Why I give up

CompetitionFair7686 · 2022-01-11T23:22:52+00:00

Your insecurity, lack of self esteem and your fragile ego are your biggest problems when it comes to dating. Girls can’t stand guys that are so weak.

Toifamu · 2022-01-12T04:09:01+00:00

Bro if you graduate from a top 3 medical school, i don't see how you can do research with a sample size of 1. Is that how they teach you? You are using 1 women as a measuring stick for all women in existence.

letsgetrandy · 2022-01-11T22:56:07+00:00

she says that there wasn't a "spark", a.k.a I'm not attractive.

She put in more effort with you than she did with Chad, so it's not your "attractiveness" that was the problem... it was chemistry. And frankly, while there definitely are things people can do to encourage chemistry with anyone and everyone, the important parts of chemistry are still largely up to chance -- and that's what dating is all about!

Canadian-Seductioner · 2022-01-11T23:02:34+00:00

at this point I've deleted all dating apps and don't ever talk to women unless they're already my friends.

OP: "I got rejected by one woman so I'm giving up on all women in existence"

You are the walking definition of oneitis bro

have a good body

Define "good body"

I'd give it all up in a heartbeat to become more attractive.

Well then become more attractive. Being attractive isn't only about having good looks.

blahblahblah_yeayea · 2022-01-12T01:12:07+00:00

Physical attractiveness and Chemistry are 2 completely different things...

mynamelastname · 2022-01-11T22:44:23+00:00

Boi, I don’t think she would’ve agreed to go on 3 dates with you without an attraction. It’s probably the conversation y’all were having was friendly or lacking chemistry. I wouldn’t take her decision to not date you anymore as girls would date only hot dudes and chads.

aStonedPanda94 · 2022-01-12T02:34:27+00:00

6-8 hours on the phone is enough for her to subconsciously lose attraction. Like Corey Wayne says, the phone is used for setting dates only. You gave away your mysteriousness and made it seem like you don’t have a busy lifestyle.

2022-01-12T05:06:30+00:00

Hey OP, I just wanted to say that I hear your post loud and clear. There are some folks here who are commenting and telling you to stop whining, and while I do believe that is very good advice, no one is explaining WHY you should do that. Let me break it down like this:

All the superficial traits you’re acknowledging in this post (height, face, chad aesthetics etc) are all things that get men attention. Trust me when I say that there are very few times a girl will say yes to a date to someone they are completely repulsed by. I used to think all the time “this girl is just here to entertain me, she doesn’t think I’m hot” and come to find out they were interested and I just gave off weird vibes. Again, I’ll say this : women won’t go out with someone they are totally repulsed by, so get that insecurity out of your brain. So you are not repulsive. Could you have had different parents with different genes and maybe had more going for you right out the gate? Yes that’s possible. But we see this time and time again where ugly dudes get with hot girls. So if we can clearly see that happening in our social circles, it indicates that confidence and assertiveness are what really excite a woman above being tall and ripped. There are tons of chads out there who suck at seduction, and yes, these chads will be given more chances because they are initially a more exciting choice for women, but if you are looking for long-term relationships you need to be confident and happy with yourself above all.

So far, it seems like you have all the achievements in life to feel good about yourself. You’re also probably wealthy or make decent money if you came from a great school and are in medicine. We like to pinpoint wealth as an axis of acceptance from women; the more rich I am, the more women will like me. Using that logic, despite you having money, you’re still not confident. That explains that even in regards to achievements like wealth, which demonstrate more sheer will and determination, it won’t get you women. Why do rich guys get girls? Yes, it’s true that girls will date for money, but more often than not, those women are not just attracted to the money, they like the confidence that got their men that money. There are differences in type of wealth. The richest people in the world employ and work with many people; the ability to network and socialize is a huge asset. Relationship building is no different from seduction, you need to establish interest without being overbearing. This is why, no matter how fat or broke you are, your ability to listen to someone intently, be genuine in your own desires, and having that mindset of “no matter what happens, I’ll be fine” is extremely assuring to not just women, but people in general.

In your case with this girl, the idea that their co-workers bigged her up to go on more dates probably permeated into your subconscious. I also believe that you are not being honest with yourself of your intentions. If you are looking for a long-term relationship, you have to gauge whether the other person is interested either. I say this to indicate that if you went on dates, had long ass phone convos, and are actively showing her that you have lots of time for her but she isn’t reciprocating that, it indicates an imbalance of attention. If you’re looking for a long term relationship, you need to be viewing the person across from you as a partner. You both have to be equally invested, equally available. If you don’t see equal interest, they don’t meet your needs for a long-term relationship. The paradigm shift will come once you realize that they didn’t meet YOUR needs, not the other way around.

The topic I’m about to broach is very important but not talked about often. My theory is that you are actually just using women as a way to fill your time. “Fill your time” in the sense that the energy you’re investing into these women is simply the energy you could invest in yourself. Being a good cook, enjoying/making art, playing an instrument, having a sport you love, these are all things that enrich your life. The truth of our generation is that weak people operate on pity and strong people operate on self-direction. I would say that you have some internal deficiency when it comes to your place in the world. Feel affirmed and happy for who you are. You are smart, you eat well, you’re in decent shape, with a great job. When I started this paragraph, I wanted to explain why you are using women to fill your time. There are many men out there who think that a women will solve their problems. So lots of men will pursue unavailable women as a means of occupying their time. Don’t be like those men. Find happiness in yourself first. Love yourself and then you’ll see the world open up.

stanthemilkman88 · 2022-01-12T00:46:28+00:00

Don't emotionally invest so much. Also this is reality so go to the gym to get more success.

KaleWeekly · 2022-01-12T03:57:07+00:00

Wtf you talked to her on the phone for 6-8 hours??? I've never talked to my former gf for more than 10 minutes on the phone. In fact, I only called her once for 5 minutes before the first date. You have one-itis. You need to talk to multiple girls at the same time. You are also coming off as really needy, which is a huge turnoff. Relax and be yourself.

5_7pickup · 2022-01-11T23:38:36+00:00

Simp nation

artichoke2me · 2022-01-12T03:52:19+00:00

You were emotionally invested early on. Play it cool and aloof. I highly doubt those guys were a lot more attractive than you are. If she agreed to a date your attractive to her physically.

For example after the first date. Do not text her for 1 week. If she didn’t hit you up. You text her hay what’s up and try to setup a second date.

This is very important if she gives you an excuse. Just respond with “ cool Well hit me up when you want to hangout” If you have her on social media even better go out have fun or try and setup a date with a different girl

Girls get worried about pressure. It needs to be her idea to go out not yours. Never make it seem like you care about her. Split the check. Don’t act like she too good for you. It’s all attitude.

If it’s just about getting laid. Get drunk. Know some pickup lines and hit the bars and clubs.

If it’s marriage and long term relationship I can’t help you but dating apps are the last place to look.

Say yes to every social interaction and get more friends it’s a lot easier to date people in your circle long term.

My best advise is do better and change your attitude. Don’t be thirsty. Don’t over share. Don’t let girls to get to know you too easy. Don’t be an open book. When she’s interested show interest and when she is not showing interest step back.

This is common sense. One last piece of advise date multiple girls. I found I had the most success with girls when I’m talking into 3 girls. I don’t put pressure and I’m more relaxed.

2022-01-11T22:55:15+00:00

Live and learn my friend. Oh, you'll get over it. Believe me, you will. Take a break from dating and then get back out there. Next time, next girl, show less interest in her than she does in you. You're good.

Lost_My_Only_Way · 2022-01-12T04:35:25+00:00

Was she out of your league?

Backheelfields · 2022-01-12T19:39:29+00:00

Yeah sorry this happend to you buddy but yes its strange, women have a lot of time on their hands to go through many hours of dating and even day before they cant take it anymore. maybe next time in the future just read her body language more and maybe try and get a little more flirtacious and physical early on ( not sex but maybe like had holding on the first date and see how she reacts)

Title	Why I give up
Author	BatBottleBank
Upvotes	15
Comments	35
Date	January 11, 2022 10:40 PM UTC (4 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/s1puh4/why_i_give_up/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/why-i-give-up.1269235 https://theredarchive.com/post/1269235

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