TLDR

The overall summary of my experience so far, is that daygame is transformative. If you can manage just 30 approaches a week (realistically, not that many at all) daygame brings improvements not just in your dating and sex life, but in all other aspects of your social life. Not needing that girl at work or that one girl in your hobby really makes socialising so much easier, as you can just focus on what you enjoy rather than chasing a girl who has inflated sexual market value from being the only girl in the room.

There is no better teacher than experience, and the feedback you get from girls in daygame really does apply to almost all aspects of your life. I joined Seddit a long time ago, and I was inspired by TofuTofu's posts. I didn't really know how to take action, and have actually found Seddit to be more theoretical than practical in recent years. I am hoping that people will be inspired by the early stages of my journey and will join me in growing their skills with women.

Ok, now onto the detail.

 

Background

I am 26, male, from England but I live in Berlin. I am 5’5 (165cm), but I have a pretty good body from 8 years of intense rock climbing.

I lost my virginity at 18 to a not very beautiful girl while absolutely hammered at a friend’s party. 8 years later (until the start of summer this year) and I had had sex with 16 girls, so 2 new girls a year. Almost all of these were while travelling where I could abuse my English accent and blue eyes, but the girls in England tended to be while very drunk at a party. From recent conversations I actually think this is above average, but I was still very very unsatisfied with my dating and sex life. I would chase any girl that was attractive and who happened to fall into my life somehow, and it was having a massive negative effect on my self-esteem. Tinder proved a dead end as I have met up with maybe 4 girls with it EVER, and all were much less attractive in person than on the app. I have since deleted it and been much happier.

I started dedicated solo daygaming in August 2018 after watching a lot of Tom Torero’s videos and buying his textbook. I really recommend his content, and I’m incredibly thankful for what he does.

 

Stats

Approaches - 183

This actually averages out to ~25 a week, which is well below my original target of 50. Life gets in the way a little, but any action is better than none. I have also noticed that I suffer from low self-esteem after I have some success which kills my motivation. I don’t really understand this, but I’ll look into it a bit more.

Numbers - 51

Numbers that replied at all - 34

The lesson from this is to not get too attached to any one number. Also, the first 50 sets I did I had an amazing ratio of approaching to numbers, but almost all of them would lead nowhere (as you will see with my number of dates). Essentially, I wasn’t qualifying the girls (the stage before closing in the london daygame model), and I was just seen as a friendly guy who she had a nice chat with in the street. Since adding “What do you like?” or “what are you good at?” or just challenging a statement she makes (Her - I really like Berlin, Me - Why?) I have had a much higher number to date ratio.

Instant dates - 3

These were actually all pretty wild, with me really pushing to get the girl back to my apartment. Two of them were burnt out from me pulling too hard, and one turned into a wonderful 3 day relationship before she flew back to New York.

Normal Dates - 5

As I said, the ratio of numbers to dates looks like it is around 1 in 10, but in reality I think it is probably closer to 1 in 5 since I changed my approach. My numbers are still far too small to draw too many conclusions though. I keep my dates pretty similar, and it has worked out well (as you will see in the next section). Below is my basic date structure, but actually it has only worked as planned once.

We meet at the metro station (< 5 mins from my house) and walk to a nearby bar. We have a drink there and get the chit-chat out of the way. I keep it very light and just have a nice time getting to know the girl. We then finish our drinks and walk to a second bar that also in the local area. The second bar to is very “cool” and has a great atmosphere of young people enjoying themselves (it is also a little more of a sexual vibe). Ideally we sit on the sofa together, but if there is no space then we just take a table and sit very close. After a drink here, I offer the plan of having a glass of wine at mine before I have to get to sleep before work the next day. Once at mine we pour some wine and relax in the kitchen (of my shared flat) before I suggest looking at some photos on my laptop. We move to the bedroom and look at photos before making out and taking our clothes off.

Lays - 3

These girls were 22, 22, and 20. Two had sex with me on the first date, the other on the second. All of them are much better looking than me, and all are taller than me (one significantly so). After sex we would lie together and talk and joke around (and I also ask what they enjoy in sex, for future reference). There was no indication of any sort that they wanted a relationship, and my impression was that actually, I was the one slowing things down.

The two that I only had a first date both had the date plan go wrong at some point. After leaving the first bar I told the first girl that we were going to another bar, and she replied saying that it was getting late. I offered that we went to mine instead and she said “that’s fine, as long as you are not expecting anything, as then I would have to disappoint you”. I pushed for us to go to the second bar (to mistakenly try to build things up a bit more) and she told me that actually, we should just go to mine. Half a glass of wine at mine later and we were undressing each other. She told me that we wouldn’t have sex as she didn’t have sex on the first date, but then maybe 45 mins to an hour later she said “we can only have sex if you let me call you daddy”. I reluctantly obliged (it’s pretty weird, to be honest) and we had a wild time.

The second time the date model went wrong was when the second bar was crazily packed. Again (with the reference experience from the first time things didn’t go to plan) I suggested wine at mine. I was surprised when she said yes, and we relaxed with my housemates and chatted for an hour or so. I thought I had messed up by hanging out with my friends for too long, but again when I offered to show her some photos on my laptop she said yes and we went and undressed each other. My assumption was that she was a very reserved and inexperienced girl, but I was actually very wrong. I think I get almost all of these assumptions wrong actually.

 

Obvious Lessons Learnt

Fashion

I have never been interested in dressing well until I started daygame. I have two very similar outfits that achieve remarkably different results. If I wear a tight grey t-shirt with blue jeans and black trainers, I do very poorly on the street. If I wear the same t-shirt in black and the jeans in grey but with leather boots, I do much better. It is worth mentioning that the boots add quite a bit of height, and that all the clothes I wear are TIGHT (again as I am in pretty good shape). My suggestion would be to wear simple clothing that is dark and tight. Think of the archetypal "bad boy" in TV and film and emulate him. This really helps put you in the "guy to have sex with" box rather than "guy I might potentially date" box.

Volume

Shit happens between meeting a girl on the street and meeting them again. A “flake” can be nothing more than just bad luck. I’ve had girls cancel due to family sickness, exams, injury, laziness etc., and this would suck if I wasn’t out meeting dozens of beautiful women each week. Also, it takes a while to get the daygame model down, and I am still making leaps and bounds in my abilities (~200 approaches is absolutely nothing). Learning how much to flirt and how direct to be can only be done if you are getting a huge amount of volume. With the stats I have at the moment, I need to approach 60 women until I have sex. If you are not doing daygame, how long would it take for you to meet in person 60 women that you find sexually attractive? I’ve been on 5 or 6 tinder dates ever, and they were all very very unsatisfactory. The girls I have slept with in the last month have been young, beautiful, and only after a good time.

Women want and love sex

This is very obvious, but sex is fun. Sometimes women are just horny and want to meet a cool, non-judgemental guy to have a good time with. I think that hooking up with girls is more about not being an idiot than actually being a cool guy. Having the london daygame model and the date model really help remove a lot of the bad decisions I would make and let me just relax and act normally. The girls were actually pretty keen to move from the bar to my house, from the kitchen to my bedroom, and to take their clothes off. I realise I’ve been so judgemental about women enjoying sex that I have made myself a very unappealing partner. Also, for women, sex doesn’t mean a relationship. These realisations are making my game so much tighter and calmer. When I speak to a girl on the street now I am trying to project the vibe that we could hook up and be friends without any judgement or commitment.

Daygame improves general success with women

In this time frame I also had a nightgame lay. I was at a techno club, and literally used my normal daygame routine on a woman (she was 31) that was waiting for the toilet. I took her number but she didn’t reply for a few weeks. When she did reply she told me that she was leaving Berlin and moving back to France (even though she was from Taiwan) at the end of the week, so could only meet on the Wednesday. We met up and went to a bar across the road from her house. Things were sexual and fun and we were drinking a lot (I normally have 2 drinks in bars and then maybe one in my house when dating, but she was drinking very fast and we got through 3 bottles of wine in the bar). When we were kissing she told me that we couldn’t go to hers as her housemates are very traditional. She told me that she was working the next day so couldn’t go to mine. Riding on my new-found confidence, I told her to “come with me” and we went to the toilet together. The women’s toilet was a big room with a lock on the door, so I pulled her in there. She stated “you want to fuck me” and I was undoing my belt and pulling my jeans down, to which I said “yes” and we took our clothes off and had sex against the sink.

I’ve met numerous women in my social circle and through my hobbies. I am far more confident in showing my attraction and leading the interactions. Daygame really is transformative.

 

Less obvious lessons learnt

I have no idea what female attraction looks like

The whole time I am speaking with women on the street or going on dates, I am looking for the classic IOIs. Most of the time I don’t see any, and this is really really exciting for me. My belief about this is that women are much better at hiding their attraction, and so maybe any girl I interact with is sexually interested in me. It is my job to find out and to put us both in a place where we can relax together and act on our attraction. I shouldn’t wait for a sign, I should just push the interaction forward and see where it can go.

Seduction (or sexual market value) is independent from other skills

I used to lean on my rock climbing and yoga abilities very heavily when it comes to meeting women. I used to think that only women who did rock climbing could be interested in me, as this is something they were interested in that I was good at. Since starting daygame I have found that actually no one cares about hobbies that you do that they don’t also do, and that it really doesn’t matter. None of the girls I have been with recently have done climbing or yoga, and we didn’t speak about either on the dates. Instead, it seems that there is a whole other variable of “attractiveness” that is the only thing that is important. I really can’t say that I understand anything more than that, but it is very exciting that I don’t have to be reliant on dating girls that do the same hobbies as me. I have noticed that the less I am trying to impress girls, the better I do.

Men are much more judgemental than women

When I talk about daygame to people. Women tend to be excited about it, and really interested in hearing more. They want to know what I am saying on the street, what the girls are like, what the dates are like, how the sex is, and what happens afterwards. Men, on the other hand, act very very strangely. They tend to laugh at me and mock me for needing to speak to girls on the street instead of just meeting them in my life normally. Most of the guys are actually very unsatisfied with their dating lives, and are likely just intimidated by the idea that the only thing holding them back from having the sex lives they want is their fear. I should add that this is just my assumption. Perhaps it really is ridiculous that I need to speak to women on the street to have sex.

 

Conclusion

I am still very much at the beginning of my daygame career, but I am starting to how everything fits together, and I am getting better results than every before. I have had more new sexual partners in the last 3 weeks than I had in the previous two years. I really love to talk about daygame and share my experiences, but as most men act so strangely when they hear about it, I have to share this new passion of mine here.