"Can you hold my bag?"

fitsfreshasfuckfam · 2016-07-06T09:58:53+00:00

Be a dick.

TheXXL · 2016-07-06T11:16:11+00:00

What do other people do when asked to hold a bag?

depends on what is the context. If she tells me to hold it just to go away and not return for a prolonged amount of time, i say: "No. you are a big girl you can carry it yourself". If it's just like, could you hold my bag for a sec?" i'd hold it for a few seconds until she is finished with what she's doing.

tramplemestilsken · 2016-07-06T12:45:07+00:00

Just say no. I've done this to many a girls, and I would only hold/watch it if they basically used it to let me know they weren't "going to the bathroom" and never coming back. So in that regard it was a sign of interest. In this situation she was obviously using it as a power play of some sort.

Women always have bags, and they don't always have someone to hold it for them. Believe me, they know what to do with their bag when they're alone. You're not their maid, they can deal. It's a pretty ridiculous request, and you can treat it as such.

reacon2016 · 2016-07-06T13:58:12+00:00

A date did this to me on Sunday. A took it and said "This looks way better on me than you!", she laughed and playfully hit me. Then when she tried to claim it back I said "No chance, I've always wanted my own man bag", then strutted off like I was walking down a catwalk. She laughed at me, then about 2-3 minutes I gave it back on my terms. I felt I handled it well and in my frame.

schadenfruedeUSA · 2016-07-06T11:28:46+00:00

Make her hold your pocket!!!

johnnyfaceoff · 2016-07-06T13:14:03+00:00

All of these guys saying no are missing an opportunity to be funny. I say "yes", then while they're still looking at you, take the bag and gently set it down on the ground or a table close by.

Not2original · 2016-07-06T11:56:18+00:00

"no." and continue your conversation

she was claiming you but you also failed to claim her. so other women weren't attempting.

GoRedBad · 2016-07-06T10:43:42+00:00

You can make it an exchange of value. Favours for favours. I used to demand a kiss if a girl wanted a cigarette from me (now I don't smoke at all). Demand payment up front, in cash if you like.

You can do this in a dickish way - "only if you hold my cock."

You can also just say "what did your last slave die of?"

Also misinterpret the request...

The other day a girl in a bar asked if I could take a picture. Sure, I said, taking the girl by the waist and handing the camera to her friend and posing. Then I posed with the other girl while the first took another picture. After that I was happy to take their picture, but they didn't want me to!

matty25 · 2016-07-06T16:41:22+00:00

Is there anything wrong with completely owning it by just throwing it over your shoulder and carrying on having a good time? I've done this before and it's actually a really good way to peacock.

questionthis · 2016-07-06T14:56:07+00:00

I felt like she was trying to claim ownership of me by doing this, but the at the end of the night I ended up alone anyway.

Yeah, that's exactly what she was doing. But you ended up alone anyway. Sounds like it was your first date, and you put the responsibility of leading the date in her hands.

She didn't know what to do so she went and talked to some other people, and you followed her example. She wanted to be on that date with you but you didn't show her attention and lead things, so it's possible you gave her the vibe that you weren't in to her. She wanted to not look and feel like she was an idiot or desperate, so she walked away but kept coming up to you to claim you in front of other women because she also didn't want to be humiliated by you leaving your date with another woman.

Either that, or she wasn't in to you and was treating you like a foot stool.

KING2313 · 2016-07-06T13:53:26+00:00

She probably needed her hands and mouth free for a little while

HairBrian · 2016-07-06T12:43:10+00:00

By bag do you mean purse, if so then how is this even a question? If my wife asked me to, I'd look at er face and smile like she's joking, if she tried to hand it to me I would not take it, that'd be ridiculous, it has a shoulder strap for a reason, and I'm not going to need anything inside that thing, why the hell would I ever tote it around, especially at a social event? To become the go to guy for tampons and Chapstick, no thanks.

Chad_PUA · 2016-07-06T22:31:05+00:00

Look. If a girl asks you to hold a bag while she runs to the bathroom, you can be a decent human and help her. If she asks you to hold her bag so she can order a beer (aka she can damn well do both), then you can make a witty remark. There's no absolutes. Just use common sense

shoganaiyo · 2016-07-06T17:46:06+00:00

I felt like she was trying to claim ownership of me by doing this,

Your insight is correct, in a way she was claiming you. You were in a party with lots of other attractive girls, by having you hold her bag and drink she's signalling to the other girls that you have some kind of relationship. A woman doesn't let just any man watch her drink and bag -- a creep might do something to her drink or rummage through her stuff without her consent. That's a display of trust in a group setting where other women can see, that's not such a bad thing. It's easy to miss this very important point and get hung up on the fact a woman made a move on you instead of the other way around.

but the at the end of the night I ended up alone anyway.

That will happen even on days you're surrounded by pussy, you need to make peace with this.

What do other people do when asked to hold a bag? I feel like it shouldn't be an issue, but then I looked down and I'm standing in a group of girls holding a fucking handbag.

I honestly don't see what the problem is. You're surrounded by girls; have you considered that they felt comfortable around you because you've already been 'claimed'? Why do you think married men get so much attention? You don't have to accept it, you're not married, you're not even a couple. You can completely reject her claim on you, that's your prerogative.

Instead of trying to do what others do, why don't you instead focus on why this is really bothering you so you can do what works for you? Does it bother you because you didn't get laid that night? Or does it bother you that she made a move and you complied?

Just as a side rant: as a bi-sexual switch, you guys need to jettison the idea that you have to be a dominant alpha male to be a pussy magnet -- it's very unhelpful to most people. The world is a colorful spectrum and that describes only a small portion of the population. Some guys get way more ass being a bottom than a top because it suits them, their personality and their style better. It's all about finding what you really want.

Luce_Bree · 2016-07-06T18:28:05+00:00

I have been in this same situation, about 5 years ago.

Female colleague with whom I had obvious chemistry asked me to hold her purse as we were leaving an event. There was another guy walking with us but she SPECIFICALLY asked ME to hold it.

I laughed and flatly refused. The Nice Guy in me at the time was freaking out. The other guy ended up carrying her purse. I wondered if I had been too harsh with her.

Three hours later we were fucking.

TL;DR: Just say no.

gaurav_arora_ · 2016-07-06T16:41:09+00:00

WHOA! Exact question in my mind like 12 hours back. :O

skinisblackmetallic · 2016-07-06T18:10:56+00:00

a dick move to refuse

Nope. a regular self-respecting adult move.

torsmork · 2016-07-06T21:11:43+00:00

I have been thinking about this for years; Here is what I've come to say/do:

"Hey, I'm not just some guy you can use to carry all your stuff. You chose to bring all your things with you, so now you have to take the consequense of that: Carry your own shit :P But hey, I'll be nice for now and hold it for you a while, but then I'm going to look through your bag to see what kinds of magical stuff you have in there... Your choice ;)"

I might not say exactly this, but something along those lines. Dunno if it is the 'correct' answer. Sometimes I just hold it because I'll help out my friend for a few secs before I hand it back. It shows she can trust me with her bag. But I'll always say that I will be looking through it, even if I don't, just as a joke :)

Also; If I decide to hold her bag, she will know that there is a time limit to my niceness. If she goes clubbing and let's me babysit her purse, she will know I will give it to someone else, because I'll only be your dancing monkey for as long as I decide to. It is not up to anyone else. :)

fuckin_jesus_man · 2016-07-06T21:35:06+00:00

My insta reaction is "what am I? Your boyfriend?!" And say it with a big cheeky/wry smile and sorta laughing but always said with a chest full of confidence as to not seem defensive or less flirty

showyouagoodtime · 2016-07-06T22:53:20+00:00

Ugh! It is such a dick move by the girl to ask you to hold her bag! As a female I find it Cringe Worthy when I see men holding a woman's purse. I carry a purse, it has straps that make it easy to carry, and bathrooms have hooks to hold them. I don't need anyone to hold my bag for me, it's mine, I can hold it myself, otherwise I wouldn't carry one. This is just awful and unacceptable unless in the most dire circumstance and only with a serious boyfriend or husband, who then must be rewarded later. On behalf of shitty girls who can't hold their own damn bags I am so sorry you were asked to do this!

Woujo · 2016-07-06T13:25:41+00:00

This is her pulling a power move on you. I will hold somebody's bag or phone if they absolutely need me to, but not otherwise. Next time she asks, just say "why do you need me to hold your bag?" If she can't give a good answer, say no. She will become more attracted to you.

SexPanther124 · 2016-07-06T16:12:26+00:00

AKA

"Can you hold my bag while I go suck some other guys dick"

yallapapi · 2016-07-06T15:01:14+00:00

This is always a test.

"Fuck no I'm not gonna hold your bag"

lawrent633 · 2016-07-06T16:55:50+00:00

Dude, what if all this trying to claim ownership of you stuff was all garbage in your own mind?

Here's something I got from the course Understanding Women 101: women see their purse/bag as an extension of themselves. Think of the aspirine and pills and tissues and condoms and whatnots they're keeping in it. They don't hand it over to a random guy they don't trust. If you're on a restaurant/drink with her you can evaluate how secure she feels around you based on whether she puts her purse on the ground close to her or equally spaced between the two of you, and whether or not she takes it with her to the bathroom.

About your girl of last night I can't say for sure what she was thinking. Maybe she saw you as this nice apathetic guy that could be her purse- and beer-holder for the night. Maybe that's all in your mind. I wasn't there, can't tell. But when a girl hands her purse over to me I feel flattered, and treat it with the greatest respect.

Now about the part of you standing there fucking holding a damn handback in a group of girls and how ridiculous you seemed. Try reframing it that way: she chose you, especially you, for this. You're her champion, she's your princess, and you're protecting the most sacred thing she has in this world: her purse. Maybe farfetched, maybe inapropriate to yesterday's situation, but just imagine the picture for a moment. Imagine how proud and purposeful you would feel and look, if a wonderful lady chose you for her uttermost important mission? Next time, try seeing the scene as a part of a novel with the fairies and dragons and knights and kings and castles and princesses.

BFoskett · 2016-07-06T17:19:37+00:00

[deleted]

What is this?

skykiller4000 · 2016-07-06T17:47:19+00:00

Please don't listen to most of the comments. Most of them are quite terrible recommendations. If it ever happens again, simply apply one of your own conditions.

"Sure I will hold your bag but you'll have to give me a kiss/hug first"

You could also play a little simple game and if she wins you'll hold her bag and if you win she has to buy you a beer, give you a kiss/hug, do a silly dance move. honestly anything will work.

The game could be something like you say 3 words and she has to say them the exact same way you do, you'd say Hippopotamus, then she'd say it. Then you say Rhinoceros, then she'd say it. And then you say wrong and shake your head. Most girls will try and argue with you and say that they said it right but then you explain that the last word was "wrong". And you win!!

HandsomestNerd · 2016-07-06T18:22:42+00:00

Say "no"

wickedhoneyb · 2016-07-06T18:31:18+00:00

From a ladies' perspective, since you just met, she should hold her own bag/drink unless something unexpectedly came up and she needs you for a moment.

You aren't furniture, you're a person. Just assert yourself and let her know there are secure places for her belongings (car, other room, etc.)

Always b kind but sure of being humane to yourself and other people.

tall_rock_shelf · 2016-07-06T18:50:36+00:00

It's not a question about being rude. Why does someone bring something that they can't take care of themselves?

Suppose you had a buddy who carried his motorcycle helmet with him everywhere. Would it be ok if he made you carry it whenever he wanted to dance or take a piss? No of course not. He knew he was going to a club where there isn't any place to keep it safe. If he couldn't carry it around the whole night then why did he come by motorcycle? Why didn't he leave it locked on the motorcycle?

If you don't think through these things before leaving home then you're dumb. If you think of these things and get it anyway expecting someone to help you out then you're inconsiderate and lazy.

Being able to handle yourself and your own things is a basic requirement of being an adult.

natephant · 2016-07-06T19:08:38+00:00

Put her bag down next to you somewhere, and keep an eye on it.

She might be trying to claim you (that's not actually bad.) it shows she's interested in you, which in turn could make other women interested as well.

She might just want Somebody to watch her shit (just like you'd probably ask a buddy to watch your beer when you go piss)

Actually physically holding her bag or drink makes you look like a servant, but taking it from here and placing it on a table or chair next to you while you talk to somebody doesn't lower your value at all.

cathasyourtongue · 2016-07-06T19:55:40+00:00

"Theres a table right there for your beer and bag. Ill watch them for a minute"

BRUTALLEEHONEST · 2016-07-06T20:02:55+00:00

Ask her if you can leave it in the car.
Ask the host of the party if they can hide it somewhere safe
Say "no" unless you feel like it's worth it (as in, you're going to get something out of it). Make up an excuse like "Sorry, I have no free hands since I'm holding 2 drinks" or "Sorry, I need a hand free to meet people" or "sure, as long as you don't mind me going through it" (with a smile)

Also, if you were planning on maybe hooking up with her, then don't take her to a party to mingle unless you have some kind of understanding that she's going to stay with you or come back to you.

starfirex · 2016-07-06T21:49:49+00:00

"Why?"

If she wants you to hold it for a legitimate reason then hold it. If it's a bullshit reason then you can call her on it. Expect the first one though, women are rarely as petty/manipulative as men on the internet make them out to be.

gillgar · 2016-07-07T00:37:22+00:00

As long as you're not putting it on your shoulder you're fine mate.

I've also found it helps you put your arm straight down while holding the bag (just. Be sure you're not scrapping the bag on the floor).

Source:I have a sister who frequently makes me hold her bag.

Nergaal · 2016-07-07T02:50:30+00:00

You failed a basic shittest

beehappier · 2016-07-07T03:24:28+00:00

Is she an evil bitch? I had a "friend" whose ex girlfriend did things like that to him.

I saw some of the posts about it being a compliment, and maybe it is but with evil bitches it is about making a fool out of you in front of everyone. All of the bitches think it is funny.

I remember seeing one poor guy holding a handbag while he was waiting at the top of an escalator in a shopping centre for his girlfriend. All of the women that saw him were laughing at him and hiding it from him. Poor guy was there feeling humiliated and trying to hide it. Making a sacrifice for his girlfriend.

I explained to him what was really going on and told him to dump the bitch. You really want someone that will treat you like that raising your children? The girlfriend came back after i had been spelling it out for him and there was a fight.

It is bitches negging. Sometimes they are showing other women that they are the alpha and the guy is a handbag.

Maybe the guys that see it as a compliment are right in these circumstances. Hard to tell from here. A girl will leave a drink on your table when she wants to talk to you alone, but that doesnt mean she wants sex, it means she wants fun.

I would babysit a handbag for a woman, but i would not put up with her humiliating me.

Analinvaeder · 2016-07-07T06:20:10+00:00

Get the cash expensive make up and ditch.

Manwhorelio · 2016-07-07T10:28:27+00:00

Dude you can't be such a rollover. That's pathetic. No wonder you went home alone. Shame on you

jakeinmn · 2016-07-07T16:49:18+00:00

If its a female friend of our group, I'd do it. If anyone tells me to hold a food or drink item, I say that they pay a fee of a sip or bite. But a stranger asking for me to hold their purse I say something along the lines of, gtfo I'm not your shelf, try the floor, bar, your friend. If they insist, I drop the fucking bag like it burnt my hand.

TheTreee · 2016-07-06T18:43:17+00:00

Pull her close, and whisper smoothly in her ear: "I'll hold your bag, but you're going to hold mine later tonight." Then kiss her on the neck and send her on her way. If your bag doesn't end up being handled by her later that evening, no second date. No need to be a dick.

S_Y_N_T_H · 2016-07-06T20:25:55+00:00

Tell her to hold your nuts.

edit: changed ask to tell

mad-n-fla · 2016-07-06T12:34:02+00:00

"But, I'll only give it back over breakfast..."

Title	"Can you hold my bag?"
Author	MinxXxy
Upvotes	178
Comments	139
Date	July 6, 2016 9:55 AM UTC (10 years ago)
Subreddit	Posted in /r/seduction
Original Link	https://old.reddit.com/r/seduction/comments/4rhrtj/can_you_hold_my_bag/
Archive Link	https://theredarchive.com/r/seduction/can-you-hold-my-bag.1306622 https://theredarchive.com/post/1306622

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