Those who have/had trouble relating to the opposite sex, what do you think caused this? Were you able to fix it?

Iakobos_Mathematikos · 2023-10-13T00:50:42+00:00

It’s really just the disparities in dating and views on sex that lead to us not being able to relate to the opposite sex; we’re pretty similar in most other ways. The gap in empathy is exacerbated by the fact that although both men and women have issues, both feel that the other sex’s issues would be a solution to their own problems. Namely, men receive no attention whatsoever and crave the constant validation that women receive. Women are bombarded with suitors who are only interested in sex or otherwise are extremely disrespectful, and many feel they would prefer receiving no attention at all like men.

It’s not really an easy disparity to get over, and I won’t claim to have gotten past it myself. I think the only thing that helps is focusing on the feelings we experience in reaction to these different conditions, which are usually somewhat similar. Everyone can feel depression; everyone can feel loneliness.

leosandlattes · 2023-10-13T05:57:57+00:00

I fixed mine by getting therapy. Once I stopped seeing men as lying opportunists and started treating them like normal people, my social life got a lot better.

I realize now that for people who have trouble relating to the opposite sex, it’s caused by some sort of belief that men or women as a WHOLE are like X/Y/Z. Instead of men and women being individuals who have unique experiences and personalities and are more or less the same on a basic level.

Look in this very thread. It’s filled with people who generalize and otherize the opposite sex to such a degree that they think there’s no way they can relate to any single man/woman.

And while I think it’s fine to believe men and women aren’t exactly the same and that there ARE some things men and women will never understand about each other, that doesn’t mean you won’t be able to relate to each other.

If you’re a woman, do you think a man won’t be able to relate with you on having a deep love for your hobbies, the disappointment of failing an exam, or the sadness of losing a friend?

If you’re a man, do you think a woman won’t be able to relate with you about a pet dying, the nervousness of starting a new job, or the excitement of getting a nice gift?

Treat each other as human before being men/women, and your social lives will get a lot better.

ROBYoutube · 2023-10-13T00:38:06+00:00

It sounds stupid but I thought of women as different. Like I had to be saying or doing something impressive at all times and quite frankly fuck that. That's a lot of effort.

Eventually I learned they were people and I didn't have to say or do anything that wasn't authentically myself and I'd get along really well with some of them. Good times.

ornamentalwallpaper · 2023-10-13T00:25:00+00:00

I mean, the same thing is you - growing up among bad examples which in my case concentrated around me due to unbalanced cultural norms and expectations. Teenage boys have a card blanche to do whatever they want because boys will be boys (where I grew up), caused a lot of hatred because, it's like, why are you even complaining - you've been afforded every privilege in the book while I am being held to a higher standard.

Tokimonatakanimekat · 2023-10-13T01:15:20+00:00

Huh, I can't even relate to most of my own sex or humanity as a whole.

Comfortable-Dare-307 · 2023-10-13T15:32:46+00:00

I grew up around abusive people. Especially women. My stepfather was physically abusive. My stepmother mother sexually abused me as a young child. And my whole family is neurotic. My mom and aunt are emotionally abusive alcoholics. My grandmother, mother, and aunt are constantly critical of how I look. When I was 4, when the sexual abuse started, my mother left for six months. So I've been abandoned, abused, and neglected by women and men all my life. My ex-wife cheated on me and got pregnant. She was a sex addict and always wanted to have sex and use it to manipulate me. I also have been sexually assaulted by women as an older teen. The only steady, non-abusive person in my life was my father. I've never known a woman in any type of non-freindship relationship (family, romantic, etc) that wasn't abusive or manipulative in some way.

So, yeah, I have issues with women. It's been resolved some. I have some really good friends who are girls from high school and college. (The best romantic relationship I had was in college, but she still cheated on me) I get along great with my female boss and co-workers. I know there are good women out there. I was just unlucky not to meet any really great women until I was in my early twenties.

Enflamed-Pancake · 2023-10-13T16:26:19+00:00

Relating to is too broad a term, I think. I have no issues socialising with men or women. Both of my closest friends are women, and I previously worked on a majority women team at work, so I’ve never had issue relating to women. I also have a good relationship with my sister and mother.

Where I had issues was in understanding why I was unattractive to women when I would attempt to flirt or show romantic/sexual interest. How I resolved this was through enough social exposure - seeing which guys had success and which didn’t, and appropriately placing myself on the scale. I never managed to solve the issue, but I understand it better now.

Virtan · 2023-10-13T03:18:42+00:00

Autism

DerayRevan · 2023-10-13T00:10:55+00:00

"what do you think caused this"

Am a guy, of course l can't relate with the opposite sex especially in the context of dating

tacticaltossaway · 2023-10-13T00:15:28+00:00

I find most behavior adequately explained if you assume that most people are irrational, amoral opportunists.

wtknight · 2023-10-13T00:50:33+00:00

I just talked to enough women online and found the ones who were weird like me. Not every woman out there is some normie.

13choppedup2chopped · 2023-10-13T01:08:46+00:00

I don’t like attention on me. I like women. I like sex. I like women’s energy and how they make names for everything. But 9/10, if a woman is giving her attention to me, I stress out and act out. I speak too fast or lose my train of thought, or say something strange or start moving and frightening. If I get to the dating or sex stage, the woman needs to be patient with me or lean into my awkward behavior.

2023-10-13T00:46:11+00:00

I can rarely relate to women

They receive unlimited attention, positive or not they have a social life.

No one gives a shit about me besides me not being a complete homeless bum.

That’s the difference

upsidemaze · 2023-10-13T07:44:23+00:00

Women are 95 percent like men.

We men have testosterone surging through our body. Its does pretty interesting things in our minds. It tones down the volume of our emotions. It create different rewards mechanisms so makes us seek more adventure, challenges etc. It improves our situational awareness. It helps her disassociate things from "feelings" attached to them so that we can think more logically at the moment. It gives incredible clarity of mind. Read about men who started TRT, and they will tell you that their brain fog lifted instantly.

So why women are different. Because they feel emotions strongly then us . They feels good about different things then us.

They have less situational awareness so they literally have less information about surroundings to make a same conclusion as you. They don't find it natural to disassociate feelings with things.

Women are as intelligent as men, many studies have shown it. Men don't have more logical capabilities then women. Its just becomes their default setting because it "rewards" them. Women can and do train to become more logical by default.

There was a post on marriedredpill about levels of identity. You should check it out.

Edit- FOund it

Three Levels of Identity

YouShouldGetLaid · 2023-10-13T09:58:17+00:00

Why would I want to relate to women? I barely relate with most men.

jpla86 · 2023-10-13T14:06:18+00:00

I just never got along with them whenever I did interact with them. Maybe it’s the way I looked? Maybe it was my personality? Whatever.

Never had female friends, don’t know any women personally and I don’t have many females in my family either.

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keebydee · 2023-10-13T00:51:03+00:00

Hmm, I actually don't know

Mr-LBN · 2023-10-13T04:51:56+00:00

An asperger-esque mind.

I can explain that further if you'd want as it's not just with the opposite sex?

Many_Dragonfly4154 · 2023-10-13T07:18:58+00:00

Because I have a hard time relating to anyone regardless of sex

mrs_seng · 2023-10-13T11:22:32+00:00

I grew up with bad examples of men. Usually it involved alcohol and beating their wives.

But getting out, meeting people showed me that not ALL men do that.

There are alcoholic men, there are violent men, sensitive men, caring men, empathic men.

It's the same with women.

Carloverguy20 · 2023-10-13T13:32:50+00:00

It was most likely due to strict cultural norms growing up my parents placed onto me. Having close relations with the opposite gender at a young age was taboo. How I was able to fix it, by rebelling against their ideas and beliefs, and I started to talk to girls in school and online, and I realized that they aren't these scary individuals and are normal people just like me. I used to be terrified to talk to girls, but over time I've overcome this. The majority of the opposite gender has been nothing but nice, sweet, wholesome towards me, and probably been more supportive than the guys around me. Women aren't evil malicious people, Hollywood feeds lies into everyone.

PleasuresofSin · 2023-10-13T18:59:53+00:00

Female entitlement

Wattehfok · 2023-10-13T19:12:24+00:00

Went to an all boys school. It was fine, but I missed out on socialisation with women growing up. As a result, women were mysterious, sexy aliens.

I went on to awkwardly meet, talk to and flirt with them at uni, till I befriended a couple and worked out that they’re not fundamentally different to men, there’s just a few social niceties you need to observe around them to not come across as creepy/threatening/overbearing.

Jazzlike_Worth_9908 · 2023-10-14T14:54:34+00:00

I completely relate. I used to view women as those special creature so different than men and i used to struggle.

I was able to fix it when i understood that we are almost the same

FatefulMender89 · 2023-10-15T19:10:46+00:00

Growing up I was physically and verbally abused by my mom, saw my aunt as very controlling, had female teachers that were mean and nasty to me and found myself wishing I had siblings so I wouldn’t be alone in all of this. Plus my dad was away from home for two weeks at a time because of his job and I always knew that was why the marriage lasted because literally anybody would’ve needed a break from my mom even if it meant busting your ass on a fishing boat. This left me with no desire for marriage or family when I got older and the only value I saw in women was sex while they were young and attractive. Unfortunately I was fat, ugly, hairy and had kind of a downbeat vibe that was off putting so I couldn’t make it happen. In my 20s I managed to get sex over the course of a year and that’s the reason I haven’t done anything horrible in the world because otherwise I may have. I don’t know how it is for most people but I always get something when I’m about to explode. That’s my best explanation

MatildaBuQuick4 · 2023-10-19T12:43:26+00:00

TBH, generalizing the opp. sex ain't cool. We're all unique, not just X/Y/Z. Think - a woman might get the hype of a new job, a man could totally feel you on the loss of a pet. Treat each other as human first, not just M/F. It'll level up your social life. &&

Title	Those who have/had trouble relating to the opposite sex, what do you think caused this? Were you able to fix it?
Author	Felizem_velair_
Upvotes	6
Comments	51
Date	October 13, 2023 12:07 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/176ljpg/those_who_havehad_trouble_relating_to_the/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/those-who-havehad-trouble-relating-to-the-opposite.1234949 https://theredarchive.com/post/1234949

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