Leaving the house

bang_head_here · 2024-03-16T14:44:30+00:00

Record....Record....Record. Everything! Phone calls. In-person communication. Body Cam. even record while sleeping. Audio and/or video

Do not move out, it will seem that you abandoned the children

(Lived in the matrimonial home for 5 months , dozens of audio recordings were played in the court room to show how ex manipulated the situation)

probebeta · 2024-03-15T03:50:36+00:00

No she can't. Get a lawyer and do not leave you home. Avoid confrobtations, be respectful and explain that you don't want to leave the house because of the kids until you have a written agreement. Don't drink at home, if she plays games record everything. I thought this was never going to be a problem for me and it almost did.

Ptsdveterannavy · 2024-03-13T03:51:27+00:00

Get an attorney, and don't move until you get a court order. Also, while still in the home, sleep separate, get cameras, and record audio. Be prepared for false domestic violence charges and things of that nature..

upvotersfortruth · 2024-03-13T03:30:02+00:00

Be prepared allegations of abuse, neglect, violence, actions causing her to be afraid, etc., because that's what it will take for a court to give her exclusive possession of the marital residence for the pendency of the divorce. She can do it one of a few ways: (1) ex parte emergency order of protection; (2) standard order of protection; and (3) motion to the court for exclusive possession.

Typically (1) or (3). With (1) you'll get booted and then a hearing will be set a few weeks down the road where you'll get to defend yourself. This is the most common if her lawyer is aggressive and she has total disregard for the truth (which may not be within her character that you know, but arise suddenly) and the key is not to panic and to follow the order to the tee until such time as you have your day in court. Painful. The other way is through a motion to the court for exclusive possession, this is less aggressive and more orderly.

MartyMcFly7 · 2024-03-12T17:12:19+00:00

I was in the same situation. I felt it was just as much my house as hers and I had every right to stay (and if she wasn't comfortable, she was free to move).

At one point, she was about to move when a new lawyer suggested she file emergency orders to have me evicted. They spent 6 months drafting an "emergency order" containing greatly twisted and exaggerated deails about how my presence was "emotionally damaging" to her and our teenage children (my kids told me they were fine it and far more stressed about school). There was no domestic violence.

The request was denied, but it did cost me several thousand to fight her trumped-up claims.

She also tried calling CPS (they said the kids seemed well cared for) and the police (who asked me to volunteer to leave for one night, which I refused, and there was nothing they could do without a crime).

My lawyer suggested it may have been cheaper to move out than to fight all her ridiculous claims and the risk her dreaming up a domestic violence claim. But to me, it was a matter of principle: we both had an equal right to stay or go and neither of us should be forcing the other out. (“I’m sorry you fell out of love with me, but that doesn’t give you the right to kick me out of my home, too!”)

stacksmasher · 2024-03-12T15:30:54+00:00

Yes.

upandatom85 · 2024-03-12T12:03:17+00:00

This is a copy pasta I share with everyone who needs it. Most of this will apply to you. If you think part of it does not apply just wait a bit... this is what is known as the list. Feel free to add to it. It will only help others.

Don't drink. It'll only hurt the situation. Trust me. You need to stay calm drinking will not help with this.

Do not lose your temper. If you do not stay calm you will lose. She wants you to get upset. She wants to be able to call the cops on you.

You can be darn sure she is going to try to get an EPO (emergency protection order) against you. All she has to say is there is escalating behavior and she is afraid for her life and boom. It'll cost you 10k minimum to fight it and have it thrown out.

Give your firearms to someone so she can't say that you threatened her. She may try to have your firearms taken away. It is difficult to get them back from the police.

Record every conversation and prepare for false domestic violence accusations (CUBE ACR records calls automatically and can also record on your phone in the background. Its free in the app store). Check your local laws regarding recording. An illegal recording proving you innocent is better than none at all.

She will try to provoke you to get you to say things to use against you. STAY CALM! RECORD EVERYTHING!

Lift heavy weights.

Walk. Daily.

Learn to meditate.

Get therapy. Honestly, it will help. No matter how tough you think you are we can all use a little help.

Change all passwords. INCLUDING YOUR PHONE! Mutual or not. Be sure she does not have access to your accounts of any sort. Get a new credit card. Fully separate finances. Figure out what you still need to pay and what is her fucking problem now.

She will try to clean out your account and will take anything she is able to. You need to prevent that. Chances are she is way ahead of you on this.

Secure important paperwork including tax information and anything she can use against you in a safe location.

She's 10 steps ahead of you. She's already told her friends/family/attorney. She's got big plans for your money and property.

She will try to get you out of the house. Do not leave your home! If she wants to end the relationship she can leave. If you are gone from the home she will claim abandonment and keep rights to the home.

Document every fucking thing. Keep a notebook in your phone(New safe password). Record interactions and important notes. Record all interactions. Women lie! Sucks, but it's true.

She will try to rewrite history. Things that happened will not have happened. What was said or done will not be the same as reality. This is called GASLIGHTING. Look it up and understand it! She will make you question your grip on reality. She will rewrite your history to make you the bad guy in her story, to justify what she is currently doing to you and what she has done to you.

If you're wondering if you need a lawyer then you needed one last month. Lawyers suck and are expensive. Get a good one.

Research GREY ROCK/180 METHOD, then implement It.

Research MONKEY BRANCHING and understand the female imperative. If she's leaving you she probably already has someone else. Sorry.

Research and understand BRIFFAULTS LAW.

Research and understand the LIGHT SWITCH EFFECT.

Research and understand DARVO TACTICS.

Look up FEMALIE SOLIPSISM.

This is a catch all list. It may or may not completely apply to you. Most of it will I'm sure. Good luck. Stay strong.

Books: the first one is a Canadian book!

-Surviving your divorce by Michael Cochrane

https://www.google.com/search?gs_ssp=eJzj4tFP1zc0Sso1K8tOMjdg9BIrLi0qyyzLzEtXqMwvLVJIySzLL0pOBQDu5g03&q=surviving+your+divorce&oq=surviving+your+&aqs=chrome.1.0i355i512j46i512j69i57j0i512j46i512l3j0i512j46i512.7999j1j4&client=ms-android-rogers-ca-revc&sourceid=chrome-mobile&ie=UTF-8

NO MORE MR NICE GUY is a book you should read.

If she cheated.... check out LEAVE A CHEATER GAIN A LIFE. And/or CHEATING IN A NUTSHELL.

If anyone has any advice or info they would like to add to "the list" please let me know.

Helpful-Country-4245 · 2024-03-12T11:44:47+00:00

install cameras in your house, she gona tell lies and you need tonprotect you.

Old-Macaroon8148 · 2024-03-12T11:35:52+00:00

Don’t leave but watch out for a fake DV claim to get you out.

Adorable_FecalSpray · 2024-03-12T06:35:06+00:00

Get a recording device and/or cameras.

edr5619 · 2024-03-12T05:23:20+00:00

She could apply for exclusive use of the home. Around here, that process is about $5k...to start. And it takes upwards of two months.

It's also not automatically granted. Here the court considers ability to financially manage new accommodations, whether other arrangements could be made such as moving in with family and other things in making a ruling.

But she could do a quick and dirty and apply for a protection order of some sort...

the-indigo-king · 2024-03-12T04:29:16+00:00

No. But she can dream up some domestic violence allegations and have the courts do that. You’ll find plenty of information here from others on what that is like and how to avoid it (and you should avoid it at almost any cost).

Be courteous and civil. Pay attention to whether you are in a one-party or two-party recording state.

Title	Leaving the house
Author	Embarrassed-Safe-670
Upvotes	8
Comments	23
Date	March 12, 2024 4:13 AM UTC (2 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/Divorce_Men
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/Divorce_Men/comments/1bco6kv/leaving_the_house/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/Divorce_Men/leaving-the-house.1426081 https://theredarchive.com/post/1426081

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