There are two false idea in society I want to question. The first is the belief that "One person will save you". Some call this the "soul mate".

But as plenty of people have realized and pointed out, this puts too much pressure and expectation on one person.

Wouldn't a better idea be to have a group of people you can depend on?

If there is just 1 person you depend on for emotional support or help, that person has to listen to all your problems and spend a lot of time helping you.

So it's better to have a group.

The next myth I want to question, is the false idea that if you're a guy, the person who saves you has to be a girl. Why can't it be a guy you're close friends with, or a group of guys you're close friends with.

A better idea is that rather than relying on 1 girl to always be there for you, rely on a group of close guy friends, or soul tribe. They are the people that will be there for you for the rest of your life. (And if one guy does disappear, you can find another guy. But because your emotion dependence is divided among several of them rather than just one, it wont hurt as much when that person disappears).

Accept that your wife can leave at any moment. But you stay with her and don't leave her because it's your duty to stay with her and the children. In some ancient traditions like Hinduism, the man stayed with the family because it was his duty. So the man get more emotionally attached to his male friends, but he doesn't dismiss the wife and children as it's his duty (not unless something really bad happens that causes him to divorce her).

But you can be emotionally closer to your guy friends and plan to be friends with them for the rest of your life as well.

Most girls will support a guy having a group of close guy friends as his priority over her (it's why sometimes when a guy goes to a club by himself, girls will ask him where are his friends). They understand this will help them as a couple survive. A lot of girls whose husband has no male friends will complain that they have to listen to all the husband's problems, and this has been the reason some marriages have ended.

A few girls may get an ego and want to be a priority over the guy's male friends, but this is not healthy, and will be worse in the long-term when the guy becomes too dependant emotionally on the girl, or the couple are in trouble and have nobody to help them.

I think a guy should have his Purpose and guy friends as more important than his wife. It's only when he makes other girls more important than his wife that he is wrong.

I think there are 2 types of girls:

1) Good for marriage girls = Girl who want her husband to have a Purpose and guy friends more important than them. They have less of an ego.

2) Not ideal for marriage girls = Girls who want her husband to make them their number one priority, and the guy has to sacrifice his Purpose and guy friends for her. This will then cause the guy to become needy and emotionally dependent on the girl, which then causes the girl to lose attraction for the guy. It's as if at some unconscious level, girls realize if they are a guy's number one priority, it will be bad for her and her children's survival, which is why girls run away from needy guys. Girls who want to be a guy's number one priority are going against their basic female nature.

Back in the day when we lived in villages, men would depend on other men for emotional support and assistance. In some old cultures, a men's male friends were considered his soul mates. I read a book on tribes that said a lot of problems our modern society faces comes from the fact we as humans need social connectedness, but ever since moving to cities and other modern areas, we live with just our partner. I think maybe one way to remedy that is to build our own tribe.

EDIT: There is an occurrence in relationships called 'emotional gold digging', which is when a man depends too much on a woman for emotional support and to listen to his problems. This is generally caused by a man not having any close guy friends. It unfortunately can damage the relationship with the girl, and some girls have broken up with the guy because of this. Google the words 'emotional gold digging' if you are curious about this.