It's always one straw that breaks the camel back...

6TenHaze · 2023-10-20T14:31:36+00:00

Stop talking to her for a while

DeadBedroomRealTalk · 2023-10-20T14:45:09+00:00

This is classic “I lost respect for my husband and am bored” type of behavior.

The answer is almost always to focus on yourself. Lift weights, make some new friends, and put time into a hobby. Whatever you do, don’t focus on her

Significant_Idea_663 · 2023-10-20T15:09:20+00:00

My STBX followed the pattern described in OP to the letter. She has Borderline PD per therapist. However her behavior is borderline psychotic and she is malignantly narcissistic. Just a conniving snakelike bad person with a malevolent intent. When she gains the upper hand, you’re toast. When she loses (rare) she sheds crocodile tears..Once again, just a bad human being. I could not have chosen a worse one, congratulations to me for my selection, but I digress. GTFO there now, this is an emergency but I don’t want to frighten you. Stop showing ANY emotions, file for divorce. The End.

Suggest_a_User_Name · 2023-10-20T15:52:41+00:00

This was my now Ex-wife. Married 25 years. She did this exact same thing on and off for most of our marriage until about three years before I split where it was EVERYTHING.

It wasn’t aggravating. It was frightening. She would blame me for things SHE did. Example: she wanted to book a family vacation to Mexico one summer. Found a great place and wanted to book this family suite but didn’t want to until she knew what my bonus was going to be. I wasn’t going to find out until a month later. I SPECIFICALLY and REPEATEDLY (because she kept bringing it up) told her to book it because I was pretty certain it was going to be sizable. And if for some reason it wasn’t, we could cancel it (and I checked. There would have been no penalty). She said she didn’t want to go through the hassle of canceling it.

I get told what my bonus will be and it’s sizable, more than enough. Well she waited too long and all these deluxe family suites she wanted were sold out. You know what she said? She says “Well this wouldn’t have happened if you had let me book it and not wait to find out what your bonus was going to be.” My jaw dropped. I told her that wasn’t true and she laughed and said “You’re so defensive. You can’t accept blame.” However our 16 year old daughter piped up and said “No, Mom. You were the one who wouldn’t book it.” She didn’t reply. Just changed the subject. Later all she said was “What’s done is done.”

We separated a year and half later. Divorced a couple of years after.

woundedsurfer · 2023-10-20T14:54:49+00:00

Separate. I know a lot of people on this subreddit are not a fan of separation before divorce, but it sounds toxic and both of you could benefit from getting away and clearing some of that anger and resentment. Staying together in this situation only allows those feelings to build and fester, which in turn, can promote a brutal divorce. Cooler heads prevail. Anger, hurt feelings, resentment, etc. are very to harmful to the soul.

I’ve been separated from my wife for over a month and it’s allowed me to gain a whole new perspective on where we sit as a married couple. Not gonna lie, the first two weeks of separation were ROUGH (still are at times) but I take it day by day. I’m starting to realize that I don’t need nor want someone who doesn’t love me. I deserve better. 17 years together with two kids later and I’m now discovering maybe we were never right for each other to begin with. Idk.

jimsmythee · 2023-10-20T15:28:39+00:00

Yes! Same here! The constant "you are wrong about this and this and this." This is where I got tired of her BS, right before I had enough and filed.

The way she back seat drove. She had just totaled her car (again!) and we didn't even make it out of the neighborhood before she started to back seat drive. I told her, "No no. I'm fine." Seriously, I don't take driving advice from someone who that has totaled every car they have ever driven.

She didn't like the way I was washing the glass baking dish. I said, "fine, you can do it yourself" and I handed her the sponge.

She wanted me to stop and bring home an ICEE from the 7-11. She bitterly complained that it was too watery. I said, "Don't drink it." Each time she started to complain, I said, "Don't drink it then." Then she complained again. I told her, "Fine, then walk your sorry ass up to the 7-11 and get your own god damn ICEE. But you ain't taking my car."

Jimbothebimbo696969 · 2023-10-20T20:45:54+00:00

Why does every divorce sound so similar for us guys. Wtf?!? I will never remarry

salty-sheep-bah · 2023-10-20T16:15:16+00:00

Everything is a debate.

iSurvivedltd · 2023-10-21T01:14:16+00:00

Get rid of her ASAP bro. She sounds like a headcase.

And forget her bday. As men, I find we are too nice. You think if it was your bday she would spare her feelings to make sure you have a celebratory bday? Absolutely not.

Save yourself the embarrassment, neglect, sex and ridicule and do zero for her bday.

Think wisely pal

UseResponsible4368 · 2023-10-21T01:37:19+00:00

This is one of the BIGGEST reasons for divorce. Another one is sabotaging anything you're trying to do; mine liked to pick a fight with me on the way out the door to do sales calls as my second job.

She would wait until I woke up, had breakfast, got dressed, and start a fight just as I was stuffing my keys and wallet in my pocket.

At the time, she was "Starting a business" which apparently involved starting 5 different tasks, working on them for 15 minutes each in succession, getting nothing done, then taking a hour "meal break" that turned into a 2 hour TV binge.

Character-Unit1723 · 2023-10-20T22:00:13+00:00

SOCIOPATHY. go do some reading on google about projection, blame shifting, and inability to internally process emotions. your welcome. get the fuck out of there.

NotSoStraightArrow · 2023-10-20T21:00:04+00:00

Shut it down now. I assume you’ve spoken to her about your feelings, and it didn’t matter. Go grey rock. Get a good lawyer, and keep it to yourself. If you must confide in someone, make sure it’s a trusted friend you’ve known a long time. You didn’t say how long you were married or if you reside in a marital property state. Again, consult an attorney. If you can do this without raising any suspicion, start focusing on her behavior and patterns. Write them down. This may help later when you do mental gymnastics trying to convince yourself that you are not seeing what is actually staring you smack dab in the face. She may have checked out. Furthermore, she may have checked in with someone else. That could be where the pent up hostility is coming from—you are simply in her way.

swearbear3 · 2023-10-21T04:03:07+00:00

My ex did this as well. It started the moment she had a lot of trauma resurface. That situation eventually led to our divorce in just a few months. I swear to god it’s over. She doesn’t want to admit it yet maybe, but it’s over. Get out before she finds a reason to blame it all on you.

TakeBackWhat · 2023-10-22T06:46:47+00:00

Only skimmed this cuz I’m heading out, but I observed this:

THEY LOATHE ANY MOMENTS THAT MAKE THEM FEEL SOMEHOW LESS INTELLIGENT THAN HUBBY.

and from my skim, I’m betting dollars to donuts that you hold/held that role, even if it was through simple things like RESEARCH, SOURCES, SCIENTIFIC METHOD and the like.

Now I see why “they” want “MOARE WIMMEN INN. S.T.I.M.”!!

TakeBackWhat · 2023-10-22T06:50:21+00:00

Troll her, subscribe to shit like Popular Science, Medical Journals, Mensa Monthly, expand and display your non-fiction portion of your library, get some cool ass Bookends, get super active in the phone app that tied to your library card.

Bitchez hate Bookends!

Chad and Tyrone are rarely INTELLECTUALLY CURIOUS. yeah she’s being petty and projecting but I’m so serious about the BOOKENDS!

Report back in 45 days!

🧠🧠🧠🧠🎖️👆🏾🧠🧠🧠🧠🚀

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Title	It's always one straw that breaks the camel back...
Author	njcuban123
Upvotes	44
Comments	35
Date	October 20, 2023 1:47 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/17cbp5w/its_always_one_straw_that_breaks_the_camel_back/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/its-always-one-straw-that-breaks-the-camel-back.1235756 https://theredarchive.com/post/1235756

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