I am terrified of not being married with kids by the age of 35?

Stargazer1919 · 2024-01-23T02:17:18+00:00

If you aren't interested in socializing, why would you want to get married and have kids? You'd have to socialize with them.

bluemagex2517 · 2024-01-23T02:26:00+00:00

So I am a serious home body and don’t socialise that much
I’m not talking to any girls and online dating is atrocious

and

What should I do?

Seems really obvious you should socialize more and talk to women in real life. Focusing on socializing in a non-romantic way with both men and women for a long while before you try to romantically engage a woman.

You have zero of the social skills necessary to be a good partner/husband. If you want to be one, you have to build those skills.

If you get into that arranged marriage, you're in for a really rough awakening.

ShinyTotoro · 2024-01-23T02:43:24+00:00

What do you need the marriage or the kids for?

Right_Check_6353 · 2024-01-23T01:33:41+00:00

Why is 35 the number you picked?

HappyRainbowSparkle · 2024-01-23T03:03:01+00:00

So what effort are you making to meet someone? What exactly do you mean by quality women?

squirrelscrush · 2024-01-23T02:43:45+00:00

You have time man. Make some friends while you're in university, preferably female friends to get a social circle. Through them you can meet much more women. It's okay to not date online but making friends is no harm.

mikey_weasel · 2024-01-23T03:47:28+00:00

So I am a serious home body and don’t socialise that much

I’m not talking to any girls and online dating is atrocious

I mean yeah you are going to have to change that. Either figure out online dating and/or work on your social life. I'd vote "social life" since it has a lot of other benefits.

Also somewhat based on this post and somewhat based on your post history maybe do some serious reconfiguring how you think about women. You've got some serious hangups going on right now which aren't going to make your journey easy.

And another also, you doing some therapy or similar? Like have you though about anxiety at all?

Mrgeorgen7 · 2024-01-23T07:52:20+00:00

Do the opposite of what you are doing right now. If you need help then seek help.

PutsWomenOnPedestal · 2024-01-23T19:54:00+00:00

Why do you want to get married? Do you even know? “I want a trad wife and lots of kids” is not an answer. I’m asking you to introspect and understand what exactly is driving you. Who is applying this pressure ?

yacht_clubbing_seals · 2024-01-23T15:16:19+00:00

How many times are you gonna post this? I doubt you’re getting any new answers.

idiosyncrassy · 2024-01-23T18:16:18+00:00

If you lack the motivation and energy to socialize and make an effort to support other people, then for the love of god, don't get married or have kids.

The world is already 100% full of checked-out fathers who don't participate in their relationships with their spouse or family.

A wife and kids aren't some sort of loot crate that proves you succeeded in life. They are people who also have needs.

Puzzleheaded-Ear4271 · 2024-01-23T13:40:17+00:00

I think you should talk to a counseller. I also come to the internet for advice on stuff but often we don't need Internet advice, we need someone in real life to talk to us one on one about what's worrying is. A counsellor will help you figure out some of the false equivalences you are drawing. There's a lot here, and if it's genuinely worrying you a decent amount, I advise getting someone to work with you on all this in the real world.

miyagikai91 · 2024-01-23T21:09:30+00:00

Therapy’s all I have.

xweert123 · 2024-01-24T02:36:57+00:00

I'm confused by why you're asking for advice for this. What kind of answer do you even want? You've pretty much said you don't want to do the thing that you need to do in order to meet new people and develop relationships. What kind of advice do you expect to receive when you are already opting out of doing step 1 of what you need to do in order to do this?

I'm an introvert myself but being an introvert doesn't need to stop you from simply interacting with people.

xvszero · 2024-01-23T02:25:51+00:00

I am also leaving university soon and I am very worried I won’t find quality women after university?

I very, very heavily worried about this as well. But I still met a lot of women. Thank god for the Internet.

Slat3r10 · 2024-01-23T05:22:52+00:00

For me its more being terrified of not finding someone to spend my younger years

HotnSpicyMasala · 2024-01-23T03:31:36+00:00

It is good to have expectations of yourself. For any dillusional people around you telling you not to have expectations, they will fall behind and have many regrets as they age. Age IS a number. Your instincts are correct. The I advice I will give you, is the same that I will give my children.

Ask yourself what qualities you want in a wife and in the future mother of your children. 2.Then ask yourself if you are a man that THAT type of woman would want.

If you are not that kind of man yet, work on those qualities. It could take 1 or 2 years before you brgin to embody those qualities as a man. Once you begin to change, you will draw the right type of woman into your life. Also, after putting in the hard work, your confidence will improve and you will have strong standards in eho you allow into your circle. Standards will help you keep the wrong women out of your life.

How do I know all this? This is exactly what I did. In my 20s, I was surrounded by people who had no direction. I separated myself from them and focused on my career growth, working out and staying away from the party scene. After some rough patches I managed to get a really cool career and built a nice healthy body. Eventually my friend's wife mentioned to me that I was marriage material 😆 and introduced me to her friend. Her friend was a really good girl. The first time I met her, I knew I was going to marry her. She was the woman of my dreams and SHE WANTED ME.

We are now married with 2 beautiful children. Meanwhile most of the dillusional "age is nothing but a number" people that were around me in my early 20s have crashed and burned.

Become the man of the woman of your dreams.

oldcousingreg · 2024-01-24T00:14:15+00:00

You have to reject this mindset. The world doesn’t worth this way, and thinking like this is what will prevent you from achieving your goals.

nycsee · 2024-01-25T01:51:23+00:00

First of all, can you tell us your current age? Sex- assuming guy, but maybe not? Heritage ? Family expectations ? You mention arranged marriage, so I assume religious. If you’re fine with an arranged marriage, and an introvert who hates socializing, why don’t you go that route? Seems like a no brained. You mention you’re finishing in university; I assume you’re quite young. As a male, you don’t need to worry the way women do. As long as you’re kind and not a troll or a loser financially, finding a woman shouldn’t be hard. Go on the apps and be sincere. I’m 35 and an unmarried white woman staring down a weird reality in the face, just fyi.

Title	I am terrified of not being married with kids by the age of 35?
Author	bigflame123
Upvotes	8
Comments	38
Date	January 23, 2024 1:31 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/ExRedPill
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/exredpill/comments/19dcisl/i_am_terrified_of_not_being_married_with_kids_by/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/ExRedPill/i-am-terrified-of-not-being-married-with-kids-by.1243565 https://theredarchive.com/post/1243565

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