If you’re looking for someone as a long term partner, it’s important to be mindful of the qualities you are looking for. As men, we are visually driven. If a woman is extremely attractive, we will sometimes assume automatically that she is someone we should want to be with, especially if it appears other men desire her. This is an ego-based behavior that will have consequences later. If a woman exhibits one or more of these qualities, it’s important to step back, be analytical, and determine if she is a quality person:

1. She is negative. This is the biggest indicator of someone will make you miserable. If she is constantly complaining, talks shit about people she knows, or has a generally dark outlook on life, she will ultimately drag you down. You only want to surround yourself with people who are uplifting, and will push you to be the best version of yourself.

2. Her world revolves around social media. If a woman is constantly checking her social media, or is more concerned about projecting her image, rather than cultivating her development as a person, it is a giant red flag. What is concerning for many of these type of women is that they conflate personal development and developing their image. There are extremely attractive women who are heavily involved in Instagram, and are attempting to build a brand around their image, so this can be an alluring trap. An obsession with social media indicates an underlying insecurity and need of validation and attention from others.

3. She doesn’t communicate in a healthy manner. Instead of being upfront with her emotions in a respectful manner, she holds things in, or voices displeasure through fighting or displays of drama. Despite what movies and other forms of media portray, frantic fighting and making up is not a sign of passion, it is a breakdown in communication, and will wear thin after a while.

4. She treats others around her disrespectfully. She is rude to servers, retail workers, her family, or anyone else in her personal orbit. Those who mistreat others directly are the most insecure type of people out there. They recognize that they could easily be in the same position, and it makes them uncomfortable. They show false displays of superiority to compensate, but it is a false front.

5. She is materialistic. They expect dates to be held at expensive restaurants, they place emphasis on what possessions someone might have instead of their personality, or their values. Status is an attraction point for women, but there are different forms of status, not solely materialistic. It’s fine for someone to enjoy finer things in life, but be observant of how much importance they place on material items. You want to be able to have as much fun with them going Target as you do in a five star restaurant.