ago (75 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Final_Philosopher663 109 points110 points111 points 3 years ago (32 children) | Copy Link

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[–]KrazyJazz[S] 30 points31 points32 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Achilles9821 points 3 years ago [recovered] (5 children) | Copy Link

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[–]Roro-Squandering 9 points10 points11 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]mybanevasionaccount4 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]TheProclaimed99 2 points3 points4 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]KrazyJazz[S] 14 points15 points16 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Background_Duck2932 13 points14 points15 points 3 years ago* (2 children) | Copy Link

So let's assume you're right, that if this was nonconsensual sexual assault, a boy would have no problem, while a girl would have a traumatic experience. I don't agree, but fine, let's say that's true.

This is consensual sexual assault (it's SA since it's a teacher with a student I guess?). Whether they're a boy or girl, it was consensual, meaning that they aren't facing some horrific act. They're both doing something they wanted to do. Theoretically, in both cases, this shouldn't lead to trauma, so there should be nothing wrong in both cases. So why is it ok to say that the girl in this case was groomed/misled and has been assaulted, but not the boy? Later, she'll realize that what happened was wrong? That's not her naturally coming to that conclusion, that's everyone around her telling her that she should feel like she was wronged. There's no way she would naturally think that something she wanted to do and enjoyed was wrong without others telling her so. I don't get why the boy shouldn't get the same level of protection and compassion in this scenario.

[–]COL_D 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

[–]Background_Duck2932 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Klutzy_Pride_5644 5 points6 points7 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]Achilles9821 points 3 years ago [recovered] (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]Net_Flux3 6 points7 points8 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Greg_W_Allan 1 point2 points3 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Current_Finding_4066 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]Embarrassed-Tune9038 131 points132 points133 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]RemCogito 12 points13 points14 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

My favorite teacher lost his job because a woman(18) who was previously his student (she was now in University) came to his house to deliver him food when he was sick because she had a crush and knew where he lived, it lead to sexual things, and then when he didn't want to continue because he wanted to pursue someone closer to his age, She had a fit, and tried to claim SA months later,(due to the previous teacher student barrier) when he proposed to that woman his age.

The potential SA with a former student, made the administration fire him immediately.

In court it turned out that she had initiated it, and he had tried to convince her out of the idea, but he eventually acquiesced in order to make the situation go away, as he was ill and didn't feel up to trying to kick her out given her adamant attitude. ( I say this because both of their testimony agreed about her emotional state and her insistence. She just tried to claim that it was because he groomed her for it, even though he had not contacted her since she stopped being his student, and nothing even close to sexual had occurred previously.)

I knew the girl, as I was involved with clubs that came with the class, and she would literally drive off other unattached girls so that after school club activity that was most closely supervised would be her and the boys. (she sort of took over theatre design aspects of the school productions for the 3 years she was there, and so the construction and set painting work would often need direct adult supervision to be allowed at the school)

I thought she just had a hard time interacting with girls, And it meant that The girls who wanted to do drama stuff hung out with me the light and sound nerd, While they did things like costume/prop design, and other things that we could work on without direct supervision, because she constantly drafted the other boys to exclude most of the other girls.

so I didn't think too much of it. After the testimony, it seems to be more likely that she wanted as much one on one time with the teacher as possible, because most of the guys would leave after the main construction ended, and she got focused on detail work, she might be there until 9 or 10 pm, and he would be a damn good teacher and make sure that we could complete our projects, no matter how time intensive. I often had to stay late when making major changes to the lighting, or when we needed to add some sort of remotely triggered prop, and he would make the time for us. I think in the three years, he said no to extra time for me 4 times, 2 of those were for dentist appointments. He was very informal, but never inappropriate.

She had learned where he lived, because on the way back from the hardware store one time, he stopped at home to grab something, and she noted down his address. She had his number because he would show up early, if we wanted him to, if we sent him a message the night before. He was a seriously dedicated teacher. And supported us in making our ideas reality in theatre. Hell He even supported a secondary club I was in that made a feature length film, and supported my AV club by being the teacher willing to take responsibility.

After the trial, he didn't get his job back because the school board thought it was inappropriate that he drove a female student without a female chaperone. Fucking insanity.

[–]Net_Flux3 20 points21 points22 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

[–]regrettabletreaty1 29 points30 points31 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

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[–]GeezMaHatGhandi 132 points133 points134 points 3 years ago (7 children) | Copy Link

[–]MusicallyManiacal 88 points89 points90 points 3 years ago (5 children) | Copy Link

[+]TheEnglish1 -47 points-46 points-45 points 3 years ago (4 children) | Copy Link

[–]MusicallyManiacal 42 points43 points44 points 3 years ago (3 children) | Copy Link

[+]TheEnglish1 -29 points-28 points-27 points 3 years ago (2 children) | Copy Link

[–]MusicallyManiacal 29 points30 points31 points 3 years ago (1 child) | Copy Link

This isn’t meant to be a complaint about women as a whole. I meant that comments like “lucky kid” are made by men and comments like “the kid abused the teacher” by and large are made by women. They are equally abhorrent and both shift the blame from rapist to victim.

I have been on social media long enough to see many cases of female teachers sexually abusing male students. Most people, women and men, agree that teachers should not sexually abuse students (crazy take, right?). There are a small minority of people, mostly young men, who opine that the student was lucky to have had sex with an older woman. There are also a small minority of people who believe that women cannot be raped, and that when an adult female teacher has sex with (rapes) an adolescent or even a child, the child is at fault for being raped. I have seen men make that claim but far more often I see women making it.

I don’t know what the average woman believes. I bet it’s probably an outlier belief, that the kid was at fault. I just think it important to understand who is making what comments.

[–]TheEnglish1 0 points1 point2 points 3 years ago (0 children) | Copy Link

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[–]KrazyJazz[S] 19 points20 points21 points 3 years ago* (0 children) | Copy Link

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