No issue getting dates but physical escalation is a mystery for me

Archyblackcat · 2022-09-24T19:17:35+00:00

I usually just pull them towards me and kiss them… or try holding their hand while walking… if they hold your hand back it’s pretty much a done deal, kiss them as soon as you can after that

Zealousideal6669 · 2022-09-24T19:58:51+00:00

Sexual dominance is one of not the biggest turn on for girls so after a while I've become more and more confident and dominant I even surprised sometimes how it makes who whole business so much easier. I've done it for the first time as well okay if I got any lmr I'd probably messed it up so I had a bit luck that it was that easy but once you reach the point when everything's become hot and heavy and escalation is getting more serious and obvious that it's gonna be sex or nothing else it's even more important to hold your confidence and dominance. Maybe one more bonus tipp if you notice in the moment that she's down but you don't know that it's gonna go down I usually just hold strong eye contact and tease. Go forward and pull away. It's always makes her crazy and want the sex even more

jtaylor27141 · 2022-09-24T20:42:59+00:00

I am also from Toronto and get tons and tons of matches on the apps. When women like you, they make it easier for you. I’ve found the best ones I’ve met are ones that had intense interest on the app from the get go.

She’ll ask you to come sit beside her instead of across from her. She will make it easy. You’re not going to sleep with every girl you go out with.

The 3rd date you mention sitting across from you, just brush her shoulder lightly when you make a joke or lightly touch her arm when being playful. Sitting across doesn’t make it weird. I’ve had girls escalate on me sitting across. Don’t overthink it.

Another thing you can do is ask her about her watch or her bracelet and touch her arm when you’re talking about it. Or ‘OMG I just noticed your hands are so much smaller than mine’. And put your palm up and she’ll put hers on yours.

As far as awkward texting after dates, texting should be used to schedule dates only. I always let the girl reach out instead of texting her after the date.

If she doesn’t text at all after the date, then it’s likely she didn’t like you as much as you thought. If she texts right after the date on the same night she is very very interested, but I usually ask for the next date the next time she reaches out after that. If she liked you, she will reach out again.

revente · 2022-09-24T18:45:50+00:00

It seems that you're aware of your shortcomings and what needs to be changed. So the answer is: Practice.

incognito3107 · 2022-09-25T08:43:37+00:00

Intent and desire is always in the air, you just need to make it smooth and natural. Paradoxically, not by making detailed plans but by paying attention to emotions and dynamics between you in present moment. Set a good background for intimate escalation and just make these very little steps forward. It's more of a play, not an exam.

VelvetThunderFinance · 2022-09-26T00:01:10+00:00

No joke, check this dude out, he's helped me a lot: Coach Kyle

The way you express intent is gradually. Remember, the whole date is foreplay. Whatever you do, break the touch barrier. Hug her and hold her for at least 5 seconds. Then compliment her. Whatever you do, don't sit opposite each other, always next to each other. I always arrive 15 min early on first dates, scope the place, get place where I position the seats at an angle side by side, so that when we're sat next to each other, as the date progresses, our knees, thighs touch. BUT, you get to that point gradually. Own the space around you, lean back, and maintain eye contact when speaking or listening. Try to show through your eyes you're into her. Practise it in the mirror. Don't have large open eyes, or slits. Have like a slight squint. Make her break eye contact. Then you could try this move: First Date move.

And one important thing: go in with the mindset "How will she impress me?" not how you will impress her. This totally shifts the dynamic. Learn to own the space, chill, take your time, tease, even disagree with her at times, maintain eye contact, and know how to touch but also let go at times. Then go for a walk after. You play your cards right, she'll ask YOU for a kiss.

TheGamersPad · 2022-09-25T11:55:11+00:00

I seem to have the same issue as well. Its the first time I've been single for about 5 years and a girl came up to me and started talking to me in a bar a few days ago. We were talking for hours and she seemed really interested. She even said "I'm supposed to drive back tonight but idk how" when she was obviously over the limit. I should have invited her back but I don't know why I didn't, I think I was more focused on what the worse that could happen as I was pretty drunk and didn't want to embarrass myself, plus I've never taken anyone back before. I also liked her more than to take her back for 1 night. I didn't even kiss her, as much as I wanted to because I've never kissed on a first date. I got her number and I messaging her the next day but she's being very confusing. She asked for my social media and I said we should hang out again. She just liked my message but didn't reply back. I'm pretty sure I've f'd it now by not making the moved. I guess I'm not used to being single

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-09-24T18:24:20+00:00

1 I physically escalated to makeouts on all 3 dates. With each date we get more physically into each other, but after the 3rd date, texting was awkward and that fizzled out.

Because you didn't bring her to your bedroom. You were too weak to make a move so she lost interest. Aim to make a move to get her into your bed at the end of the first date and if not, then the 2nd. Show intent, make her feel wanted.

2nd date physically escalated to heavy makeouts in her condo rec room, but I hesitated to escalate further and she had LMR and I didn't know what to do.

Why were you in her condo rec room? Should've gone to her place. Either way, same advice as above. Take action, don't hesitate.

3rd date gave me IOI, it was at a bar and we were sitting across from each other. I failed to escalate. I suck at escalating when we are in situations when we sit across from each other.

You don't need to physically escalate at the table or sit next to her on a first date. Save it for once you leave the venue. Focus on building mental attraction through conversation and then invite her over at the end of the date, then physically escalate to sex back at yours or outside the venue/her place to a makeout if she declined the invite. This is how I do it and it works wonders for me.

4th date we played tennis twice on 2 dates and on the last date we bantered well and dove into each other, but again sitting across from each other makes physical escalation weird.

See above. Also, save activity dates for 2nd/3rd dates. Best first date is a drink at a bar to get to know each other. Best 2nd date is making dinner at yours. Best 3rd date is an activity date.

5th date had a dinner date again failed to physically escalate.

Once again, see above. Also, avoid dinner dates as first dates. Way too high of an investment. Just get a simple drink at a bar.

But i feel like I am holding back on showing my sexual desire and intent. That voice in my head that tells me to make a move, it lacks alot of confidence.

This is exactly what it is and women are sensing it, turning them off.

I am not a player, I am not someone who wants to hit and quit it.

Don't think of it that way. You're not hitting it and quitting it. You're simply taking the interaction to the next level which is what the girl wants too at the end of the day.

I lack sexual confidence unless the other shows sexual interest in me and then it's like game on.

Here's a hack: if you invite a girl back to yours at the end of the date and she says yes, it means she has sexual interest in you, full stop. You just need to give her the opportunity to show that interest by making that invite because she's 99% of the time not going to take that step herself.

Think of it like this: inviting her over is holding out your hand for her, her accepting the invite is her reaching for your hand. If you don't hold out your hand in the first place, she's not going to forcibly grab it of her own volition. If she's into you and she doesn't have reservations about 1st or 2nd date sex, she will say yes. There's your sexual interest so get your game on king.

Source: have been employing this strategy for the past 2 years with amazing results. 93 lays in the past 2 years alone, most of them from 1st or if not, then 2nd dates. Also spent 3 months in Toronto in those 2 years which contributed to 13 of those lays, so it's not location-specific either.

bemore_ · 2022-09-25T06:00:43+00:00

Usually women take longer than you to be ready for sex, depending on their emotional state, they need to warm up before sex. Keep this in mind. The idea of foreplay is important

Maybe kissing is all the same right now, then you try what it's like with no tongue, maybe what it feels like to kiss her neck, how she responds when you bite her neck lightly? Where I'm going with this is having a process focus and not a goal focus, what is your process of foreplay?

Explore these things, moving towards specificity, so it's not just "I escalated to make out" but "I enjoyed her lips and her smell made me want to kiss her neck". This is your "self image" talking, detailing your mental process. Right now it's oriented around pick up, something like "I failed to escalate or I succeeded in escalating", despite yourself

The other thing I wanted to bring up was you waiting till she shows interest, she's doing the same thing

StatisticianNo9364 · 2022-09-25T08:43:49+00:00

First, don't do dinner dates, at least not as the first date. The drawbacks is that you both locked in your chairs and it feels more like an interview than it should, you usually sit across each other so that limits kino possibilities. Also unless you split the bill this is a waste of money on a girl you're not sure you'd attracted to. And if she's there only because of a free meal, do you really wanna have her date you or your wallet.

If you do find yourself sitting across each other, then work your way to fix that. Suggest showing some pics from your trip, funny memes, share some music – and then sit right next to her. Then it's easy to escalate further from that position – take her hand to look at her manicure, maybe look at and gently touch tattoos / jewellery on her hands if she has any.

Basically the idea is to get closer and gauge her reaction. You next to her and see how she reacts to that. Does she lean in or away? If she reacts positively then you escalate further like putting your arm around her.

In the end it's all about practice. You need to get comfortable in a typical date situation.

booniedog1 · 2022-09-25T03:36:07+00:00

You are lucky to be in Toronto. I live just south of the border and feel like an alien in my own hometown. No matches or anything. I go to Toronto and am envious that it's an hour and a half-ish away. It's not like id book a hotel room on the hopes that something will happen.

Aris3048 · 2022-09-26T01:36:12+00:00

I can help with lmr. If this ever happens here's what you say: "Okay. No problem. We don't have to do anything." And then don't do anything else. Balls in her court and now she's horny. You might not get laid that time, but you will next time.

Contango6969 · 2022-09-24T19:00:48+00:00

Just move your hand closer and closer to her pussy or put her hand on your dick. It’s not a rubrics cube

staggerlee718 · 2022-09-24T19:29:26+00:00

Bro you are gay.

The-Dude0411 · 2022-09-25T01:11:19+00:00

IOI?? LMR???

dudededed · 2022-09-24T18:19:53+00:00

How are u getting that many matches

atomant88 · 2022-09-25T07:32:09+00:00

dont touch anyone without their consent. physical escalation starts with verbal game.

dobbs1997 · 2022-09-25T18:07:30+00:00

You care toooooo much about what these women think, I mean what’s more important ? Getting what you want or what these women think about you when you make a move ? You’re holding back your true self so that’s why you’re not getting what you want, let go of the outcome and just see what happens, make your move, say what’s on your mind and if she’s with it then cool , if not, then no worries, onto the next, no hate towards her or anything, just move on .

Title	No issue getting dates but physical escalation is a mystery for me
Author	TheGamersPad
Upvotes	42
Comments	43
Date	September 24, 2022 6:06 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/xmzqtz/no_issue_getting_dates_but_physical_escalation_is/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/no-issue-getting-dates-but-physical-escalation-is.1249442 https://theredarchive.com/post/1249442

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