Percentage of people that turn from romantic to "skeptical" about love and viceversa

LordArtichud · 2024-02-26T17:47:40+00:00

I think it's very common for decent men to be become jaded by the fact that many women actively choose toxic men who mistreat or even beat them while getting no attention themselves. This forces them in turn to become toxic in order to attract women themselves.

krackedy · 2024-02-26T17:43:16+00:00

I'd say it's more common to go from romantic to bitter after bad experiences.

I went the opposite though. I was kind of an uncaring dick until I met my wife now I'm romantic and shit with her. Before her I think I just always had walls up.

Purple_Cruncher_123 · 2024-02-26T17:59:07+00:00

I imagine it's much easier to become jaded and traumatized by negative experiences. Negativity sticks and makes a much stronger impression than when things go 'correctly.'

The opposite as you cited happens as well, though it would be hard to put a gauge on it. Happy people don't tend to go make social media posts about the state of dating, they just sort of do their own thing. I do know people who were raised to be suspicious of romance and advances and they 'lucked' into a good partner and stay mushy in love through the years. They are essentially cloaked from view, the Silent Majority^TM if you will.

Makuta_Servaela · 2024-02-26T18:24:52+00:00

I would imagine it is way more likely for a happy person to end up jaded than a jaded person to end up happy. Mainly because for a happy person to end up jaded, they just have to go about their life as normal and have something mess up (your partner decides to cheat, becomes abusive, abandons you with the kids, stops showing affection, you just happen to struggle to date, etc.)

Versus to go from jaded to happy, you have to generally be open to the idea of becoming happy. You have to make a change, even if you don't realise it.

Objective_Ad_6265 · 2024-02-26T19:09:20+00:00

Well it's easier to get your heart broken than healed...

wtknight · 2024-02-26T18:17:36+00:00

Becoming jaded is more common. Some people who were previously jaded eventually meet great partners, though, which is the reason why people shouldn’t give up, in my view.

Zabadoodude · 2024-02-26T18:59:15+00:00

Romantic to not is probably more common as people become jaded after bad experiences, but the reverse isn't rare either.

Personally I went from being pragmatic to romantic after finding the first woman I genuinely love in my 30's, after two decades of dating and relationships.

Toxic_LigmaMale · 2024-02-27T12:48:54+00:00

I used to be a romantic… once. I rarely see people go from jaded to romantic though, unless they were already romantic to start with.

TRTGymBro · 2024-02-26T19:05:45+00:00

I mean if you are a 14 year old boy or girl it's natural to be romantic and sappy. If you are 24, 34 and older, to still hold on to romantic tropes is just sad.

Mayfloweronthewall · 2024-02-26T20:43:54+00:00

I was so idealistic about love when I was a child then my teen years hit me like a brick and it only got worse.

MistyMaisel · 2024-02-26T20:47:03+00:00

I think most people go through a journey with romance that looks something like:

Wide eyed innocent romantic optimist
Jaded by poor dealings and difficult situations and painful realizations
Return to romance with new eyes after having learned how to realistically apply what they've learned from the jaded phase in order to create a more adult, realistic, but still ultimately beautifully childish whimsical romance that has all the passion and magic they imagined, but with more discipline and adulthood involved and an acceptance of a lack of perfection.

The thing is, you can keep repeating this cycle if you aren't careful or get unlucky.

TL:DR Plato's Allegory of the cave explains human life cycles don't at me.

Safinated · 2024-02-26T17:43:50+00:00

Most of us just become normies, from both extremes

That’s called….growing up

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Bordbir · 2024-02-26T21:54:34+00:00

I think growing up and learning that men have similar fears around dating made me ease up a bit. Still cautious but a little more inclined to open up. Also learning about why men want what they do. Didn’t make sense to me as a kid/college student. There was a lot I just didn’t understand which lead to more anxiety around dating.

Teleportingtoast284 · 2024-02-27T00:00:10+00:00

Romantic to jaded i would believe.

Having to figure out how relationships and attraction works really takes the magic out of it.

abaxeron · 2024-02-27T02:54:45+00:00

The question is which change is more common?

Im sure many people here in his youth, starting from before puberty were romantic, either social teachings, or seeing close people instructing that directly or indirectly, became at very least non romantic.

GLORIOUS Freudian slip. Very much reflects my impression.

Men, until the third breakup approximately.

But im sure some went the other way around, from non caring about love, to turning into rom com cliches.

Women... All women that have EVER been rom com cliche romantics I'm aware of are made up fictional characters.

CraftyCooler · 2024-02-27T06:55:52+00:00

When i was very young i was a bit disappointed with women - in my social circle there were quite a lot of smart guys who were into various things like music, reading, sport, politics even philosophy, but majority of girls were simply boring. They were nice but they were interested in clothes, gossip, celebrities and that's it. But when i went to university town i've discovered whole different type of women and I was kind of fascinated with them lol. They were smart, kind, I could actually learn from them - so it was like revelation. Many of my friends went the same way.

Siliconmage76 · 2024-02-27T17:40:50+00:00

Love and romance from a confident, based and fully healed person is a wonderful thing indeed.

Love and romance from a clingy, needy insecure and jealous person is creepy and frightening.

Be the first. Don't be the second.

Brazil_doesnt_exist · 2024-02-27T19:47:06+00:00

Romanting to jaded of course.

Romance is a privilege for few and only if they find it they will tell everyone that there is hope for everyone and that your time will come.

Kinda like getting a raise during layoff season and telling everyone that their raise will come if they just wait.

Title	Percentage of people that turn from romantic to "skeptical" about love and viceversa
Author	saronyogg
Upvotes	10
Comments	27
Date	February 26, 2024 5:35 PM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/PurplePillDebate
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/PurplePillDebate/comments/1b0ne14/percentage_of_people_that_turn_from_romantic_to/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/PurplePillDebate/percentage-of-people-that-turn-from-romantic-to.1246496 https://theredarchive.com/post/1246496

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