Is love real?

Philipparty · 2024-01-13T22:49:19+00:00

I honestly think you have to experience it to belive it. I also used to think "love is just friendship+attraction", but there us a very distinct feeling. That feeling is the same that can make you attracted to someone that isnt attractive.

Tbh, only way i know to get it is going out and meeting people. Not bars/clubs, but more social things (parties with friends of friends works, as long as its social).

Attraction gets you to talk to them, and mabye sleep with them. Love is something else. Its like waking up one day and realizing you cant stop thinking about that one person, even if you didnt find them that attractive before

Stargazer1919 · 2024-01-14T01:44:53+00:00

Find people who genuinely love each other and observe. You'll know it when you see it.

Beguile_ · 2024-01-14T04:25:20+00:00

I don't normally post on stuff like this but I feel like I need to say something important here, and it might land and it might not...

Love, attraction, relationships... life with another person... its far more complicated than see right now. Just have fun and be respectful of others... If you find someone that you really enoy, and they really enjoy you, do your best to try and remember, as the days turn to months and months turn to years, that you enjoy their company and that you respect them... try and remember that, then also try and remember to make sure that they can feel that you enjoy their company and that you respect them. And you deserve the same.

You cannot boil a relationship spanning years and kids and good times and bad times and family crises and financial crises and the gamut of human experience down to primitive sparks of attraction, or even love.

I guarantee you, that if you find yourself pairing up with another human, you will fall in and out of love many times, you will have to work hard to meet one anothers needs, you will be fucking like rabbits one day and reading about dead sex bedrooms another.

Life is messy dude, and immensly complicated, and beautiful and sad, and HARD, and sometimes easy and light... you are going to share that all with someone else? Sometimes you will know how to support one another and sometimes not..

Love is real, attraction is real, duty is real, its all real, but at the end of the day you can only control your own behaviour, and even that is up for debate. Love is what you make it, it'll be shallow if that is what you bring to the table. You have one life, make love count the best you can, and hope those around you do the same.

Ecstatic-Priority488 · 2024-01-13T22:55:00+00:00

I think it can be real but it's not as flowery as popularly portrayed. & it requires a lot of effort. It's partly a skill that both parties have to develop. & also depends on having good character qualities such as loyalty & honesty.

It's not easy, but that's what makes it beautiful. That you are capable of being a dependable partner who keeps their word & that you have someone else who does & feels the same. This, I believe, greatly improves your self-esteem & allows you to be a better & more stable person that can really have a good impact on their community/society.

At least this is my point of view.

Justwannaread3 · 2024-01-13T22:53:30+00:00

I’m not sure I understand your question. Are you saying you think love is only sexual attraction? It’s not.

bluemagex2517 · 2024-01-14T02:51:00+00:00

I feel that love is shallow

I honestly think that nothing replaces the primitive sparks of attraction. I don't want to believe in that, how do I think the opposite?

This is a very confusing question. Those things aren't in contradiction. You can genuinely be in love and also have that primitive spark of attraction. They aren't mutually exclusive. The can exist independently, but in other cases can be complimentary.

Shallowness is market by a lack of multi-facetedness. Physical attraction is only shallow if it's the only basis for a relationship. Most healthy relationships are based on a multitude of things including physical attraction, and therefore not shallow.

Two people who only find each other hot but don't have any other compatibility = shallow relationship.

Two people who find each other hot and are compatible in multiple other dimensions = not a shallow relationship.

SweelFor- · 2024-01-13T23:41:31+00:00

Live in reality and observe it

idkagoodusername-19 · 2024-01-14T04:29:30+00:00

how do you love? because if you yourself have pure, true love inside of you to offer, then thats how you'll know its real. thats how i knew it was real when i doubted, and i hoped i'd find somebody who loved the same and thankfully i did!

also, surely you've loved somebody platonically before. and surely you recognise that platonic love differs from say love for a child? if these kinds of love are real then why do you doubt that a different kind of love like romance exists?

TypicalProfit8475 · 2024-01-14T05:35:54+00:00

Easy love is a verb. It’s what we choose that matters.

spiraldinosaur · 2024-01-14T16:04:45+00:00

Yes love is real. I've been in love many times and I know what it feels like, and I know it is everything but shallow.

I could say that love is the primative spark of attraction, just developed over time into something stronger, and typically based on much more than simple physical attraction. I could say that it's a biological phenomenon that we developed in our evolution to help strengthen social/familial bonds that improved the probability of our genes being passed on; a couple that love each other will have more children, parents that love their children will care for them as they grow, children that love their parents will care for them as they age.

But none of that could tell you what it feels like. You have to experience it first hand.

Soft-Neat8117 · 2024-01-14T17:07:40+00:00

I don't understand love. I've never felt love for any person. Not even family. My feelings for people range from hatred to begrudging tolerance. Maybe some people I kind of like but not enough that I actually enjoy being around them for more than a couple of minutes.

I think I may be a sociopath.

astral1 · 2024-01-15T01:02:47+00:00

Look up Kant’s ‘disinterested gaze’ And—- “the importance of beauty” by Roger Scruton (Vimeo has it free)

Difficult_Ferret2838 · 2024-01-15T01:40:14+00:00

Define "real"

l00ks-p1lled · 2024-01-15T20:39:48+00:00

(romantic) Love is the emotional side of strong attraction but in order to exist there needs to be the physical side too

So yeah (romantic) love exists but it's conditional

emta_official · 2024-01-16T14:24:50+00:00

Love is real, I've been in love couple of times and I felt they loved me back then.

DangerStarfish · 2024-01-26T11:55:35+00:00

I've yet to observe a heterosexual relationship that isn't transactional. Honestly I think people shack up to remedy the fact that rent and mortgage is much higher than the wages that a human can earn working 1 job.

Title	Is love real?
Author	vladiVP
Upvotes	8
Comments	52
Date	January 13, 2024 10:33 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/19605xh/is_love_real/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/is-love-real.1242903 https://theredarchive.com/post/1242903

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