Should I pursue women or focus on myself

Lucazzz14 · 2022-07-25T15:36:13+00:00

We do what we all do in our adult lives ... we manage our time.

100% focus on yourself. Your work, your ambitions, your health, whatever. No woman will be the answer if you are miserable with your current state.

Also, if you want to pursue women, you have to put in the time and effort to put yourself in social situations. A girl won't fall infront of you if you "focus on yourself" or in reality "I'll ignore women and use that as an excuse". No other way of putting it.

Just don't prioritise a woman and put your life on hold for her. And don't persist if they say "no" or act uninterested. Got no time for that.

bouncypoo · 2022-07-25T16:52:49+00:00

Both big dog, it’s about balance . The better you are the easier it becomes

mxnxcx117 · 2022-07-25T15:21:33+00:00

You should definitely keep focusing on yourself

•meditate to be more comfortable alone

•spend time alone: go on walks, take yourself out to dinner, travel, hit the gym (but don‘t neglect your friends/family completely)

•journal (download Pinterest for inspiration)

•try out new hobbies

lulutrink · 2022-07-25T19:05:01+00:00

You can do both! Don’t chase them, rather attract them while chasing your own life.

2022-07-25T19:08:59+00:00

Focus on yourself.... but if you're out and about, or out at a bar why not chat up a cute girl, it can only add to your life, well most of the time anyways

ExpensiveNinja · 2022-07-25T20:20:53+00:00

If you have to ask, you should probably focus on yourself. You're also 21! Crazy young man. If I could be 21 again I would 1000% focus on myself and really focus on finding and working towards a career I love and just focus on getting my money up. I always grew up with the mindset of "as long as I make enough, I'll be happy". Boy was I just being naive at the time. I would still throw dating in, but my focus would still be on myself.

Honestly, if you can do this for a good 2-3 years you're going to be ahead of everyone and at a point where getting girls is effortless. Even at 30, the dating pool is still large.

Simp4Rukia · 2022-07-25T20:38:43+00:00

You pursue women by focusing on yourself

Silent-Recipe-3600 · 2022-07-25T21:09:54+00:00

When we say “focus on yourself” it means prioritize yourself. If you’re out here chasing and worshipping the ground that she walks on she’ll see you as a fan (this does not just apply to women) Make sure you’re putting in hours at work, hitting the gym, keeping up with your hygiene, and are satisfied with yourself, and then go on dates or have a girlfriend, etc.

rmarden · 2022-07-25T22:25:38+00:00

Some guys will tell you to spend your entire 20s in "monk mode". I disagree. But, I think you should develop a strong base of self development habits, tactics, and mindsets that will allow you to be the best version of yourself.

I was in a worse spot than you at your age but I got out of it by working on myself and flinging myself out into the world.

Work on yourself but don't isolate yourself.

lostintheoverworld · 2022-07-25T16:38:21+00:00

Lol wut is this advice im reading is this not r/seduction anymore??? 100% you gotta start cold approaching/online dating now.

grindforthegold · 2022-07-25T15:40:21+00:00

there is no hoe phase for guys unless you’re chad bro jus hop from gf to gf if you can

JXMMY11 · 2022-07-26T00:27:38+00:00

Stop looking for long term relationships…. Just go out and find women to have good times with at this phase of your life.

fictitious-name · 2022-07-26T06:59:27+00:00

Focus on yourself will eventually and more naturally result in women appearing in your life.

CocoBabeNYC · 2022-07-25T15:55:04+00:00

What's the point of working hard to become a sex machine that never gets used and just rusts?

Theguywhoeats2 · 2022-07-26T00:31:20+00:00

There is always room for both. I have a girlfriend, a sidebitch, and all of these one night stands. You can improve yourself and also find a female when you feel like it. You already claimed that you are attractive, and very confident. So just shoot your shots, yolo and who gives a fuck, just wear a condom.

MrBlack__ · 2022-07-25T17:15:13+00:00

Focus on yourself

I’m 31 and I’ll be going for the same girls you are

21 year old me just couldn’t compete

Focus on yourself then when you are older you can fuck the 21 year olds lol

Keravnos- · 2022-07-25T15:19:44+00:00

whats your job at the movies exactly

JXMMY11 · 2022-07-25T16:08:57+00:00

[permanently deleted]

SnooPets1514 · 2022-07-25T17:17:18+00:00

Both

AngeloMacon · 2022-07-25T17:53:05+00:00

The focus 100% on yourself is for dudes with some serious physical, emotional or social issues that need to be resolved before you go out on the dating scene. You seem like a normal dude which means you need to learn how to balance everything. Put as much effort into women up until it might distract you from school, work, family, close friends, passionate hobbies.

2022-07-25T17:54:35+00:00

They aren’t mutually exclusive. You should be the priority, but you should also be approaching women as you got about your daily routine. You don’t have to set aside hours a day to focus on women, it can literally just be saying hi to the girl behind you in line at Chipotle, or across the table at the library, or beside you in class, etc

No you should not choose to actively avoid pursuing women at 21 when you describe yourself as attractive and confident. Have some well earned fun.

chillbill1220 · 2022-07-25T18:35:00+00:00

If you want a hoe phase without wasting a ton of time/energy you’ll need to go after less attractive women.

Some of the biggest players I know have slept plenty of unattractive women. Trying to sleep with a bunch of hot girls will require lots of game/calibration/rejection.

Personally I’ve never thought a hoe phase was worth it. I don’t like banging ugly chicks but also don’t want to waste my time chasing a bunch of hot chicks when the return on investment is so low.

itchytchy · 2022-07-25T19:44:38+00:00

Focus on yourself and you'll grow your confidencew social circle and overall 'worth' enough to be ready for when the girl of your dreams finds you. There is no 'need' not to pursue girls if you're not interested in meaningless relationships, you can chose to do whatever makes you happier but yeah focusing on yourself might be of great worth for future you!

Squallvash · 2022-07-25T20:14:19+00:00

In the immortal words of the Immortal M.A.F.I.A...

"Fuck bitches, get money..."

NPC1990 · 2022-07-25T20:52:01+00:00

Chase money not women

FranciscotheBull · 2022-07-25T21:12:52+00:00

One hundred percent work on yourself. Be discipled with how things are. Career, college, skill/trade or something to improve yourself on. I would also do networking as well. Don't burn any bridges. Always keep things open. Make friends (male and female). Go to the gym, do any extra curricular activities if able to. Be the best person you can be.

I would also approach women as well, but don't worry if they reject you. Take it gracefully and respectfully ad keep it moving. If they just want to be friends, co-workers, or want to go through a hoe phase, let them do it. You are working on yourself anyways, right? One person will come along at some point. Don't worry about rejection. You won't be the only one. Some women will be rude. Some will ghost you, but don't worry about that. Don't invest time in someone if they aren't willing to invest the same time back to you. We all have been rejected so don't think you are the only person and don't beat yourself up about it or be hard on yourself.

Self respect is self love. Treat yourself don't cheat yourself.

If you need a lifeline, hit me up here.

Blaphrodite · 2022-07-25T21:31:54+00:00

Focus on yourself.

You’re just a horny person with an under developed brain at this time.

Chicagoj1563 · 2022-07-25T21:36:55+00:00

Start with fitness and nutrition. Its a hobby in itself and has its ups and downs and challenges. Get in shape for the next 6-12 months.

Additionally, pick up a few game related products, read a few books, watch some vids. Look for older products you can find online that used to be paid products (rsd hotseat, etc..).

Know something about what mystery had to say about the game, neil strauss, rsd, todd v, and others. You don't have to get into cold approach if you dont want to, but it will help if you understand the fundamentals of attraction and female psychology. Then after a year or so of fitness, you can decide what avenue you want to take it in.

Iamnotthatguypall · 2022-07-25T21:50:21+00:00

Knowing how to seduce women and knowing game is part of being a man imo

Perfect_War5446 · 2022-07-25T22:31:15+00:00

Bro, if a lot a girls are attracted to you and dtf, go for it

strangebuttru · 2022-07-25T22:43:08+00:00

If you're single, there's never a time when you can't do both. They are not mutually exclusive.

JXMMY11 · 2022-07-25T23:18:49+00:00

If you have to chose one then chose the 2nd option cause focusing exclusively on girls will ruin your life. At least from working on yourself you will get some other, long term benefits. I would try to balance the two.

DIamondback470 · 2022-07-25T23:21:32+00:00

Focus on yourself man. The right woman come around when you least expect it.

knueverl17 · 2022-07-26T00:14:51+00:00

Yes.

TheCollector228 · 2022-07-26T00:56:03+00:00

How tall are you

hagakurejunkie · 2022-07-26T02:41:24+00:00

You’re not really using women, you’re actually a breath of fresh air to most of them. A lot of women are not into the weird, creepy feelings and dudes trying to lock them down after they fucked once

Title	Should I pursue women or focus on myself
Author	JXMMY11
Upvotes	41
Comments	102
Date	July 25, 2022 3:04 PM UTC (3 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/w7r944/should_i_pursue_women_or_focus_on_myself/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/should-i-pursue-women-or-focus-on-myself.1253612 https://theredarchive.com/post/1253612

Comments