Financial Demands of Dating Modern Vs Traditional Women

wtknight · 2023-04-24T23:44:31+00:00

Flaired CMV as this post is making an affirmative claim

Lift_and_Lurk · 2023-04-25T00:37:10+00:00

NY has everything from the highest end restaurant to literal kitchens turned cafes in certain neighborhoods.

I’m doubting the girls from Flatbush and Staten Island, Washington heights and Jamaica, let alone the Bronx are all looking just for the nice restaurants

people forget that NYC is much more than just the Island of Manhattan

Popular_Accountant60 · 2023-04-24T23:22:02+00:00

While some women are definitely entitled, I also think it has to do with upbringing. Someone who’s college educated with their own money living in NYC most likely has parents who are also doing well, they’re just used to the nicer things in life. While a more traditional woman might come from a household with a traditional mother who was just happy to tag along with her husband. Neither are worse than the other , just all depends on what you prefer in a partner. But I wouldn’t say just sticking to more traditional women will prevent this issue , I’m traditional and my husband took me to a Michelin star restaurant on our second date because he knew I liked fine dining. Some men just set the bar too high

anonymous-platypus1 · 2023-04-25T01:01:45+00:00

Find someone that likes similar things as you. Not every woman likes fancy dates or nice restaurants. There are plenty of women that would be thrilled with a dive bar margarita and some air-hockey for a date.

However, if the women you’re attracted to seem to all like the finer things in life, then you need to be realistic about expectation.

toasterchild · 2023-04-25T00:57:49+00:00

The point of dating is to find someone who's into a similar lifestyle. My husband had never been to a truly nice restaurant until we started dating. He was a little bit uncomfortable at first but then learned he really likes bougie trips and fancy dinners now and then. We would both rather live in a house that's way below what we can get a loan for so that instead we can spend on experiences. Just decide what type of life you prefer and try to find a partner who agrees.

neverjumpthegate · 2023-04-25T01:07:54+00:00

More traditional women are looking for Mr Good Enough (not that there is anything wrong with that), while more modern women are looking for Mr. Prefect Fit ( nothing wrong with this either)

armpitpics · 2023-04-25T01:24:10+00:00

What makes a woman modern? A lot of women are superficially modern, but still traditional at their core. She goes to school, might agree with some feminist causes but still expects a relationship where the man's career takes a precedence over hers. I've worked with women like this and although they're described as modern they're not. Then there's the possibility that these women are from different demographics. If this modern woman also comes from a higher socio-economic class she might be used to more expensive things regardless of who buys them.

HobbitShaker88 · 2023-04-25T03:35:50+00:00

Another NYC poster who is surprised by the nature of people who want to live in NYC...

CobblerDazzling8374 · 2023-04-25T00:56:14+00:00

So you’re saying women who have their own money, who are less provincial and have good taste in restaurants, are less interested in being a tradwife and the dynamic that comes with being financially dependent on you? I for one am shocked.

Don’t you agree to a restaurant before meeting up? If you don’t want to go there, don’t go? And also if you invited her, you should pay.

Safinated · 2023-04-25T01:28:13+00:00

If you want to avoid alimony in a rich area, you date women with jobs who have high expectations

No_Bag5505 · 2023-04-24T23:29:05+00:00

Going to some fancy restaurant on a first date to wine and dine is asking for trouble. It puts way too much pressure, emphasis, and prerequisites on both individuals. The first time two people should wine and dine at a restaurant should be deep into the dating scene. Prior to that, they should do what you mentioned, meet up at coffee shops, do mini activities together etc.

Soloandthewookiee · 2023-04-24T23:18:45+00:00

To me, it seems like a lot of "modern" women want to have their cake and eat it too.

If that's what you want to see, that's what you're going to see.

I personally don't get how not paying for a date is anti-modern women or anti-feminism, but there sure is a lot of effort devoted to complaining about it.

harmonica2 · 2023-04-25T02:31:32+00:00

I hear that dating is tougher for people who live in big cities. I live in a small town where it seems easier, and other couples I know from where I am also seem to have it easier, so are small towns possibly better?

Over_Noise3530 · 2023-04-25T03:34:22+00:00

Don't keep taking her out for pizza and burgers if she is thin and you expect her to stay thin. If you're trying to be cheap you're better off cooking with her at home

Pathosgrim · 2023-04-25T02:24:02+00:00

Being in New York is a L in general. You lost before you even decided to play the game.

MistyMaisel · 2023-04-25T17:34:54+00:00

I think a lot of the financial demand stuff can be put down to differences in where the relationship is at, what women like, what impresses women, and what they think what you're doing says.

Some women are impressed by big displays of wealth. Some will think this means you must really value and be into them. Some will think it means you're trying to buy sex.

Some women are impressed by really nicely planned dates even if they're quite cheap, but give a special or adventurous experience. Some will think this means you really value them and are into them. Some will think this means you're a cheapo.

Some women really treat this like a job interview and just want to get coffee. Some will think this means you're cheap. Some will think this means you're seeing lots of women and just seeking sex. Some will think this just means you're down to earth and trying not to pour any pressure on.

The same actions read different ways to different people based on factors outside of those actions.

Do I think the difference here is traditional vs. modern? No. I think the difference here is in what impresses women and how individual women read different actions and how they respond based on those readings.

Following this, if you're in a proper relationship which is ongoing, it can't all be trips to maccas, someone cooking, or ordering take-out. Sometimes there needs to be stuff that's new, exciting, fancy, or reflects a desire towards growth and trying the finest of life within reason.

Conversely, it can't be all 5 stars, michelins, private chefs, fancy fancy, or constantly eating out. Mostly, maccas is great, ordering take-out is fab, and cooking is the best of all especially together.

Again, this isn't about modern vs. traditional, it's about a relationship and people making memories and routines together. And ultimately, it really doesn't matter that much if it's the right person, but relationships need all the help they can get. So sometimes a little fancy helps. And so does a regular cooking in together night.

Demasii · 2023-04-25T01:25:45+00:00

There is no cake to have and eat it too.

If you are going to split the bill than you want your money to go to something that you want.

Environmental_Day558 · 2023-04-25T01:30:58+00:00

I never dated a "traditional" woman (as actual trad women rarely exist) but I dated one that made more money than me at the time yet never wanted to split the bill and always wanted to go to these fancy restaurants downtown. I called her out on that saying maybe we can eat somewhere cheaper as I'm tired of spending $100 a dinner for both of us and I can tell that turned her all the way off.

My fiance now makes a lot less money than I do yet doesn't demand me to spend money on her like that. I do take her fancier places on occasion, but she's content with a normal restaurant. This is what it's meant when people say men don't care about women's money, because more often than not you're still expected to shell out more than her.

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Listen-Natural · 2023-04-25T01:16:26+00:00

You are in New York? Just make sure you don’t run into the cheese girl

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PXlqk2sFm0s&pp=ygUSQ2hlZXNlIGRhdGluZyBnaXJs

januaryphilosopher · 2023-04-25T09:33:22+00:00

See, you're only talking about first dates. You'd be singing a different tune when it comes time to move in together and you realise someone who'll default pay half the expenses is really useful.

DoinIt989 · 2023-04-25T14:30:12+00:00

What does "modern" mean in this context? When I think of a "modern" woman in a place like NYC, I assume one who's probably more "alt" than you're thinking of. She might have a career, but she's plenty used to sleeping with men who don't have a bedframe etc. The whole going-to-fancy places thing seems more like the type of woman you date, not a trad vs modern thing.

Title	Financial Demands of Dating Modern Vs Traditional Women
Author	threedecisions
Upvotes	39
Comments	83
Date	April 24, 2023 11:15 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/12y087f/financial_demands_of_dating_modern_vs_traditional/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/financial-demands-of-dating-modern-vs-traditional.1216753 https://theredarchive.com/post/1216753

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