Is it possible to go from introvert -> extrovert?

katalis · 2016-05-30T11:38:32+00:00

What we understand by "extroverts" and "introverts" is not necesarily what those words mean actually.

An introvert person is one who knows and enjoy how to be on itself. A person normally independt emotionally wise who doesn't need others to have fun, without being unable to enjoy and have actually fun with people. An introvert may find himself comfortable inside a group, with some friends, even at a bar or a disco in some cases, but would probably feel uncomfortable in a huge music festival or similar.

An extrovert person would be one who finds excitement and enjoyment in such particular event, massively crowded. But may find quite boring be with 2 or 3 friends at most playing a deck game.

Neither of both prevents you from being social and knowing how to deal with people. What prevents you from that is social anxiety and the lack of practice. And the most extrovert person in the world suffers from social anxiety, you can be sure of that.

You can be a perfect introvert who gets laid 3x per week and a huge group of friends, without having to spend time on places you hate like a crowded disco or anything.

Same way you can be an introvert and have fun and meet interesting people without having to go to (in your opinion) boring coffee dates, museums or whatever.

It's not about being "introverts" who are not able to talk, or "extroverts" who are perfectly able to "approach and have fun". It's about accepting who and what you are and realising that both have strong points but huge flaws too.

It's like being assertive. There are passive people and agressive people. If you are one of the passives, should you become an agressive being? No. You should try to accept you are one of the passives and improve your strong points till you become a perfect assertive (which is not easy).

Try to read "Quiet: The power of introverts in a world that doesn't stop talking".

Do you want to go out and meet people? Great. But don't force yourself to go to bars 7x per week. You should try anyway, see how it goes, but if you despise it, don't do it. You can't work on something you hate and be a happy person. You can meet people at expisitions, coffee, the street, or wherever.

Try physical activity (it's been proved to improve your prosocial actitudes), a good healthy diet (you can have the usual cheat meal, like a burguer from McDonald's with your friends) and try new things that may interest you. Like new sports, new art stuff, dancing, whatever.

The world is FREAKING huge and full if stuff to do.

throwawaycomedian95 · 2016-05-30T11:05:51+00:00

I imagine not.

But it is possible to go from anxious introvert to socially adept introvert.

Paralleltimetraveler · 2016-05-30T14:30:32+00:00

If you're younger than 30 your brain is already plastic, you still absorb information like a sponge.

I by nature am an introvert but I managed to develop an extroverted side by...getting several jobs requiring me to be social (tutor, Host at restaurant), took classes requiring public speaking, I would talk to anyone and everyone, and read a half dozen books on socializing. I'd recommend Dale Carnegie's how to win friends and influence people and the Definitive Guide of Body Language. Also Seddit.

I prefer my alone time still but I can turn on the charm and be sociable as needed, the best thing I can recommend is just talk to everyone you meet. It'll get easy.

suavaleesko · 2016-05-30T13:21:28+00:00

Im an introvert , prefer to be alone; but once i am out in the mix then i turn all the way up and like to cause a scene . I blame alcohol

vipernova · 2016-05-30T17:55:49+00:00

Whether you are an extrovert or introvert can change over time. However, once you reach puberty this aspect of personality appears much more stable.

The brain is more plastic than was previously thought and you can change its inclinations. If an introvert can systematically face their inhibitions and fears they will have a huge advantage over the typical extrovert. The extrovert’s weakness is in his disdain for long periods of reading, studying, or intense focus. All of this, by its nature, is introverted. Likewise, if the extrovert can overcome his inhibitions, he holds a great advantage over the typical introvert.

An introvert indicates, in most cases, a quiet, shy, perhaps retiring person who tends to be introspective, reserved, and sometimes distant. The introvert usually keeps his feelings under control. One common misconception is that it is somehow wrong or abnormal to be introverted. Many introverts feel they should try to become more extroverted. The misconception is caused by a misunderstanding of the difference between introversion and a lack of social skills. Introverts prefer a controlled, structured job or a familiar social setting. Some introverts, rather than learn how to behave successfully in social circumstances, try instead to avoid uncomfortable situations altogether. Introverts with polished social skills acquit themselves very well at all types of group events. Nevertheless, when given a choice, they are still disposed to choose solitary or family activities instead. If you are an introvert and find difficulty in attending parties and dealing with interpersonal relationships, the problem is not remedied by striving to become an extrovert, but by building your self-confidence and social skills.

EndOfTheUniverse · 2016-05-31T00:07:26+00:00

Eh, everyone's different.

I've been both.

There are times in my life, where I LOVE going out, where all I want to do is find an exciting event to hang out and meet lots of people.... Every. Day.

During these periods, I hate quiet events. I hate just hanging out with a few friends, unless we're going out later. The idea of just going for a quiet few drinks in the pub sounds like insanity.

Then there are times where I'm the opposite. Where I just want to stay in. Where the bane of my life is finding creative ways to turn down events, because I just want to chill. If I'm going out its to watch sports with my buddies and crack a few, or to go to a pub quiz.

Am I an introvert or an extrovert? I don't know, because it sounds like I've been both. Times where I recharge by being round lots of people, and times where I just want to chill, and that will recharge me.

What I do know is that if I get through a pain period, either of being an extrovert forced to stay inside, or an introvert forced to go out a lot, and it's painful... I'll eventually transition. I'll adapt to the circumstances.

So if your like me, I'd say go out, meet new people, get outside your comfort zone, and get through the pain period and you'll transition

If however you aren't, if your a genuine introvert, then read the other advice in this thread, an introvert can still have solid ass game. It is no disadvantage in anyway. If anything it gives you the quiet time to work on your goals, and be one solid ass man of inner game.

Matsmanus · 2016-05-30T11:28:42+00:00

I would say yes. I'm thinking that increased brain plasticity will help, so you might look into how to increase BDNF, NGF in the brain. Few tips:

cardio/HIIT 3x/week
3 hours sun/day
good sleep 8-9 hours everyday
good diet: low in suger and bad fat, high in protein and DHA/EPA (fish oil)
calorie restriction
meditation Supplememts: nootropics: Bacopa, Lions mane, Noopept, semax/selank, NSI-189, Beta-alanine

Important note: When having increased brain plasticity you will probably find it easier to break old habits/routines, and get out of your comfort zone, but it is VERY IMPORTANT that you make good routines in this period, because they will stick.

In my experience: read alot of self help books (and fiction/non fiction), then go out and apply your new knowledge. When I was using noopept/bacopa this was very Effectiv.

Footnob · 2016-05-31T07:14:25+00:00

Yes I used to be an introvert now I'm extraverted

asiandaredevil · 2016-05-30T15:33:11+00:00

Introverts gain energy in solitude. Extroverts gain energy in social situations. Can an introvert have a prominent social life? Absolutely. There's nothing wrong with going home after a long night out and spending some time by yourself, although you should probably use it effectively. I love going out, but I recharge my energy by putting some headphones on and lifting some heavy ass weight or jamming on my guitar at home.

Sayhowyou · 2016-05-30T15:52:59+00:00

Great post. I am considered an introvert but viewed as an extrovert by my peers. In my alone time I recharge my energy as many introverts do. And when I'm charged up I make sure to use that energy to benefit myself in many settings, not just the social scene. But this is important. You first have to be comfortable with yourself. Once you find out who you really are, your passions and interests, then you surround yourself in those environments. Then you make your mark by being a better you each time you venture out. It was a long journey and still going for me. I was a shelled person for much of my life. Self help books, before Reddit, helped a ton. And now in my social circle I am totally comfortable and able to be a grander me. When I venture out into other social scenes I keep that with me. A lot more draining in these new scenes but sooner or later that'll be mastered too. Good luck.

basilwhite · 2016-05-30T16:33:39+00:00

Learn improvisational acting. Yes and, accept every offer, where you dare not go is where you must go.

Then treat your life as an improvisational stage. Yes and, accept every offer, where you dare not go is where you must go.

quienchingados · 2016-05-30T16:33:42+00:00

Alcohol.

grapearls · 2016-05-30T16:48:54+00:00

Technically I am far from knowledgeable enough to answer.

In practice what most people think is being an introvert very often is just social anxiety, awkwardness, uncalibratedness, shyness (can be a shy extrovert) etc.

In fact many people state that pickup "turned them into extroverts" or a "social introvert", whatever that means.

XSplain · 2016-05-30T17:14:39+00:00

Yes. It becomes a need that feeds your energy instead of a hassle that drains it.

sakkara · 2016-05-30T17:40:42+00:00

Boo-urns93 · 2016-05-30T18:39:10+00:00

I'm naturally an introvert and sometimes have had to be persuaded to come to the bar or to a party rather than staying home and watching a film or playing Football Manager. Luckily some of my closest friends are extroverts so the times when I plan to stay in (when I probably shouldn't be) they get me to come out and I have them to thank for some amazing nights out.

The main difference I find is that, as an introvert, I'm quite happy just talking to a small number of people (guys or girls) at a party whereas some extroverts will want to meet everybody or be the centre of attention.

There is nothing wrong or problematic with being an introvert, it is just a different personality type/style. However, my advice would be to try and make sure you have some friends that are extroverts that will make sure you're not missing out on going to bars or parties. Once you're out you will probably enjoy yourself.

greatslyfer · 2016-05-30T18:42:18+00:00

Nothing wrong with staying in my friend.

Problem is when you're in a social situation and knowing how to let go.

In other words, embrace who you are and what you enjoy, but if you know you're holding back in social situations then obviously that's a problem to work on.

iedaiw · 2016-05-30T13:15:58+00:00

Something that i know that has changed my perspective on the world and just my life in general is backpacking. Although i understand its pretty hard to just uproot your life for 3 months, so its just a possibility.

Also the whole introvert/extrovert thing is just bullshit so dont worry too much about it.

2016-05-30T11:21:48+00:00

[permanently deleted]

Title	Is it possible to go from introvert -> extrovert?
Author	PumpkinFeet
Upvotes	47
Comments	55
Date	May 30, 2016 11:04 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4lp1fc/is_it_possible_to_go_from_introvert_extrovert/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/is-it-possible-to-go-from-introvert-extrovert.1407475 https://theredarchive.com/post/1407475

Comments