I hate men dating culture

Kappador66 · 2023-02-08T22:59:50+00:00

If you don't want to (or can't) participate in dating just don't and tell people who bother you about it to fuck off.

You can just not approach random strangers and still live a good life.

mikey_weasel · 2023-02-08T22:58:12+00:00

Hey mate you are making a lot of wild over-generalizations and extreme statements here. Looking at this and glancing at your post history im wondering:

hows your mental health? You looking after yourself there?
hows your life outside of dating? You got a decent social circle going on? Good friends but also meeting new people?

Right now it sounds like you are pretty damn bitter and angry over dating which is a headspace thats going to make dating almost impossible. You might need to consider takin the pressure off yourself on dating and consider the above questions

luridlurker · 2023-02-09T00:43:15+00:00

I hate the fact that people are expected to "get bitches" and some people are deemed superior to others because they can "pull."

This is a toxic mentality. It's not about dating to meet someone who matches you and can meet your needs and vise versa... it's about men competing with men using women as objects. It's shallow down to the core.

Don't stress - well adjusted people don't worry about who or what they can "pull" and don't measure their self worth by whom they date.

Be yourself - find things that make you happy and work on things that make you happy to improve.

Edit: type-o

spiraldinosaur · 2023-02-09T11:39:32+00:00

Is this seriously a necessary part of being a man?

No. It absolutely isn't and nor is that culture. That isn't typical "men dating culture" that's just misogyny. People who treat dating and women like it's some kind of game or competition are just generally awful people and not representative of what dating and relationships, and generally men, are actually like or what we're supposed to be like.

Stop watching red pill stuff. Stop watching PUA videos. Stop hanging out with men who treat women like that. Have yourself a total detox and surround yourself with better people who don't behave like that.

Dating is about putting in effort to get to know someone, it's about spending time together and valuing that time and bonding. It does not in any way have to be about approaching 50 girls every day to get their number. It may be about dealing with some rejection, but the less you treat it like a numbers game and actually treat women like people, the less you have to deal with that.

Just, clean out those ideas, surround yourself with good people, get rid of those who are telling you that this is how it is, because it's not.

Meat_Vegetable · 2023-02-08T23:11:30+00:00

I'm 33 born a man and still a man. It's an exhausting game to play and if you don't want to then don't. If people give you shit for it then are they really your friend/some one you want to be friends with?

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2023-02-09T03:47:11+00:00

Who is forcing you to do any of this?

Naus1987 · 2023-02-08T23:19:30+00:00

You shouldn’t cut your wiener off, but your attitude to stand your ground and be yourself is much more masculine than just being a other follower.

You’re a man, not a sheep. Live the life you want, and don’t give a fuck about what others say or think.

There isn’t a single male role model on this planet who doesn’t have haters. Even people like Mr rodgers abs bob ross have haters.

You’ll always have haters, you’ll just have to ignore them

xvszero · 2023-02-08T23:22:47+00:00

No, it's not necessary to be an asshole to be a man. If the men you are around are all like this, you need to find new friends.

And people will be stupid enough to say that "love" exists when THIS is how people fall in love.

No it isn't. Basically none of those people ever find love. They just find mediocre relationships that don't last very long, if even that.

DMD12345 · 2023-02-08T23:37:39+00:00

If cold approach ain’t your thing, the best thing to do is get involved in activities were women will be around. While doing something you enjoy, this gives you an automatic conversation starter and women tend to be more socially receptive at these events, as usually alcohol isn’t being consumed and men who start conversations with them tend to less likely be the kind that just want to jump in bed with them and have a one and done. Randomly approaching women while they’re out and about takes a certain personality to successfully pull and a ton of trial and error. Calculating your approaches yields better results and lower rejection rates.

Jamonde · 2023-02-09T03:01:47+00:00

Gonna give you an answer that you might've heard already and might not like.

Do you regularly spend time with friends and other social groups? You don't have to be Mr. Outgoing or whatever, but having an active and healthy social life will do wonders for your mental health and your dating life. You don't need to go to parties 24/7, just do the things you already do with other people. If you are a student, talk to the other students and make plans to study together. If you exercise, talk to the other people you see regularly and find out what you can learn from one another. If you work somewhere, make connections at work and don't blow them off the next time it appears a social thing is happening.

I agree with you - the dating culture you're describing is shit. And being 20 is hard. But you get to decide to not play the game and instead live your life as best as you can and try to grow and be a better person. Pursue your goals. Be interested in the people around you. Compliment someone. Forget picking up women. Talk to the people around you.

Whether you believe it or not, you already have a life. You have to actively, consciously, and repeatedly choose to live it over staying stuck in your head and your thoughts where your resentment will just discolor everything. I know it is easier said than done, but it is true. Leave behind the culture you've described, and be kind to yourself. You can acknowledge that being a man your age is tough and confusing. You don't have to beat yourself up about it. I was also still a virgin at your age, and that's totally fine.

QueenCitten96 · 2023-02-09T06:48:44+00:00

Live your life for you. Worrying about "proving" you're a man, will only lead to a life of exhaustion

vcreativ · 2023-02-09T11:04:04+00:00

Picking up women isn't actually particularly masculine if you think about it.

The guys that I know that do this have significant self-worth issues once they start digging. And that makes sense, since they're constantly looking for the approval of the opposite sex.

It's also Hedonistic, which contradicts Stoicism. Which is funny, because the same guys think Stoicism is masculine. Therefore even by their own metric, they're not masculine. And based on the numbers your describing it's way past the neurotic threshold to be healthy.

I imagine you're listening to too many of these guys on the interwebz. And it's up to you to stop doing that. They don't know what masculinity is. Don't judge men based on what idiots say, proclaim, or do.

It's so fucking stressful to constantly improve myself and be on the top of my "game" every single fucking day.

I'm all for improving, but it's really important to understand what that means. I think the main reason it's exhausting is because you're likely attempting to improve in directions that are meaningless to you. Which makes sense considering you're listening to dumb people. (Calling them kids would be insulting to kids.)

So don't follow their "advice". The most masculine thing you can do is to do your own thing and discover what that means. What masculinity means to you. And not depend on the approval of others. Do be kind. But not to be liked. Learn to be intrinsically kind.

Dating and approval of the other sex has little relevance to you being masculine. It's good to be seen for sure. But it doesn't solve the problem at all. Masculinity is for you to discover in yourself.

Besides the most approval you'll ever gain is by being virtuous and at peace with yourself. That's a you process. Not a they tell me process.

WWhiMM · 2023-02-09T15:47:13+00:00

Here's a better idea, go up to 50 people a day and ask each of them if they think it's important and good to "get bitches." Nothing against the deranged people who are just trying to rack up a body count. But, I think most would say what's important is you form deep intimate connections with other people. That's not about having "game," it's being an authentic, open, and loving person; cultivating the qualities that enable emotional intimacy.

Whistler1968 · 2023-02-09T14:57:15+00:00

Take that youthful energy and go out and make your fortune. The ladies will come to you....

slimeseason0318 · 2023-02-17T22:48:10+00:00

Dating is for men not boys. Gotta learn the game and play in your favor. Women want a man not a boy.

2023-02-09T15:57:42+00:00

Thats not an expectation even in "red pill" culture, red pillers are individualists meaning do whatever the hell you want. If you don't want to date, then don't... thats like the entire point of MGTOW. If you want a good partner though, dating is kinda required. Apps work but approaching in person works better for men in my experience. If that is something you have a problem with then I dunno.... blame nature... in general males are pursuers in mammals. If you are very good looking or funny you may occasionally get hit on by women in a obvious manner, usually if they like you its very subtle though.

leetcoder217 · 2023-02-09T08:47:26+00:00

Get comfortable with your sexuality first. Are you a straight man !? Ask yourself. If you are, then you naturally want to meet them and love them. Then all the chase doesn't sound problematic. There are many paramters in your control. The location, your wealth, your personality, style etc.

goodboy92 · 2023-02-09T15:49:56+00:00

You know, I also had and have to deal with that, like your entire worth is based on that, it mostly comes from other guys who for some reason have the capacity of going in and out of relationships easily. I also wanted to have that but then I discover that these guys are like social butterflies and if you are like that trust me, you will be more capable of getting women.

Known_Patience_3303 · 2023-02-09T19:51:27+00:00

I met the love of my life on the corner of the street. She had a flat tyre. I fixed it. We started talking. Nothing happened. Didn't have the balls for her number because she was so pretty. Year later i met her at a party, she recognized her and hugged me. I took her hand and we danced and then kissed. From then on it was just smooth sailing, our intrest turned out to be very similar and in a few weeks she is expecting our second kid.

My point of this story is that love is something that can sometimes just be around the corner. And its not hard. Its love.

I think a lot of people confuse sexual attraction and gaming with love. It is not. Love is so far from that. And its not hard. Its the easiest and funnest thing you will ever do.

Just my 2cents.

DreamieQueenCJ · 2023-02-10T17:53:18+00:00

There is nothing wrong in not sleeping around, as a girl or a guy. It just shows you value deeper connections over fleeting pleasure. And honestly, only Redpillers really gives a damn about bodycounts because of their own insecurities. If you know who you are, what you want in life, then you should keep doing you.

West-Kiwi-6601 · 2023-02-12T07:19:25+00:00

If you can learn to be happy alone then that's a great foundation before you meet a girl one day. The men you talk about have fallen for the consumerism side of red pill such as pua content, rap songs, even porn.

AwareHabit6916 · 2023-02-14T10:21:01+00:00

Its only another way to see women as objects contrary to beings.

Yes, its not benefitial to personal development.

You cannot seriously love someone you dont see as a autonomous being, but someone you can manipulate.

Youre correct and correct and correct.

RjTheHypeBeast · 2023-02-16T12:56:44+00:00

Dude talk to women it’s not about pulling girls it’s about establishing meaningful relationship and those men that talk like that where are they at 50 years old ? Miserable single mother and children they don’t see lol that type of talk will just set u up for failure

onequestion1168 · 2023-02-24T04:33:53+00:00

Do yourself a favor and don't listen to a fucken post in this thread. Live however you want. Don't give a fuck at all what people think and enjoy freedom

You need to go your local boxing or jiu jitsu school and learn how to fight and spar and grapple and eliminate all fear of humans you will he glad you did

Fearless_Top_6024 · 2023-03-03T15:06:18+00:00

You sound pathetic

Title	I hate men dating culture
Author	Puzzleheaded_Emu7511
Upvotes	80
Comments	61
Date	February 8, 2023 10:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/10xcd04/i_hate_men_dating_culture/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-hate-men-dating-culture.1230293 https://theredarchive.com/post/1230293

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