We all love to retort this to those that are sometimes starting out on dating. Everyone will feel good, and they know that they should go for someone that will love them rather than chasing those who do not. But here's the problem. WE'RE NOT TEACHING PEOPLE HOW TO RECOGNIZE THAT.

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Retorting something like this and expecting people to just figure out if they like them or not is utterly ineffective. It just keeps them chasing the uninterested without fully knowing what situation they're really in. We're not teaching them how to actually recognize this situation so they could fully move on. People are just looking at this from their experience, not from the experience of another person. So when you hear advice like "go after women who want you than women who don't want you" and you don't know exactly what they're talking about, only have an idea, then you're ill equipped to deal with this.

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I've seen a lot of posts talk about things people do when they don't like you. We learn about the signs they show, we learn about what situations mean they won't like you, handling mixed signals, or if you see a girl you like but doesn't like you back, we're taught to just move on. However, I don't think this topic is explored enough in-depth as I sometimes see conflicting advice that could actually put guys back in the position of going after someone that doesn't like them without realizing. And once they get hurt by that they would resort to playing games, not wanting to get hurt, only to then put yourself in a position where you're not willing to give yourself a chance around women who do like you. So I'm going to be talking about various situations in which she won't like you. I'll talk about it in the context of cold approaches, social circles, shit tests, and persistence.

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"IF SHE DOESN'T WANT YOU, YOU CAN'T MAKE HER LIKE YOU" how do you practically apply this advice?

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PAY ATTENTION TO HER ACTIONS.

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Okay actually before you do this, read up on IOIs (Indicators of interests) and IODs (Indicators of Disinterest). Read and watch everything you can on signs from women.

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Some of you guys might know the concept of persistence and shit testing. If you don't, you can look it up and read up on it as well. With that said I'll get right to it. This post will assume that you know very well what they are.

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COLD APPROACH

If you're in a cold approach situation, you can find out weather she likes you or not RIGHT AWAY. No this doesn't mean she actually tells you she doesn't like you or not, hell she could even be polite to your face and still not like you, but I'll break it down here. If you approach a girl and are talking to her (and by this I mean less than 5 minutes of talking to her) during that timeframe, pay attention to how she is around you. Is she paying you eye contact, is she giving you more than one word answers, is she giving you more specific context and not be vague in her responses? If she's not doing any of those things and you're getting one word, vague responses, and IODs, then she's really not interested in you. And take this in, SHE'S SHOWING YOU THIS RIGHT AWAY!! It doesn't take more than 5 minutes to figure this out, as soon as you pick it up, move the fuck on.

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Now there's another situation you have to be aware of. This is when a girl is being nice and polite towards you. Sometimes they feel like they're in a situation where a guy is talking to them but they feel cornered for some reason (the most common situation here is the bus) so they have no choice but to be polite to you and hope that you'll go away. If she's being that way towards you, chances are you're going to see some IOIs in her like her being engaged in a conversation with you, asking questions about you (basic general questions like work, school, where you're going, etc and not personal questions such as your hobbies, if you have a girl).

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I'm going to be honest, the more experienced you are at talking to women, the more you'll be able to recognize this type of woman (and by experienced I don't mean just talking to women that happen to be in your life, I'm talking about approaching more than just a few women in the context of you actually trying to start something intimate with her. If you talk to more than 10 women for example, consider yourself experienced). If you're still relatively new to this then you might confuse a woman like this for one that's actually interested in you, and I wouldn't blame you for thinking that. However, this bit applies to all men anyways. If you come across a woman who's being polite to you and seems like she's having a great conversation with you, unless you're experienced, this is what I can tell you.

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The only thing you can do is assume that she likes you anyways, and if you really feel the conversation is going well, go for her contact information and don't worry about it going wrong. There's a couple of things that will happen here. If she gives you any kind of excuse as to why she can't give you her contact information, or tries to avoid it, then don't bother pursuing. The only times you can pursue is if she says one of her forms of contact is not working i.e if her phone is not working, work towards her facebook account, etc. However, during that interaction she shuts down any idea of keeping contact with you, DON'T PURSUE FURTHER. This means you have met a woman not really interested in you but is just being polite.

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Another situation that can happen is if she does give you her number when you go for it. Again, if she's just being polite to you, there are times where she'll feel the only option she has to get rid of you without you getting hurt is to give you what you want, which is her number. This is why women have fake numbers ready for guys they aren't interested in and creeped out by. But you're not going to know if this is a fake number or not, but know this. If you call or text a woman after getting her contact info, and she's not replying to you within 1-2 days, she's not interested and was also just being polite. Both inexperienced and experienced guys will come across this and sometimes aren't able to tell who's interested and who's just being polite. After you find out she's not interested in you, don't beat yourself over it. You know that during the first 5 minutes she will show you if she's interested or not. If she's not, cool, YOU CAN NOW GO MEET OTHER WOMEN. If you get her number and she doesn't contact or text you back within 1-2 days, then you know she's not interested in you, cool, YOU CAN NOW GO MEET OTHER WOMEN. This is where you have to play the numbers game. Now you don't have to just worry about reading signs, you can also pay attention to the context and timing of the situation and get your answer relatively quickly.

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Another tip that I think will help inexperienced guys and something that I'm not too fond of sharing myself but I see it's merits and accuracy of it. When talking to a woman, if you can't read her signs, then do this. Pay attention to how you're feeling at the moment when you're talking to her. Do you feel like anything she's saying you can say something back to her? Do you feel like even if you try talking to her, there's an empty feeling going inside of you telling you that trying to get her to talk seems like work? Overall talking to her just doesn't feel good during that moment. TRUST THAT FEELING. If there's one thing to know about IOIs or IODs, sometimes we don't recognize them from her physically, but we actually feel them. The expressions another human makes actually triggers an emotional response to us, which is how subcommunication works. So if you feel anything like this during the interaction, follow that gut feeling and leave, and I always say this, YOU CAN NOW GO MEET OTHER WOMEN. (If you have an condition that inhibits your ability to handle emotions such as aspergers, autism, you may have a hard time doing this yourself. If you have found a way to do this, you can share your story as I am curious about that.)

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For the experienced guys, sometimes you're not able to tell if she truly is interested in you or not, but I'm sure you all have the experience to tell that she doesn't really like you she's just being polite. Is she smiling but her eyes aren't squinting or her eyes are shitfy? Is she keeping the conversation not about getting to know each other, but talking about a subject tha doesn't build a connection? Does she just ask you basic general questions and not personal questions? You'll get a better read this way. You won't always get 100% accuracy and you may have to take some risks here and there. But you'll get your answer relatively quickly though.

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SOCIAL CIRCLES

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This one is a bit hard to navigate as you're constantly coming into contact with these people. When you see them, they're polite to you not because they could be interested in you, but sometimes you're just there and they want to kill the time, so why not have fun with you while you're there. Here are some key things to keep in mind.

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-If a woman is not trying to get herself in a situation with you alone together, then she's not interested. I am excluding a situation in where everyone else in your social circle just leaves and it happens to be just you and her together. In that situation, she didn't actively try to get alone time together with you

-If you see her carrying a different kind of energy when she's around other ppl (a more happy and positive energy) vs her energy just interacting with you, that too is telling.

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Honestly, if you're in this kind of situation, a couple of things you need to keep in mind. The key fundamental here is to HAVE NO EXPECTATION. Literally, don't expect anything good to happen, yet don't expect anything bad to happen (of course if you notice people are tooling you or using you as some sort of joking material and that's it, you may need to find another circle to bump with). Another thing you can do is to focus on your own shit. Don't worry about not being sociable, they don't wanna be sociable with you anyways so why should you? You can try to talk to them, but if they don't want to talk to you, you have no reason to try with them. All in all, just observe unless they observe you in an interaction. Now I'm not the king of interacting within social circles and laying with girls this way, I'm more experienced in cold approach contexts. But the only reason I'm sharing this is because I've gone through a lot of IOD's from women before I got into the game so I know how to sniff them out within seconds.

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Now I really get to talk about persistence and shit testing. The only time period that persistence and shit testing matters is when you have actual contact with her right after getting her number. I'm talking about a situation in which you talk to her and she talks to you back. The precedence set here is that you two like each other enough to respond to each other. If you work towards asking her out on a date and trying to set it up, this is where persistence pays off. You will have to use your judgement still. Let's say that you try to schedule a date with her, and she says she can't make it that day due to being busy. You could follow up with another day, ask about her schedule, and set a future date there. Or if you ask her out on a date and she presents some logistical challenges (like she has to do something during the day or has to take care of an errend that day) you can work with it, and give out how she can work with it so you and her can have a date. All is cool. However, if you try setting up a date with her a second time and she says she can't make it, then you don't have to persist on this anymore. At that point if she wants to get with you, she'll reach out to you.

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Now for shit tests. The only time periods where you'll actually get a shit test from her is when A. You met her for the first time and you're having a good vibe or connection with her for more than 5 minutes, or B. After you got her contact information and are still in touch with her. The reason I say this is because some guys will have a tendency to mistake actual disinterest from a woman as a form of shit test. If she's being cold towards you right after you approach her and she shoots down any attempts from you to connect with her, this is not her trying to shit test you, this is her not being interested in you. If you keep this in mind, imagine the time you would save by ejecting out of that conversation and finding another one to meet instead.